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The whole catalyst for writing
the book is, and it’s called

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Restored, because everything in
my life needed to be restored.

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My relationship with my wife, my
relationship with my children,

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my health, uh, my soul, my, um,
self-image, I mean, everything.

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I had to start from scratch and

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Today, we’re speaking with Randy Pitkin.

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Randy is the author of Restored.

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Randy, could you please introduce
yourself and let people know just a

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little bit more about you, please?

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Sure.

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Um, I’m Randy Pitkin.

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I was born and raised in New Haven,
Connecticut, um, in a very typical

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middle class conservative Jewish
family in a very Jewish neighborhood.

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Um, I had, um, excellent
grandparents, very kind, very loving.

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We were very close, we saw
them several times a week.

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Um, but my home, um, was very
dysfunctional, there was a lot of trauma.

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My mother was very abusive and, um, um, we
can get into, we can get into all of that.

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I was molested by an older neighborhood,
a male neighborhood boy when I

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was twelve years old, which really
affected the, the rest of my life.

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And the other event that affected
me as well was, few months after

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that happened, my, my mother
left my father for an Italian man

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twenty years younger than she was.

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And in the early seventies, for
an unmarried woman to live with a,

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a man, um, was quite the scandal.

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And especially in a Jewish
neighborhood, you can imagine

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what a, a scandal that was.

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So I grew up with a lot of
shame because of those events.

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And as I got older, my shame turned
into rage and anger, and I became

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a very, very angry, angry person.

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Um, I wrote a book called Restored,
which chronicles my whole, my life, my

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upbringing, all the events that happened.

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And it also discusses how I
finally found wholeness and peace.

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And offering some advice, and some
insights, and hope to others who are

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dealing with either trauma, or they’ve
been molested, or they’ve been, uh,

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abandoned, whatever the case may be.

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Um, you know, at the beginning of
my book, I, I include a quote that

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says, People raised on love see things
differently than those raised on survival.

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And I did not know how true that
was until I was a much older person.

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Um, I actually, I didn’t realize that
until I read that quote about a year

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ago, and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

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I mean, it really resonated with
me because I was, I was not so

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much raised on love, more raised
on survival, uh, from a young age.

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And you know, your mother is the person
who’s supposed to love you, care for you,

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protect you, nurture you, all of that.

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Um, my mother was the, the total opposite.

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Very abusive woman.

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And most people, they could think of
bonding moments with their, their parents.

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You know, your mother, you think of,
I don’t know, birthdays, first day of

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school, graduations, whatever it is.

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Uh, for me, bonding moments
were being exposed to explicit

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pornography by my mother when I
was about nine, ten years old.

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Um, my mother worked in a bar that had
strippers and I was brought up there

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on weekends and so here I am, ten,
eleven years old, looking at strippers.

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Um, my mother

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would have me break windows of
business associates or somebody

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who she had a beef with.

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You know, I was a little older then, you
know, seventeen, eighteen, older teenager

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then.

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um, my mother had faked robberies
of her home and businesses.

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And one year she came to visit
me, uh, in New Jersey, Atlantic

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City, which is where I lived.

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I moved away from Connecticut
where I’m from, at twenty.

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And she came down for a visit once and
she dragged me to the police, police

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station with her to, uh, say we had been
robbed, so it was another fake robbery.

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So, you know, when you think of bonding
moments, these are, these are my

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bonding moments, memories of my mother.

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And, uh, you know, I, I’m so
envious and jealous of friends

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that have such great parents.

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Uh, my father was a great guy.

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He was very kind to me
and took care of me and

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no complaints there.

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Um, but yeah, living with my mother, uh,
was very, very traumatic and stressful.

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And, uh, because of these events,
and the way I, I was raised, and the

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things that happened to me as, as a,
in a, at a very early age, I became

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very promiscuous at a young age.

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Like 14, 15, I, I became
very, very promiscuous.

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And this of course just escalated into
my later teen years and, um, adult years.

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And just anecdotally, um, Simply
Red is one of my favorite groups.

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I love Mick Hucknall, the, the singer.

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And so while learning about Mick, he was
raised in a home where his mother had

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abandoned the family when he was a child.

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And he was a very, very
promiscuous man as well.

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And one of the things that he shared that,
that resonated with me was, he said that,

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um, he felt as if he was looking for a
woman’s approval, um, love that he never

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got from his mother, things like that.

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So, you know, when I heard that I, it
really made me stop and think that I, I

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think I might’ve been on that same path.

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So the big takeaways from the book,
the, the reason I, I wrote the book

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is ’cause I really want to encourage
people who’ve been, uh, abused,

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molested, abandoned, um, traumatized
in one way or another to, to seek help.

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Uh, I never, I never sought help.

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Um, I did a podcast a little while back
and one of the closing questions was,

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What would you have
told your younger self?

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And I, I said, that’s
really a great question.

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And I thought about it and then
unequivocally my answer was, get help.

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Uh, I wish I had sought some
help when I was younger, um, but

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that was just not on my radar.

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The idea that, I mean, I
wouldn’t even tell anybody what

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happened, let alone get help.

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But I would really encourage
people, I don’t care how old

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or young you are, um, get help.

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And that does not necessarily
need to be a, a professional

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therapist or counselor, it could be.

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It could just be sharing with a,
a trusted friend and confiding in

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them with what happened to you.

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Um, that was enough for me
to work through my issues.

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And, but there’s no one size fits all.

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So I just encourage people, you
know, find what works for you,

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but stop ignoring your past.

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Stop ignoring your trauma
because it’s like a cancer

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that’s going to eat away at you.

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It’s going to affect your overall
health and wellbeing and unaddressed,

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eventually it’ll, it’ll just kill you.

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Just kill you as a person.

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And, um, that’s what happened to me.

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Um, the other thing I would share as,
as, as a big overview here is that, um,

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raised Jewish and always believed in God.

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Um, when I was in my twenties, I,
my wife was a Christian and I got

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exposed to evangelical Christianity,
and, but I, I found a very narrow

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minded fundamentalist view of that.

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Which also damaged me because it taught
me, um, an incorrect view of God.

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I was taught that God only loves
certain individuals, not all, and

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that some people are chosen by God
beforehand to be His and to go to heaven.

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And others are not chosen, they’re just
passed over, and they’re horrible people,

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and they’re just gonna end up in hell.

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It was much, much later, actually, thirty
years later, that I finally was introduced

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to Eastern Orthodox Christianity, which
come to find out has a lot in common

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with Judaism, such as the fact that God
loves all without condition or exception.

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That people are not born bad,
people are, are born good, like

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the Earth, Wind and Fire song,

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you know, Child is born with
a heart of gold, way of the

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world, makes his heart so cold.

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Um, but I, I come to see that
people are, are not born bad.

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You can become bad through your
choices, but usually it’s because

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of your environment, and what
you’re exposed to, and those very

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strong influences on your behavior.

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Um, the Orthodox call that ancestral
sin, uh, as opposed to western theology,

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be it Protestant or Catholic, they call
it original sin, means you are born a

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sinner and you are born with that guilt.

