
Achieving Next-Level Success
In%20this%20episode%20of%20Dead%20America%2C%20we%20dive%20deep%20into%20the%20world%20of%20personal%20development%20with%20Alan%20Lazaros%2C%20CEO%20of%20Next%20Level%20University.%20Alan%20shares%20his%20transformative%20journey%20from%20dealing%20with%20childhood%20adversity%20and%20a%20near-fatal%20car%20accident%20to%20becoming%20a%20successful%20speaker%2C%20podcaster%2C%20and%20business%20coach.%20He%20discusses%20the%20importance%20of%20self-education%2C%20reflection%2C%20and%20the%20’success%20loop’%20framework%20he%20uses%20to%20help%20people%20achieve%20their%20potential.%20Alan%20also%20opens%20up%20about%20his%20struggles%20with%20alcohol%2C%20his%20structured%20daily%20routine%2C%20his%20perspective%20on%20life’s%20challenges%2C%20and%20the%20critical%20nature%20of%20taking%20personal%20responsibility.%20Join%20us%20for%20this%20inspiring%20conversation%20packed%20with%20actionable%20insights%20on%20personal%20growth%20and%20achievement.%0A%0A00%3A00%20Introduction%20to%20Overcoming%20Challenges%0A00%3A55%20Meet%20Alan%20Lazaros%3A%20CEO%20and%20Business%20Coach%0A02%3A45%20Defining%20Success%20and%20Personal%20Growth%0A04%3A32%20The%20Success%20Loop%20and%20Reflection%0A08%3A05%20Overcoming%20Personal%20Struggles%0A11%3A05%20The%20Three%20Circles%20of%20Ego%0A13%3A19%20Journey%20of%20Podcasting%20and%20Personal%20Development%0A22%3A40%20Future%20Goals%20and%20Coaching%20Strategies%0A24%3A15%20The%20Power%20of%20Identity%20in%20Achieving%20Goals%0A25%3A57%20Building%20Habits%20and%20Tracking%20Progress%0A27%3A55%20Structuring%20Your%20Day%20for%20Success%0A30%3A50%20Balancing%20Work%20and%20Personal%20Life%0A33%3A00%20Overcoming%20Adversity%20and%20Self-Belief%0A38%3A52%20Taking%20Responsibility%20for%20Your%20Life%0A42%3A41%20Conclusion%20and%20Final%20Thoughts
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~~ ~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~ Ed Watters: To overcome, you must educate.
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Educate not only yourself, but
educate anyone seeking to learn.
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We are all Dead America,
we can all learn something.
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To learn, we must challenge
what we already understand.
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The way we do that is
through conversation.
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Sometimes we have conversations with
others, however, some of the best
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conversations happen with ourselves.
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Reach out and challenge yourself; let’s
dive in and learn something new right now.
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Today, we are speaking with Alan Lazaros.
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He is the CEO of Next Level
University, he is a speaker, a
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podcaster, and a business coach.
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Alan, could you please introduce yourself?
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Let people know just a little
more about you, please.
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Alan Lazaros: Okay, so first and
foremost, gratitude first, always.
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Thank you for having me, I appreciate it.
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I started listening to podcasts nine
years ago, and they really helped me
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sort of reorient my life in a much
more constructive, transformative,
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as we’ll talk about direction.
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And, uh, as for a little bit more
about myself, I’m a computer engineer
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who has his master’s in business, who
had a lot of adversity growing up.
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I lost my father, uh, he passed away
in a car accident when I was two.
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I had a stepfather from age
three to fourteen, my stepfather
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left my family at fourteen.
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And then I sort of bootstrapped
my way to trying to achieve
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many, many goals and dreams.
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Then I had my own car accident at
twenty-six that really had me face
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mortality in a really meaningful way.
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But that was my big transformational
moment where after that I went all
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in on self improvement, I turned my
passion into purpose, into profit.
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And now I have a business that,
essentially I lead a twenty-one person
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team now at Next Level University.
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It’s a podcast, but it’s also a business.
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And we help people who have, no matter
how hard your past has been, no matter how
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hard your present is, you always have a
next level and you have a spotless future.
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And so you can take more personal
responsibility right now and
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you can improve yourself.
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And the only way your life
improves is if you improve.
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And so that’s really what I’ve built
my, not only career, but my life around.
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Ed Watters: Well, I sure do want to
take the time to commend you and Kevin.
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Both do excellent work as
podcasters and the content that
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you provide, it’s priceless.
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So I want to start here, What
do you define as success, Alan?
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Alan Lazaros: So that’s
actually the, the question.
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And thank you for the compliment
about Kevin and I’s work,
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I really appreciate it.
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It’s the most meaningful
work in the world.
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So how do we define success?
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So my job as a business
coach, I have twenty-eight
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people on my roster right now.
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The youngest is sixteen, wants
to start a YouTube channel.
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The oldest is 63, been in business
for decades, wants to grow and scale.
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All different walks of life, all
different countries, all different
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backgrounds, all different industries,
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so it’s been fascinating.
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But what I think matters most is,
success looks different for all of us.
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To me, specifically just me, my
unique version of success, I have
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it written in the corner of my
office, it’s on a whiteboard.
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It says, You are here to maximize
your own unique potential and
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to help others do the same,
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everything else is secondary.
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And so for me, success is number
one, reaching my potential,
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my own unique potential.
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And number two, helping
other people do the same.
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And of course, profitability and
quality of life, and being in love
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and healthy, wealthy and in love.
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But ultimately my main mission, my
main purpose, my main focus, my main
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calling is reaching my potential
and helping others do the same.
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Ed Watters: Yeah, that’s,
that’s a good definition.
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Uh, a lot of people, they seek success,
but they don’t like to reflect.
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And I really feel that reflection about
where we came from is truly important
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to reach the ultimate level of success.
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What’s your take on reflection
of where you’ve been?
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Alan Lazaros: We have this thing
called the success loop and it’s five
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steps and it’s simple but powerful.
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The first one is believe.
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So you believe in a person,
place, thing, or idea.
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Second one is implement.
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You do something, you take some action.
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The third is reflect.
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And you mentioned reflection.
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So after you implement something,
you have to review and reflect,
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even this podcast episode.
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So when you send me this, when it
launches, you know, I’ll review it
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and I’ll reflect on our conversation
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and hopefully I’ll learn something.
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So number four is learn.
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And then number five is improve.
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And it has to be in that order
because if you don’t reflect and
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learn, you’re not going to improve.
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A lot of people don’t
stumble upon improvements.
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And then you go right back,
if you improve, hopefully
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you go right back to believe.
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Which is, now you believe
in yourself even more.
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Now you believe in your abilities
even more, that’s the success loop.
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The, the doom loop is the, the
one that you gotta be careful of.
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And in my coaching, this is
essentially, I just try to keep
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people out of the doom loop.
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The doom loop is, I don’t believe in
something, so I don’t take action,
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so I don’t get results, which
makes me believe in it even less.
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And that can be such a
vicious downward spiral.
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And so the success loop is the
opposite, which is believe in it,
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implement it, reflect on it, learn
from it, improve it, rock and
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roll momentum, momentum, momentum.
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And so, and just stay humble because if
you don’t stay humble, a lot of times
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you’ll, you’ll get hubris, you’ll get
cocky, you’ll get arrogant, and then
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you’ll stop doing the reflection, to
your point of what reflection means,
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you’ll stop doing the reflection.
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If you don’t, if you lose your
humility, you’ll stop reflecting.
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And if you stop reflecting,
you’ll stop learning.
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And if you stop learning, you mentioned
your listeners are lifelong learners.
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And if you aren’t a lifelong
learner, who’s reflecting and
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learning and contemplating, you’re
probably on your way to a downward
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spiral, even if you don’t know it,
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Ed Watters: That’s right.
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You know, and bargain basement have,
the, it doesn’t really have a meaning
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until you have hit rock bottom basement.
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And I’ve been there quite
a few times in my life.
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I’m close to fifty-nine looking at
that sixty mark now, and I reflect
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back often to Why am I here today?
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Why am I podcasting?
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Why am I talking to Alan?
