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To overcome, you must educate.

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Educate not only yourself, but
educate anyone seeking to learn.

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We are all Dead America,
we can all learn something.

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To learn, we must challenge
what we already understand.

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The way we do that is
through conversation.

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Sometimes we have conversations with
others, however, some of the best

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conversations happen with ourselves.

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Reach out and challenge yourself; let’s
dive in and learn something new right now.

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Today we are speaking with Aiden Gabor,
he’s the author of Conflicting Loyalties.

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Aiden is an ex mob enforcer
turned DOJ informant.

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Aiden, could you please
introduce yourself?

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Let people know just a little
more about you, please.

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How you doing?

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My name is Aiden Gabor.

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Um, I grew up in a pretty screwed
up, uh, my childhood and life.

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Um, introduced myself as, you know,
I started off with working with a

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crew and eventually worked for the
DOJ for taking on bad police officers

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and politicians and then finding my
love and finding my spiritual journey

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throughout the process of it all.

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Or somebody that was extremely anti
religious become religious at the

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end.

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Yeah, I find your story very interesting.

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Let’s start off with
your early life, Aiden.

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It’s remarkable how you were young
and you were kind of forced into this

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by the DOJ to become an informant.

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But those early years, what
were those like for you?

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Um, I’m gonna be honest
with you, it was awesome.

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Uh, my dad was an associate
and with a Capo in hand.

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I would start out nine, ten years old,
we would have gatherings, just barbecues

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without, Our mothers and grandmothers
from the old country would come in

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and cook and we would have everything
and we would, you know, we didn’t,

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we learned at early age, respect.

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If you were asked to get
something, get it for them.

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Um, you know, I mean, I was, uh, big for
my age and I would get in those scuffles

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outside with boys that were five, six
years older than me and I would beat up a

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couple of them or, you know, get beat up.

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And in early years of, you know, a couple
of times we’d be wrestling or fighting

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on this gravel, and, uh, got cut up.

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A cop showed up because
there had, you know, somebody

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complained about kids fighting.

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And I’m like, you know, like,
you know, Aiden, come on

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over, tell us what’s going on.

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I’m like, Get the hell out
of here, we’re wrestling.

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And I was getting my ass handed
to me, I was getting beat up.

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And I just told them to get out.

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And, uh, they’re like, come on now,
you know, we know who, I don’t know,

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and then they leave, and we go inside.

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And one day, Eddie, the Capo, he
asked me, Hey, can you stop by

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uh, my, the shop?

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He had a little shop, there was a
car, like, you know, a mechanic shop.

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There was also like a little social
club and stuff they had in there and

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eventually I learned later on in life that
we had other things going on in there.

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And I showed up, I rode my bike, and
he’s like, Hey, will you take this

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package and take it to this place,
drop it off, don’t talk to anybody,

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don’t stop, um, and do not look in it.

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I said, Yes, sir. And I took the
packages and I would bring it to people.

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And I, you know, as you, after time,
after doing this several times, I come

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back, you give me money, twenty, thirty
bucks, I would run into the candy

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store with my buddies and I’d be king.

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You know, we would get thirty
dollars worth of candy.

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And back then, that was a lot of candy.

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And I did this for a while,
and eventually, you know,

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you recognize these people.

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And as I got older, I worked my way up.

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Eddie saw something in me.

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And I started cleaning in the
store, did a little like, um, got to

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where I wasn’t dropping something.

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I’d sweep the store, take garbage out.

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You know, I got into a couple scuffles

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with a couple guys in there, and,
cause they treated me like shit.

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And, um, and I wasn’t, I
was one not to take it.

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And so I just worked my way up, and
eventually Eddie saw something in me.

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So we had a guy there, they put
in the book, his name’s Nicky.

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And Nicky taught me how to use a gun,
how to use an ice pick, on how you

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put the, I mean, back there, you put
this right in the back here, right?

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And you can do this, and, and he told
me, With an ice pick, you could stab

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somebody five or six times really quick.

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Run away, leave it in,
it doesn’t leave prints.

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Never more worried about
that, you can get away.

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And at that time, I’m thinking
there’s something wrong with this guy.

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And taught me how to drive, you know?

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Here I am doing all this and they, I,
Eddie just saw something in me and, and

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eventually I worked my way up to, we go, I
learned that we were collecting from like

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little mom-pop places and little shops.

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I started doing that
with a guy named Dominic.

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And Dominic and I really
cared for each other.

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First time I met Dominic, he
pushed me really hard into the

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wall to get out of the way.

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And I grabbed, uh, a broom handle,
I hit him with it, and then he

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hit me and he turned with a gun.

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And Eddie’s like, No, no, stop,

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this is, uh, you know, Gabor’s kid.

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And they’re like, Oh.

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And he walked away.

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And the first time I went with
Dominic, we’re in the car, and I’m

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in the passenger seat, he punches
me as hard as he can in the face.

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And it was like, you know, you feel
the, like blackness, and all that.

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He’s like, That’s for when you hit
me, we’re not even, but you know,

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that’s, that’s what you get, you know?

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Don’t start your shit.

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Anyway, I learned how to collect, and
then I, I, I became an enforcer of people.

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Because there’s gambling, there’s
prostitution, I wasn’t allowed

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to go by the prostitution because
I was an adolescent, you know?

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With girls, I was learning about
girls at the time, and they, yeah,

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they didn’t want me to go by that.

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And so we ran numbers, we
loaned money, and we collected.

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And then they had a chop
shop, that was a big thing.

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The biggest thing with
Eddie was a chop shop.

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And I learned how to steal cars.

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And I did that.

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My first car I stole, I was fifteen.

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And first of all, when the second, or
the second time I stole a car, some clown

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came up to me to ask me what I was doing.

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He’s gonna call the cops.

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And I kind of tuned him up a little bit
and left and never heard anything on that.

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And then I, I was enforcing.

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And there was a couple of times,
I mean, my most remembered time

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was we were sitting at a, um, deli
outside and this guy is walking

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by and Eddie goes, Hey, that, that
motherfucker owes me twenty grand.

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Or I forget what he said, ten or twenty.

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And I just started running and I would go
up to the guy and I’m like hitting him.

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And I start kicking the crap
out of him this time and

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he’s like, Whoa, whoa, chill.

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And then I’m beating him, beating the
crap out of him and I’m like, You better

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get back or it’s going to get worse.

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And he looked at me, he goes,
You’re eating your sandwich.

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And I’m looking and I’m going, Yeah, it
was a good corned beef, that wasn’t a

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sandwich, I love, this thing’s great.

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But you just beat up a guy eating
your sandwich, are you kidding me?

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He’s like, You get the fuck back,
Joe, you know, go back there.

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And he looked at him and he’s
telling Eddie this, and he goes,

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Well good, we’ll call him Sandwich.

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And I thought, to this
day I hate that name.

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I became Aiden Sandwich.

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Come on, I hate, I hated that name.

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And that’s what they gave me
and that’s what I ran with.

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And I did all that.

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I did all the way up till I was almost
eighteen going on nineteen, actually

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nineteen going on twenty I should
say, because I was a little late.

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And the next thing I know, you know, I
was collecting, I, I, I enforced, did

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everything I was supposed to do, beat up,
I got stabbed a couple times doing this.

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Um, I, uh, I, I, all of a sudden,
Eddie comes to me and says, Hey,

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the FBI just arrested Dominick,
they took Nick, Nick, I think Nick

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got away, I think Nick took off.

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And anyway, he’s like, I’m leaving.

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You need to, Hey, you’ve got to
change, they’re going to arrest you.

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And you’ve got a chance to go play college
football, go make something of yourself.

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And I’m, I wasn’t planning
on it and I’m like, uh, Okay.