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Um, you know, Jews and Orthodox never
believe that anybody is born guilty.

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You don’t become guilty until
you actually commit a crime or

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a sin in, in, in, in that case.

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So very, very different.

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And coming to understand these things gave
me actually a greater appreciation for

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Judaism and, um, the influence of Judaism
on my, my life and now my theology.

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And, um, how Orthodox Christianity is just
so different, just such a different view.

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It changed my view of God, I started
to realize that God loved even me.

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I used, some, I got to the point first
where God loves everybody but me.

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And then eventually I got to the
point where, okay, God loves me too.

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And, um, it changed my view of myself,
my view of God, but it also started

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to change my view of other people.

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I was becoming less critical
and judgmental of other people.

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I was very harsh because, you
know, you live what you learn

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and I was raised very harshly.

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My mother always spoke very harshly,
um, the Christianity that I was first

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exposed to was very harsh, and, uh, I
just adopted all those characteristics.

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But I began to, as my view of God
evolved, I started changing as

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well and became a much more open,
tolerant, accepting, uh, individual.

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Um, even, even when it came to people
of other religions, you know, I, I

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was taught, you know, if, if you’re
not, if you’re not a Christian, you

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know, that’s it, you’re no good.

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Um, that had, that’s all gone now.

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I mean, my views of that have just
completely changed and we could drill

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down into that if you like as well.

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Um, so that’s kind of how I started
out, what put me on the wrong path.

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Um, I, I think I finally found
some wholeness and peace.

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It was last year, um, a big beef with
my sister, who I never got along with

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my whole life, my sister and my mother.

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She intended to hurt me and she hurt
me in a good way because she opened up

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a wound that I did not wanna deal with
and ignored for many, many, many years.

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And I finally said, last
summer, That’s it, you people

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are not gonna hurt me anymore.

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My sister, my mother, I’m done.

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I’m done being hurt.

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And I began to acknowledge
everything that had happened to me.

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My wife had reminded me of things that
I had totally forgotten, or suppressed,

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or both, but I, I dealt with everything
and was able to find wholeness and peace.

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And so my message to people now through
my book and through speaking engagements

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is, Whoever you are, whether you’ve been
abused, molested, uh, abandoned, and even

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people have suffered abuse at the hands
of churches, pastors, priests, whatever it

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is, you know, to help them to work through
their trauma, to begin to embrace, um, a

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different view of God, and to also realize
that God has given everybody free will.

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God did not do this to me, somebody
did this to me of their own free will.

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But God is there offering hope, and
grace, and comfort, and peace, and,

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um, and I believe that’s available
to people outside of Christianity.

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I know that’s heresy to some people,
but that’s what I believe now.

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So, you know, that overall, that’s,
generally speaking, that’s basically,

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you know, the long and the short of it.

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There, there are a lot of details in
between, but, um, yeah, so that’s,

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that’s kinda where I’m at now.

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Well, Randy, that’s a good, well-rounded
explanation of who and what you

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are, what you’ve dealt with in life.

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Uh, I ran across, in your bio, a
quote, From brokenness and trauma to

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wholeness and peace, that is a journey.

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And when we come from broken
backgrounds, it is one of those

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things that can devastate us.

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And it, it was, I was fifty until
I started really getting it,

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understanding why I was broken.

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And that’s from those deep dives
into the darkness that I came from.

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I, I can, I can see a lot of
parallels between our lives.

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My, my family was not
always a good family.

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I love my family, you
know, they’re my family.

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However, we went through some dark times.

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We did some things that most people
would just be, beyond shocked about.

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And my, my mother was a very big
woman, and she was very bold, and she

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wasn’t afraid to put things out there.

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And my mother and father were divorced,
we came from some poor beginnings.

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So this brokenness that you talk about
being restored from, it is very possible.

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And I really wanna highlight that,
that that is the takeaway from

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today, no matter who you are, what
background you come from, where all

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00:16:20,350 –> 00:16:23,020
kind of broken in the beginning.

212
00:16:23,860 –> 00:16:30,775
And, and we’re, we’re thrust
into this world of harshness.

213
00:16:31,675 –> 00:16:37,795
And I, I can tell you, there’s not one
baby that I’ve ever witnessed being evil.

214
00:16:38,605 –> 00:16:46,435
And it’s, it, it all comes from what
you explained, that trauma and that

215
00:16:46,435 –> 00:16:49,105
shame and guilt that we experience.

216
00:16:49,495 –> 00:16:56,305
And I’ve noticed it’s not necessarily
from ourselves necessarily, it’s from

217
00:16:56,305 –> 00:16:59,064
the people around us a lot of the times.

218
00:16:59,859 –> 00:17:07,419
So let, let’s get into the
granularity of it now, Randy.

219
00:17:07,569 –> 00:17:14,980
What, what was that moment, that
time you said, I’m not gonna let this

220
00:17:14,980 –> 00:17:20,470
happen to me anymore, and I’m not going
to let you people break me anymore.

221
00:17:21,609 –> 00:17:25,179
What was that moment in time like for you?

222
00:17:26,274 –> 00:17:26,724
Okay.

223
00:17:27,084 –> 00:17:30,774
Um, if I can, let me back up a
minute and just give a little, a

224
00:17:30,774 –> 00:17:35,034
little more context to it so people
understand what we’re dealing with.

225
00:17:35,365 –> 00:17:41,439
Um, you know, my mother exposed me
to pornography at nine years old.

226
00:17:41,439 –> 00:17:45,399
She, um, worked at a bar that
had strippers and I was watching

227
00:17:45,399 –> 00:17:47,050
strippers at ten years old.

228
00:17:47,469 –> 00:17:51,219
And you know, my mother would
have me, as an older teenager now,

229
00:17:51,219 –> 00:17:54,370
she would have me break windows
of people she was angry with.

230
00:17:54,759 –> 00:17:58,885
My mother faked robberies
of her home and businesses.

231
00:17:59,275 –> 00:18:02,514
She, uh, I left Connecticut
and moved to Atlantic City.

232
00:18:02,785 –> 00:18:07,615
She came there and staged a robbery while
she was in Atlantic City, had me go to

233
00:18:07,615 –> 00:18:11,514
the police station with her and say that
we had just been robbed at gunpoint.

234
00:18:11,514 –> 00:18:17,004
So, you know, when people think of bonding
moments with their mother, as, you know,

235
00:18:17,065 –> 00:18:19,825
birthdays, or Christmas, or whatever,

236
00:18:20,335 –> 00:18:23,395
you know, these, these were my
bonding moments with my mother.

237
00:18:23,395 –> 00:18:26,335
These are, these are my
memories and experiences.

238
00:18:26,815 –> 00:18:33,595
So my mother was a very
harsh, um, cruel person.

239
00:18:34,045 –> 00:18:37,165
She, uh, was, could be very, very unkind.

240
00:18:37,645 –> 00:18:41,065
I was abused, I was beaten, I was
screamed at, all this kind of thing.