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And that journey of transformation
for me was outstanding.
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It was hard, it was difficult.
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I went through drug abuse,
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I went through alcohol abuse.
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My marriage was tanked so many
times because of my decisions.
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And I reflect back on the
choices that I make often.
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Choices are a big part of that
transformation and if we don’t
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surround ourselves with the people
that help us make the proper choices
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and hold us accountable, life really
is going to be in that bargain
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basement we, we just mentioned.
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So what is the best way to really
climb out from that desperate
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need for whatever it might be?
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Because I know you’ve been there also.
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Alan Lazaros: Yeah, thank you.
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So thank you for, uh, that
question because I have been there.
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So I used to, pre car accidents.
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My car accident was at twenty-six, pre car
accident, I drank too much and too often.
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I had high school friends and college
friends and corporate friends.
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And the company I worked for was
called Cognex and they used to, their
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slogan was Work hard, play hard.
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And I used to say, Work hard, play harder.
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And I’ve, I’ve definitely been in that
loop of, how do I have as much fun as
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possible, alcohol, drugs for a short time.
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I, I have been to a place where I had
very low self esteem when it came to that.
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And I, I remember, I don’t struggle a
ton with self doubt, I never really have.
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But I remember when I was trying to
quit drinking, I remember thinking, Am
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I actually going to be able to do this?
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Which for me is very weird, and I just
want to be honest and transparent.
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I think a lot of people listening can
probably tell that I’m not someone who
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struggles with a ton of self doubt,
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but I did with this.
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And I knew I could do it, I knew people
do it, but it was definitely one of
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those moments of, Am I seriously not
going to drink at my own wedding?
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Drinking alcohol was so ubiquitous,
so commonplace where I grew up.
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Where I grew up, it was so normal
to drink alcohol and to have alcohol
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be a part of every social gathering.
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And it took me, I playfully joke, I say
it took me five years to quit drinking.
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I would, I would quit for a while and
then I’d go to a wedding and, uh, the
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social anxiety would come up and it’d
be open bar and then one would turn
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into two, two into four, four into
eight, and it would be off to the races.
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But so I haven’t drank now,
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I used to count the days, I stopped
counting the days when I felt free of it.
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Uh, I want to say my last, I know my
last drink was in the summer of 2019.
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So that means I’m coming up on five
years, I’m, I’m actually past five years.
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That’s, that’s awesome,
uh, yeah, thank you.
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So that’s cool.
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But yeah, so I’ve been there
and that’s the doom loop.
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I doubt myself therefore I don’t
take action and therefore I
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don’t get results, which then
makes me doubt myself even more.
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And, and, or you try to quit
and then you fail and then that
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makes you feel even worse, which
makes you want to do the thing.
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And so you got to be
careful, the doom loop.
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The doom loop is, I don’t
feel good about myself
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so I surround myself with other people
who don’t feel good about themselves.
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I feel like a failure so I numb it with
alcohol or drugs or escape or whatever
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addiction, all the vices, right?
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You, you’ve got gambling, you’ve
got, uh, pornography, you’ve got, uh,
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drugs, you’ve got alcohol, all the
things that feel good in the moment,
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but are not what’s best for you.
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So after my car accident at twenty-six,
I flipped the script and I really looked
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in the metaphorical mirror and I really,
more than anything, I just got humble.
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I got really humbled.
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I have this really cool framework
that I call the three circles of
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the ego, and I think all human
beings have all three, but, but the
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size is different and I’ll explain.
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So the outer circle is what
you want others to believe
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you are, that’s your persona.
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That’s what you post on social
media, everyone does it.
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The next inner circle is what you want
to believe you are, meaning the stories
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you tell yourself about yourself.
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And then the last, the last circle,
the inner circle, this is the
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important one, is who you really are.
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This is who and what you really
are when no one’s watching.
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After that car accident, all
three circles became the same.
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And I’ve been working really hard
for the last nine, almost ten
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years now, since twenty-six, I’m
almost thirty-six in November, to
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keep those three circles the same.
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I want who I want others to believe
I am, who I want to believe I am, and
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who I really am to all be the same.
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And that, I, I always say the
distance between circle three and
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circle one is the size of your ego.
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And if you haven’t been humbled yet,
life is going to come and smack you down.
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And that’s the metaphorical Phoenix, burn
down ego, death, rise anew from the ashes.
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So for me, it was my car accident
and I work really hard to try
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to stay in the truth and try
not to kid myself about myself.
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And when you do that, here’s the cool
thing, if you are delusional, I call
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it delulu, and you tell yourself lies,
and then you, you know, put on this
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persona, you pretend to be fulfilled
when you’re not, what happens is you,
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you’re like a GPS with inaccurate data.
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You’re like a self driving car that
has low self awareness, meaning an
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inaccurate current location, and
inaccurate destination address, and,
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and inaccurate data on the terrain.
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So you keep driving off a cliff and then
not knowing why, when in reality you just
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don’t see yourself, others in the world
accurately, because you don’t want to
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face unpleasant truths about yourself.
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And I think that all of us, whether
it’s divorce, or a car accident, or
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mortality, or the death of a loved
one, or the death of a pet, or whatever
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gets you that humble pie, you’ve
got to eat humble pie proactively.
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Because otherwise you’re going
to have to eat it all at once
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and that’s, uh, really traumatic.
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Ed Watters: Yeah, being
authentic is very important.
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And, you know, uh, I went all the way back
to number twenty-five of your episodes.
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I was trying to get to number
one, but I couldn’t find it.
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I’m gonna keep finding, searching.
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But, you know, that, that natural
ability to be a podcaster in this
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case, uh, you, you guys really
tend to be natural at it and that,
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that comes from confidence, really.
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I, I really believe that’s confidence
that drives that ability to step
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up to this microphone, this camera,
and really share your innermost
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secrets, desires, and feelings to
the world, this is very difficult.
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I know this firsthand.
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I’m here with you.
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How did you acquire the skills so young?
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To become what you are now.
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Alan Lazaros: Yeah, thank you for that.
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Again, I really, I mean, my goodness.
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The fact that you went all the way
to episode twenty-five is wild to me.
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Uh, I would say we’ve
improved, we’ve improved a lot.
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Um, we’ve improved a lot.
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But I do feel like Kevin and I, we
coach a lot of podcasters, we produce
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fifty podcasts, including three of my
own and, technically two of my own,
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because one of them is kind of on pause.
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But the point is, is we didn’t know
we were good, it’s almost like we
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didn’t think we were that good,
but we kind of thought we might be
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good while also thinking we kind of
suck so that we could get better.
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It was all of that kind of all at once.
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And 1800 episodes in we
better be decent, right?
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But ultimately, how did we get to a
place where, I listen to old content,
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and you mentioned authenticity, and
vulnerability is a part of authenticity.
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I think it’s vulnerable and courageous
to make those circles the same.
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And that means that you own
your successes, and you own your
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strengths, and, and you also own your
weaknesses, and you own your failures.
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I think that true humility, I
think, is living in whatever’s
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accurate, whatever’s true.
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So you don’t pretend you’re the man
when you’re not, and you don’t pretend
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you suck when you’re actually awesome.
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It’s, it’s just owning what is.
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And it’s taken me thirty-five
years to figure that out.
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But how did we get to where we are?
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I would say it was the success loop.
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It was, we believed in the podcast,
we believe in self improvement,
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we believe in acute awareness.
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Hyperconsciousness is what it
used to be, The Hyperconscious
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Podcast is where we started.
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And then we rebranded to Next Level
University 600 or 700 episodes later.
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But ultimately, it really
was that success loop.
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We just stayed consistent, and we
always reflected upon these concepts,
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and we contemplated ourselves, and we
contemplated other people, and we got
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to know our listeners, and we learned
how to communicate more effectively,
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and we learned what humility is, and
what belief is and how to build it, and
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self worth versus self belief, and we,
self awareness, and over time we just,
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we focused on getting a little
bit better each episode, not
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just better at podcasting.
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We tried, we used to say,
Character over everything.
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So Kevin and I both
grew up without fathers.