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Cause you gotta go because
you have prior offs here.

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So basically we’re done.

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So basically the whole, whole thing
went down for that and I, I went to

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school and that’s, that, that was the
end of my first part of my life or

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the early part when I worked with,
uh, I was running with the crew.

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Yeah, that’s a lifestyle
that many people fear.

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But as you live in that lifestyle of crime
and that activity, it really, it makes

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you a different person that’s for sure.

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Uh, growing up in the seventies myself, I
remember when Rico came out and, you know,

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the big cases during the eighties with
Rico, uh, everyone was terrified at that

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point because it was guilt by association.

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And, you know, everybody was friendly
at that time and everybody knew

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everybody, it was a different time.

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And I really think that during
that timeframe of fear, things

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really shifted in the, not only
loyalties, but communities.

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They, they buttoned up per se.

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What do you think about that, Aiden?

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Oh, absolutely.

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You know, you know, we had, you
know, we worked with the gang, so

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there was no, the crime was nothing.

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Um, you know, they, like, you
know, we were told, Eddie’s

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like, We don’t do drugs.

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And I can’t say the exact words,
but he said, Let the gangs give to

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their, their own community, you know?

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And, but in different words.

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And we worked like, we’d get a
percentage and we did something,

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we didn’t poach, you know?

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We, we, we, we worked kind of together.

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And it was safe back then,
there was no problems.

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You know, everything was, you
could walk the streets at any

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time, um, there was respect.

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You know, that was what I loved about
it, the respect part of it, you know?

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Through everything, you know, I’m going
through, yeah, the minute Rico came in,

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I was the same time frame, and as soon as
that came in, yeah, it changed everything.

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That’s what happened to us.

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You know, FBI just came
and cleaned the house.

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And they hurt more, I think more
communities, yes, where we get money

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from the people, but they were safe.

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You know, once all that ended, it
became a free for all, you know?

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Um, and that’s because, you know, the
government wants it on the table or not.

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It’s, the government wants their money.

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They’re not getting money out of this.

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And that was the whole
thing I’m looking at.

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I mean, the crime part, you’re
going to get that all the time.

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But it’s the greedy part of the
government, and that’s my thinking of it.

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But, you know, I just, I
just, I don’t understand.

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You know, I mean, you’re right.

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The RICO law was, you don’t have
to do anything, you just have to be

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associated with somebody and that was it.

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Yeah, that, that was a big, big point
in, in my history that I remember vividly

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because I remember the fear that ran
through myself because of my activities.

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And it’s the same thing, my family
believed in taking care of business.

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If you wronged, well, you’re going to find
one of us at your door or in your bedroom.

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And, you know, it’s just
how we handled things.

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My brother, you know, that just passed
away recently, uh, he, he spent many

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years in prison for using a hatchet on
somebody instead of the baseball bat.

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You know, the severity of these crimes,
you know, that fear that came in,

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it really did take a lot of that and
put it on the back burner, per se.

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Because I remember it was pretty
open back then, you know, you,

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you knew who you were dealing with
because they demanded that respect.

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And

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you talk quite a bit about respect
in your interviews and I, I love this

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00:13:35,165 –> 00:13:40,875
portion because I really think that’s
what we’re lacking today is respect.

212
00:13:41,444 –> 00:13:48,115
My, my mother and my father
instilled in us, you, you don’t

213
00:13:48,125 –> 00:13:52,235
hit a woman, you respect the
woman, you respect your elders.

214
00:13:52,605 –> 00:14:01,035
And, you know, I really miss those
times and I think a lot of what

215
00:14:01,035 –> 00:14:07,725
occurred in our legal streams
really screwed the family up.

216
00:14:07,785 –> 00:14:14,455
And then, then you got into everyone
calling the cops on everyone and it

217
00:14:14,455 –> 00:14:16,685
really divided the families in a way.

218
00:14:16,835 –> 00:14:18,075
Oh yeah, absolutely.

219
00:14:18,345 –> 00:14:21,109
You know, you know, respect
growing up, that was it.

220
00:14:21,159 –> 00:14:25,129
You know, um, family respect,
that was the way it went.

221
00:14:25,259 –> 00:14:29,909
And nowadays there is no, these
kids nowadays have zero respect.

222
00:14:29,909 –> 00:14:34,530
You know, I get in trouble in my old
age dealing with these kids nowadays.

223
00:14:34,530 –> 00:14:38,855
They talk their shit and I’m not one,
I really didn’t take too much crap.

224
00:14:39,724 –> 00:14:41,925
And you’re right, we
took care of business.

225
00:14:41,944 –> 00:14:47,585
If you, if you wronged family
and or close friends, you’re

226
00:14:47,585 –> 00:14:49,855
expecting my happy face to show up.

227
00:14:50,415 –> 00:14:53,254
And, and, what I used to say
is, I go, Did, Jerry, you beat

228
00:14:53,254 –> 00:14:54,524
up these people, you did this.

229
00:14:54,835 –> 00:14:58,135
You know, yeah, I used a baseball
bat, but we weren’t kinky.

230
00:14:58,355 –> 00:15:02,315
We weren’t rocket scientists, we,
we, we used what we had at hand.

231
00:15:02,315 –> 00:15:06,625
And the best thing I learned is have
a baseball bat, put a mitt and a

232
00:15:06,625 –> 00:15:10,095
ball in your trunk and you cannot
be arrested because you have a

233
00:15:10,415 –> 00:15:11,645
baseball, I am ready to play baseball.

234
00:15:11,654 –> 00:15:11,964
Let me talk.

235
00:15:13,209 –> 00:15:16,999
And I used to, yes, I used a baseball
bat, I like hitting the ankles.

236
00:15:17,270 –> 00:15:21,280
Because when you hit those feet,
you hit the tires, they go down.

237
00:15:21,659 –> 00:15:22,419
When you hit the knees,

238
00:15:22,419 –> 00:15:24,769
they only kind of, they might be
able to get up, it’s going to hurt.

239
00:15:24,839 –> 00:15:28,270
Hit them in the ankles, they’re on
the ground and you got total control.

240
00:15:29,034 –> 00:15:30,724
And that, and it made a different sound.

241
00:15:30,724 –> 00:15:31,444
I liked it.

242
00:15:31,444 –> 00:15:34,304
And that, that was me growing
up, I’m going to admit to it.

243
00:15:34,534 –> 00:15:39,655
And, um, you know, I did other things,
but you were one of the family.

244
00:15:39,655 –> 00:15:44,134
And most of the time, if you see my happy
mug showing up at your place, it wasn’t

245
00:15:44,145 –> 00:15:46,304
because I picked you out just randomly.

246
00:15:46,305 –> 00:15:48,624
It’s because you did
something for me to be here.

247
00:15:48,645 –> 00:15:51,919
You borrowed money and didn’t pay it
back, you did something, you know?

248
00:15:51,920 –> 00:15:57,819
And everybody talks about different
crews, don’t, you know, we did violence

249
00:15:57,819 –> 00:16:02,220
mostly against other crews because
they’re poaching in our territory.

250
00:16:02,730 –> 00:16:05,819
You know, if you’re going to go poach
in somebody else’s territory, do some

251
00:16:05,819 –> 00:16:08,990
business, you better have a good reason
or you’re going to pay the consequences.

252
00:16:09,900 –> 00:16:13,839
And that’s like nowadays, there is
no consequences for what you do.

253
00:16:14,089 –> 00:16:15,249
There is no respect.

254
00:16:15,829 –> 00:16:18,950
There is, and that’s the way these kids
are nowadays, they’re little shits.

255
00:16:19,720 –> 00:16:22,550
And I, I, yeah, big respect.