241
00:18:41,575 –> 00:18:47,844
When my mother, my mother left me and
my father, I was twelve years old.

242
00:18:48,235 –> 00:18:52,584
And again, I’m, I’m from a, a middle
class conservative Jewish family

243
00:18:52,584 –> 00:18:54,024
in a very Jewish neighborhood.

244
00:18:54,534 –> 00:19:01,135
For, um, a woman, you know, for my
mother to leave our home and move

245
00:19:01,135 –> 00:19:04,645
in with a man about twenty years
younger than her, in the early

246
00:19:04,645 –> 00:19:07,855
seventies, this was quite a scandal.

247
00:19:08,574 –> 00:19:11,304
Um, so we were the talk
of the neighborhood,

248
00:19:11,304 –> 00:19:14,544
of course, I felt a lot
of shame because of that.

249
00:19:14,995 –> 00:19:19,435
Shortly after that I was molested by
an older neighborhood boy, which added

250
00:19:19,435 –> 00:19:23,165
more shame, um, and trauma to me.

251
00:19:23,725 –> 00:19:27,630
And this, this is who my mother was.

252
00:19:27,630 –> 00:19:33,570
My sister was cut from the same
cloth, very mean, very mean-spirited,

253
00:19:34,320 –> 00:19:37,050
very sharp tongue, and all of that.

254
00:19:37,050 –> 00:19:45,169
So my mother, when I was, um, my first,
first abandonment was when I was twelve.

255
00:19:45,189 –> 00:19:48,429
And she left me and my father,
did not ask me to come with her,

256
00:19:48,429 –> 00:19:50,560
didn’t want me, took my sister.

257
00:19:51,250 –> 00:19:58,000
When I was twenty-five, my mother, um,
had a falling out with the whole family.

258
00:19:58,600 –> 00:20:02,800
My, my uncle, who’s her brother, my
grandmother, who’s her mother, and

259
00:20:02,800 –> 00:20:05,229
me, she stopped talking to all of us.

260
00:20:05,600 –> 00:20:09,670
She wanted money and she
asked me to co-sign a loan.

261
00:20:09,670 –> 00:20:13,270
And I refused to do it because I had
just gotten married and didn’t wanna

262
00:20:13,270 –> 00:20:18,250
jeopardize my future credit and I knew my
mother had never paid a bill in her life.

263
00:20:18,880 –> 00:20:22,510
Um, my uncle would not give her
any more money and her mother

264
00:20:22,540 –> 00:20:24,040
would not give her any more money.

265
00:20:24,640 –> 00:20:28,660
Um, some of the robberies, I found
out, I just found this out last year,

266
00:20:28,660 –> 00:20:33,445
some of the robberies that happened
fifty years ago, um, my mother needed

267
00:20:33,445 –> 00:20:38,395
the money to give to her Italian lover
that she, she left us to go live with.

268
00:20:38,785 –> 00:20:43,165
She faked robberies, and money, you
know, some for insurance, went to him.

269
00:20:43,285 –> 00:20:48,264
Some things were actually stolen and sold,
and that money went to, to him as well.

270
00:20:48,835 –> 00:20:53,245
So this, this was my family,
this is what I came from.

271
00:20:54,024 –> 00:20:54,595
And

272
00:20:56,665 –> 00:21:00,175
again, when I was twenty-five,
she stopped talking to all of us.

273
00:21:00,445 –> 00:21:05,635
She didn’t talk, she, my grandmother died
with my mother never reconciling with her.

274
00:21:06,205 –> 00:21:11,304
My mother never reconciled with my
uncle, I was the one who reached out

275
00:21:11,304 –> 00:21:14,094
after twenty years to try to reconcile.

276
00:21:14,544 –> 00:21:18,804
And there, there was a reconciliation,
but it was very superficial.

277
00:21:19,840 –> 00:21:23,860
My mother has, had never met my
children, never even inquired what their

278
00:21:23,860 –> 00:21:25,870
names or birthdays were or anything.

279
00:21:25,870 –> 00:21:26,320
Nothing.

280
00:21:27,189 –> 00:21:33,340
Um, I never asked for an apology or
an explanation for things that she had

281
00:21:33,340 –> 00:21:40,629
done to me, uh, when I was a, when I
was a kid, I just, I just let it go.

282
00:21:40,810 –> 00:21:41,889
I let her off the hook.

283
00:21:46,555 –> 00:21:51,695
Well, last year, this brings us up to
last year and what the, the catalyst was.

284
00:21:52,195 –> 00:21:57,294
Last year, my, I’m in the
hospital, I had very serious health

285
00:21:57,294 –> 00:21:59,365
problems that started in 2018.

286
00:21:59,935 –> 00:22:06,185
Um, I had emergency surgery,
um, I had my, abdomen, uh, my

287
00:22:06,185 –> 00:22:07,615
stomach basically ruptured.

288
00:22:07,615 –> 00:22:09,205
I had to have my stomach removed.

289
00:22:09,504 –> 00:22:11,365
There were all kinds of complications.

290
00:22:11,514 –> 00:22:15,235
I was in the hospital for six weeks
and almost died several times.

291
00:22:15,445 –> 00:22:21,835
And since then I’ve had complications,
uh, I’ve been hospitalized twenty times

292
00:22:21,895 –> 00:22:24,835
in, in the last, you know, since 2018.

293
00:22:25,675 –> 00:22:28,885
Well, last summer, I’m in the
hospital again, this is in July,

294
00:22:29,635 –> 00:22:35,905
and my sister sends me a scathing
message that, um, You’d never come

295
00:22:35,905 –> 00:22:36,955
up to Connecticut to see your mother.

296
00:22:37,945 –> 00:22:40,465
You know, you don’t care
about anybody but yourself.

297
00:22:40,915 –> 00:22:44,065
You’re, you know, you’re, you’re,
you’re selfish, you’re this,

298
00:22:44,065 –> 00:22:45,655
you’re that, all that kind stuff.

299
00:22:46,185 –> 00:22:50,140
So, you know, it was really kind
of hurtful to hear all these

300
00:22:50,140 –> 00:22:54,880
things, but not surprising because
she was always harsh towards me.

301
00:22:54,880 –> 00:22:56,710
She’s older than me, she’s
three years older than me.

302
00:22:57,400 –> 00:23:02,050
Um, I was very upset by the whole thing,
I started crying, I’m in the hospital,

303
00:23:02,050 –> 00:23:04,510
my daughter’s with me consoling me.

304
00:23:05,140 –> 00:23:10,705
And when I got home from the hospital,
my wife started reminding me of

305
00:23:10,705 –> 00:23:12,354
things that I had actually forgotten.

306
00:23:12,685 –> 00:23:17,124
That they wanted nothing to do with me,
I was the one that reached out to them

307
00:23:17,364 –> 00:23:18,594
after twenty years.

308
00:23:19,104 –> 00:23:26,784
I started piecing things back together
that were just all disconnected

309
00:23:27,114 –> 00:23:29,455
from my childhood and my life.

310
00:23:30,145 –> 00:23:30,685
And

311
00:23:33,100 –> 00:23:37,389
what happened was, I, I, I just
had this resolve within me now.

