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You know, I think it’s so crazy that
when star athletes, right, when they

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wanna join the NBI or they wanna,
everyone says to them, Okay, but

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you have to have a backup plan.

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You know, I know this is your dream.

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I know that you’re very good at
what you do, and I know where this

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is, this, your heart is at, but
you have to have a backup plan.

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We tell athletes

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that.

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Today, we are speaking with Julie Barth.

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She is an author, she is the mother of
six, and also she’s the founder of a

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nonprofit, Colin James Barth Outreach.

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Julie, could you please
introduce yourself?

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Let people know just a little
more about you, please.

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Sure.

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Um, my name again is Julie Barth
and, um, I have six children, which

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usually defines someone a little bit.

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Um, I, um, have a special needs daughter,
I am a, I was a very young widow, and, um,

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I was, um, in a very abusive relationship.

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Um, so I combined all of those
experiences and my hope is to, um,

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help people everywhere with, um,
trauma and grief and, and all these

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different experiences I went through.

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Um, just in helping, you know, make a
community of people who, um, I guess

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are kinder to one another and, and
put their, um, you know, put their

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best face forward, um, and keep,
you know, keep trudging along, and

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more thrive than survive, I guess.

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I feel like sometimes we can all
feel like we’re just surviving,

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um, but we’re only here once, so
I think thriving is the way to go.

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Yeah.

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That’s hard to do at times, especially
in the world, because everybody makes

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it feel like such a competition.

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So yeah.

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When we open up and we invite others in,
it really becomes a whole different world.

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And I enjoy doing that now.

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I, in the past, would avoid that.

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So, so often I would flee
from a situation like that.

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So this is a new thing for me, but
it’s such a pleasant change for sure.

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So my first question to you is, what do
they mean when they say abuse prevention?

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What is your thought
and explanation on that?

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Um, well, you know, when someone
says abuse prevention, um, I think

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that almost might put it back
on the victim a little bit more.

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That sounds as if you know their every,
I get there are signs of it, don’t

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get me wrong, but it’s not like when
you’re being abused, um, someone comes

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right out the gate and says to you,
I’m going to act really nice right

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now, but then I’m going to lure you
in and I’m gonna keep getting meaner.

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Um, I guess if there’s a positive to
abuse prevention, it’s to, um, and what

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I, what I speak about is like your house
has a house alarm, your car has a car

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alarm, your brain has a natural alarm.

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And when you get those like funny
feelings, you know, like something’s

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not right here, something’s not adding
up, um, your body tells you when you’re

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in a, a dangerous situation, a toxic
situation, or one that really, you just,

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for whatever reason, should flee, get
out of, or find a, a different path.

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Um, I think it’s, prevention would be
about learning to listen to what your

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inner soul is telling you rather than to
make excuses to go with the status quo

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’cause it’s easier.

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Because, you know, I, that old
phrase that, The devil you know.

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Um, but the devil you
know is still the devil.

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And, um, unless you can,
then it’s, it’s hard.

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I mean, you don’t even know you’re
in these abusive situations, um,

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you know, emotionally, I think.

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But when you allow to just like sit with
yourself and listen to what you’re, you

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know, you get all of, it, it’s not just
your brain, it’s like your entire body.

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I got to the point where
I couldn’t get out of bed.

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I, you know, my muscles were
tight, my, everything in my body

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was saying like, this is toxic.

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You need to do something.

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But instead of, um, hearing that
alarm and putting action to it,

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I heard the alarm and I froze.

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And I think that’s what we all
tend to do is just like freeze.

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And alarms aren’t meant to make you
stop, they are meant to make you act.

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So, you know, that’s, that’s how I see
abuse prevention is to, you know, we

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teach children about good touches and bad
touches and, and I think what we really

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need to teach them more is like, listen
to what your, your body is telling you,

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listen to what your brain is telling you.

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If it feels wrong in
any situation, get out.

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Do something, find safety,
you know, move, act.

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And I think that’s really
the crux of all of it.

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Yeah, I, I like that a lot.

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So another, another big question would
be, How do people actually ask for help

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when they’re in a situation like that?

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It’s really hard.

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Um, because usually when you’re in
a situation such as mine, you know,

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people have sat on the sidelines.

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Probably the average woman, it takes
’em seven times to actually leave.

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Or actually the average
person, I shouldn’t, I’m

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not excluding this to women.

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Um, but it takes you seven times to act
and try and leave, and then you go back.

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And I think the problem is that you’ve,
you’ve talked to people, you, you

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know, you usually ruminate so much
over these situations, but you know,

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the minute they step in and they say
something, like they try and help

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you, you’re very defensive about it.

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So you do get to a point where you
look around and you think, If I

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tell, you know, like everybody knows

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I’ve been hiding it.

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We’ve all been playing this like a pretend
game where you don’t know, I don’t know.

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Um, so you almost feel ashamed.

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And like if I go to someone and I say,
I need help, you, you worry about the,

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you know, proverbial I told you so.

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Um, you’re worried
you’re gonna look stupid.

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Um, but in the end, what my philosophy
on it is, it doesn’t matter.

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People think, how you think, what’s
good for you, and stop worrying so

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much about what other people think.

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Then you’re putting yourself first
and you’ll find a way, you know, to

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find those resources that will help
you rather than avoid the ones that

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you know are so toxic to you, because
they’re all just a part of your world.

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You just need to break outta that cycle.

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So I would say go to a third party,
go to somebody who doesn’t know

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anything about your situation.

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And that’s kind of what our charity was
formed on is, you know, I can’t tell

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my friends, I can’t tell my family.

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And I, and you usually leave your family,
you leave your friends, um, you’ve

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isolated yourself because you’re just so

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focused on trying to fix it.

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And sometimes just even, you know,
going to somebody you don’t know

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and saying, All right, here’s
the situation I’m dealing with.

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What is your opinion?

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What do you think I should do?

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And finding someone
who’s been there before.

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Um, and it doesn’t matter if they believe
you, ’cause that’s also a big thing.

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Like, well, what if
they don’t believe you?

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It doesn’t matter.

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If you need help for whatever reason
that is, you know, then you find,

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someone will help you regardless
of whether you’re to blame or not.

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And don’t let those feelings of
guilt and shame and blame, um,

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stop you from doing what you know
you should do in these situations.

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Yeah.

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Finding comfort in yourself is hard
to do at times because I, I think we

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measure ourselves on the wrong things.

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Society has taught us systematic ways
of living instead of our more natural,

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caring, loving nature of family tribe.

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And, uh, we’re, we’re definitely in
a situation, we’re hurting out there.

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That’s an odd way to start the
podcast, but I, I, that’s really

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been going over my mind since your
information came across the desk.

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So let’s get back into your story
now and let’s cover, you lost your

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first husband and this started
you on your journey, I take it.

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That must have been overwhelming
to lose someone with four

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children and then try to restart.

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What was that like for you, Julie?

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Um, well, just to back up a little, um,
it actually started with my daughter.

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So I have a twenty-four,
she’s twenty-four now.

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Um, but she has primordial dwarfism,
which is a type of dwarfism.

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And when she was born, um, we travel,
I traveled the country, you know, going

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over forty different, um, hospitals.