256
00:16:22,550 –> 00:16:25,970
You know, like I say every
time, I have never said a word

257
00:16:25,970 –> 00:16:27,329
against anybody I ran with.

258
00:16:27,359 –> 00:16:28,280
Anybody in the crew.

259
00:16:28,280 –> 00:16:29,779
I never did anything against them.

260
00:16:30,579 –> 00:16:32,510
If they were to ask me, I would
have told them to get fucked.

261
00:16:32,629 –> 00:16:36,210
But I did things against bad police
officers and bad politicians.

262
00:16:36,905 –> 00:16:39,295
That was what, yes, did
I inform against them?

263
00:16:39,335 –> 00:16:40,385
Absolutely.

264
00:16:40,665 –> 00:16:44,524
But I grew up seeing these people and they
were supposed to be protecting people.

265
00:16:44,954 –> 00:16:49,894
And then in the second part of life, when
the DOJ came up and gave me that lovely, I

266
00:16:50,354 –> 00:16:56,394
wouldn’t say ultimatum, they had basically
a deal I couldn’t refuse at the time.

267
00:16:57,444 –> 00:17:02,355
That, yeah, you know, eventually
I figured I’m doing good.

268
00:17:03,284 –> 00:17:06,735
You know, but I did miss my younger life.

269
00:17:06,775 –> 00:17:10,355
I enjoyed doing it because we
had respect in the neighborhood,

270
00:17:10,425 –> 00:17:11,714
the neighborhoods were safe.

271
00:17:12,385 –> 00:17:14,325
People said, Hey, how you doing?

272
00:17:14,435 –> 00:17:18,144
You know, we, you know, you got a
lot of shit free, but you also had,

273
00:17:18,204 –> 00:17:19,484
like I said, the respect thing.

274
00:17:19,714 –> 00:17:21,234
Yeah, I like that a lot.

275
00:17:21,325 –> 00:17:27,065
And it really appealed to me
when I seen this come across

276
00:17:27,075 –> 00:17:28,625
the desk for the first time.

277
00:17:29,205 –> 00:17:35,335
Uh, the title of your book, you know,
it suggests conflicting loyalties.

278
00:17:36,565 –> 00:17:43,304
Is your loyalty still conflicting or
do you have a better grasp on your

279
00:17:43,325 –> 00:17:47,944
ideas and who you are and what you are?

280
00:17:48,300 –> 00:17:50,090
You know, I do now.

281
00:17:50,500 –> 00:17:51,930
I think spiritually helped me.

282
00:17:51,950 –> 00:17:56,350
But when the conflicting loyalties part
mostly came in is, you know, when the

283
00:17:56,350 –> 00:18:01,070
DOJ came up and used that Rico thing
against me, they’re like, This is a new,

284
00:18:01,140 –> 00:18:04,409
you know, when they show me pictures
of my mother, my father, you know, when

285
00:18:04,409 –> 00:18:07,820
they show pictures of me and my father
with Eddie and a bunch of other guys,

286
00:18:08,259 –> 00:18:09,009
I didn’t care.

287
00:18:09,410 –> 00:18:13,040
But when they show me my mother and
say my mother’s going to go to jail,

288
00:18:13,120 –> 00:18:16,590
if I, unless I did it, that, that
hit me because I’m a mama’s boy.

289
00:18:16,590 –> 00:18:18,310
I was, my mom is past.

290
00:18:18,969 –> 00:18:23,959
And they said, Hey, have you
ever heard this law called RICO?

291
00:18:24,039 –> 00:18:27,749
Well, no, I was young,
it’s a new law out there.

292
00:18:28,139 –> 00:18:31,069
Because you’re a college boy,
go look it up in the, in the,

293
00:18:31,069 –> 00:18:32,419
in the library, you know?

294
00:18:32,449 –> 00:18:35,409
Back then, 70s, you didn’t have that shit.

295
00:18:36,259 –> 00:18:38,020
So I went and found out what it was.

296
00:18:38,080 –> 00:18:39,930
I’m like, Holy shit.

297
00:18:40,740 –> 00:18:45,629
And that, I’m sorry, that’s, that was
my, it killed me the first time I said,

298
00:18:45,629 –> 00:18:47,269
Yes, I’ll do what you need me to do.

299
00:18:47,269 –> 00:18:52,450
And, you know, these two clowns had
me, you know, infiltrate a police

300
00:18:52,450 –> 00:18:54,360
department to find a police officer.

301
00:18:54,380 –> 00:18:56,320
The first one was a hit man.

302
00:18:56,930 –> 00:19:01,470
And what happened with the conflicting
loyalties part is, when you become law

303
00:19:01,470 –> 00:19:05,060
enforcement, after I started, you get
on the academy, and you go through,

304
00:19:05,590 –> 00:19:09,050
there’s a thing called the blue line,
as you start going in law enforcement.

305
00:19:09,660 –> 00:19:13,110
And it’s this blue line, almost
like we had, where you don’t talk

306
00:19:13,120 –> 00:19:14,959
about your brothers and sisters.

307
00:19:15,640 –> 00:19:17,899
If you see something, kind
of keep it to yourself.

308
00:19:18,310 –> 00:19:19,830
You know, that type of deal.

309
00:19:19,879 –> 00:19:21,480
Unless it’s extremely bad.

310
00:19:22,600 –> 00:19:27,800
But my conflicting loyalties part
was, as I’m doing all of this, I’m

311
00:19:27,800 –> 00:19:32,510
thinking to myself, Am I betraying
my brothers and sisters in blue?

312
00:19:33,230 –> 00:19:36,620
And my first, when I first started doing
it, the first one I went after, it took

313
00:19:36,620 –> 00:19:39,380
me over a year and I became a drinker.

314
00:19:39,520 –> 00:19:42,610
And I drank, but I became a
gulper, I guess you could say.

315
00:19:42,610 –> 00:19:49,579
That’s the way this this, idiot
was . And after I put away, when they

316
00:19:49,580 –> 00:19:52,770
got me to work in the department I
grew up in, and since I remembered the

317
00:19:52,770 –> 00:19:55,200
politicians, the commissioners, and

318
00:19:55,615 –> 00:20:00,735
the officers that I saw as a kid taking
the, taking the money, telling them what’s

319
00:20:00,735 –> 00:20:03,775
going on, doing some very bad crimes.

320
00:20:04,295 –> 00:20:09,669
And for, for Eddie that, I thought, you
know, like I said, the DOJ came to me.

321
00:20:09,729 –> 00:20:12,779
It wasn’t to be undercover,
it was just as an informant.

322
00:20:13,250 –> 00:20:17,439
I didn’t have backup so I had to
do all this and no tell anybody.

323
00:20:17,480 –> 00:20:22,240
Don’t you say a word to your parents,
don’t say a word to your wife or anybody.

324
00:20:22,240 –> 00:20:23,230
Or if you do, you go.

325
00:20:23,360 –> 00:20:23,730
That’s it.

326
00:20:23,730 –> 00:20:25,159
The deal’s off, you’re going to jail.

327
00:20:26,060 –> 00:20:29,660
And, you know, as you become a
drinker, it started getting to me.

328
00:20:29,660 –> 00:20:33,150
I started seeing hallucinations
of St. Michael with the

329
00:20:33,160 –> 00:20:34,419
flaming sword coming at me.

330
00:20:34,420 –> 00:20:36,779
He said, I betrayed and slicing at me.

331
00:20:37,549 –> 00:20:44,935
And in that time frame, in that time
frame, I started becoming an alcoholic.

332
00:20:44,985 –> 00:20:47,745
But then I started getting those benders.

333
00:20:48,354 –> 00:20:53,635
And I remember waking up, and I remember,
was I hallucinating about putting a

334
00:20:53,895 –> 00:20:58,725
round in the chamber of 357, spinning
it, and putting it to my head, and

335
00:20:58,725 –> 00:21:01,855
pulling the trigger, or putting it
underneath my chin, pulling the trigger?