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Uh, my father passed away as I
mentioned when I was two, and then I
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had a stepfather who left at fourteen.
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He grew up without his, he never met
his dad until he was twenty-seven.
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That was the first time he ever met
his dad was when he was twenty-seven.
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00:17:04,025 –> 00:17:07,815
So I think unconsciously we
were trying to become the male
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role models that we never had.
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And then ironically, paradoxically,
we, most of our listeners are actually
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women, so that was fascinating.
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But ultimately it really came
down to every single episode
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we would show up to the microphone
as the best, what, what we wanted to
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00:17:24,750 –> 00:17:29,980
be the best version of ourselves and
we failed forward and every single
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00:17:29,990 –> 00:17:32,529
episode had some mistakes, filler words.
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00:17:32,530 –> 00:17:34,120
I remember we had an,
um, jar at one point.
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00:17:34,130 –> 00:17:36,889
Every time I said, um, I had
to put a dollar in the jar.
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00:17:37,340 –> 00:17:40,249
And we just tried to get a
little bit better each time.
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And now he’s done 1800 on our show.
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He has a podcast, Growth University
Podcast with 130, I think.
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I have a podcast called Conscious Couples
Podcast with, I think we’re at 135, 136 as
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of this week with my girlfriend, Emilia.
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And he’s been on about
a thousand other shows.
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I think I’ve been on about 400.
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But ultimately the reason I
say all that isn’t to brag,
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what I’m saying is we just got a
tiny bit better each and every time.
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And so if I seem like a strong order
who has a lot of confidence, I think
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there’s two types of confidence, I think
there’s confidence in your abilities
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and then external achievement and then I
think there’s confidence in who you are.
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00:18:20,710 –> 00:18:25,170
My therapist, Carol, she said to me, It’s
amazing the work we’re doing together,
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00:18:25,530 –> 00:18:26,880
you’ve become so much more confident.
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00:18:28,250 –> 00:18:31,700
And I said to her, I said, No
one’s ever said that to me before.
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00:18:31,700 –> 00:18:35,040
I’ve never, I’ve never, my
confidence has never been questioned.
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00:18:35,550 –> 00:18:37,160
I said, Most people think I’m arrogant.
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So she said, No, no, no.
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Confident in who you are.
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And I was like, Oh, interesting.
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Those are two different things.
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I’ve always been
confident in my abilities.
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00:18:46,470 –> 00:18:50,094
I’m good at stuff, as arrogant
as that sounds, I’m not as
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00:18:50,094 –> 00:18:52,074
confident as who I am as a man.
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00:18:52,715 –> 00:18:55,795
And that’s the courage piece, the
social courage piece in particular.
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Cause I realized in hindsight,
I was an absolute social coward.
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That’s one of the reasons
I used to drink so much.
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00:19:00,985 –> 00:19:04,684
But anyways, so, so one percent
better every single time we
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try to get a little better.
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And back to the reflection piece
that you had mentioned, we reflected
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each time on how to do better.
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We have something called Most important
win, most important improvement.
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What was the, okay, that episode, awesome.
324
00:19:17,875 –> 00:19:19,304
Okay recording done.
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What was the most important win?
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All right.
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00:19:21,705 –> 00:19:24,074
Well, I think we really had a good
topic there and I think we were
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really pulled to talk about it.
329
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I thought, I think we
were really authentic.
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Okay, good.
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Most important improvement.
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00:19:28,625 –> 00:19:33,425
Alan, you say you know, like, and,
um, sixty times in an episode.
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00:19:33,455 –> 00:19:35,045
Cut the crap, right?
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So even there, right, question mark.
335
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I always say right at the end.
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00:19:38,975 –> 00:19:43,635
I’m trying to use less filler
words and use more powerful pauses.
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00:19:43,925 –> 00:19:46,985
And so that’s just one example of
one thing that I want to work on.
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00:19:46,985 –> 00:19:50,435
But when you do that thousands and
thousands of times, eventually you end up,
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00:19:50,945 –> 00:19:53,035
what other people think are really good.
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00:19:53,635 –> 00:19:55,114
Ed Watters: Yeah, and, and it does.
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00:19:55,114 –> 00:19:59,655
It takes a long time to actually
train your mind to be consistent
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00:19:59,684 –> 00:20:06,144
in removing those little, um, uh,
because they’re really just there to
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00:20:06,194 –> 00:20:08,924
pause long enough to grasp a thought.
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00:20:09,484 –> 00:20:17,290
And as you podcast longer and you talk
with more people, those ums do come less
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00:20:17,290 –> 00:20:25,110
often because you’re cognitive more often
when you’re in constant discussions.
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And I, I love, that’s where podcast
has brought me, you know, I was a very
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00:20:33,280 –> 00:20:41,720
unsecure, unaware individual that was
mad and through podcast conversations,
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00:20:41,750 –> 00:20:44,469
it’s brought this awareness to me.
349
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We’re all in the same boat together.
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00:20:48,220 –> 00:20:55,485
And that has made me dive onto
this discovery ship with so many
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00:20:55,555 –> 00:20:58,445
interesting people on this ship.
352
00:20:59,225 –> 00:21:06,185
And I really think that the waters
is a boat taking you to a journey
353
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that you have no clue where you’re going.
354
00:21:09,310 –> 00:21:15,629
And if you find it interesting,
you’re a very deep theoretical
355
00:21:15,639 –> 00:21:17,520
thought type of person.
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00:21:17,590 –> 00:21:24,140
And if you’re worried, I, I
think you’re a different layered
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00:21:24,200 –> 00:21:29,510
individual with many complicated
things that you haven’t figured out.
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00:21:30,160 –> 00:21:36,100
So that confidence comes
in many different ways.
359
00:21:36,509 –> 00:21:44,300
And once we do find that, it’s a gift
that, nobody’s taking it from me,
360
00:21:44,360 –> 00:21:46,490
I know this for a fact.
361
00:21:46,580 –> 00:21:51,360
I want to spread love,
light, and hope to the world.
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And podcasting is, given me that power.
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00:21:56,330 –> 00:22:04,449
Now, I haven’t had the high success
rate yet, but I, I am on a trajectory
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to overcome all these difficulties.
365
00:22:08,870 –> 00:22:14,020
And that’s where we really have
to remember, we’re on a ship
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00:22:14,110 –> 00:22:17,769
and we don’t know where we’re
going with whatever it is.
367
00:22:17,779 –> 00:22:19,379
For me, it’s podcasting.
368
00:22:19,649 –> 00:22:23,324
Because that, right now,
is what my life is about.
369
00:22:23,394 –> 00:22:27,165
I want to make something of podcasting.
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00:22:28,894 –> 00:22:36,485
What is the journey for you
in the coming days with your
371
00:22:37,014 –> 00:22:39,864
podcasting and your partnerships?
372
00:22:40,545 –> 00:22:43,525
Alan Lazaros: So the vehicles,
you mentioned a ship.
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I have three vehicles, I call them trains.
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00:22:46,594 –> 00:22:49,994
And the reason I use a train is
because when you have momentum on a
375
00:22:49,994 –> 00:22:51,664
train, they’re kind of unstoppable.
376
00:22:51,715 –> 00:22:54,205
But in the beginning, they, it’s
really hard to get them going,
377
00:22:54,405 –> 00:22:55,195
really hard to get them going.
378
00:22:55,195 –> 00:22:58,134
So I think a train is a good metaphor,
but I like the ship metaphor as well.
379
00:22:59,044 –> 00:23:02,425
Because with the ship metaphor,
you’ve got the storms and the tide
380
00:23:02,425 –> 00:23:05,254
and you still got to try to find
a direction and all that stuff.
381
00:23:05,564 –> 00:23:12,585
But anyways, so the three trains for me
are podcasting, training and coaching.
382
00:23:13,345 –> 00:23:16,125
Podcasting and the
purpose underneath that.
383
00:23:16,135 –> 00:23:17,475
So what’s the point of the trains?
384
00:23:17,755 –> 00:23:21,985
It’s not about the podcast, the training,
and the coaching, it’s what are you doing?