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It wasn’t, um, it wasn’t a comedy of
errors, it was straight up errors.

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So whatever had gotten her to, um,
the birth circumstances that she

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was in, um, was just a cascade of
medical malpractice and problems.

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And so right as she was starting to
get better, um, and we had had, we had

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our older child and then we had her
two young, that’s when Colin fell ill.

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So not only was I dealing, you know,
we had, the, the youngest was six

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months, the oldest was ten, and then the
special needs daughter in the middle.

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And, um, I was told, you know, he
had gone back and forth to the doctor

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and, uh, he went to the hospital
one day and within two hours of him

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being there, I, we found out that
he had stage four pancreatic cancer.

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And about two, two days later, we
were told, He has two weeks to live.

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Go take him home, let him
say goodbye to his kids.

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And I was, you know, when you’re in that
fight or flight situation and you’re,

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I was running on adrenaline, truly,
and cortisol just from my daughter.

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So when I was presented with that, I
thought, Well, I’m not gonna, I’m not

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going to believe what you’re telling me.

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He is not gonna go.

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You know, we’re gonna, we’re gonna.

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His mother was, had ovarian cancer.

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She beat it.

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And I was just kind of on
autopilot, you know, let’s fix this.

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Let’s, we’re gonna find the right guy.

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And we, we did, he, he lived sixteen
months, which some of them were

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a blessing and others a curse.

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But it, it was a lot, it
was a lot of juggling.

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And like I said, I think
a lot of autopilot.

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Um, I, I didn’t think, I just did.

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You know, there wasn’t a point in
my day where I was like, you know, I

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think I’m going to, it was one thing,
and then I forget another thing, and

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oh, I gotta get the kids and oh, the
laundry and, oh, I forgot about Colin.

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Um, so I would say it was probably
sixteen months of, um, literally,

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I, I remember very little of it.

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So if, when people ask
me, How did you survive?

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I guess my answer was, I just did.

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I, I didn’t think there was
an option not to survive.

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So somehow your brain just goes on
autopilot and you fix what you can, and

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you try and ignore what you can’t fix.

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Yeah.

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This is one of the biggest fears
that I have as a husband, is leaving

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my wife in a situation like that.

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And also, then your story goes into your
next marriage and it gets traumatic there.

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And it, it’s really disturbing
that people have to go through

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these things, but you did.

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So what was that next stage like?

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I think that the first stage, you
know, when you talk about, um, you’re

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not opened to other people, I, I think
I had lived, you know, four or five

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years now with Tatum, um, my daughter
with special needs and, and Colin just

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being in this bubble of I gotta do it.

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I gotta take care of it.

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And if I let people in or I let them
help, it was all gonna go, you know,

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I had to micromanage every little bit.

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‘Cause if I let any of it fall,
then I’d, I’d be in trouble.

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So after he passed away, I had let go
of all my friends, I had let go of all

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my family, I’d really just isolated
myself and I didn’t want to revisit it.

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Um, it was sixteen months of watching,
you know, him die every single day.

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So people that weren’t in the home
that didn’t have to watch it, their

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grieving process started when he died.

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And I had already been grieving
for, you know, sixteen months

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and I was almost like, I’m done
grieving when they just started.

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So there was a lot of, um, I guess
I felt like everyone was looking

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at me like, why aren’t you sadder?

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Like, how are you just moving on?

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How are you, you know, why aren’t you,
you know, basically, why aren’t you

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just not getting outta bed and so sad?

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And I had sat in sadness for so long
that I just couldn’t do it anymore.

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So I kind of just packed him away and
thought if I didn’t deal with him and

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didn’t think about it, I could just
almost take a vacation or just move

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along and not be Julie Barth anymore.

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So I think that that was the perfect
setup for someone to come into my life

212
00:13:56,250 –> 00:14:02,760
and take advantage of that and use all of
those weaknesses and all the grief and,

213
00:14:03,240 –> 00:14:05,410
you know, sadness that I had, against me.

214
00:14:05,910 –> 00:14:08,400
Um, I tend to be a
pleaser by nature anyway.

215
00:14:08,700 –> 00:14:12,840
And he didn’t wanna know about
me, he didn’t want to, he didn’t

216
00:14:12,840 –> 00:14:15,900
want me to talk about it, which I
was just fine not talking about.

217
00:14:16,440 –> 00:14:20,760
Um, but after a certain point, you know,
I think that that was a perfect storm for

218
00:14:20,760 –> 00:14:23,340
him to, like I said, take advantage of me.

219
00:14:23,760 –> 00:14:29,055
To use all of that, um, to
turn on me and to make me, you

220
00:14:29,055 –> 00:14:31,365
know, to control me, I guess.

221
00:14:31,755 –> 00:14:35,805
So in not taking the time to grieve
and, you know, I know everybody

222
00:14:35,805 –> 00:14:38,145
would say that to me, like, You’ve
not even taken the time to grieve.

223
00:14:38,145 –> 00:14:40,875
And it used to bother me ’cause I was
like, How do you know what I’ve done?

224
00:14:41,505 –> 00:14:42,615
Um, did I?

225
00:14:42,944 –> 00:14:43,485
I don’t know.

226
00:14:43,574 –> 00:14:44,235
Should I have?

227
00:14:44,535 –> 00:14:45,074
I don’t know.

228
00:14:45,464 –> 00:14:47,895
I am where I am, I’ve been
through what I’ve been through.

229
00:14:47,900 –> 00:14:51,975
Uh, I had two more beautiful daughters
and now I am on this mission to make

230
00:14:51,975 –> 00:14:56,055
sure, you know, women aren’t put in
that position again if I can help it.

231
00:14:56,475 –> 00:15:02,220
So, you know, I, I’m grateful for every
decision I made, I don’t regret them.

232
00:15:02,220 –> 00:15:04,860
Even if they didn’t turn out
the way that I wanted them to.

233
00:15:04,920 –> 00:15:08,819
Um, it’s made me who I am and I’m,
I’m gonna make a positive out of it.

234
00:15:09,300 –> 00:15:13,140
And so I, you know, that’s
kind of how I dealt with it.

235
00:15:13,170 –> 00:15:16,829
Whether that was right or wrong, it
was, I did what I did when I could.

236
00:15:16,890 –> 00:15:20,220
And I think people in my situation,
that’s kind of my message is

237
00:15:20,610 –> 00:15:21,935
don’t beat yourself up, you know?

238
00:15:22,605 –> 00:15:26,265
You do what you do when you’re
presented with a challenge and

239
00:15:26,475 –> 00:15:27,585
with the best of intentions.

240
00:15:27,645 –> 00:15:31,725
And whether it works out or not, you had
the best of intentions to begin with.

241
00:15:33,285 –> 00:15:38,535
Yeah, that’s why it’s so important
to know how to ask for help and

242
00:15:38,535 –> 00:15:40,755
identify when you need the help.

243
00:15:41,205 –> 00:15:45,825
And that’s why it’s kind of awesome
what you’re doing out there, providing

244
00:15:45,825 –> 00:15:52,829
that transitional help, if you will,
to individuals in need of that.

245
00:15:53,160 –> 00:15:58,980
Could you talk to us about that service
that you provide through your nonprofit?