336
00:21:02,370 –> 00:21:05,540
And I know of at least 200 or
so times I did it remembering.

337
00:21:05,850 –> 00:21:10,350
And times I wake up with two or three in
the, in, in the gun laying on the floor

338
00:21:10,350 –> 00:21:14,570
next to me, thinking I do this over a
thousand times, trying to kill myself.

339
00:21:15,240 –> 00:21:21,070
And, you know, later, life I’m
learning to God, didn’t want me to die.

340
00:21:21,429 –> 00:21:26,420
You know, and my conflicting loyalties
part was, I’m conflicting against

341
00:21:26,420 –> 00:21:28,210
my brothers and sisters in blue.

342
00:21:28,820 –> 00:21:31,540
I’m taking note of bad police
officers, that was a part.

343
00:21:31,540 –> 00:21:33,229
The politicians, I didn’t give a shit.

344
00:21:34,029 –> 00:21:38,299
But going against police officers,
am I going against the guys?

345
00:21:38,350 –> 00:21:44,090
Because as you walk in their
shoes as a law enforcement, and

346
00:21:44,129 –> 00:21:45,550
you know, I still did the job.

347
00:21:46,320 –> 00:21:51,919
And you get to see, dealing with, what
they would deal with every day in life,

348
00:21:52,530 –> 00:21:53,080
you know?

349
00:21:53,720 –> 00:21:57,560
Um, and people don’t understand
this, let’s defund them.

350
00:21:57,560 –> 00:21:58,920
They don’t do, are you kidding me?

351
00:21:58,920 –> 00:22:00,770
What these men and women do.

352
00:22:01,150 –> 00:22:04,490
It’s like the military, why these
people treat the military personnel

353
00:22:04,490 –> 00:22:08,220
the way they do, law enforcement,
first responders, you know?

354
00:22:08,230 –> 00:22:09,760
What these men and women do for you.

355
00:22:09,760 –> 00:22:14,774
You know, I always talked, I’ve
talked to many military people and,

356
00:22:15,014 –> 00:22:16,495
you know, this is what they get.

357
00:22:16,824 –> 00:22:20,124
They train, kill, kill, kill,
train, kill, kill, kill.

358
00:22:21,125 –> 00:22:24,735
It’s all done with go back and be
a normal person in society after

359
00:22:24,735 –> 00:22:26,235
you’ve seen and did what you did.

360
00:22:27,324 –> 00:22:28,074
Seriously?

361
00:22:29,325 –> 00:22:30,725
That’s how I look at it.

362
00:22:30,774 –> 00:22:35,855
Why do these people have mental, I mean, I
didn’t see the carnage they may have seen.

363
00:22:36,125 –> 00:22:37,205
Have I seen carnage?

364
00:22:37,205 –> 00:22:37,804
Yes.

365
00:22:38,324 –> 00:22:40,485
But have I, you know, been involved?

366
00:22:40,495 –> 00:22:41,105
Yes.

367
00:22:41,400 –> 00:22:44,060
But not the same way these
guys were, and I was very young

368
00:22:44,060 –> 00:22:45,400
when I did a lot of this stuff.

369
00:22:45,860 –> 00:22:47,380
And in law enforcement, you see it.

370
00:22:47,730 –> 00:22:50,249
You see the abuse, you see the
murders, you see everything.

371
00:22:50,920 –> 00:22:55,720
And some people can’t take that
mentally, and I understand it, but they

372
00:22:55,720 –> 00:22:59,170
want you to be a normal, functioning
human being after your shift is

373
00:22:59,170 –> 00:23:01,089
over, or after your tour is over.

374
00:23:01,939 –> 00:23:06,735
And my conflicting, like I said, my
conflicting loyalty was that, you know?

375
00:23:06,824 –> 00:23:10,564
And I became a bad alcoholic
and my buddy Don and Sam saved

376
00:23:10,564 –> 00:23:12,574
my ass with the alcoholism.

377
00:23:12,934 –> 00:23:15,074
Well, thank God for Don and Sam.

378
00:23:15,415 –> 00:23:20,864
You know, it is, it’s interesting you
bring this up about law enforcement.

379
00:23:20,994 –> 00:23:26,365
You know, my whole family was
criminal to the T. But I,I,

380
00:23:26,385 –> 00:23:29,000
I really don’t get into that.

381
00:23:29,000 –> 00:23:37,520
I really looked at what was happening
and I kinda got sick because of it.

382
00:23:37,560 –> 00:23:42,550
And then interestingly
enough, I met my wife.

383
00:23:43,140 –> 00:23:49,960
I was seventeen years old and she
was a Christian and she kind of

384
00:23:49,970 –> 00:23:52,950
stepped in and changed who I was.

385
00:23:53,230 –> 00:23:57,530
And my life hasn’t been
the same ever since.

386
00:23:57,800 –> 00:24:03,140
And I heard that you found that
same type of experience with your

387
00:24:03,169 –> 00:24:04,870
second wife, is that correct?

388
00:24:05,220 –> 00:24:06,050
Yes, yeah.

389
00:24:06,990 –> 00:24:12,000
I was, you know, I was extremely,
I mean, I was an asshole.

390
00:24:12,350 –> 00:24:13,490
I was not a great person.

391
00:24:13,650 –> 00:24:15,350
My first wife, I was not a great husband.

392
00:24:15,350 –> 00:24:16,520
I was not a great father.

393
00:24:17,315 –> 00:24:18,695
I didn’t believe in religion.

394
00:24:19,085 –> 00:24:21,645
I was, I used to joke, I
work for the other guy.

395
00:24:21,965 –> 00:24:22,825
I collect souls.

396
00:24:23,355 –> 00:24:29,325
And I met her and she, she, you know,
she looked at me and accepted me.

397
00:24:29,334 –> 00:24:31,655
And then, you know, we would go out.

398
00:24:32,045 –> 00:24:34,184
And the first several days, I,
you know, I had a friend of mine

399
00:24:34,184 –> 00:24:35,104
say, Hey, you need to go out.

400
00:24:35,105 –> 00:24:35,934
She wants to go out with you.

401
00:24:35,934 –> 00:24:36,755
I go, Seriously?

402
00:24:37,345 –> 00:24:38,545
Why would she want to go out with me?

403
00:24:38,545 –> 00:24:39,454
He goes, I don’t know.

404
00:24:39,455 –> 00:24:40,525
She thinks you’re funny.

405
00:24:41,205 –> 00:24:43,225
You know, I joke around with everybody.

406
00:24:43,284 –> 00:24:45,935
And I said, All right,
I’ll go out with her.

407
00:24:45,995 –> 00:24:49,415
And it was just one of those clicks.

408
00:24:49,725 –> 00:24:52,804
Ed, I’m going to be telling you
that this is kind of a funny story

409
00:24:52,804 –> 00:24:57,814
is, we went out, I didn’t pay for
anything on the first eight dates.

410
00:24:58,834 –> 00:25:02,164
She thought, she probably
thought I was some kind of scam.

411
00:25:02,235 –> 00:25:04,695
Like, we joke about this now.

412
00:25:05,245 –> 00:25:07,605
But she said, she liked me, we went out.

413
00:25:07,965 –> 00:25:11,385
I always had an excuse, I was going
through a divorce, I was, and you

414
00:25:11,385 –> 00:25:15,735
know, she, cause I felt bad for you,
and then eventually you’re like a

415
00:25:15,745 –> 00:25:17,915
fungus, I couldn’t get rid of you.