385
00:23:22,014 –> 00:23:25,064
And so underneath that, the purpose
is what I mentioned earlier of the,
386
00:23:25,074 –> 00:23:27,254
maximize my own unique potential
and help others do the same.
387
00:23:28,235 –> 00:23:29,564
So that’s underneath these trains.
388
00:23:29,564 –> 00:23:32,254
But the way I deploy that
purpose is through these trains,
389
00:23:32,294 –> 00:23:34,465
podcasting, training, and coaching.
390
00:23:35,595 –> 00:23:37,115
Podcasting is one to scale.
391
00:23:38,304 –> 00:23:41,195
Training is one to many, so we have
a group coaching program we do every
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00:23:41,195 –> 00:23:45,735
quarter with ten individuals, so one to
many, and then coaching is one on one.
393
00:23:45,745 –> 00:23:50,835
So I just got off with my client,
Cole, right before this and we do
394
00:23:50,855 –> 00:23:54,115
essentially, so I have this goal
achievement system, it’s really simple.
395
00:23:54,165 –> 00:23:55,524
It’s not easy, but it’s simple.
396
00:23:56,245 –> 00:23:58,585
What’s your goal, top
three goals for the year?
397
00:23:58,594 –> 00:24:01,865
Break it down into the quarterly
goals leading to the ultimate mission
398
00:24:01,865 –> 00:24:02,934
statement, the goals and dreams.
399
00:24:03,295 –> 00:24:06,944
And then there’s this, the four things
that you really need is, number one, you
400
00:24:06,944 –> 00:24:09,185
need a clear, specific, measurable goal.
401
00:24:09,415 –> 00:24:11,474
Number two, you need
metrics that you track.
402
00:24:11,944 –> 00:24:14,204
Number three, you need
habits that you track.
403
00:24:14,504 –> 00:24:15,654
I’m a big habit tracker.
404
00:24:15,984 –> 00:24:17,444
And then number four,
you need the identity.
405
00:24:18,675 –> 00:24:25,600
So a lot of people, unfortunately,
they don’t identify as the type of
406
00:24:25,600 –> 00:24:26,960
person who can achieve the thing.
407
00:24:27,030 –> 00:24:32,339
So I went to Kev not long ago and I
said, I realized this, I’m reading
408
00:24:32,339 –> 00:24:36,200
a book called Identity Shift in book
club right now by a man named Anthony
409
00:24:36,210 –> 00:24:37,370
Trucks, who’s actually a friend of ours.
410
00:24:38,259 –> 00:24:42,509
But anyways, so I came to Kev and
I said something along the lines
411
00:24:42,510 –> 00:24:44,490
of, Do you identify as an achiever?
412
00:24:45,870 –> 00:24:48,350
And he said, No, not really.
413
00:24:49,700 –> 00:24:53,270
And I said, Isn’t it interesting how you
came to me all those years ago and you
414
00:24:53,270 –> 00:24:56,460
wanted to achieve all these things, but
yet you don’t identify as an achiever?
415
00:24:57,795 –> 00:25:02,075
And I had this moment and I said,
Do you think, do you think that if
416
00:25:02,075 –> 00:25:05,445
you identify as an achiever, you
would be more likely to do achiever
417
00:25:05,445 –> 00:25:06,955
stuff and then achieve more?
418
00:25:07,585 –> 00:25:08,565
And he said, Yeah.
419
00:25:09,224 –> 00:25:10,585
Here’s the conundrum though.
420
00:25:11,674 –> 00:25:14,214
Every action you take is a vote
for the type of person you want
421
00:25:14,214 –> 00:25:15,584
to become, aka the identity.
422
00:25:15,584 –> 00:25:17,485
That’s a James Clear
quote from Atomic Habits.
423
00:25:18,785 –> 00:25:22,710
I identify as an achiever, so I’m
more likely to achieve than someone
424
00:25:22,710 –> 00:25:24,110
who doesn’t identify as an achiever.
425
00:25:24,110 –> 00:25:26,129
I used to identify as a drinker now,
426
00:25:26,129 –> 00:25:26,950
I’m not a drinker.
427
00:25:27,659 –> 00:25:32,780
Instead of, if you offered me a drink,
I wouldn’t say Uh, No, thank you.
428
00:25:32,780 –> 00:25:33,539
I’m trying to quit.
429
00:25:33,659 –> 00:25:35,010
I would say I don’t drink.
430
00:25:36,179 –> 00:25:39,879
I don’t identify as someone who
drinks alcohol that’s why I don’t
431
00:25:39,879 –> 00:25:41,089
have to count the days anymore.
432
00:25:41,315 –> 00:25:42,995
Whereas in the beginning,
I had to count the days.
433
00:25:43,295 –> 00:25:45,835
So the identity piece is the
piece that I think a lot of
434
00:25:45,845 –> 00:25:47,495
people don’t have figured out.
435
00:25:48,365 –> 00:25:50,764
And unfortunately, if you
don’t have the identity, you
436
00:25:50,764 –> 00:25:52,215
probably won’t take the action.
437
00:25:52,215 –> 00:25:54,455
And if you don’t take the action,
you’ll never get the identity.
438
00:25:54,455 –> 00:25:57,035
So it’s this weird conundrum
that you get stuck in.
439
00:25:57,804 –> 00:26:00,854
And a lot of times, the reason I figured
this out is because I would set up metrics
440
00:26:00,924 –> 00:26:04,764
and habits and track metrics and habits
toward goals and dreams with clients.
441
00:26:04,774 –> 00:26:06,864
And then when they would leave
my coaching, they would go,
442
00:26:07,205 –> 00:26:08,425
they would lose the results.
443
00:26:10,195 –> 00:26:15,524
And I realized, Oh, I’m not their,
their, don’t have the identity to uphold
444
00:26:15,524 –> 00:26:17,065
those metrics and habits without me.
445
00:26:18,679 –> 00:26:21,419
I’m not, I’m giving them a fish,
I’m not teaching them how to fish.
446
00:26:22,590 –> 00:26:24,680
And more importantly, I’m
not just giving them a fish.
447
00:26:25,750 –> 00:26:28,610
I’m not, I need to be not just
teaching them how to fish, I need
448
00:26:28,840 –> 00:26:30,480
them to teach themselves how to fish.
449
00:26:31,730 –> 00:26:34,790
Now you’ll always be better off with a
coach than without, if it’s a good coach.
450
00:26:34,989 –> 00:26:42,529
However, I can’t have you relying
on me, as your coach, to actually
451
00:26:42,529 –> 00:26:43,749
be able to coach yourself.
452
00:26:44,735 –> 00:26:48,395
Because I coach myself, I am
always looking and reflecting,
453
00:26:48,395 –> 00:26:49,445
What do I need to do?
454
00:26:49,985 –> 00:26:52,655
Uh, What am I not doing that I
know that I need to be doing?
455
00:26:52,655 –> 00:26:56,044
What am I telling myself a story I’m
above doing that I know would help?
456
00:26:56,375 –> 00:26:58,534
I’m asking those questions all
the time, that’s what coaches do.
457
00:26:58,545 –> 00:27:00,685
They ask compelling questions,
they hold you accountable.
458
00:27:01,114 –> 00:27:04,384
They help you track metrics, habits,
and they help you build the identity
459
00:27:04,385 –> 00:27:05,935
necessary to actually achieve the thing.
460
00:27:06,294 –> 00:27:08,094
If you don’t identify as
a football player, you’re
461
00:27:08,094 –> 00:27:08,884
never going to be in the NFL.
462
00:27:11,014 –> 00:27:11,655
Ed Watters: That’s right.
463
00:27:11,985 –> 00:27:12,355
Yeah.
464
00:27:12,735 –> 00:27:17,514
You know, it’s, it’s really
important to track our habits.
465
00:27:18,214 –> 00:27:20,935
You know, you mentioned tracking habits.
466
00:27:22,225 –> 00:27:28,685
That’s, that’s really what brought me
awareness to my habits is when I started
467
00:27:28,754 –> 00:27:34,704
paying attention to them and noticing
when they, how frequent they came up.
468
00:27:34,864 –> 00:27:39,455
It is really telling in many ways.