246
00:15:59,400 –> 00:16:02,610
So it started, um, just last year,
so we’re, it’s still evolving.

247
00:16:02,670 –> 00:16:08,670
Um, my, my hope is to find, uh, so I’ve
been in many different situations, you

248
00:16:08,670 –> 00:16:11,910
know, I’ve been this special needs mom,
which comes with its own emotional and

249
00:16:11,910 –> 00:16:16,860
financial burdens, I’ve been a widow, I’ve
been, um, the caregiver to a terminally

250
00:16:16,860 –> 00:16:22,084
ill husband, I’ve been, you know, the
divorced woman who’s, you know, fighting

251
00:16:22,084 –> 00:16:24,005
for custody against a narcissist.

252
00:16:24,454 –> 00:16:30,155
So our organization was based on
the premise, you know, in America

253
00:16:30,425 –> 00:16:35,105
it’s almost as if you cannot get
help unless you have nothing left.

254
00:16:35,435 –> 00:16:36,214
And I get that.

255
00:16:36,214 –> 00:16:38,495
And I appreciate all those
charities out there, I do.

256
00:16:38,495 –> 00:16:39,425
They do great work.

257
00:16:39,425 –> 00:16:43,204
If I need to flee my home, if I,
you know, if my house burns down,

258
00:16:43,625 –> 00:16:46,925
there are places that you can
go and many great organizations.

259
00:16:47,340 –> 00:16:51,240
But when you’re in the situations that
I’ve been in, I was not destitute, I

260
00:16:51,240 –> 00:16:54,060
did not lose my home, but I needed help.

261
00:16:54,150 –> 00:16:59,400
And unless I lost everything, it was
almost like, Well, you have a house.

262
00:16:59,730 –> 00:17:01,650
But I couldn’t make my mortgage, you know?

263
00:17:01,740 –> 00:17:02,640
Well, you have a car.

264
00:17:02,670 –> 00:17:04,440
Yeah, but I can’t make the car payment.

265
00:17:04,890 –> 00:17:09,450
So in a, you know, when, when these
divorce situations happen, the average

266
00:17:09,450 –> 00:17:13,619
man’s, uh, life, life situation
goes down ten percent financially.

267
00:17:13,859 –> 00:17:16,490
The average woman’s goes
down forty-four percent.

268
00:17:16,800 –> 00:17:18,450
Yes, she typically gets the house.

269
00:17:18,450 –> 00:17:22,079
But when you think about that,
she gets the house, she gets the

270
00:17:22,079 –> 00:17:24,030
children, and she gets the mortgage.

271
00:17:24,574 –> 00:17:29,254
So even if he’s paying child support,
he’s getting a $700 rental, she’s still

272
00:17:29,254 –> 00:17:33,725
stuck with a $2,500 mortgage and you’re
not getting compensated for all that.

273
00:17:33,725 –> 00:17:37,445
And if you haven’t worked, then you’re
trying to get a job and everyone’s saying,

274
00:17:37,445 –> 00:17:39,335
Well, where’s your work experience?

275
00:17:39,395 –> 00:17:42,425
Well, I’ve been a stay-at-home
mom for ten years.

276
00:17:42,425 –> 00:17:45,004
And what, they’re like, Well, what
have you been doing for ten years?

277
00:17:45,574 –> 00:17:50,780
When I’ve, I’ve been devoting my life
to, you know, organizing a house,

278
00:17:50,870 –> 00:17:56,330
taking, you know, your counselor,
your, your therapist, your, you know,

279
00:17:56,330 –> 00:18:00,020
you’re running a home, your finances,
you’re, you’re paying bills, you’re

280
00:18:00,020 –> 00:18:03,710
doing all of these things, but you
enter the workforce and people look

281
00:18:03,710 –> 00:18:05,330
at you like, Where have you been?

282
00:18:05,330 –> 00:18:08,870
You don’t know anything, you’re, you
don’t have any marketable skills, but

283
00:18:08,870 –> 00:18:12,770
you’re, you’re supposed to go out and
get a full-time job to support a family.

284
00:18:13,415 –> 00:18:16,925
You’re not being supported anymore, in
some cases, you’re not getting anything.

285
00:18:17,285 –> 00:18:19,475
And you know, then you’re
just left to your own device

286
00:18:19,475 –> 00:18:20,735
and there’s nowhere to turn.

287
00:18:20,855 –> 00:18:25,895
You know, like I said, I used to
show up for certain programs and I

288
00:18:25,895 –> 00:18:29,465
would look around and think, Oh my
gosh, I just drove up with my Volvo.

289
00:18:29,525 –> 00:18:30,875
I don’t deserve this.

290
00:18:31,205 –> 00:18:34,595
But even though I was driving a
Volvo, I could not pay my bills.

291
00:18:34,595 –> 00:18:36,275
I could not protect my children.

292
00:18:36,725 –> 00:18:41,165
So again, our organization is based on
the premise that we don’t want women to

293
00:18:41,165 –> 00:18:44,340
have to lose everything to get something.

294
00:18:44,640 –> 00:18:49,680
So we’re taking women-led households
who find themselves at a time of crisis,

295
00:18:49,950 –> 00:18:53,340
whether that means divorce, whether that
means, there’s many reasons that you

296
00:18:53,340 –> 00:18:55,890
can become head of household suddenly.

297
00:18:56,220 –> 00:19:00,060
Um, your, you know, one, two
incomes goes down to one or your

298
00:19:00,330 –> 00:19:02,820
zero income goes down to zero.

299
00:19:03,300 –> 00:19:08,610
And we want to do things to provide
a bridge to get them, you know, jobs

300
00:19:08,610 –> 00:19:13,290
that are actually, you know, um,
in, in line with their education

301
00:19:13,290 –> 00:19:14,970
and their, and their training.

302
00:19:14,970 –> 00:19:21,120
And, and, and meaningful jobs, not just
a, not just a, you know, a weekly pay.

303
00:19:21,330 –> 00:19:23,970
We want them to feel solid
and secure and confident.

304
00:19:24,270 –> 00:19:25,770
So we kind of work on all ends.

305
00:19:25,770 –> 00:19:27,270
You know, we take each situation.

306
00:19:27,270 –> 00:19:31,380
If you come to me, oh, you need a
bridge loan, you know, until you can

307
00:19:31,380 –> 00:19:36,510
get to a place where, um, you know,
you can pick up your, your mortgage.

308
00:19:36,690 –> 00:19:40,770
So we’re trying, what we’re doing is
we’re trying to almost not be a cookie

309
00:19:40,770 –> 00:19:45,990
cutter charity where you just, you
know, we, we give this, this, or this.

310
00:19:46,260 –> 00:19:49,980
It’s more, you come to us, we’re almost
consultants, I figure out what you need.

311
00:19:49,980 –> 00:19:53,160
‘Cause most of the time you don’t even
know what you need or where to start.

312
00:19:53,520 –> 00:19:56,100
And we kind of say, Okay, well,
we’re gonna get you a financial

313
00:19:56,100 –> 00:19:57,720
planner, we’re gonna get you this.