416
00:25:17,995 –> 00:25:23,225
And, and, she, she understands,
she accepted me for who I

417
00:25:23,225 –> 00:25:24,614
am, and who, what I was.

418
00:25:24,614 –> 00:25:25,034
And, you know,

419
00:25:26,460 –> 00:25:31,010
she may have not gotten me when I was
younger in my prime and fit and all this.

420
00:25:31,010 –> 00:25:33,520
You know, I got ALS,
I’m, uh, falling apart.

421
00:25:33,870 –> 00:25:35,229
I was shot a couple of times.

422
00:25:35,250 –> 00:25:42,010
I mean, she’s getting the, the, the,
uh, used car part, and she accepted it.

423
00:25:43,409 –> 00:25:48,739
And, you know, the funniest thing
about her is, when I started in law

424
00:25:48,749 –> 00:25:59,149
enforcement, I was a young officer, I
arrested a sixteen year old at a bar.

425
00:25:59,949 –> 00:26:01,649
I bring this person to jail.

426
00:26:02,139 –> 00:26:05,639
She’s in the backseat, kind of
crying, but kind of being a bitch.

427
00:26:06,210 –> 00:26:09,869
And I’m trying to talk to her,
she’s really not talking to me.

428
00:26:10,350 –> 00:26:13,650
So, at that time, I took her
picture, took her prints.

429
00:26:14,010 –> 00:26:18,759
And back then, I was making my extra
sentence set for my own files to say,

430
00:26:18,759 –> 00:26:21,780
you know, we get, you know, keep your
own files in case something happens and,

431
00:26:22,280 –> 00:26:23,710
you know, kind of like getting trouble.

432
00:26:24,320 –> 00:26:28,970
You know, I arrested her when
she was sixteen years old.

433
00:26:30,110 –> 00:26:34,620
And then we met again
like fifteen years later.

434
00:26:34,620 –> 00:26:39,610
It’s one of those synchro, I didn’t
realize it till her uncle said

435
00:26:39,610 –> 00:26:46,345
something to me about, Hey, um, hey,
I was, she got arrested at that town.

436
00:26:46,735 –> 00:26:47,785
I’m like, Seriously?

437
00:26:48,495 –> 00:26:49,695
She’s like, Yeah!

438
00:26:49,965 –> 00:26:52,015
We used to live there years ago!

439
00:26:52,395 –> 00:26:53,455
I remember that!

440
00:26:53,545 –> 00:26:56,105
And, and, and she’s explaining
it to me, so I looked it up,

441
00:26:56,105 –> 00:26:57,744
and sure enough, it was me!

442
00:26:58,295 –> 00:27:00,385
I was like, so what’s that, synchranikra?

443
00:27:00,405 –> 00:27:01,474
Whatever the hell they call it.

444
00:27:01,784 –> 00:27:06,125
Yeah, so, that’s where I met her,
but she, she just understood me.

445
00:27:07,130 –> 00:27:09,870
And to this day, she
accepts me for what I am.

446
00:27:09,889 –> 00:27:13,390
And, you know, we click.

447
00:27:13,390 –> 00:27:17,510
We talk every day, we talk every day, of
course, but we talk as much as we can,

448
00:27:17,850 –> 00:27:19,620
and we still say I love you every morning.

449
00:27:19,620 –> 00:27:22,209
And my first wife was like,
you know, Satan’s daughter.

450
00:27:22,750 –> 00:27:25,090
And that’s how I used to joke,
I married Satan’s daughter.

451
00:27:25,229 –> 00:27:28,190
Because she was, she
was just a mean bitch.

452
00:27:29,710 –> 00:27:31,139
But yeah, you’re right.

453
00:27:31,310 –> 00:27:32,650
I’m glad yours is like this too.

454
00:27:32,889 –> 00:27:36,679
You know, except for a few quirks,
even though you may be, you know, a

455
00:27:36,679 –> 00:27:38,679
little bit out there, they accept you.

456
00:27:38,939 –> 00:27:41,840
It’s a beautiful thing when
you find the right woman.

457
00:27:42,179 –> 00:27:47,130
And, and it’s, it’s interesting
how they don’t really change you,

458
00:27:47,130 –> 00:27:49,309
I think you really change together.

459
00:27:49,870 –> 00:27:51,719
You know, that, that’s the big thing.

460
00:27:52,559 –> 00:27:59,010
Writing a book Aiden, you,
you talk about it being therapy.

461
00:27:59,129 –> 00:28:05,104
And I find podcasting therapy
because I, I really don’t have the

462
00:28:05,104 –> 00:28:10,955
talent yet to finish and complete
a book, but I’m, I’m seeking that.

463
00:28:11,915 –> 00:28:18,754
So, so do you, talk to us about
the therapy end of releasing

464
00:28:18,754 –> 00:28:23,825
this through a book or even these
podcasts that you are doing.

465
00:28:24,185 –> 00:28:27,475
You know, I, I, what happened
once, I was having night

466
00:28:27,505 –> 00:28:28,875
terrors and I still have them.

467
00:28:29,315 –> 00:28:32,800
And I was swinging, I was throwing
my wife around, I was punching the

468
00:28:32,800 –> 00:28:38,259
wall, I was punching at some, and
she called Don and Sam and said, Hey,

469
00:28:38,279 –> 00:28:39,780
you guys, this is what he’s doing.

470
00:28:39,800 –> 00:28:42,290
And they came out and
they flew down and saw me.

471
00:28:43,149 –> 00:28:47,673
And Don was like, You know,
dude, come on, you know?

472
00:28:47,673 –> 00:28:49,299
You need to look at this.

473
00:28:49,890 –> 00:28:52,150
And you need to maybe
look at some religion.

474
00:28:52,150 –> 00:28:53,280
I’m like, Go to hell.

475
00:28:53,725 –> 00:28:55,275
And Sam looks at me.

476
00:28:55,305 –> 00:28:58,064
And he goes, You need to listen
to Sam, like, read these books.

477
00:28:58,485 –> 00:29:00,325
And Don’s like, I gotta go.

478
00:29:00,485 –> 00:29:02,725
We’re talking about it,
you know, what’s going on.

479
00:29:02,735 –> 00:29:04,135
He was here for a couple days.

480
00:29:04,425 –> 00:29:08,094
Sam stayed for a couple weeks
and he’s like, Read this.

481
00:29:08,094 –> 00:29:11,644
And there was a Ba’b
Bahá’í, the Bahá’í faith.

482
00:29:12,215 –> 00:29:15,235
And I’m like, I don’t like
reading, but okay, I’ll read this.

483
00:29:15,705 –> 00:29:19,919
And then we started talking and then, he
never knew, you know, I grew up with Sam,

484
00:29:19,949 –> 00:29:22,999
I mean, we grew up in the neighborhood,
we grew up, he never knew this shit.

485
00:29:23,100 –> 00:29:26,399
He goes, I always wrote it off,
but, but I knew your dad did work

486
00:29:26,439 –> 00:29:28,029
for, I didn’t know you were going.

487
00:29:28,110 –> 00:29:29,230
And he’s like, Well, no.

488
00:29:29,440 –> 00:29:32,819
And him and I talked about, you know,
life, because I knew a lot, he goes, Yeah,

489
00:29:32,829 –> 00:29:36,749
I remember some things happening when
we were there, and we were like, Wow.

490
00:29:36,760 –> 00:29:38,350
And he goes, Your life screwed up.

491
00:29:38,360 –> 00:29:39,910
I go, Gee, thanks, I love hearing that.

492
00:29:40,360 –> 00:29:42,340
And he’s just like, You
need to write a book.

493
00:29:42,340 –> 00:29:44,179
I go, Go to hell.

494
00:29:44,479 –> 00:29:45,719
I ain’t writing this book.