312
00:23:37,389 –> 00:23:38,199
It’s like, You know what?

313
00:23:38,860 –> 00:23:41,989
I am not gonna let these
people harm me again.

314
00:23:42,040 –> 00:23:43,750
Oh, here’s another little story.

315
00:23:45,520 –> 00:23:47,709
I left Connecticut and
moved to New Jersey.

316
00:23:49,209 –> 00:23:54,219
I would go up to Connecticut very
often to visit my grandmother,

317
00:23:54,250 –> 00:23:55,659
’cause my grandmother was alone.

318
00:23:58,014 –> 00:24:02,875
One, one day my grandmother
comes home from going to the

319
00:24:02,875 –> 00:24:04,735
market, buying some groceries.

320
00:24:05,875 –> 00:24:10,585
A man approaches her in her
driveway, beats the hell out of her.

321
00:24:11,514 –> 00:24:16,044
She had a very large diamond ring
on her finger from her husband,

322
00:24:16,074 –> 00:24:16,885
my grandfather.

323
00:24:17,544 –> 00:24:23,245
The man broke her finger getting the
ring off her finger, punched her, she

324
00:24:23,245 –> 00:24:27,175
was black and blue, she looked like
she had been in a, a boxing match.

325
00:24:27,625 –> 00:24:32,905
And he told her, If you look at me good
enough to see who I am, I will kill you.

326
00:24:34,044 –> 00:24:35,784
Now, two things about this.

327
00:24:35,784 –> 00:24:39,415
One, there’s no doubt in my
mind or my uncle’s mind that

328
00:24:39,415 –> 00:24:40,945
my mother was behind this.

329
00:24:41,215 –> 00:24:45,175
Because my mother was always in
need of money, my mother was always

330
00:24:45,504 –> 00:24:50,004
committing or faking robberies or
some, something of that nature.

331
00:24:50,665 –> 00:24:54,834
No doubt in my mind my mother had
this done and there’s no doubt in my

332
00:24:54,834 –> 00:24:59,514
mind as to who did it because I knew
the people that she associated with.

333
00:25:00,145 –> 00:25:06,085
Um, at this point, she had another
lover, another Italian man, and

334
00:25:06,085 –> 00:25:11,395
he had a hoodlum nephew that I
knew, uh, I was introduced to.

335
00:25:11,395 –> 00:25:14,335
And I knew him and there’s no question
in my mind he was the one who did it.

336
00:25:14,845 –> 00:25:20,064
So this is my family, this is
my mother, this is my sister.

337
00:25:21,024 –> 00:25:26,125
Um, I’m as different from my sister
and my uncle is as different from

338
00:25:26,125 –> 00:25:28,675
my mother as Cain was from Abel.

339
00:25:28,825 –> 00:25:30,804
Just total opposites.

340
00:25:33,100 –> 00:25:37,420
When this happened, again, I,
I, I, the resolve kicked in.

341
00:25:37,510 –> 00:25:38,620
That’s it, I’m done.

342
00:25:38,740 –> 00:25:40,180
You’re never gonna hurt me again.

343
00:25:40,750 –> 00:25:44,440
I dealt with everything that
I had been through in the past

344
00:25:44,440 –> 00:25:47,139
that I ignored, suppressed.

345
00:25:47,770 –> 00:25:51,370
Uh, I forgot about the thing
with my grandmother, I forgot

346
00:25:51,430 –> 00:25:55,155
that I was the one who tried to
reconcile, I forgot all this stuff.

347
00:25:55,185 –> 00:25:58,485
And my wife had reminded me,
and my uncle had reminded me.

348
00:25:59,055 –> 00:26:04,995
And working through all of it, I was
finally able to have peace about it.

349
00:26:05,504 –> 00:26:08,655
Because part of my message in
the book and my message to people

350
00:26:08,655 –> 00:26:12,045
is, you are not the monster here.

351
00:26:12,254 –> 00:26:13,095
You are a victim.

352
00:26:13,935 –> 00:26:19,659
And, um, I finally came to,
to recognize that, and deal

353
00:26:19,659 –> 00:26:21,429
with that, and move past it.

354
00:26:21,970 –> 00:26:23,260
Um, but

355
00:26:25,450 –> 00:26:31,180
the things that my family, specifically
my mother had done throughout her

356
00:26:31,180 –> 00:26:36,399
life, towards me, towards my father,
towards her mother, towards other

357
00:26:36,399 –> 00:26:38,260
people are just, they’re atrocious.

358
00:26:38,290 –> 00:26:39,460
I mean, just atrocious.

359
00:26:39,940 –> 00:26:44,290
Now, the last anecdote I’ll share with
you about it and then, you know, we’ll,

360
00:26:44,530 –> 00:26:51,010
I’ll let you drive, drive this ship, um,
I wrote, started writing the book in July.

361
00:26:51,399 –> 00:26:53,439
The book was published last September.

362
00:26:55,389 –> 00:26:57,909
I get, my father died when I was 18.

363
00:26:58,659 –> 00:26:59,260
Um,

364
00:27:01,360 –> 00:27:05,980
I get a message from a friend of
mine on Facebook who was a friend

365
00:27:05,980 –> 00:27:08,620
I’ve known for over fifty years.

366
00:27:09,129 –> 00:27:11,980
She offers me condolences about my mother.

367
00:27:13,195 –> 00:27:20,395
Now to not make her feel uncomfortable
or like she said something that

368
00:27:20,395 –> 00:27:23,395
she shouldn’t have said, I just
said, thank you, I appreciate that.

369
00:27:23,485 –> 00:27:25,585
And I was like, What the hell is this?

370
00:27:25,745 –> 00:27:27,025
Like, my mother died?

371
00:27:27,535 –> 00:27:33,385
So I try to find obituary, you
know, Googling this, that, and the

372
00:27:33,385 –> 00:27:34,885
other thing, I can’t find anything.

373
00:27:35,395 –> 00:27:40,015
So after about five days, I called
the county coroner, confirmed

374
00:27:40,015 –> 00:27:41,294
some information with her.

375
00:27:41,764 –> 00:27:45,025
And come to find out, my
mother died last October.

376
00:27:45,865 –> 00:27:50,035
My sister told no one, okay?

377
00:27:50,335 –> 00:27:52,075
She hates me, right?

378
00:27:52,765 –> 00:27:53,935
So she didn’t tell me.

379
00:27:54,685 –> 00:27:59,185
She has, she has no beef with my
aunt and uncle, she didn’t tell them.

380
00:27:59,395 –> 00:28:01,525
She told no one.

381
00:28:01,945 –> 00:28:06,205
So again, just to, to
reiterate, this is my family.

382
00:28:06,265 –> 00:28:07,585
This is what I come from.

383
00:28:08,335 –> 00:28:15,760
Um, I am not the only person that
has had a horrible family, you know?

384
00:28:16,179 –> 00:28:23,260
Um, but again, the whole catalyst
for writing the book is, and it’s

385
00:28:23,260 –> 00:28:27,429
called Restored because everything
in my life needed to be restored.