314
00:19:58,110 –> 00:20:02,910
Um, so that’s, we’re, and I hate to
say like a concierge service, um, but

315
00:20:02,910 –> 00:20:08,280
you know what, like I said, Women work
so hard in and out of the home, and

316
00:20:08,280 –> 00:20:13,050
when tragedy happens, there is nothing
for them until they lose everything.

317
00:20:13,050 –> 00:20:16,410
And they shouldn’t have to
work so hard, lose everything,

318
00:20:16,440 –> 00:20:17,730
and then have someone step in.

319
00:20:17,730 –> 00:20:23,520
And as a society, doesn’t it make more
sense that we stop them from the spiral

320
00:20:23,520 –> 00:20:28,380
into poverty and we help support them so
that they are, you know, fully functional

321
00:20:29,090 –> 00:20:30,710
and their children are protected.

322
00:20:30,710 –> 00:20:35,389
I don’t understand why our society’s
like, okay, once you make a vow of poverty

323
00:20:35,389 –> 00:20:37,670
now, we’ll give you just this amount.

324
00:20:37,850 –> 00:20:39,590
But we’re gonna give you just this amount.

325
00:20:39,590 –> 00:20:42,500
And if you try and make any more
money, we’re gonna take it all away.

326
00:20:42,860 –> 00:20:46,610
It’s, it’s set up to keep you
submissive, it’s set up to put you

327
00:20:46,610 –> 00:20:50,570
in your place, and, and you get stuck
and there’s no way to get out of it.

328
00:20:50,570 –> 00:20:53,360
It’s just a horrible cycle and
we’re trying to break those cycles.

329
00:20:53,870 –> 00:20:55,070
So, sorry I went on and on.

330
00:20:55,070 –> 00:20:57,110
But I have my soap box, I guess.

331
00:20:58,140 –> 00:21:01,710
No, that’s, that’s beautiful.

332
00:21:01,950 –> 00:21:07,200
You know, they hit you at
your most vulnerable time.

333
00:21:07,950 –> 00:21:13,860
And many women are in that situation.

334
00:21:14,100 –> 00:21:21,540
My wife, she really didn’t understand
how to even run a household, do a

335
00:21:21,540 –> 00:21:24,960
budget, and it caused a lot of problems.

336
00:21:24,960 –> 00:21:32,610
So we’ve been diligently working
on educating her in case I go.

337
00:21:32,774 –> 00:21:37,470
I, I want her secure and to
know how to make it in life

338
00:21:37,740 –> 00:21:40,860
without being so vulnerable.

339
00:21:40,860 –> 00:21:48,195
She’s gonna be vulnerable enough just
under the stress of, you know, the grief.

340
00:21:48,555 –> 00:21:55,200
And, and this, there’s so many other
situations that put women, and,

341
00:21:55,205 –> 00:22:01,065
and men, you know, we, we all live
life, but the vulnerable aspect here

342
00:22:01,095 –> 00:22:03,645
we’re highlighting is with women.

343
00:22:04,754 –> 00:22:11,235
And it, it is a critical issue in
our society and there needs to be

344
00:22:11,235 –> 00:22:14,835
more people addressing the issue.

345
00:22:14,865 –> 00:22:23,430
And a lot of nonprofits, when they start,
they have great intention and somehow

346
00:22:23,430 –> 00:22:29,310
they grow and they get bloated, and
then it’s all about administrative cost.

347
00:22:29,370 –> 00:22:38,465
And so keeping it smaller and like a
concierge service is exactly what we need.

348
00:22:38,465 –> 00:22:44,375
We need people that are like-minded
and caring about the individual instead

349
00:22:44,375 –> 00:22:51,750
of how to make the payroll for the
bloated nonprofit that they’ve built.

350
00:22:51,960 –> 00:22:59,010
So there, there are problems with all
of that, but there are great nonprofits

351
00:22:59,010 –> 00:23:00,930
out there doing the right thing.

352
00:23:00,990 –> 00:23:07,620
And really it’s about doing your homework
and educating yourself about the mission

353
00:23:07,860 –> 00:23:10,950
statement and what they’re providing.

354
00:23:10,950 –> 00:23:17,160
And then you can actually go deeper
into grabbing up financials and seeing

355
00:23:17,160 –> 00:23:20,490
where the money is being placed.

356
00:23:20,790 –> 00:23:25,620
So if, if you really wanna get serious
about helping, you have to find the

357
00:23:25,620 –> 00:23:32,970
people that are doing the right things in
the right ways so we can actually help.

358
00:23:33,179 –> 00:23:41,865
Because I, I feel that a lot of the
systematic approach to these problems

359
00:23:41,865 –> 00:23:50,565
have created a perpetual system driven
towards keeping the problem existing.

360
00:23:50,715 –> 00:23:56,715
The same with the medical industry
and so many others that we loop into.

361
00:23:56,925 –> 00:23:58,335
Well, they’re the experts.

362
00:23:58,365 –> 00:23:59,325
Let ’em do it.

363
00:23:59,445 –> 00:24:01,785
Just give them the money to do it.

364
00:24:03,075 –> 00:24:04,215
You have to be.

365
00:24:05,175 –> 00:24:05,445
Yeah.

366
00:24:05,460 –> 00:24:07,780
If it isn’t broken, don’t
fix it kind of system.

367
00:24:07,889 –> 00:24:08,180
Yeah.

368
00:24:09,465 –> 00:24:10,485
Exactly.

369
00:24:10,760 –> 00:24:15,615
You, you have to hold yourself
accountable where you are putting

370
00:24:15,615 –> 00:24:18,045
your time, effort, and money.

371
00:24:18,524 –> 00:24:24,014
And is it really what you expect
from your time, effort, and money?

372
00:24:24,345 –> 00:24:25,965
What do you think about all that?

373
00:24:27,580 –> 00:24:29,805
I, I think, uh, you
couldn’t be more spot on.

374
00:24:29,925 –> 00:24:34,560
Um, you know, and when I say to you
that we’re an evolving charity, um,

375
00:24:34,800 –> 00:24:41,220
we are evolving because I refuse to
really put, you know, put it to good use

376
00:24:41,280 –> 00:24:43,170
until I know exactly what we’re doing.

377
00:24:43,590 –> 00:24:45,240
I am not gonna waste resources.

378
00:24:45,240 –> 00:24:48,600
If somebody’s out there doing it,
then why would I reinvent the wheel?

379
00:24:48,990 –> 00:24:52,740
It is just me literally, and
I’m not even kidding about it.

380
00:24:52,770 –> 00:24:55,860
Um, I, you know, got, put
the board members together,

381
00:24:55,860 –> 00:24:57,240
but I’m the driving force.

382
00:24:57,270 –> 00:25:00,870
And I keep kind of trying
to mold it and where can we

383
00:25:00,870 –> 00:25:02,430
really make a difference here?

384
00:25:02,820 –> 00:25:05,340
And people are, you know, Well,
you have to start fundraising.

385
00:25:05,370 –> 00:25:08,130
And I keep telling them, I
will not fundraise until I know

386
00:25:08,130 –> 00:25:09,600
where those funds are going.

387
00:25:09,600 –> 00:25:11,370
And right now I don’t need them.

388
00:25:11,640 –> 00:25:15,090
Because right now what I need is
a plan, I need to make networks,

389
00:25:15,090 –> 00:25:16,290
I need to make connections.