495
00:29:46,270 –> 00:29:49,079
I don’t want to because if you
could therapeutically get it all

496
00:29:49,080 –> 00:29:51,190
out, I go, I’m going nuts now.

497
00:29:51,879 –> 00:29:53,790
He goes, Yeah, but you get it all out.

498
00:29:54,405 –> 00:29:56,955
And yes, I wrote the book.

499
00:29:57,205 –> 00:29:59,725
It took a couple years
because it’s a memoir.

500
00:29:59,725 –> 00:30:02,575
Oh, I forgot about that, oh,
yeah, you know, did I have this?

501
00:30:02,875 –> 00:30:04,635
Oh, you know, we also did that, you know?

502
00:30:05,205 –> 00:30:07,265
You remember little parts here and there.

503
00:30:08,115 –> 00:30:13,845
And yeah, I wrote the book
and, and he’s like, isn’t it

504
00:30:13,845 –> 00:30:14,595
helping you therapeutically?

505
00:30:14,595 –> 00:30:15,705
I’m like, No!

506
00:30:16,370 –> 00:30:17,000
It’s not.

507
00:30:17,260 –> 00:30:18,840
But yeah, it is.

508
00:30:19,020 –> 00:30:20,890
You know, it’s one of those yes and no’s.

509
00:30:21,370 –> 00:30:23,870
And he said, You know, do a podcast.

510
00:30:23,880 –> 00:30:24,950
Yes, it’s helping me.

511
00:30:25,330 –> 00:30:27,210
Am I having as many night terrors?

512
00:30:27,500 –> 00:30:31,220
And no, I’m not, which is surprising
me because I’m remembering more

513
00:30:31,540 –> 00:30:32,770
and more of the stuff I did.

514
00:30:32,770 –> 00:30:36,590
I didn’t want to remember
both then being a criminal and

515
00:30:36,590 –> 00:30:38,930
both being in law enforcement.

516
00:30:39,000 –> 00:30:41,860
You know, I always joked
that I was in the dark.

517
00:30:41,890 –> 00:30:44,260
I was in the shadows, my young life.

518
00:30:44,765 –> 00:30:47,325
And I was in the medium
shadows growing up.

519
00:30:47,325 –> 00:30:51,405
And eventually when I found
the Baha’i faith, I came out

520
00:30:51,405 –> 00:30:52,885
of the dark into the light.

521
00:30:53,515 –> 00:30:59,135
And realized, Whoa, you know, the Baha’i
faith, men and women are exactly equal.

522
00:30:59,135 –> 00:31:03,550
Where in some Catholic faiths,
the men, the woman is subservient

523
00:31:03,560 –> 00:31:07,540
to the man, you know, in the
Baptist race, you know, faiths.

524
00:31:07,560 –> 00:31:10,940
And every, I believe everyone’s
equal, I’ve always believed that.

525
00:31:11,000 –> 00:31:14,770
And there’s a lot of things that Baha’is
believe, but I’m like, Well, yeah,

526
00:31:14,830 –> 00:31:19,830
everybody bleeds red, you know, whether
they’re white, pink, black, purple, green.

527
00:31:20,120 –> 00:31:21,170
We all bleed red.

528
00:31:21,170 –> 00:31:23,260
We bleed a different color,
we got some problems.

529
00:31:24,285 –> 00:31:28,655
And that’s how I, that’s,
that’s what I believe in.

530
00:31:28,685 –> 00:31:32,715
And Sam looked at me and goes, So you
were always a Baha’i your whole life.

531
00:31:32,765 –> 00:31:33,835
You just didn’t know it.

532
00:31:34,805 –> 00:31:42,260
And so I started reading and one day I’m
sitting outside, you know, and I get this

533
00:31:42,260 –> 00:31:48,710
one, I’m reading Baha’u’llah’s writing,
and I look up, I get this feeling in me

534
00:31:48,710 –> 00:31:52,100
and I’m like, I’m looking at the sun, it’s
hot out, and I’m thinking, it’s got, it’s

535
00:31:52,100 –> 00:31:53,750
gotta be getting sunstroke or something.

536
00:31:53,750 –> 00:31:54,390
I’m going in.

537
00:31:54,400 –> 00:31:57,315
My wife’s like, Serena’s
like, What’s going on?

538
00:31:57,315 –> 00:31:57,885
I go, I don’t know.

539
00:31:57,885 –> 00:32:01,135
There’s something inside me, I’m
reading Baha’u’llah’s writings.

540
00:32:01,135 –> 00:32:04,095
I got this feeling and all that
fucking bullshit, I hate it.

541
00:32:04,525 –> 00:32:06,285
And she’s like, You’re getting spiritual.

542
00:32:06,285 –> 00:32:07,285
I go, Go to hell.

543
00:32:07,295 –> 00:32:08,605
I’m not getting spiritual here.

544
00:32:09,185 –> 00:32:10,675
This is, I hate this feeling.

545
00:32:10,845 –> 00:32:12,815
Oh, no, that’s what you’re getting.

546
00:32:13,135 –> 00:32:15,175
And I kept reading, you know?

547
00:32:15,175 –> 00:32:19,365
She’s, and then she started, I, I’m not a
great reader so she started reading to me.

548
00:32:20,045 –> 00:32:22,975
And she’s like, See?

549
00:32:23,355 –> 00:32:27,694
And then the Baha’i faith, there’s
a thing called Ruhi, a Ruhi

550
00:32:27,715 –> 00:32:29,245
class, which is a Bible class.

551
00:32:30,005 –> 00:32:35,025
So for three years, my wife did these
Ruhi classes with me twice a week, one

552
00:32:35,025 –> 00:32:37,885
hour twice a week, two hours a week.

553
00:32:38,175 –> 00:32:38,985
And she did it,

554
00:32:38,995 –> 00:32:41,705
she went through it, read
it, did everything with it.

555
00:32:41,765 –> 00:32:46,255
But she never converted from her
Catholic or, you know, Christian

556
00:32:46,255 –> 00:32:49,885
beliefs to, you know, a Bahai.

557
00:32:50,295 –> 00:32:52,795
Even though I did.

558
00:32:52,875 –> 00:32:56,915
But she stayed with me to help me read,
to help me understand for three years.

559
00:32:56,915 –> 00:33:00,655
She never, and after we talked about
our wives understanding us and helping

560
00:33:00,655 –> 00:33:05,225
us, um, that right there showed a lot.

561
00:33:05,365 –> 00:33:09,445
And then me learning spiritually,
you know, and I always joke that, you

562
00:33:09,445 –> 00:33:12,015
know, God never let me kill myself.

563
00:33:12,405 –> 00:33:14,085
I tried, as many times.

564
00:33:14,085 –> 00:33:14,685
I got stabbed.

565
00:33:14,685 –> 00:33:15,365
I got shot.

566
00:33:15,395 –> 00:33:16,815
God said, Yeah, you ain’t dying.

567
00:33:17,385 –> 00:33:19,435
But God’s got a sense of humor.

568
00:33:19,975 –> 00:33:23,705
Because I went through all this shit,
and now I got, and now I got ALS.

569
00:33:24,955 –> 00:33:27,885
So He’s like, Yeah, guess what, sunshine?

570
00:33:28,235 –> 00:33:30,285
The best is yet to come for you.

571
00:33:30,615 –> 00:33:32,405
So, I get it.

572
00:33:32,825 –> 00:33:37,795
You know, He’s got a sense of
humor, and, and, and I accept it.

573
00:33:39,135 –> 00:33:41,035
And I used to be, I didn’t care if I died.

574
00:33:41,055 –> 00:33:43,595
I didn’t care if I died, at all.

575
00:33:43,925 –> 00:33:46,205
Now I want to live because
I’ve learned to help people.