469
00:27:39,655 –> 00:27:48,254
A lot of that comes from framing the
right mindset for each and every day.
470
00:27:49,024 –> 00:27:54,424
So how do you start the day and
frame your mindset for the day?
471
00:27:55,185 –> 00:27:58,564
Alan Lazaros: So I try really hard
to have a good morning routine.
472
00:27:58,615 –> 00:28:02,165
I have this system, so I
break my day into thirds.
473
00:28:02,205 –> 00:28:04,314
And I got to say this, too, I’m,
474
00:28:06,905 –> 00:28:13,135
I’m an achiever who is not, uh,
normal in, in, in, how do I phrase
475
00:28:13,135 –> 00:28:14,514
this without sounding pretentious?
476
00:28:15,764 –> 00:28:19,594
I’m nuts and obsessive and I
have really big goals and dreams.
477
00:28:19,594 –> 00:28:21,754
So take what you want from this.
478
00:28:21,764 –> 00:28:24,324
It’s like a buffet, you don’t
have to eat it, eat all the food.
479
00:28:24,855 –> 00:28:25,105
All right.
480
00:28:25,115 –> 00:28:26,314
So I break my day into thirds.
481
00:28:26,314 –> 00:28:29,175
I work six days a week,
technically seven, but I do front
482
00:28:29,175 –> 00:28:30,995
facing stuff six days a week.
483
00:28:31,004 –> 00:28:34,035
So I work Monday through
Saturday from 10 a.
484
00:28:34,035 –> 00:28:34,395
m.
485
00:28:34,425 –> 00:28:35,805
to 7 p.
486
00:28:35,805 –> 00:28:36,055
m.
487
00:28:36,075 –> 00:28:37,015
is front facing.
488
00:28:37,635 –> 00:28:38,370
Really 6 p.
489
00:28:38,370 –> 00:28:38,540
m.
490
00:28:38,580 –> 00:28:40,350
because I have an hour of
back office after that, but
491
00:28:40,750 –> 00:28:41,740
I break my day into thirds.
492
00:28:41,750 –> 00:28:44,260
The first third is for me, the
second third is for service,
493
00:28:44,560 –> 00:28:46,880
the third third is for
fitness, food, and family.
494
00:28:48,800 –> 00:28:52,759
And so when I wake up, I don’t
set an alarm, I’m very grateful at
495
00:28:52,759 –> 00:28:53,750
this point to be able to do that.
496
00:28:53,750 –> 00:28:54,610
I don’t set an alarm.
497
00:28:55,170 –> 00:28:56,899
Emilia and I, we’re in
the bedroom at 10 p.
498
00:28:56,899 –> 00:28:57,109
m.
499
00:28:58,450 –> 00:29:01,560
We hang out, we do our
thing, we, we go to bed.
500
00:29:02,580 –> 00:29:05,330
I wake up when I wake up
and it’s always before ten
501
00:29:05,530 –> 00:29:07,060
so I’m not gonna miss a meeting.
502
00:29:09,310 –> 00:29:13,139
Depending on when I wake up, I, I take
the pets out, I do that kind of thing.
503
00:29:13,150 –> 00:29:16,630
But then I, I need to
feed my mind, I need to.
504
00:29:17,140 –> 00:29:20,609
So I grab a protein shake and a, I
have these protein pop tarts that
505
00:29:20,609 –> 00:29:22,950
are, have high fiber, they’re awesome.
506
00:29:23,369 –> 00:29:26,720
And I do that and I, I, earlier
this morning, I’m taking a course,
507
00:29:26,729 –> 00:29:31,370
it’s called Relentless and I just
feed my body and I feed my brain.
508
00:29:34,310 –> 00:29:37,830
Then I transition into
sort of taking self care.
509
00:29:37,830 –> 00:29:43,230
So shower, brush my teeth, get my morning
routine going, get dressed, get ready
510
00:29:43,230 –> 00:29:44,590
for my first front facing meeting.
511
00:29:44,990 –> 00:29:48,420
Then my first meeting is at 10am
and my last meeting’s at six.
512
00:29:48,489 –> 00:29:52,709
I do podcasting, training, coaching,
department meetings, that kind of thing.
513
00:29:53,189 –> 00:29:55,460
And then at six, I immediately shut off,
514
00:29:55,770 –> 00:30:00,200
I go downstairs, I get into
gym gear, I put my hat on.
515
00:30:00,250 –> 00:30:04,250
I have two modes, really, I have fitness
mode and, I have a relaxing fitness
516
00:30:04,250 –> 00:30:06,560
mode and I have work front facing mode.
517
00:30:06,560 –> 00:30:07,770
I don’t really have any in between.
518
00:30:08,080 –> 00:30:09,620
And again, I’m kind of a nut case.
519
00:30:09,629 –> 00:30:10,969
So understand that.
520
00:30:11,930 –> 00:30:13,529
Instead of nut case, I’ll use obsessive.
521
00:30:13,609 –> 00:30:15,170
I’m an obsessive individual.
522
00:30:16,255 –> 00:30:20,795
Okay, so the moment from six to seven,
I have an hour to crank out my back
523
00:30:20,795 –> 00:30:25,094
office work to prepare and close out
the, close the store, so to speak, so
524
00:30:25,095 –> 00:30:28,874
that I can actually, from seven to ten,
focus on fitness, food, and family.
525
00:30:29,365 –> 00:30:32,165
And by family, I mean
my girlfriend, Emilia.
526
00:30:32,335 –> 00:30:33,905
We live together and we have three pets.
527
00:30:33,905 –> 00:30:35,154
So we have two cats and a dog
528
00:30:35,645 –> 00:30:36,704
and it’s wonderful.
529
00:30:37,015 –> 00:30:37,585
It’s wonderful.
530
00:30:38,855 –> 00:30:44,055
And then I hit the bedroom at ten every
night, we’re twenty-seven days in a row
531
00:30:44,055 –> 00:30:46,425
right now of hitting the bedroom at 10 PM.
532
00:30:46,565 –> 00:30:49,775
And then we do our thing and we go
to bed and then I rinse and repeat.
533
00:30:50,375 –> 00:30:51,994
Sunday is adventure day.
534
00:30:52,145 –> 00:30:56,394
So Sunday I do work, but it’s
not any front facing work.
535
00:30:56,395 –> 00:30:58,665
So we have a rule of no
front facing on Sunday
536
00:30:58,665 –> 00:31:00,835
so you couldn’t schedule
this podcast on Sunday.
537
00:31:01,155 –> 00:31:02,925
Now, one thing I also want
to mention to everybody,
538
00:31:05,725 –> 00:31:07,055
I didn’t start here.
539
00:31:07,805 –> 00:31:11,365
Uh, you can’t start a business
and dictate your own schedule.
540
00:31:11,635 –> 00:31:16,325
Like, I now have twenty-eight clients,
I’ve got twenty-one team members.
541
00:31:16,385 –> 00:31:19,425
We’ve been doing this for a long
time, we have enough demand.
542
00:31:20,004 –> 00:31:23,575
I can kind of dictate my own schedule
now, but I didn’t start there.
543
00:31:23,575 –> 00:31:24,725
I used to have to do 6 a.
544
00:31:24,725 –> 00:31:24,975
m.
545
00:31:25,025 –> 00:31:26,055
whether I’m on the road or not.
546
00:31:26,095 –> 00:31:28,905
I didn’t get to, you can’t just, Oh,
I’m going to start my own business
547
00:31:28,905 –> 00:31:30,115
and then dictate my schedule.
548
00:31:30,125 –> 00:31:31,705
That’s, you can’t start there.
549
00:31:31,975 –> 00:31:36,065
Eventually through massive earning it
and hard work and work ethic, you can
550
00:31:36,065 –> 00:31:37,715
eventually create your own schedule.
551
00:31:38,035 –> 00:31:39,934
And so I just want to make
that as clear as possible.
552
00:31:39,935 –> 00:31:41,275
But yeah, Sunday is adventure day.
553
00:31:41,275 –> 00:31:44,004
So that’s when we plan these
mini trips and stuff like that.