390
00:25:16,650 –> 00:25:20,280
And I am under the belief that
the best, best way that I can help

391
00:25:20,280 –> 00:25:25,155
right now is through telling my
story, being out there, and making

392
00:25:25,155 –> 00:25:27,945
people aware and being available.

393
00:25:27,945 –> 00:25:32,025
If somebody calls me, I might not
be able to provide them with, you

394
00:25:32,025 –> 00:25:34,350
know, money per se, I might not.

395
00:25:34,350 –> 00:25:39,389
But personally, but I, I am that
person that believes if, if you do

396
00:25:39,389 –> 00:25:41,490
enough research, you will find it.

397
00:25:41,550 –> 00:25:44,520
Unfortunately, when you hit
crisis, you don’t have time to

398
00:25:44,520 –> 00:25:46,230
sit around and do the research.

399
00:25:46,620 –> 00:25:48,120
And it’s not easy to do.

400
00:25:48,360 –> 00:25:50,689
I mean, there are so many,
it’s like a scholarship.

401
00:25:50,789 –> 00:25:53,580
You know, you have to have this parameter,
you have to have that parameter.

402
00:25:53,580 –> 00:25:55,620
You either, you know, you
can’t make too much money.

403
00:25:55,620 –> 00:25:57,340
You have to be poverty level and

404
00:25:57,610 –> 00:25:58,999
do all these calculations.

405
00:25:59,015 –> 00:26:01,805
And, you know, all you’re doing
is like, Hey, I’m just trying to

406
00:26:01,805 –> 00:26:02,795
make it to the end of the day.

407
00:26:02,795 –> 00:26:04,175
I don’t have time for that.

408
00:26:04,445 –> 00:26:07,265
So you just move along and you,
you know, put it on a credit card

409
00:26:07,265 –> 00:26:11,495
and then the next thing you know,
you’re $150,000 in, in debt.

410
00:26:11,525 –> 00:26:12,905
And then where do you go?

411
00:26:12,935 –> 00:26:13,565
Okay, great.

412
00:26:13,565 –> 00:26:14,855
Guess what, I’m poor now.

413
00:26:14,885 –> 00:26:15,785
I have nothing.

414
00:26:16,205 –> 00:26:17,735
Oh, thanks for stepping in.

415
00:26:18,155 –> 00:26:19,985
So, you know, it is a cycle.

416
00:26:19,985 –> 00:26:24,005
and, you know, to go back to kind of what
you were saying before in like systematic

417
00:26:24,005 –> 00:26:29,534
and how we think about things, you know,
I think it’s so crazy that when star

418
00:26:29,534 –> 00:26:34,485
athletes, right, when they wanna join the
NBI or they wanna, everyone says to them,

419
00:26:34,695 –> 00:26:36,794
Okay, but you have to have a backup plan.

420
00:26:37,125 –> 00:26:38,655
You know, I know this is your dream.

421
00:26:38,655 –> 00:26:41,504
I know that you’re very good at
what you do, and I know where this

422
00:26:41,504 –> 00:26:44,085
is, this, your heart is at, but
you have to have a backup plan.

423
00:26:44,294 –> 00:26:48,215
We tell athletes that, but we don’t tell
stay at mom, uh, stay at home moms that.

424
00:26:48,314 –> 00:26:49,155
We don’t prepare them.

425
00:26:49,155 –> 00:26:51,465
We don’t say, all right, I know
that you’re in a great marriage

426
00:26:51,465 –> 00:26:54,074
right now and, you know, you’re
earning a whole bunch of money.

427
00:26:54,405 –> 00:26:57,680
You know, young people
don’t think about the end.

428
00:26:57,740 –> 00:27:00,345
You know, divorce, maybe
you never get to divorce.

429
00:27:00,425 –> 00:27:00,665
I never.

430
00:27:01,770 –> 00:27:03,149
Colin was the love of my life.

431
00:27:03,155 –> 00:27:05,310
I, I, I don’t believe we
would’ve ever gotten divorced.

432
00:27:05,310 –> 00:27:08,920
But he fell ill when we were
thirty-three years old with four kids.

433
00:27:08,920 –> 00:27:11,529
I was not, he was a bordered
down on the board of, or trader

434
00:27:11,550 –> 00:27:12,510
down on the board of trade.

435
00:27:12,870 –> 00:27:14,939
I was not expecting him to fall ill.

436
00:27:15,149 –> 00:27:16,679
We did not have savings.

437
00:27:16,679 –> 00:27:18,659
We were in our thirties, you know?

438
00:27:18,659 –> 00:27:21,990
Luckily, we had a great community
around us that stepped up to help.

439
00:27:22,500 –> 00:27:24,810
But I was a very fortunate person.

440
00:27:24,810 –> 00:27:29,170
And if I did not have that community, if
I had not grown up in that hometown, if

441
00:27:29,170 –> 00:27:33,160
I did not have family, you know, I don’t,
I don’t know where we would’ve been.

442
00:27:33,250 –> 00:27:37,180
And I, you know, I, I made a video last
night that I put out there, because

443
00:27:37,180 –> 00:27:39,700
again, uh, our charity is just evolving.

444
00:27:39,700 –> 00:27:41,230
I’m trying to figure out where I’m at.

445
00:27:41,260 –> 00:27:46,510
And I said that, you know, It’s kind of
odd when people say, Why is it the CJB,

446
00:27:46,720 –> 00:27:48,790
you know, Outreach because it’s for women.

447
00:27:48,850 –> 00:27:50,350
You know, the Colin James Barth.

448
00:27:50,770 –> 00:27:57,075
And I believe that there’s no greater way
to honor him than to take care of women

449
00:27:57,075 –> 00:27:59,085
because that’s what he wanted to do.

450
00:27:59,085 –> 00:28:03,495
He would’ve, he was so sad that he
couldn’t take care of his family, of

451
00:28:03,495 –> 00:28:07,545
his wife, put us in a situation of
crisis, although he didn’t put us there.

452
00:28:07,725 –> 00:28:10,755
And to know that his name is, you
know, the name that we’re using

453
00:28:11,025 –> 00:28:14,445
to try and find a way to protect
families, protect women, to make it

454
00:28:14,445 –> 00:28:16,215
easier for them when he couldn’t.

455
00:28:16,380 –> 00:28:20,145
I, I would hope I, I, I know that
he would be very honored by that.

456
00:28:21,675 –> 00:28:25,365
Yeah, I, I’m definitely sure he is.

457
00:28:25,665 –> 00:28:32,055
And, you know, that, that takes
a strong mentality and it takes

458
00:28:32,145 –> 00:28:38,005
strength to step up against this,
whatever it is we’re living in.

459
00:28:39,090 –> 00:28:41,850
And it gets confusing at times.

460
00:28:42,390 –> 00:28:48,270
So being a single mother,
it, it’s difficult.

461
00:28:48,690 –> 00:28:56,460
And what you’re doing is going to help
a lot of, especially young women, they,

462
00:28:57,690 –> 00:29:08,190
they get emotional when things go wrong a
lot of the times and then they feel lost.