386
00:28:27,970 –> 00:28:31,270
My relationship with my wife, my
relationship with my children,

387
00:28:31,360 –> 00:28:35,169
my health, uh, my soul, my,

388
00:28:36,445 –> 00:28:38,695
my, um, self-image.

389
00:28:38,784 –> 00:28:39,685
I mean, everything.

390
00:28:39,745 –> 00:28:45,594
I had to start from scratch and
rebuild, realizing that it’s not me.

391
00:28:46,254 –> 00:28:47,425
You know, I, I,

392
00:28:49,824 –> 00:28:50,995
I was the victim here.

393
00:28:51,594 –> 00:28:55,524
And, um, it’s important that
people know who’ve had, you

394
00:28:55,524 –> 00:29:00,354
know, really crappy upbringings
or families or things like that.

395
00:29:01,104 –> 00:29:09,655
Um, you can either follow their
example and become like them or not.

396
00:29:10,375 –> 00:29:15,235
I chose to not become like them, but
I was carrying out, I was carrying

397
00:29:15,235 –> 00:29:20,935
around damage and trauma that was
unhealed for many, many years.

398
00:29:21,355 –> 00:29:25,675
And I always, I, you know, there’s this
expression, Hurt people, hurt people.

399
00:29:25,975 –> 00:29:29,275
So I ended up hurting my wife and
my children and, and other people

400
00:29:29,275 –> 00:29:32,050
as well because, um, I was hurt.

401
00:29:32,649 –> 00:29:35,950
So it, it was a very long, difficult road.

402
00:29:35,950 –> 00:29:37,690
There’s a lot more to it.

403
00:29:37,690 –> 00:29:42,399
There’s a lot that happened between me and
my wife and uh, my health issues and all.

404
00:29:43,000 –> 00:29:49,480
But it’s basically a story of
overcoming tremendous obstacles,

405
00:29:49,870 –> 00:29:53,170
tremendous disadvantages.

406
00:29:53,260 –> 00:29:57,620
You know, from the start being
set on a wrong path so young.

407
00:29:58,190 –> 00:30:04,225
Um, but there’s a happy ending and
I try to offer people encouragement,

408
00:30:04,315 –> 00:30:11,365
hope, insights, some practical
steps to help yourself to become a

409
00:30:11,365 –> 00:30:13,725
better self, and things like that.

410
00:30:14,045 –> 00:30:17,905
So that’s my goal, is that other
people themselves will become

411
00:30:17,905 –> 00:30:19,885
restored and find wholeness and peace.

412
00:30:19,885 –> 00:30:23,425
Because you and I both know
there’s, there’s no shortage of

413
00:30:23,425 –> 00:30:24,985
hurting people in the world today.

414
00:30:25,990 –> 00:30:28,150
That is for sure, Randy.

415
00:30:28,540 –> 00:30:38,290
You know, I, I like to always say
I have this muddy shoe life theory

416
00:30:39,010 –> 00:30:42,610
and it really is the key to success.

417
00:30:44,020 –> 00:30:49,450
Life is like a muddy shoe
going down a muddy path.

418
00:30:50,230 –> 00:30:56,410
And the mud that we’re walking in,
in that shoe is the people, the

419
00:30:56,410 –> 00:30:58,990
places, and things in our life.

420
00:31:00,610 –> 00:31:06,100
And if you’ve walked a muddy
path, you know that mud collects

421
00:31:06,100 –> 00:31:08,920
and your shoes can get so heavy.

422
00:31:09,610 –> 00:31:13,225
Enough where it wears
you out, tires you out.

423
00:31:15,534 –> 00:31:19,764
Take some time and scrape
the mud off of your shoe.

424
00:31:19,764 –> 00:31:24,205
Find a rock or a stick and scrape it off.

425
00:31:24,205 –> 00:31:30,084
This is the people, the places, and
the things that hurt us or destroy us.

426
00:31:30,834 –> 00:31:33,715
These things are not healthy for us.

427
00:31:34,164 –> 00:31:42,205
The good mud, it will stay with us in the
tread of your shoe and keep going with us.

428
00:31:42,625 –> 00:31:45,925
But we don’t have to pack
all that mud with us.

429
00:31:46,524 –> 00:31:53,605
And the secret to a healthy, happy
life is truly what we just talked

430
00:31:53,605 –> 00:31:56,695
about there, wiping that mud off.

431
00:31:56,935 –> 00:32:01,975
Getting those people out of our life
that are harming us, doing those

432
00:32:01,975 –> 00:32:05,014
things that are not good for us.

433
00:32:05,564 –> 00:32:09,475
And this is really key to success.

434
00:32:10,735 –> 00:32:12,685
What, what’s your thought on that, Randy?

435
00:32:14,185 –> 00:32:16,255
Well, I mean, is that your analogy?

436
00:32:16,255 –> 00:32:17,695
I mean, that was really excellent.

437
00:32:18,445 –> 00:32:18,895
Yes.

438
00:32:19,465 –> 00:32:20,905
Wow, that was fantastic.

439
00:32:20,995 –> 00:32:21,775
I love that.

440
00:32:22,345 –> 00:32:22,825
Thank you.

441
00:32:23,170 –> 00:32:24,460
I’m gonna steal that.

442
00:32:24,775 –> 00:32:27,175
Do, do, I, I like to share that.

443
00:32:27,565 –> 00:32:30,865
It, very well put, uh, Ed, very well put.

444
00:32:31,345 –> 00:32:35,395
Um, but you reminded me of something
that I also reiterate several times in

445
00:32:35,395 –> 00:32:41,515
the book, and that is you do not need
anybody’s permission to cut out of your

446
00:32:41,515 –> 00:32:49,975
life anything or anyone that is harming
you or not adding value to your life

447
00:32:49,975 –> 00:32:52,285
and helping you become a better person.

448
00:32:52,285 –> 00:32:56,455
And you don’t, you don’t need anybody’s
permission to, to get rid of that.

449
00:32:57,534 –> 00:33:00,685
And, um, you know, I know a lot
of people find that hard to do.

450
00:33:01,165 –> 00:33:04,014
They, they, they, they, for what,
whatever reason, they feel guilty,

451
00:33:04,014 –> 00:33:07,824
they feel bad, you know, oh,
what’s gonna happen to this person?

452
00:33:08,364 –> 00:33:12,084
Well, if that’s what your thought
is, actually, that’s your pride.

453
00:33:12,804 –> 00:33:15,955
Because you’re thinking what’s gonna
happen to this person without me?

454
00:33:16,824 –> 00:33:19,405
So, you know, examine that a little bit.

455
00:33:19,405 –> 00:33:24,280
Take a look at yourself, sometimes
that’s our pride saying that.

456
00:33:25,210 –> 00:33:26,920
Um, but put that aside.

457
00:33:27,040 –> 00:33:27,850
Because you know what?

458
00:33:27,850 –> 00:33:30,460
It’s, everybody in this
world is not your problem.