554
00:31:44,364 –> 00:31:46,965
When we travel, I do the same thing.
555
00:31:47,710 –> 00:31:51,900
And I still work Friday and Saturday front
facing because my calendar is always full.
556
00:31:52,270 –> 00:31:56,180
And then Sunday we’re, we were
at the lake, uh, her, her family
557
00:31:56,180 –> 00:31:57,870
has a lake house that’s amazing.
558
00:31:58,319 –> 00:32:01,500
And we still worked all day
Saturday and then we cut it at six.
559
00:32:01,500 –> 00:32:04,610
We spent the evening with them and
then all day Sunday we kayaked and
560
00:32:04,610 –> 00:32:05,549
we did all kinds of cool stuff.
561
00:32:05,549 –> 00:32:08,009
So people ask me, How do you have a life?
562
00:32:08,549 –> 00:32:11,660
Uh, the truth is, most
of my life is my career.
563
00:32:12,090 –> 00:32:13,260
That’s by choice.
564
00:32:13,660 –> 00:32:17,180
And you don’t have to do that,
but you can learn from some
565
00:32:17,180 –> 00:32:18,439
sort of systems and structure.
566
00:32:18,440 –> 00:32:22,010
Because I think most people don’t
have enough systems and structure.
567
00:32:22,629 –> 00:32:25,929
Everyone wants to be successful,
but very few people want the
568
00:32:25,930 –> 00:32:29,240
disciplines and systems and structure
necessary to actually sustain it.
569
00:32:30,010 –> 00:32:31,340
Ed Watters: That’s so true.
570
00:32:31,640 –> 00:32:37,060
You know, and you have to step into that
framing your mindset to achieve that.
571
00:32:37,520 –> 00:32:38,840
So, you know,
572
00:32:41,110 –> 00:32:49,699
a lot of people, they, they find
happiness with money and success.
573
00:32:50,810 –> 00:32:58,500
Could you be happy with just you and
your gal and just being the two of you?
574
00:33:00,450 –> 00:33:00,930
Alan Lazaros: Yeah.
575
00:33:00,930 –> 00:33:09,585
So, uh, Emilia, Emilia is the best
thing that’s ever happened to me.
576
00:33:09,645 –> 00:33:11,145
She says, Happened for me.
577
00:33:12,375 –> 00:33:16,265
Uh, she said, You became the man that,
that could attract me, that kind of thing.
578
00:33:16,345 –> 00:33:18,134
But ultimately greatest gift of my life.
579
00:33:18,585 –> 00:33:23,574
And in some ways, and this might be
weird, but I, and I’ve never really
580
00:33:23,574 –> 00:33:28,865
shared this publicly probably but,
at least not to this extent, I put
581
00:33:28,875 –> 00:33:31,295
human beings in these two main camps.
582
00:33:31,335 –> 00:33:34,285
And I don’t want to put anyone in a
box so understand that I’m doing this,
583
00:33:34,585 –> 00:33:37,300
uh, just, just to explain a concept.
584
00:33:40,150 –> 00:33:42,100
So I grew up in a really
tough environment.
585
00:33:43,500 –> 00:33:45,630
Now, I was born in the U.
586
00:33:45,630 –> 00:33:47,760
S., which is the largest economy.
587
00:33:47,820 –> 00:33:48,840
I understand that.
588
00:33:49,300 –> 00:33:53,420
Uh, most people see me now and
they assume I had a silver spoon.
589
00:33:53,959 –> 00:33:57,630
Uh, you know, well educated,
articulate, blonde hair, blue
590
00:33:57,630 –> 00:34:00,610
eyed, tall, male, Caucasian.
591
00:34:01,490 –> 00:34:06,050
I mean, most people just assume
that I was a silver spooner.
592
00:34:06,270 –> 00:34:08,530
And I understand why they
do, and that’s whatever.
593
00:34:08,630 –> 00:34:08,790
It’s fine.
594
00:34:08,790 –> 00:34:11,030
But that wasn’t the case at all.
595
00:34:11,490 –> 00:34:14,900
I had three main advantages in life,
and I can give you them right now.
596
00:34:14,979 –> 00:34:16,659
Number one, I believed in myself a ton.
597
00:34:17,929 –> 00:34:19,860
I always have, no matter how dark it was.
598
00:34:20,740 –> 00:34:22,510
Number two, I do feel gifted.
599
00:34:23,625 –> 00:34:26,705
And I used to never share that because
if you are gifted, you’re scared as
600
00:34:26,705 –> 00:34:29,395
hell of sharing it because everyone
thinks you’re an arrogant a-hole.
601
00:34:30,275 –> 00:34:32,565
Um, and, but I am, I definitely am gifted.
602
00:34:33,314 –> 00:34:37,655
Particularly mathematical intelligence,
um, reverse engineering finish lines.
603
00:34:37,675 –> 00:34:39,915
I could party all night, still
get straight A’s on all the
604
00:34:39,915 –> 00:34:41,075
calc exams, type of thing.
605
00:34:41,775 –> 00:34:45,054
And then, and then the third
thing, uh, that I’m very grateful
606
00:34:45,064 –> 00:34:49,715
for is I was born in a country
that invests in powerful minds.
607
00:34:50,415 –> 00:34:55,135
And so when my stepdad left, my dream
was to go to WPI, which is kind of a mini
608
00:34:55,135 –> 00:34:56,855
MIT, Worcester Polytechnic Institute.
609
00:34:56,855 –> 00:35:00,455
It’s one of the best engineering
colleges in the world, and it was 50,
610
00:35:00,455 –> 00:35:02,405
000 a year, and this is back then.
611
00:35:03,604 –> 00:35:08,265
So I went from, I can’t wait to get in,
to holy crap, even if I do get in, I
612
00:35:08,265 –> 00:35:09,685
can’t go because we don’t have the money.
613
00:35:10,985 –> 00:35:13,684
And fortunately, I got tons of
scholarships and financial aid.
614
00:35:13,724 –> 00:35:17,885
And so luckily, Massachusetts invested
in me, and I got no interest loans,
615
00:35:17,885 –> 00:35:21,025
and I got scholarships, and I got
financial aid, and I wouldn’t be the
616
00:35:21,025 –> 00:35:22,195
man I am today if it wasn’t for that.
617
00:35:23,230 –> 00:35:25,330
So, those are the three
advantages that I had.
618
00:35:25,340 –> 00:35:28,940
Now, the interesting thing, and this
is, I’ve reflected on this a lot,
619
00:35:28,940 –> 00:35:31,250
I started doing therapy a lot in my
thirties, I’ve re watched the movie
620
00:35:31,250 –> 00:35:32,950
of my own life a hundred times.
621
00:35:34,845 –> 00:35:37,045
Kind of, those are the
only three advantages.
622
00:35:39,005 –> 00:35:42,075
The rest of my life was
pretty freaking terrible.
623
00:35:43,015 –> 00:35:44,995
Particularly my childhood, okay?
624
00:35:45,015 –> 00:35:46,905
So, back to the two camps.
625
00:35:49,095 –> 00:35:54,135
I think there’s two main camps
that we all adopt unconsciously.
626
00:35:55,105 –> 00:35:57,255
And I’ll tell you mine, and then I’ll
tell you the one that other people
627
00:35:57,255 –> 00:36:00,050
have, and I’ll tell you a brief
story about me and my ex girlfriend,
628
00:36:00,600 –> 00:36:00,930
okay.
629
00:36:04,040 –> 00:36:06,680
I was born into a very adverse situation.
630
00:36:06,680 –> 00:36:10,689
Father died when I was two, stepfather
and mom did not get along, and
631
00:36:10,690 –> 00:36:11,880
that’s a polite way to put it.
632
00:36:13,700 –> 00:36:14,790
It was adversity.
633
00:36:15,300 –> 00:36:18,599
There’s something called an ACE score,
Adverse Childhood Experiences, and if you
634
00:36:18,820 –> 00:36:24,830
take the ACE score or study any childhood
trauma stuff, you, you’ll find where
635
00:36:24,830 –> 00:36:26,530
you fall on the statistical bell curve,
636
00:36:26,540 –> 00:36:26,900
okay.