576
00:33:46,345 –> 00:33:49,795
I’ve actually, which I never
thought in a million years, I

577
00:33:49,795 –> 00:33:51,475
do a lot with Special Olympics.

578
00:33:51,705 –> 00:33:53,975
With these special needs men and women.

579
00:33:54,045 –> 00:33:55,905
I mean, they’re not kids,
they’re men and women.

580
00:33:56,215 –> 00:33:59,505
But my God, if the world can
see through their eyes, because

581
00:33:59,505 –> 00:34:00,515
they just want to hug you.

582
00:34:00,775 –> 00:34:01,645
Oh, there’s Aiden.

583
00:34:01,735 –> 00:34:02,845
Oh, there’s my friend.

584
00:34:03,095 –> 00:34:07,215
And they come up, Aiden, oh, they don’t
care about what I did as a living.

585
00:34:07,740 –> 00:34:08,320
They just care.

586
00:34:08,320 –> 00:34:09,430
I’m their, their friend.

587
00:34:09,440 –> 00:34:13,100
You know, they understand if you
hurt that man, that person hurt me,

588
00:34:13,100 –> 00:34:13,750
I don’t like them.

589
00:34:14,150 –> 00:34:15,600
They understand when they get hurt.

590
00:34:15,600 –> 00:34:17,490
But they understand, Hey,
this is a nice person.

591
00:34:17,490 –> 00:34:17,800
I like them.

592
00:34:18,780 –> 00:34:19,710
And I love that.

593
00:34:19,710 –> 00:34:23,800
It’s like, you know,
it’s just a warmth I get.

594
00:34:24,090 –> 00:34:27,180
And I love helping and I love doing
the Special Olympics and seeing,

595
00:34:27,670 –> 00:34:31,580
these kids are never going to
be Olympians, but yes, they are.

596
00:34:31,730 –> 00:34:35,250
In my, in my, in their heart they
are because they’re so, they’re so

597
00:34:35,620 –> 00:34:37,800
awesome when they get that excitement.

598
00:34:37,830 –> 00:34:40,790
They don’t care if they came
in last, they came in first.

599
00:34:41,240 –> 00:34:42,430
I like that a lot.

600
00:34:42,470 –> 00:34:48,600
You know, it was one of my most fulfilling
experiences in life to be able to

601
00:34:48,930 –> 00:34:51,060
work with the mentally handicapped.

602
00:34:51,320 –> 00:34:58,220
And I worked with an agency, through
a work program in high school,

603
00:34:58,290 –> 00:35:01,140
and it was called The Star of Hope.

604
00:35:01,790 –> 00:35:07,870
And, and I learned so much because
of working with those individuals,

605
00:35:08,340 –> 00:35:11,010
it really taught me a lot.

606
00:35:11,290 –> 00:35:12,220
I like it.

607
00:35:13,000 –> 00:35:19,150
So now that you’ve written a
book and you’re still currently

608
00:35:19,150 –> 00:35:21,310
in law enforcement, I believe.

609
00:35:21,510 –> 00:35:29,090
Do you have plans to write another
book with, you know, a theme for

610
00:35:29,100 –> 00:35:33,470
the boys in blue in some form?

611
00:35:33,880 –> 00:35:36,610
You know, I’m, I’m really,
I’m not in law enforcement.

612
00:35:36,610 –> 00:35:41,080
I, I retired after seventeen years.

613
00:35:41,640 –> 00:35:47,310
Um, you know, I, I, I wonder, I always
thought of writing something that would

614
00:35:47,320 –> 00:35:52,180
be like, but you know, right now I
would love to write something to show

615
00:35:52,180 –> 00:35:54,230
the positive side of law enforcement.

616
00:35:54,695 –> 00:35:58,905
But the problem is the positive side
that they do, people don’t care.

617
00:35:59,125 –> 00:35:59,625
I mean,

618
00:36:02,165 –> 00:36:05,175
it’s the blood and guts
that they care about.

619
00:36:05,255 –> 00:36:07,875
And I’ve already done
something kind of like that.

620
00:36:07,895 –> 00:36:11,525
So I’m not sure how I would approach that.

621
00:36:11,555 –> 00:36:12,295
Do I want to write?

622
00:36:12,485 –> 00:36:13,195
Yes, I do.

623
00:36:13,505 –> 00:36:17,725
I mean, my book, I can write
more stories on what I did.

624
00:36:17,745 –> 00:36:23,070
I’d only put a fraction of what I did
my early years, I only put a fraction

625
00:36:23,070 –> 00:36:26,230
of what I did in law enforcement,
and I’ve only done a fraction of

626
00:36:26,680 –> 00:36:30,700
my finding my true love, and the
same thing with the Baha’i faith.

627
00:36:31,200 –> 00:36:33,520
Um, I don’t know.

628
00:36:33,550 –> 00:36:38,100
I was, I would love to write another book,
but I haven’t decided what I would do.

629
00:36:38,630 –> 00:36:44,390
Um, you know, I learned a long
time ago, you know, my mom and dad

630
00:36:44,390 –> 00:36:46,610
were partisans during World War II.

631
00:36:47,420 –> 00:36:50,900
And for, they were in Budapest,
Hungary, so they went through the

632
00:36:51,350 –> 00:36:55,820
Russians, the, the, the Nazis,
and then they went through, you

633
00:36:55,820 –> 00:36:59,150
know, the ’56, the Revolution.

634
00:37:00,120 –> 00:37:04,270
And my dad, a couple years ago,
my dad and I didn’t talk when he

635
00:37:04,270 –> 00:37:05,470
found out I became a flatfoot.

636
00:37:06,010 –> 00:37:07,630
He didn’t talk to me for ten years.

637
00:37:08,270 –> 00:37:11,390
He’s like, You’re being a fucking
flatfoot, get out of my house.

638
00:37:11,580 –> 00:37:13,570
That was the last words for ten years.

639
00:37:13,890 –> 00:37:16,200
We finally talked again, we met someplace.

640
00:37:16,480 –> 00:37:20,240
And him and I had a chat and he
goes, You know, You know, did your

641
00:37:20,250 –> 00:37:21,930
mother ever scare you growing up?

642
00:37:21,950 –> 00:37:22,710
I go, What do you mean?

643
00:37:23,120 –> 00:37:25,860
She scared the hell out of
me my whole life, there was

644
00:37:25,860 –> 00:37:26,980
usually something about her.

645
00:37:27,120 –> 00:37:29,620
And I’m like, Yeah, there’s
always something about my mom.

646
00:37:29,620 –> 00:37:32,030
You know, I’ve only two people
that scared me my whole life.

647
00:37:32,030 –> 00:37:33,030
I’m not scared of no man.

648
00:37:33,360 –> 00:37:35,710
I’m scared of my mother, I’m
scared of my current wife.

649
00:37:36,520 –> 00:37:39,170
And those two are the only two
people scared the shit out of me.

650
00:37:40,260 –> 00:37:42,410
And I’m like, Why?

651
00:37:42,660 –> 00:37:47,000
And my dad’s like, Yeah, you know,
we went against Nazis, you know,

652
00:37:47,010 –> 00:37:48,220
when the Germans were in there.

653
00:37:48,580 –> 00:37:53,760
We went against the Russians when
they invaded in, you know, the ’45.

654
00:37:53,760 –> 00:37:57,540
He said, your father, when the Russians,
or your mother, when the Russians

655
00:37:57,560 –> 00:38:03,170
came in to her and her sisters, what
they did to them, um, never left her.

656
00:38:03,200 –> 00:38:06,560
She was always with her,
she was always haunting her.

657
00:38:06,590 –> 00:38:09,435
Because she always, when storms
came, the Russians would come and

658
00:38:09,465 –> 00:38:11,055
they’re going to do this again to us.