463
00:29:08,420 –> 00:29:17,295
And if, if you’re more emotionally
stabilized during that hard time in

464
00:29:17,295 –> 00:29:22,815
your life by somebody that can just
step up and say, Hey, I’m here for you.

465
00:29:23,415 –> 00:29:29,145
It, it doesn’t necessarily have to
be money and that’s the big thing.

466
00:29:29,835 –> 00:29:34,155
Our, our time is that
value, is that not correct?

467
00:29:35,250 –> 00:29:35,550
Yeah.

468
00:29:35,550 –> 00:29:38,820
And I think as women, you know,
we are pretty much taught to

469
00:29:38,820 –> 00:29:40,380
dig in your heels, get it done.

470
00:29:40,440 –> 00:29:42,840
You know, like no one’s
going to get it done for you.

471
00:29:42,840 –> 00:29:46,320
We’re, we’re taught very early, here’s
what you have to do, get it done.

472
00:29:46,320 –> 00:29:51,570
So when, when you’re emotionally, as you
said, distraught, you’ve got children

473
00:29:51,570 –> 00:29:56,429
looking to you, you’ve got all these
things going on, it’s very hard to roll

474
00:29:56,429 –> 00:29:58,979
back, make a list and check it off.

475
00:29:59,070 –> 00:30:00,719
You know, you’re just in crisis mode.

476
00:30:00,719 –> 00:30:02,159
You’re just going, going, going.

477
00:30:02,399 –> 00:30:06,330
But if someone comes to you and
says, All right, today, I need you

478
00:30:06,330 –> 00:30:08,850
to call the Social Security Office,
I need you to fill out this form.

479
00:30:08,850 –> 00:30:11,129
I need you to, we’re gonna
get you a financial planner.

480
00:30:11,489 –> 00:30:15,825
You need to take, if someone gives
you the steps, you get it done.

481
00:30:15,975 –> 00:30:18,885
Because you’re like, Okay, now
I know what, and it gives you a

482
00:30:18,885 –> 00:30:20,715
sense of control in the situation.

483
00:30:20,715 –> 00:30:23,655
Like, okay, I can’t control
that my husband has cancer.

484
00:30:23,955 –> 00:30:26,535
I can’t control that my
daughter has special needs.

485
00:30:26,745 –> 00:30:31,725
But I can control, you know, when Tatum
was in the hospital and I was, you know,

486
00:30:31,875 –> 00:30:36,405
just thirty, um, I, I couldn’t get her
outta the hospital because she had a

487
00:30:36,405 –> 00:30:38,475
trach and I couldn’t get state aid.

488
00:30:38,655 –> 00:30:42,375
And my insurance company was telling
me it’s not a medical necessity

489
00:30:42,375 –> 00:30:44,775
to have a nurse, but that hospital
was telling me you can’t get

490
00:30:44,775 –> 00:30:46,215
her out until you have a nurse.

491
00:30:46,605 –> 00:30:50,700
So I ended up on the news and I was
like, and I was going after the insurance

492
00:30:50,700 –> 00:30:53,970
company ’cause I was like, How can they
say this is not medically necessary?

493
00:30:54,390 –> 00:30:55,620
Well, of course, you know they do.

494
00:30:55,620 –> 00:30:58,440
This whole, um, it was in Chicago.

495
00:30:58,440 –> 00:31:01,140
It was a big deal to me,
maybe not to anybody else.

496
00:31:01,140 –> 00:31:04,320
But we went after Blue Cross/Blue
Shield and nothing happened.

497
00:31:04,350 –> 00:31:07,920
You know, she came home, I got her
home through the grace of God and, you

498
00:31:07,920 –> 00:31:11,550
know, a, a great little organization
that I found in, in Chicago.

499
00:31:11,950 –> 00:31:15,185
But I did talk to someone several
months later, someone set me up with

500
00:31:15,185 –> 00:31:16,775
her because her son had a trach.

501
00:31:16,805 –> 00:31:19,235
And I remember saying to her,
Okay, I know that he is only

502
00:31:19,235 –> 00:31:20,645
like three weeks old right now.

503
00:31:20,645 –> 00:31:24,065
You have to get in, you have
to go to this, you know,

504
00:31:24,155 –> 00:31:25,355
needs for special children.

505
00:31:25,685 –> 00:31:28,115
And she said, Oh no, we, we
don’t have to worry about that.

506
00:31:28,115 –> 00:31:31,865
She’s like, some woman was on the
news about, you know, six months ago

507
00:31:31,895 –> 00:31:34,805
going after the insurance company
and they’ve changed the policy

508
00:31:34,805 –> 00:31:36,185
now where if a baby has a trach.

509
00:31:36,215 –> 00:31:38,760
And I was like, That is the
universe, you know, like.

510
00:31:39,210 –> 00:31:43,290
And ever since that moment I remember
saying, Okay, maybe this, and if

511
00:31:43,290 –> 00:31:47,580
we could all think like this, maybe
that is not going to benefit me like

512
00:31:47,985 –> 00:31:51,685
right now, me, you know, fostering
other women who are going through

513
00:31:51,705 –> 00:31:53,715
crisis, that might not benefit me.

514
00:31:53,715 –> 00:31:55,845
I might not make a living out of doing it.

515
00:31:55,845 –> 00:32:00,195
I might not become CEO, like you
said, of a huge corporation, and

516
00:32:00,195 –> 00:32:02,145
run it and pay myself a good salary.

517
00:32:02,445 –> 00:32:06,495
But, you know, if I can make a difference
in someone else’s world to make their

518
00:32:06,495 –> 00:32:10,395
load lighter and it doesn’t, you
know, it will add to my life because

519
00:32:10,395 –> 00:32:11,985
I know that I’m purpose driven.

520
00:32:11,985 –> 00:32:14,445
I know that I’m making something
positive outta something that

521
00:32:14,475 –> 00:32:15,915
was really hard to go through.

522
00:32:16,305 –> 00:32:19,665
Then if we could all be a little bit
more like that, then we wouldn’t have

523
00:32:19,665 –> 00:32:22,725
to go through all these hurdles all
the time with, you know, whether that’s

524
00:32:22,725 –> 00:32:24,855
bureaucracy or systematic, whatever.

525
00:32:25,095 –> 00:32:28,425
You know, if some person just stands
up and says, you know, This isn’t

526
00:32:28,425 –> 00:32:31,515
right, this is not the way it should
be, and I’m going to do what I can

527
00:32:31,515 –> 00:32:35,325
to change it, I, I, I can’t imagine
how quickly the world would change.

528
00:32:35,325 –> 00:32:39,205
Just one, one person every day saying,
You know, this doesn’t work for me.

529
00:32:39,205 –> 00:32:40,555
I’m gonna find a better system.

530
00:32:40,585 –> 00:32:43,075
I’m gonna find a better way,
and I’m gonna resist against it.

531
00:32:43,075 –> 00:32:45,835
And if you don’t like me, ’cause
that’s gonna be a thing, you know,

532
00:32:45,835 –> 00:32:48,715
I’m gonna be a burning feminist,
or I’m gonna, you know, be a man

533
00:32:48,715 –> 00:32:50,754
hater, whatever it is, I don’t care.