637
00:36:26,920 –> 00:36:30,160
And I was on the, I’m on the
very, very, very, very high end
638
00:36:30,160 –> 00:36:31,530
of Adverse Childhood Experiences.
639
00:36:32,860 –> 00:36:36,250
Now, I am fortunate in this.
640
00:36:37,100 –> 00:36:39,380
People say adversity is your
advantage and I don’t agree with that,
641
00:36:40,220 –> 00:36:41,580
unless you have high self belief.
642
00:36:42,150 –> 00:36:43,810
Adversity was always my advantage.
643
00:36:44,709 –> 00:36:46,989
Because if you have high self
belief, you’ll take that adversity
644
00:36:46,990 –> 00:36:49,450
and you’ll transform and you’ll
be stronger and smarter than ever.
645
00:36:49,789 –> 00:36:52,380
My trauma response was aim
higher, work harder, get smarter.
646
00:36:53,735 –> 00:36:56,245
But I know some people who don’t
believe in themselves and trust me,
647
00:36:56,245 –> 00:36:57,715
that was not their trauma response.
648
00:36:57,785 –> 00:37:01,405
Their trauma response was
escape, disassociate, drugs,
649
00:37:01,405 –> 00:37:03,924
alcohol, you name it, okay.
650
00:37:04,265 –> 00:37:05,534
And I did a little bit of both, right?
651
00:37:05,535 –> 00:37:06,255
There you go, okay.
652
00:37:06,724 –> 00:37:09,785
I did a little bit of both, but mostly
it was achieve, achieve, achieve.
653
00:37:10,104 –> 00:37:13,825
It was aim higher, work harder,
get smarter, mostly with a
654
00:37:13,825 –> 00:37:14,935
little alcohol along the way.
655
00:37:14,935 –> 00:37:16,255
I’ll tell you what, okay.
656
00:37:17,485 –> 00:37:23,040
The main camp that I’m in, I actually
think life is supposed to suck.
657
00:37:24,690 –> 00:37:30,950
I was born in a situation where life was
adverse and unconsciously I created this
658
00:37:30,970 –> 00:37:36,690
narrative of life is suffering, life
is hard, life kind of sucks by default.
659
00:37:38,159 –> 00:37:41,719
But despite that, you can
make it meaningful and you
660
00:37:41,720 –> 00:37:42,820
can make something of it.
661
00:37:43,019 –> 00:37:43,899
That’s camp one.
662
00:37:44,930 –> 00:37:47,610
I think that’s very empowering,
I think that’s more accurate too.
663
00:37:47,850 –> 00:37:51,810
I think life is inherently adverse,
some more than others, okay?
664
00:37:53,425 –> 00:37:58,805
There’s this other camp that I’ve always
had trouble with and my ex girlfriend,
665
00:37:58,995 –> 00:38:00,785
one of my ex girlfriends had this camp.
666
00:38:01,195 –> 00:38:04,755
She grew up in an environment that was
very spoiled and she had everything
667
00:38:04,755 –> 00:38:06,105
handed to her and that kind of thing.
668
00:38:07,755 –> 00:38:13,544
Some people, that other camp is, I think
life is supposed to be good and every time
669
00:38:13,544 –> 00:38:16,195
it’s not I think something’s wrong with
me or something’s wrong with the world.
670
00:38:17,485 –> 00:38:19,685
To me, I think that’s a
very dangerous attitude.
671
00:38:20,455 –> 00:38:24,825
And the reason why is because those
people, when things aren’t good, they
672
00:38:24,825 –> 00:38:26,725
get, they kind of throw hissy fits.
673
00:38:27,565 –> 00:38:30,255
They, they, they don’t,
they don’t transform.
674
00:38:30,945 –> 00:38:33,455
They think something’s wrong with
the government or something’s wrong
675
00:38:33,455 –> 00:38:36,685
with the, the world and they don’t
take as much personal responsibility.
676
00:38:36,685 –> 00:38:39,074
And here’s the thing, there’s a lot
wrong with the government and the world,
677
00:38:39,085 –> 00:38:39,735
I get that.
678
00:38:40,094 –> 00:38:42,584
It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter.
679
00:38:42,584 –> 00:38:45,855
I didn’t want my dad to die, I didn’t
want my stepdad to leave, I didn’t
680
00:38:45,855 –> 00:38:48,325
want these things, it doesn’t matter.
681
00:38:49,185 –> 00:38:52,445
And there’s a little bit of suck it up
buttercup, it’s your responsibility.
682
00:38:52,455 –> 00:38:55,565
Your life is your fault and
it’s your responsibility.
683
00:38:55,565 –> 00:38:56,445
It’s not your fault
684
00:38:56,675 –> 00:38:59,005
you had an alcoholic parent, it’s
not your fault you were beaten,
685
00:38:59,005 –> 00:39:00,305
it’s not your fault your dad died.
686
00:39:00,495 –> 00:39:01,604
It’s not your fault.
687
00:39:01,765 –> 00:39:06,534
But it is your goddamn responsibility
to make a meaningful life out of that.
688
00:39:06,824 –> 00:39:10,665
And so that for me, I think is the most
empowering thing in the world and it
689
00:39:10,665 –> 00:39:12,985
definitely saved my life in many regards.
690
00:39:13,435 –> 00:39:19,025
And I, whenever bad things happen,
I always find a way to take
691
00:39:19,045 –> 00:39:20,895
personal responsibility for it.
692
00:39:21,305 –> 00:39:24,365
And then, although that’s
massively painful and ridiculously
693
00:39:24,365 –> 00:39:29,315
challenging, I do end up better
off statistically in the long run.
694
00:39:29,694 –> 00:39:33,754
And I think that that victimhood
thing, I have this quote that I’ve
695
00:39:33,754 –> 00:39:35,094
been contemplating a lot lately.
696
00:39:35,094 –> 00:39:37,494
What happens when the victim
never plays the victim?
697
00:39:39,944 –> 00:39:42,745
When the victim never plays
the victim, I think they become
698
00:39:42,745 –> 00:39:44,045
the hero of their own story.
699
00:39:44,465 –> 00:39:46,705
And eventually they become
the guide and the mentor.
700
00:39:47,085 –> 00:39:51,950
But if you play the victim of poor me and
feeling sorry for yourself, you need to
701
00:39:51,950 –> 00:39:59,530
watch some movies like Hotel Rwanda, or,
uh, Blood Diamond, or Slumdog Millionaire,
702
00:39:59,640 –> 00:40:01,090
and you need to get some perspective.
703
00:40:01,090 –> 00:40:02,800
I call them perspective resets.
704
00:40:03,290 –> 00:40:07,279
Every time I think my life is
hard, Oh, poor CEO Alan with this
705
00:40:07,290 –> 00:40:09,830
awesome education, who went to one
of the best schools in the world.
706
00:40:10,190 –> 00:40:12,320
Like, I can’t even feel bad for me.
707
00:40:12,480 –> 00:40:16,030
Even though there’s a lot of adversity.
708
00:40:16,030 –> 00:40:17,620
Seriously, my life’s not that easy.
709
00:40:17,620 –> 00:40:20,240
Honestly, it’s actually gotten harder
when I was, I’ve gotten more successful.
710
00:40:20,240 –> 00:40:21,010
It doesn’t matter.
711
00:40:21,410 –> 00:40:26,639
I got interviewed once by someone who
was born in Rwanda during the genocide,
712
00:40:27,140 –> 00:40:29,750
and it was the coolest interview ever.
713
00:40:29,750 –> 00:40:32,370
And I just realized,
Alan, you are soft, man.
714
00:40:32,479 –> 00:40:38,860
Like you’re, and so again, I don’t
want anyone to feel bad about feeling
715
00:40:38,870 –> 00:40:40,500
bad because now you met a feel bad.
716
00:40:40,500 –> 00:40:43,360
And I’m not trying to say there
isn’t depression and all that stuff.
717
00:40:43,790 –> 00:40:46,625
What I am, and I’m not a
therapist, so I’m not a therapist.