459
00:33:31,300 –> 00:33:35,290
You, you, you, your first priority
is yourself, your spouse, your

460
00:33:35,290 –> 00:33:36,760
children, you know, whatever it is.

461
00:33:36,760 –> 00:33:40,360
But it’s, it’s like concentric
circles that go out from there.

462
00:33:40,900 –> 00:33:46,020
So somebody who’s just an
acquaintance at best, bye.

463
00:33:46,600 –> 00:33:48,910
You know, you don’t, you don’t
owe these people anything.

464
00:33:49,060 –> 00:33:49,420
You don’t.

465
00:33:49,420 –> 00:33:52,390
You owe yourself and you
owe those closest to you.

466
00:33:54,970 –> 00:33:55,360
Yeah.

467
00:33:55,540 –> 00:33:59,620
You know, and people will
allow people to hurt them.

468
00:33:59,890 –> 00:34:03,700
And it’s that Stockholm
syndrome thing where we get

469
00:34:03,700 –> 00:34:05,620
comfortable with those people.

470
00:34:06,220 –> 00:34:14,880
And, you know, our, our life is
ours after the age of eighteen.

471
00:34:15,114 –> 00:34:17,995
There is no one in
control of you, but you.

472
00:34:18,625 –> 00:34:25,404
And those people, those places,
and things, we get attached to

473
00:34:25,435 –> 00:34:31,195
because those people told us,
Well, you have to feel this way.

474
00:34:31,195 –> 00:34:32,695
And that’s subconscious.

475
00:34:33,175 –> 00:34:39,475
It’s like the crabs in the bucket
syndrome, and you can look that up, where

476
00:34:39,475 –> 00:34:45,925
if somebody tries to crawl out of that
bucket, the others are gonna pull you

477
00:34:45,925 –> 00:34:48,985
back in and even destroy you at times.

478
00:34:49,764 –> 00:34:52,225
So it’s very interesting.

479
00:34:52,225 –> 00:35:02,665
If we take the time to educate ourself
about what happened in our life, because

480
00:35:03,100 –> 00:35:09,444
you, you even stated it, your wife
had to remind you of some things, your

481
00:35:09,444 –> 00:35:11,875
uncle had to remind you of things.

482
00:35:12,085 –> 00:35:16,705
That’s because we shut that valve
off and we don’t wanna remember it.

483
00:35:17,395 –> 00:35:23,025
But remembering those, yes,
remembering those dark things

484
00:35:23,275 –> 00:35:27,655
is actually the key to success.

485
00:35:28,945 –> 00:35:30,715
It really is, it really is.

486
00:35:30,715 –> 00:35:33,085
It’s, it’s like a cancer, you know?

487
00:35:33,085 –> 00:35:34,285
I mean, you can’t ignore it.

488
00:35:34,285 –> 00:35:37,825
You, sooner or later it’s
gonna affect your entire body

489
00:35:38,005 –> 00:35:40,315
if unchecked and kill you.

490
00:35:40,645 –> 00:35:44,845
You, you have to deal with it, you have
to cut it out, you have to remove it.

491
00:35:45,385 –> 00:35:49,555
And that process may be painful,
but you’re gonna come out healthy.

492
00:35:49,855 –> 00:35:52,585
You know, you’re gonna find
wholeness and peace on the other end.

493
00:35:52,945 –> 00:35:57,025
And if I could say one thing, ’cause
you mentioned Stockholm Syndrome and you

494
00:35:57,025 –> 00:36:02,125
reminded me of something really important
that I would like to share with people

495
00:36:02,125 –> 00:36:06,355
who, who have been abused, molested,
suffered trauma, or whatever it is.

496
00:36:06,925 –> 00:36:15,775
Um, shortly after I released the book, uh,
maybe three days after, a panic set in.

497
00:36:16,120 –> 00:36:20,050
A panic and I felt like,
what have I just done?

498
00:36:20,530 –> 00:36:22,330
I’ve just outed my mother.

499
00:36:22,780 –> 00:36:30,040
I’ve just, I’ve just told everybody the
secrets, every, that my mother did to me.

500
00:36:30,550 –> 00:36:33,760
And I contacted a friend of mine
who’s a, who’s a therapist, and

501
00:36:33,760 –> 00:36:35,080
I said, You know, what is this?

502
00:36:35,080 –> 00:36:36,130
Is this a normal thing?

503
00:36:36,520 –> 00:36:40,510
He said, people like yourself,
this is a very normal thing.

504
00:36:41,530 –> 00:36:44,050
And, um, I worked through
it after a couple days.

505
00:36:44,500 –> 00:36:52,720
But it’s important to, to say, to mention
to people that you, you defend, I, I

506
00:36:52,720 –> 00:36:59,890
kept my mother’s secrets for fifty years
and you begin to defend your abusers

507
00:37:00,520 –> 00:37:05,860
and you do it for so long, you don’t
even realize you’re doing it anymore.

508
00:37:05,860 –> 00:37:07,480
It’s just, it’s just second nature.

509
00:37:07,840 –> 00:37:13,270
And when you, when you, uh, go in a
different direction and you finally

510
00:37:13,270 –> 00:37:18,370
expose it, what happened to me was,
like I said, this panic set in,

511
00:37:18,370 –> 00:37:20,200
oh my God, what have I just done?

512
00:37:20,740 –> 00:37:24,100
But I worked through it and realized,
wait a minute, I’m telling the

513
00:37:24,100 –> 00:37:26,860
story, but she’s the monster, not me.

514
00:37:27,340 –> 00:37:27,790
You know?

515
00:37:28,450 –> 00:37:37,435
Um, it’s very important for people
who’ve had similar experiences and again,

516
00:37:37,435 –> 00:37:39,415
that Stockholm syndrome kind of thing.

517
00:37:39,415 –> 00:37:41,035
I now know what that feels like.

518
00:37:41,065 –> 00:37:42,624
I mean, I never experienced that.

519
00:37:42,624 –> 00:37:46,055
It was an emotion I never
experienced in my life, ever.

520
00:37:46,674 –> 00:37:51,185
So, uh, and it was unexpected, Ed.

521
00:37:51,185 –> 00:37:54,999
It was a very, yeah,
but I never expected it.

522
00:37:55,439 –> 00:37:57,730
I didn’t know that I was gonna
feel like this, you know?

523
00:37:58,270 –> 00:38:01,839
So it, it was really, it was
really something to go through

524
00:38:01,839 –> 00:38:02,890
that and work through that.

525
00:38:03,129 –> 00:38:07,569
So I share that, hoping that that might
resonate with people out there who’ve

526
00:38:07,569 –> 00:38:14,710
had similar experiences, um, because
we’re finding out that many more people

527
00:38:14,710 –> 00:38:20,189
than we’ve ever realized have been,
um, abused, molested, uh, whatever.

528
00:38:20,189 –> 00:38:25,525
I mean, you know, a lot of people have had
horrible experiences in their childhoods.

529
00:38:25,884 –> 00:38:29,995
Um, and it happens to boys and girls,
it’s not just one or the other.