534
00:32:51,655 –> 00:32:57,045
Like I care more about what,
what, really, I’m here, what

535
00:32:57,045 –> 00:32:58,485
my purpose here is on earth.

536
00:32:58,485 –> 00:33:00,915
And I believe that’s why
I’ve been through all this.

537
00:33:00,915 –> 00:33:04,575
And I’m listening to what
my soul is telling me, and

538
00:33:04,575 –> 00:33:05,715
this is what it’s telling me.

539
00:33:05,715 –> 00:33:09,225
Just like it did when I got on the
news to fight for Tatum’s trach and

540
00:33:09,225 –> 00:33:10,425
getting her out of the hospital.

541
00:33:11,534 –> 00:33:13,665
I like that spirit a lot, Julie.

542
00:33:13,935 –> 00:33:21,435
You know, currently right now, we,
we have been fighting this system.

543
00:33:21,735 –> 00:33:28,390
And I’ve been working with my
local Congress representative.

544
00:33:28,540 –> 00:33:36,660
And just yesterday, I, I had an
extreme long day, but the wins

545
00:33:36,760 –> 00:33:40,390
just went boom, boom, boom, boom.

546
00:33:40,780 –> 00:33:47,710
Because I had the strength to
just say, No, this is not right.

547
00:33:47,710 –> 00:33:52,300
You’re not going to do this, and
I’ll take it to the next level.

548
00:33:52,860 –> 00:34:00,870
And it took six months, well, actually
nine months, but it’s resolved.

549
00:34:01,050 –> 00:34:08,370
And if, if you let the system grind you,
it’s gonna grind the next person, and

550
00:34:08,370 –> 00:34:10,650
the next person, and the next person.

551
00:34:11,190 –> 00:34:19,515
So, myself, they wanted to close my
congressional folder, this case is closed.

552
00:34:19,545 –> 00:34:22,155
I told them, No, I’m not done yet.

553
00:34:22,635 –> 00:34:27,795
Keep that case open because I
have a lot more to say and a

554
00:34:27,795 –> 00:34:30,585
lot more to do about this issue.

555
00:34:31,275 –> 00:34:38,505
And now after that stacked up
win, that was enough to fuel

556
00:34:38,505 –> 00:34:41,505
my next stage of development.

557
00:34:42,255 –> 00:34:49,134
Because after so many losses
and you get just a single win,

558
00:34:49,134 –> 00:34:52,114
it’s ah, this great feeling.

559
00:34:52,504 –> 00:34:58,155
But when you get four and five stacked
one right on top of the other, that

560
00:34:58,155 –> 00:35:02,115
makes you feel like King Kong and
you wanna go for the next round.

561
00:35:02,595 –> 00:35:12,240
And really that’s what these broken people
that need help can feel like, and it’s

562
00:35:12,240 –> 00:35:14,970
because of people that care like you.

563
00:35:15,720 –> 00:35:21,720
So is there anything that you’d
like to add to our conversation

564
00:35:21,810 –> 00:35:24,480
that we haven’t spoke about today?

565
00:35:25,590 –> 00:35:27,930
Um, I don’t think so.

566
00:35:27,930 –> 00:35:31,629
I mean, I just think it’s, um, you
know, I’ve never been a feminist

567
00:35:31,629 –> 00:35:35,850
and sometimes I hear myself
talk and I’m like, Who is that?

568
00:35:35,850 –> 00:35:39,899
Because I always kind of felt like
nobody’s gonna keep me down, you know?

569
00:35:39,899 –> 00:35:42,359
And I grew up, you know, I
grew up in the seventies.

570
00:35:42,359 –> 00:35:47,520
I, generation X is the first generation of
women who were taught that you can do it

571
00:35:47,520 –> 00:35:49,710
all, you can work and you can be at home.

572
00:35:49,890 –> 00:35:52,589
And it sounded like a great
idea, I’m sure at the time.

573
00:35:52,980 –> 00:35:55,859
But you know, we were the first
generation that it was like, what do you

574
00:35:55,859 –> 00:35:57,270
mean you don’t work out of the house?

575
00:35:57,270 –> 00:35:59,069
What do you mean you’re
just focusing on your kids?

576
00:35:59,069 –> 00:36:00,540
And there was shame in being home.

577
00:36:01,050 –> 00:36:06,870
So, you know, I think that it’s a
societal, hopefully it’s, women should

578
00:36:06,870 –> 00:36:12,810
be able to do what women feel their
necessity is and where they feel they

579
00:36:12,810 –> 00:36:16,500
can provide the most, whether that’s
at home, whether that’s in a boardroom,

580
00:36:16,680 –> 00:36:18,750
there should be no shame on either side.

581
00:36:18,750 –> 00:36:22,230
And I just hope that the conversation
starts to change, where, you

582
00:36:22,230 –> 00:36:23,970
know, being at home is not lazy.

583
00:36:24,210 –> 00:36:26,060
Going to work is not neglectful.

584
00:36:26,390 –> 00:36:29,475
And women can just do what
they’re supposed to do in the

585
00:36:29,475 –> 00:36:31,335
world and nobody judges them.

586
00:36:31,395 –> 00:36:35,355
‘Cause I feel like we’re always
so incredibly judged and it,

587
00:36:35,415 –> 00:36:39,315
we, we judge ourselves more
harshly probably than anyone.

588
00:36:39,315 –> 00:36:41,565
And you know, that was my experiences.

589
00:36:42,165 –> 00:36:47,025
You know, everything I went through,
you know, leaving my family, and I, I, I

590
00:36:47,025 –> 00:36:48,555
thought my friends didn’t like me anymore.

591
00:36:48,555 –> 00:36:49,995
I thought that they were judging me.

592
00:36:49,995 –> 00:36:55,125
I thought, but to be quite honest,
no one was judging me half as

593
00:36:55,125 –> 00:36:57,645
hardly as, as I was judging myself.

594
00:36:58,125 –> 00:37:01,695
So that’s another part of my
mission is, like, women, yes,

595
00:37:01,695 –> 00:37:02,925
of course we can do it all.

596
00:37:02,985 –> 00:37:08,025
We are strong, we are independent, we are
smart, but we shouldn’t have to do it all.

597
00:37:08,055 –> 00:37:10,365
And we shouldn’t have to feel
like we have to do it all.

598
00:37:10,365 –> 00:37:14,625
So yes, when you start talking
about asking for help, it’s a

599
00:37:14,625 –> 00:37:16,665
very hard thing for a woman to do.

600
00:37:16,665 –> 00:37:20,055
And I know I’m making a generalization,
but I’ve talked to enough women,

601
00:37:20,265 –> 00:37:25,185
especially in these situations where it is
hard to ask for help, but it shouldn’t be.

602
00:37:25,455 –> 00:37:31,135
Because when people ask me for help and
I’m able to help them, that not only makes

603
00:37:31,135 –> 00:37:33,090
them feel good, it makes me feel good.

604
00:37:33,090 –> 00:37:34,230
It makes me feel fulfilled.

605
00:37:34,230 –> 00:37:37,650
When you talk about these wins
that, you know, you’ve had, when I,

606
00:37:37,710 –> 00:37:41,490
when someone reaches out to me and
says, and people I know, you know,

607
00:37:41,490 –> 00:37:44,520
I didn’t know this was going on with
you, it’s going on in my home too.