718
00:40:47,075 –> 00:40:52,275
Here’s what I am saying, I think
personal responsibility of what you
719
00:40:52,275 –> 00:40:55,014
say, think, do, feel, and believe and
what you say, think, do, feel, and
720
00:40:55,014 –> 00:40:58,924
believe in response to what happens to
you is the most empowering thing in the
721
00:40:58,924 –> 00:41:03,555
world despite the fact that most things
in life are probably not your fault.
722
00:41:03,655 –> 00:41:07,619
But they are your responsibility and
that’s the only path upward, I think.
723
00:41:08,550 –> 00:41:09,430
Ed Watters: I agree.
724
00:41:09,460 –> 00:41:14,230
You know, that’s, that’s probably the
highlight of this podcast episode.
725
00:41:14,750 –> 00:41:20,220
If you cannot take responsibility,
you’ll never propel forward.
726
00:41:20,709 –> 00:41:26,119
Because we all mess up, I mean, I’m,
I’m one of the biggest mess ups.
727
00:41:26,750 –> 00:41:32,490
But just because I was stuck at
one point doesn’t mean that I can’t
728
00:41:32,570 –> 00:41:38,709
rearrange, readjust, and make my
life something I need it to be.
729
00:41:38,710 –> 00:41:42,470
Not what Henry, or Joe,
or Mary wants it to be.
730
00:41:42,850 –> 00:41:44,910
And that’s very important to remember.
731
00:41:44,920 –> 00:41:48,360
We all have something to give.
732
00:41:49,139 –> 00:41:53,150
What is your gift and how are
you going to make it happen?
733
00:41:53,410 –> 00:41:54,589
That’s what it’s about.
734
00:41:55,010 –> 00:42:01,760
When I got injured, I thought
my life was over and I was dead.
735
00:42:02,400 –> 00:42:10,750
And then I found podcasting and now
I realize the world is limitless
736
00:42:11,115 –> 00:42:18,625
and all I have to do is readjust, re
evaluate, and then make it happen.
737
00:42:18,705 –> 00:42:23,355
Baby steps work, it doesn’t
have to happen overnight.
738
00:42:24,090 –> 00:42:29,240
And this is one of the things you
highlighted earlier, those baby steps.
739
00:42:29,530 –> 00:42:34,360
Taking little short jumps,
and it really matters a lot.
740
00:42:34,880 –> 00:42:39,359
You know, Alan, our time is running
short, and I could speak with
741
00:42:39,359 –> 00:42:41,340
you for hours on this subject.
742
00:42:41,600 –> 00:42:47,005
I really want you to highlight
what you do, how people can get in
743
00:42:47,045 –> 00:42:52,125
touch with you and have your offers
that you offer available to them.
744
00:42:52,635 –> 00:42:53,664
Alan Lazaros: Thank you so much.
745
00:42:53,665 –> 00:42:55,654
Again, start with gratitude,
end with gratitude.
746
00:42:55,655 –> 00:42:57,585
I really appreciate it,
thank you for this interview.
747
00:42:58,015 –> 00:43:01,075
Also, the, the tiny courageous
moments that you mentioned,
748
00:43:01,665 –> 00:43:02,515
that’s what it’s about.
749
00:43:02,850 –> 00:43:08,060
The tiny, courageous moments that, that
despite adversity, and, and in the face
750
00:43:08,060 –> 00:43:13,500
of adversity, and in the face of fear,
and in the face of obstacles, and someone
751
00:43:13,500 –> 00:43:17,620
rising above difficult circumstances is
the most inspiring thing in the world.
752
00:43:18,230 –> 00:43:19,620
I think that’s what we all need.
753
00:43:20,089 –> 00:43:24,425
And so, you know, kudos to you overcoming
your challenges and, and trying to be
754
00:43:24,425 –> 00:43:28,165
a more virtuous, better man, I think is
ultimately what’s underneath all this.
755
00:43:28,165 –> 00:43:29,235
So that’s awesome.
756
00:43:29,715 –> 00:43:32,224
I used to say, I want self
improvement to spread like COVID.
757
00:43:33,044 –> 00:43:36,075
And I don’t say that anymore
because that comes off wrong.
758
00:43:36,755 –> 00:43:39,545
Uh, even though my engineering
brain does want that to happen.
759
00:43:40,095 –> 00:43:45,895
Uh, what I say now is COVID spread 2,
4 , 8, 16, 32, it spread exponentially,
760
00:43:45,895 –> 00:43:48,315
and I, and I hope that same thing
happens with self improvement.
761
00:43:48,445 –> 00:43:50,534
So, um, thank you for
being a part of that.
762
00:43:51,325 –> 00:43:56,075
As for where you can find me,
nextleveluniverse.com, spelt just
763
00:43:56,075 –> 00:43:58,145
like it sounds, nextleveluniverse.com.
764
00:43:59,315 –> 00:44:02,545
The podcast is actually
Next Level University.
765
00:44:03,055 –> 00:44:06,705
So the person with that URL was
charging too much money, so we decided
766
00:44:06,705 –> 00:44:11,250
to do nextleveluniverse.com, which
encapsulates all things next level.
767
00:44:12,500 –> 00:44:16,250
And the podcast is one percent
improvement, holistic self improvement,
768
00:44:16,260 –> 00:44:19,850
health, wealth, life, and love in your
pocket from anywhere on the planet,
769
00:44:19,870 –> 00:44:21,770
every single day, completely free.
770
00:44:21,770 –> 00:44:26,590
And the idea is no matter how hard
your past has been, no matter how
771
00:44:26,599 –> 00:44:30,709
hard your present is, you have a
spotless future that you can take
772
00:44:30,709 –> 00:44:32,579
personal responsibility for right now.
773
00:44:32,580 –> 00:44:36,610
And, and, no, you might not be a
billionaire, but you can make it better.
774
00:44:36,680 –> 00:44:39,990
You can make it better with what you
say, think, do, feel, and believe.
775
00:44:39,990 –> 00:44:44,490
And if you want some guidance, or some
help, or to just go on that journey with
776
00:44:44,500 –> 00:44:47,970
other people trying to get to the next
level, we have a community, we have a
777
00:44:47,970 –> 00:44:51,570
podcast, we have private Facebook group,
we have WhatsApp accountability groups,
778
00:44:51,570 –> 00:44:52,520
we’ve got all kinds of cool stuff.
779
00:44:52,520 –> 00:44:55,030
So you can check out the website,
you can check out the podcast.
780
00:44:55,480 –> 00:44:59,255
And I know that being a part of
a community that’s all trying to
781
00:44:59,255 –> 00:45:01,815
get better is much less lonely.
782
00:45:01,855 –> 00:45:03,405
And I can tell you that from experience.
783
00:45:05,215 –> 00:45:05,495
Ed Watters: Yep.
784
00:45:05,995 –> 00:45:11,134
You know, the, the main theme
is transformation and you really
785
00:45:11,134 –> 00:45:15,355
have to suck it up buttercup
because it happens to all of us.
786
00:45:15,660 –> 00:45:22,080
And once we do suck it up and
we start doing those baby steps,
787
00:45:22,510 –> 00:45:27,180
the world is wonderful and you
will find that out for certain.
788
00:45:28,460 –> 00:45:32,690
Alan, I want to say thank you
for being here today and being
789
00:45:32,710 –> 00:45:34,569
part of the Dead America Podcast.
790
00:45:36,000 –> 00:45:37,020
Alan Lazaros: Thank you for having me.
791
00:45:37,020 –> 00:45:40,180
I really appreciated this
conversation and, uh, it was an honor.
792
00:45:40,620 –> 00:45:40,890
Thank you.
793
00:45:44,790 –> 00:45:46,550
Ed Watters: Thank you
for joining us today.
794
00:45:47,130 –> 00:45:53,380
If you found this podcast enlightening,
entertaining, educational in any way,
795
00:45:54,149 –> 00:46:00,530
please share, like, subscribe, and join
us right back here next week for another
796
00:46:00,539 –> 00:46:03,850
great episode of the Dead America Podcast.
797
00:46:04,230 –> 00:46:09,760
I’m Ed Watters, your host, enjoy
your afternoon wherever you might be.