530
00:38:29,995 –> 00:38:32,695
It happens to all people,
all kinds of people.

531
00:38:33,384 –> 00:38:35,185
Um, did I, did I, yeah.

532
00:38:35,725 –> 00:38:36,415
Forgive me.

533
00:38:36,565 –> 00:38:38,365
Did I mention, uh, I did.

534
00:38:38,425 –> 00:38:41,125
Nevermind, I did mention it
about my mother passing away.

535
00:38:41,335 –> 00:38:41,695
Okay.

536
00:38:41,815 –> 00:38:42,505
I remember that.

537
00:38:43,855 –> 00:38:49,755
You know, and, and, and you know,
Randy, with that, you know, you,

538
00:38:50,105 –> 00:38:55,194
you had that shame and guilt for
outing your mother, but wasn’t

539
00:38:55,194 –> 00:38:58,345
that after she had already passed?

540
00:38:59,365 –> 00:39:02,964
No, she was still, she was still
alive when the book came out.

541
00:39:02,964 –> 00:39:05,065
It was before, it was before, yeah.

542
00:39:06,234 –> 00:39:07,254
Oh, interesting.

543
00:39:08,214 –> 00:39:10,615
It was right after the book
came out, but she was alive.

544
00:39:10,734 –> 00:39:15,160
But here’s the thing, um, and
this was unexpected as well.

545
00:39:15,850 –> 00:39:20,500
When I found out my mother died, this,
I’ve read the thing, I’m standing,

546
00:39:20,500 –> 00:39:24,490
I’m standing at a, at this like
coffee house where I go to, and I’m

547
00:39:24,490 –> 00:39:26,290
standing at the, at the counter.

548
00:39:26,530 –> 00:39:29,740
I look at the message and I just said
to the girl who works there behind

549
00:39:29,740 –> 00:39:32,650
the counter who I’m friendly with,
I just went, Oh, my mother died.

550
00:39:33,010 –> 00:39:33,580
Just like that.

551
00:39:34,540 –> 00:39:36,130
I had, I felt nothing.

552
00:39:37,030 –> 00:39:37,660
Nothing.

553
00:39:38,410 –> 00:39:43,525
Um, I spoke to my uncle and I
asked, I told him what happened.

554
00:39:43,525 –> 00:39:45,025
I said, I didn’t feel anything.

555
00:39:45,325 –> 00:39:47,275
He said, I didn’t feel anything either.

556
00:39:47,695 –> 00:39:52,135
So I contacted a friend of mine, the
therapist, and I said, Is this normal?

557
00:39:52,645 –> 00:39:55,015
I said, I felt absolutely nothing.

558
00:39:55,435 –> 00:39:58,285
He said two things.

559
00:39:58,285 –> 00:40:04,885
He said, one, your mother had
broken the bonds of familial

560
00:40:04,885 –> 00:40:07,525
love with you so long ago,

561
00:40:07,930 –> 00:40:16,720
so many times and had pushed you away
and wanted nothing to do with you for so

562
00:40:16,720 –> 00:40:19,630
long that there was just nothing left.

563
00:40:20,650 –> 00:40:25,030
You know, I did not know how I would
respond hearing that my mother had died.

564
00:40:25,240 –> 00:40:30,700
It was not the reaction
that I thought I would have.

565
00:40:31,330 –> 00:40:35,815
And then when I did have that reaction,
Ed, I was like, Something wrong with me?

566
00:40:35,815 –> 00:40:37,585
Am I, am I a psychopath here?

567
00:40:37,585 –> 00:40:38,695
I mean, you know, what is this?

568
00:40:39,115 –> 00:40:43,075
So I, you know, I had to speak to somebody
and say, Well, you know, is this normal?

569
00:40:43,525 –> 00:40:48,625
And he explained to me, for some
people, um, and with my circumstances,

570
00:40:48,625 –> 00:40:49,795
this is perfectly normal.

571
00:40:50,245 –> 00:40:51,745
And the same thing with my uncle.

572
00:40:51,745 –> 00:40:53,305
My mother had pushed him away,

573
00:40:53,305 –> 00:40:56,575
she hadn’t spoken to him for
close to forty years, wanted

574
00:40:56,575 –> 00:40:57,745
nothing to do with him.

575
00:40:58,945 –> 00:41:01,735
There was nothing left,
there’s just nothing left.

576
00:41:02,335 –> 00:41:08,035
So it was, it was, again, an
unexpected emotion or lack of emotion.

577
00:41:08,485 –> 00:41:13,225
And I share, again, I share that
because, um, for anybody else out there

578
00:41:13,225 –> 00:41:19,405
that may have experienced that, uh,
I’m, I’m thinking of going through my

579
00:41:19,405 –> 00:41:23,185
book and maybe doing a second edition
and including these things that

580
00:41:23,185 –> 00:41:25,495
happened after the book had come out.

581
00:41:26,095 –> 00:41:31,525
Because I want, I want these
things to resonate with people

582
00:41:31,525 –> 00:41:33,235
who’ve had similar experiences.

583
00:41:33,235 –> 00:41:39,475
I want them to know that these are
normal feelings or emotions or lack

584
00:41:39,475 –> 00:41:45,205
of feelings, if that be the case,
depending upon what happened to you.

585
00:41:45,205 –> 00:41:48,384
This may be perfectly normal
and you need to know that.

586
00:41:49,075 –> 00:41:53,200
Um, so I want people to know that,
and that’s why I’m doing this show.

587
00:41:53,230 –> 00:41:54,610
That’s why we’re talking about it now.

588
00:41:55,090 –> 00:42:02,170
I want to encourage people who are,
um, victims of different things to

589
00:42:02,170 –> 00:42:06,279
let them know that you’re not the
monster, you’re not the bad guy.

590
00:42:06,640 –> 00:42:11,770
And not only that, but to go beyond that,
to bring them to a place of, of wholeness,

591
00:42:11,830 –> 00:42:14,200
healing, and being restored themselves.

592
00:42:14,230 –> 00:42:16,009
That’s, that’s, the whole point.

593
00:42:16,009 –> 00:42:18,230
I mean, I didn’t write this
book to make a lot of money.

594
00:42:19,070 –> 00:42:22,730
Uh, I wrote it because I, I real,
that’s my real motivation, I

595
00:42:22,730 –> 00:42:26,450
really wanna help other people
who’ve been through similar things.

596
00:42:27,980 –> 00:42:34,700
Well, also it’s self motivational
when we get behind the pen or the

597
00:42:34,700 –> 00:42:38,060
microphone and we share our story.

598
00:42:38,600 –> 00:42:40,250
You know, it’s self-healing.

599
00:42:40,640 –> 00:42:41,900
This is therapy.

600
00:42:41,900 –> 00:42:48,040
I found out big time that it has
helped me recover and actually

601
00:42:48,040 –> 00:42:54,384
pinpoint some of those dark
secrets that I shut off in my life.

602
00:42:54,774 –> 00:43:01,134
So when, when we get on the mic
and share, or we write books and

603
00:43:01,134 –> 00:43:06,294
we share these experiences, it’s
really part of that trauma release.