608
00:37:44,790 –> 00:37:46,260
Like, that feeds me.

609
00:37:46,320 –> 00:37:48,960
That, that heals me, It heals them.

610
00:37:49,050 –> 00:37:52,590
And then we can, you know, two
are much stronger than one.

611
00:37:52,830 –> 00:37:56,550
Three are much, you know, and the
more you can join with people to

612
00:37:56,550 –> 00:38:00,300
do the right thing, it’s so much
easier than doing the wrong thing.

613
00:38:01,260 –> 00:38:03,990
You know, a lot of people waste a
lot of energy doing the wrong thing.

614
00:38:04,620 –> 00:38:07,110
It takes a lot less energy
to just do the right thing.

615
00:38:07,320 –> 00:38:07,620
Yeah.

616
00:38:09,740 –> 00:38:16,230
Well, it, it’s like a cornucopia
basket, it takes a lot of different

617
00:38:16,230 –> 00:38:21,825
things to go inside that basket
to make it look and feel right.

618
00:38:22,424 –> 00:38:27,015
And that’s what we are as a
society, and we forgot about that.

619
00:38:27,314 –> 00:38:31,935
It’s okay to be you, and especially women.

620
00:38:32,415 –> 00:38:38,924
You know, I, I wanna just say it’s
not a competition against men.

621
00:38:38,924 –> 00:38:45,420
And men if you are feeling that it’s a
competition, you need to check yourself.

622
00:38:45,930 –> 00:38:53,220
We, we should be supportive of each
other and be happy when those wins

623
00:38:53,220 –> 00:38:58,140
come for somebody else, because
you’ll get those wins yourself.

624
00:38:58,650 –> 00:39:02,370
Just play your part and do your thing.

625
00:39:02,759 –> 00:39:10,470
And most of all, I really feel that
everyone has a purpose and a place.

626
00:39:10,890 –> 00:39:15,330
Don’t be ashamed to find
out who and what you are.

627
00:39:16,080 –> 00:39:23,070
Because there’s some intelligent women
that could change our world and we need

628
00:39:23,070 –> 00:39:27,570
them to be bold and brave about it.

629
00:39:27,810 –> 00:39:32,700
So I encourage that, I,
I think it’s much needed.

630
00:39:32,700 –> 00:39:37,685
Because what women are being told
they are, I can guarantee it’s not.

631
00:39:39,040 –> 00:39:44,685
And, and we really need to take,
take a hold of that as a society.

632
00:39:45,915 –> 00:39:46,395
So,

633
00:39:48,524 –> 00:39:48,855
Yeah.

634
00:39:48,855 –> 00:39:55,290
And, and you wanna say that I have two
boys and they’re amazing and I’ve seen

635
00:39:55,290 –> 00:39:59,250
them go through some hardships as males
that I would not wanna conquer either.

636
00:39:59,250 –> 00:40:02,520
So I am, I would, it is not a comparison.

637
00:40:02,520 –> 00:40:06,420
And men have a whole host
of other systematic issues

638
00:40:06,420 –> 00:40:08,190
that are hardships as well.

639
00:40:08,190 –> 00:40:10,200
So I’m not excluding anyone.

640
00:40:10,200 –> 00:40:16,260
I just know my experiences can be better
used to help people that are in my shoes,

641
00:40:16,260 –> 00:40:17,790
and I’ve never been in a man’s shoes.

642
00:40:17,790 –> 00:40:20,700
But to be honest, I, I don’t want to be.

643
00:40:21,660 –> 00:40:24,600
Not in a bad way, but we
all have our hardships.

644
00:40:24,600 –> 00:40:27,210
So I’m glad that you spoke to
that because I’m definitely

645
00:40:27,210 –> 00:40:30,360
not alienating the hardships or
challenges that men face either.

646
00:40:32,430 –> 00:40:32,850
Right.

647
00:40:32,970 –> 00:40:33,360
Yeah.

648
00:40:33,360 –> 00:40:38,444
You know, and it’s, it’s good to
know where our strengths and our

649
00:40:38,444 –> 00:40:43,714
weaknesses are, and that, that will
prevent a lot of those divisions.

650
00:40:44,495 –> 00:40:49,335
So Julie, I could speak with
you for hours about this.

651
00:40:49,335 –> 00:40:50,985
You’re doing wonderful things.

652
00:40:51,615 –> 00:40:56,865
How can people get in touch with you,
work with you, and also do you have

653
00:40:56,865 –> 00:40:58,875
a call to action for our listeners?

654
00:41:00,195 –> 00:41:00,480
I do.

655
00:41:00,480 –> 00:41:05,280
So if you go to my
website@juliebarthauthor.net,

656
00:41:05,700 –> 00:41:10,620
um, I have different tabs for our
charity, which is the CJB Outreach.

657
00:41:10,830 –> 00:41:13,890
Um, you can also go to
the cjboutreach.org.

658
00:41:14,130 –> 00:41:18,540
But again, if you go to
juliebarthauthor.net, it has all of the

659
00:41:18,540 –> 00:41:21,090
different things that you can access.

660
00:41:21,330 –> 00:41:24,300
You can get involved, you can reach
out to me and I’m the one manning it,

661
00:41:24,330 –> 00:41:26,070
again, I’m a one man team right now.

662
00:41:26,070 –> 00:41:30,210
So if you need help, again, I don’t know
if I can provide you the exact resources

663
00:41:30,210 –> 00:41:32,040
myself, but I will find out who can.

664
00:41:32,040 –> 00:41:33,180
And that’s my job.

665
00:41:33,720 –> 00:41:37,710
Um, the other thing is that my daughter,
the one that’s special needs, she sells

666
00:41:37,710 –> 00:41:42,240
her art online and the proceeds from
her art go to fuel the CJB outreach.

667
00:41:42,240 –> 00:41:45,779
So if you see something you like,
um, you know, you can put it on

668
00:41:45,779 –> 00:41:47,669
any t-shirt or, you know, whatever.

669
00:41:48,060 –> 00:41:51,180
Uh, so if you’d like to support
us, there are many ways you can.

670
00:41:51,180 –> 00:41:53,339
And again, if you need
help, do not hesitate.

671
00:41:53,339 –> 00:41:54,450
Please reach out to us.

672
00:41:55,649 –> 00:41:57,930
It’s been a pleasure
speaking with you, Julie.

673
00:41:57,930 –> 00:42:01,410
And I wanna say one more time,
thank you for what you’re doing.

674
00:42:02,100 –> 00:42:02,700
Well, thank you.

675
00:42:02,700 –> 00:42:06,970
Thank you for having me.

676
00:42:07,095 –> 00:42:08,775
Thank you for joining us today.

677
00:42:09,435 –> 00:42:15,645
If you found this podcast enlightening,
entertaining, educational in any way,

678
00:42:16,425 –> 00:42:22,845
please share, like, subscribe, and join
us right back here next week for another

679
00:42:22,845 –> 00:42:26,235
great episode of the Dead America Podcast.

680
00:42:26,535 –> 00:42:32,030
I’m Ed Watters, your host, enjoy
your afternoon wherever you might be.