604
00:43:06,895 –> 00:43:16,615
And it, it really empowers us because we
overcome and we decide, no, we’re going

605
00:43:16,615 –> 00:43:19,165
to push forward with a new beginning.

606
00:43:20,050 –> 00:43:25,540
This is so helpful for
other trauma victims.

607
00:43:25,540 –> 00:43:31,270
It, it doesn’t matter what type
of trauma we go through, a lot of

608
00:43:31,270 –> 00:43:36,850
it is sexual, but there’s mental
trauma, there’s physical trauma, and,

609
00:43:37,210 –> 00:43:39,910
and it all happens and breaks us.

610
00:43:40,390 –> 00:43:45,445
What we’re doing, Randy,
is helping heal people.

611
00:43:45,505 –> 00:43:48,715
And that’s why I started
the Dead America Podcast.

612
00:43:48,715 –> 00:43:56,245
I was broken and I am well on my
way to recovery and restoration,

613
00:43:56,245 –> 00:43:59,275
but it’s a never ending process.

614
00:43:59,365 –> 00:44:05,085
So that second book, the third
book, it’s part of our healing.

615
00:44:05,085 –> 00:44:12,009
And it not only is healing, it’s
bridge building for those people

616
00:44:12,220 –> 00:44:17,710
suffering trauma now that they’re
trying to get over that chasm.

617
00:44:18,669 –> 00:44:27,310
Randy, I, I have had a wonderful,
uh, episode here with you,

618
00:44:27,549 –> 00:44:29,319
I think we’ve covered a lot.

619
00:44:29,350 –> 00:44:34,750
Is there anything else that you
wanna add before we conclude?

620
00:44:35,665 –> 00:44:39,685
I would just say, you know, I
did a podcast last week and the

621
00:44:39,685 –> 00:44:43,944
interviewer asked me a question,
um, I really wasn’t prepared for.

622
00:44:43,944 –> 00:44:47,665
She said, What would you
tell your younger self?

623
00:44:48,205 –> 00:44:50,484
And I said, What a great question.

624
00:44:50,725 –> 00:44:55,435
And I pondered it for a second, and then
unequivocally my answer was, Get help.

625
00:44:56,274 –> 00:45:00,040
Um, I never told anybody
what happened to me.

626
00:45:00,550 –> 00:45:04,900
And because of that, a lot of it had
to do with the era that I grew up in.

627
00:45:04,900 –> 00:45:06,460
You know, I grew up in the sixties.

628
00:45:06,460 –> 00:45:11,380
My dad was a Marine and you know, you
didn’t talk about emotional stuff.

629
00:45:11,380 –> 00:45:13,810
That’s just the way it
was back then and for me.

630
00:45:14,290 –> 00:45:16,240
But we live in a different world now,

631
00:45:16,690 –> 00:45:20,650
uh, people are more in touch with their
feelings and emotions and all of that.

632
00:45:21,070 –> 00:45:24,610
And I would just encourage
anybody, um, get help.

633
00:45:25,070 –> 00:45:30,110
Uh, whether it’s professional help,
confiding in a trusted friend, whatever,

634
00:45:30,110 –> 00:45:33,410
you know, you don’t have to go through
this alone or feel this way anymore.

635
00:45:33,410 –> 00:45:34,310
There’s help there.

636
00:45:34,970 –> 00:45:42,715
Um, and if I can be restored, I suffered,
you know, sexual trauma, emotional trauma,

637
00:45:42,715 –> 00:45:44,815
physical trauma, I mean, you name it.

638
00:45:45,595 –> 00:45:49,255
And at the hands of somebody
who’s supposed to protect you,

639
00:45:49,255 –> 00:45:50,575
love you, and nurture you.

640
00:45:51,145 –> 00:45:56,365
Um, I, I worked through it, I found
healing, I found wholeness and peace.

641
00:45:56,755 –> 00:46:01,095
And there’s hope out there for,
for, for, for everyone really.

642
00:46:01,694 –> 00:46:05,875
And I just wanna be an encourager,
um, and an inspiration to other

643
00:46:05,875 –> 00:46:07,765
people to help them on their journey.

644
00:46:09,655 –> 00:46:10,855
That’s awesome, Randy.

645
00:46:11,425 –> 00:46:17,495
Could you let people know how to get
the book and how to connect with you?

646
00:46:18,924 –> 00:46:19,404
Sure.

647
00:46:19,825 –> 00:46:22,825
Um, they can easily
get the book on Amazon.

648
00:46:22,975 –> 00:46:25,855
It’s, it’s available all over
the place, but that’s the easiest

649
00:46:25,855 –> 00:46:27,355
place to get it, on Amazon.

650
00:46:27,955 –> 00:46:30,415
Um, just look up my name, Randy Pitkin.

651
00:46:30,895 –> 00:46:36,135
And it’s Restored From Brokenness
and Trauma to Wholeness and Peace.

652
00:46:36,555 –> 00:46:40,245
And, uh, it’s available
in ebook, um, print.

653
00:46:40,365 –> 00:46:44,655
And, uh, on Google, they also have an,
there’s an audiobook available on Google

654
00:46:44,655 –> 00:46:47,355
Play if they want, uh, the audiobook.

655
00:46:47,745 –> 00:46:52,125
Um, as far as connecting
with me, uh, right now I just

656
00:46:52,125 –> 00:46:53,779
started a YouTube channel.

657
00:46:54,440 –> 00:46:59,350
I have a Facebook page and I also have
an Instagram, just RandyPitkin@Instagram

658
00:46:59,460 –> 00:47:01,549
and Randy Pitkin on Facebook.

659
00:47:01,940 –> 00:47:04,940
And I have a business page
there dedicated to the book.

660
00:47:04,940 –> 00:47:08,009
So that’s, you know,
reach out if you want.

661
00:47:08,009 –> 00:47:09,770
And if you have questions, ask questions.

662
00:47:09,770 –> 00:47:11,450
I’d be happy to answer any questions.

663
00:47:11,450 –> 00:47:13,100
I’m available for anyone.

664
00:47:14,529 –> 00:47:18,549
Randy, it’s been a good conversation
today with you and I thank you for

665
00:47:18,879 –> 00:47:20,980
participating on the podcast today.

666
00:47:22,300 –> 00:47:22,870
Thank you, Ed.

667
00:47:22,870 –> 00:47:26,050
I appreciate being here and, uh,
I enjoyed it very much as well.

668
00:47:26,050 –> 00:47:27,100
Thank you for having me.

669
00:47:30,310 –> 00:47:32,020
Thank you for joining us today.

670
00:47:32,650 –> 00:47:38,860
If you found this podcast enlightening,
entertaining, educational in any way,

671
00:47:39,640 –> 00:47:46,029
please share, like, subscribe, and join
us right back here next week for another

672
00:47:46,029 –> 00:47:49,480
great episode of the Dead America Podcast.

673
00:47:49,655 –> 00:47:55,295
I’m Ed Watters, your host, enjoy
your afternoon wherever you might be.