659
00:38:12,065 –> 00:38:16,975
Your mother was so much, that at ten,
eleven years old, she would go out

660
00:38:16,975 –> 00:38:18,735
there and walk out there at night.

661
00:38:18,735 –> 00:38:21,205
There were a couple Russian soldiers
who were like, Come here little

662
00:38:21,205 –> 00:38:22,445
girl, what are you doing out here?

663
00:38:22,455 –> 00:38:25,885
And they were doing, and she
would carry this long spear.

664
00:38:26,275 –> 00:38:28,785
As they talked, she stabbed them
through the neck real fast, both

665
00:38:28,845 –> 00:38:30,015
of them, and take off running.

666
00:38:30,625 –> 00:38:32,995
And if there’s one crawling,
she stabbed him again until he

667
00:38:32,995 –> 00:38:34,195
stopped crawling and run away.

668
00:38:34,945 –> 00:38:36,895
So he said, Your mother used to do that.

669
00:38:36,895 –> 00:38:39,895
I, I can’t remember, a couple
hundred times she just stabbed

670
00:38:39,895 –> 00:38:40,815
these Russian soldiers.

671
00:38:41,195 –> 00:38:44,695
Or she’d take a, and go right up to
a tank and throw a molotov cocktail

672
00:38:44,695 –> 00:38:46,845
into the roof of a tank and jump off.

673
00:38:47,105 –> 00:38:50,085
Where everybody else would run and
throw it from twenty feet away.

674
00:38:50,435 –> 00:38:52,605
She didn’t care, she
wanted to see them suffer.

675
00:38:53,345 –> 00:38:54,725
And your mother had that.

676
00:38:54,725 –> 00:39:00,935
And I remember a long time ago that you
could have that where what your parents

677
00:39:00,935 –> 00:39:06,635
did at a young age can be hereditary for
you at a young age growing up, you know?

678
00:39:06,675 –> 00:39:11,455
And I’m going to be honest, where, I
went through psychological, you know,

679
00:39:11,505 –> 00:39:16,635
evaluation and it came back to, I have
no empathy for people, I really don’t.

680
00:39:17,255 –> 00:39:19,905
And I’m a borderline sociopath.

681
00:39:20,635 –> 00:39:24,675
And, you know, that’s growing up in
the environment I grew up in and, but

682
00:39:25,055 –> 00:39:28,680
no empathy, they can’t figure it out.

683
00:39:28,680 –> 00:39:31,070
To this day, I, I fight bad with it.

684
00:39:31,070 –> 00:39:35,130
When somebody gets hurt, I, I, I don’t,
my, my wife and I can’t watch horror

685
00:39:35,130 –> 00:39:36,730
movies or bad movies because I laugh.

686
00:39:37,090 –> 00:39:40,150
To me, when somebody’s head is getting
snapped off, their arm breaking,

687
00:39:40,150 –> 00:39:41,590
they’re torturing them, I laugh.

688
00:39:41,680 –> 00:39:44,000
I think it’s funny and I don’t know why.

689
00:39:44,410 –> 00:39:46,420
My wife said, I can’t
watch this movie with you.

690
00:39:46,700 –> 00:39:48,779
What do you think, it’s a comedy?

691
00:39:48,780 –> 00:39:49,920
You’re a fucking ass.

692
00:39:50,230 –> 00:39:51,230
And walk away.

693
00:39:51,890 –> 00:39:55,320
And, um, if I see something, Now
that’s not how you break a leg.

694
00:39:55,330 –> 00:39:56,260
Let me tell you what it sounds like.

695
00:39:56,410 –> 00:39:57,870
I’m not listening to your shit.

696
00:39:58,200 –> 00:39:58,940
And walk away.

697
00:39:59,430 –> 00:40:00,830
And I had that.

698
00:40:00,880 –> 00:40:03,330
You know, you were talking
about maybe a book.

699
00:40:04,110 –> 00:40:07,080
I might do something on
partisans growing up.

700
00:40:07,240 –> 00:40:10,410
What my dad, who’s still
alive, could find out more.

701
00:40:10,840 –> 00:40:14,350
Because I asked a friend, I didn’t believe
my dad, I thought he was full of shit.

702
00:40:14,400 –> 00:40:17,120
So I called a friend of theirs
that lives in New York, and I

703
00:40:17,120 –> 00:40:19,330
asked him, he’s like, Who told you?

704
00:40:19,810 –> 00:40:20,830
He goes, your father did.

705
00:40:20,890 –> 00:40:21,230
I go, Yeah.

706
00:40:21,230 –> 00:40:23,780
He goes, Oh, she did,
that’s what, she was crazy.

707
00:40:23,780 –> 00:40:27,970
He said, that was one of the craziest
women’s I ever met, you know?

708
00:40:28,050 –> 00:40:29,260
And he kind of laughed.

709
00:40:29,430 –> 00:40:33,560
Before he passed, he told me all
about, Yeah, yeah, it’s true,

710
00:40:33,710 –> 00:40:35,140
and your dad’s not shitting you.

711
00:40:35,140 –> 00:40:36,810
But besides that, your dad’s still alive?

712
00:40:37,410 –> 00:40:38,810
I’m like, Yeah, he’s still kicking.

713
00:40:38,850 –> 00:40:39,390
Alright.

714
00:40:39,740 –> 00:40:41,570
And that, that was, that was it.

715
00:40:41,570 –> 00:40:46,920
You know, I’m like, Oh my God, you
know, this explains a little bit.

716
00:40:47,080 –> 00:40:49,930
But you know, my mom, growing
up, I think knew what I was

717
00:40:49,930 –> 00:40:51,190
doing, but didn’t give a shit.

718
00:40:53,310 –> 00:40:58,340
So I mean, I’m, I’m thinking
about it, but I’m not sure what.

719
00:40:58,440 –> 00:40:59,320
Yeah, yeah.

720
00:40:59,320 –> 00:41:02,565
I think you have a few more
in you with all that you’ve

721
00:41:02,565 –> 00:41:04,395
been through, that’s for sure.

722
00:41:05,125 –> 00:41:08,605
And they say, once you write
one, you have to write another.

723
00:41:09,035 –> 00:41:14,925
So I’m, I would be very interested
in seeing more come from you.

724
00:41:16,115 –> 00:41:18,825
Could you tell people how to get the book?

725
00:41:18,975 –> 00:41:19,715
Absolutely.

726
00:41:19,715 –> 00:41:23,025
You can get it on
conflictingloyalties.com,

727
00:41:23,495 –> 00:41:24,805
we have everything on there.

728
00:41:24,835 –> 00:41:28,985
Conflictingloyalties.com tells you every
market you get it from, we’ll send you

729
00:41:28,985 –> 00:41:32,625
to it, and that’s your best place to
get it, rather than scrolling through

730
00:41:32,625 –> 00:41:33,945
everything in Amazon and all that.

731
00:41:34,295 –> 00:41:38,465
But in conflictingloyalties.com, it’ll get
you, get on Amazon, it’ll tell you right

732
00:41:38,465 –> 00:41:39,935
there, and it tells you how to get to it.

733
00:41:40,625 –> 00:41:43,845
Aiden, I think you’re
doing marvelous things.

734
00:41:43,905 –> 00:41:49,355
I call people like you bridge
builders, because you’re bridging that

735
00:41:49,395 –> 00:41:52,165
chasm that people need to get over.

736
00:41:52,395 –> 00:41:56,765
And those younger people,
you can help a lot.

737
00:41:56,875 –> 00:42:02,635
And I appreciate a lot what you’re
doing, taking the time to come on

738
00:42:02,645 –> 00:42:05,005
these podcasts and write a book.

739
00:42:05,245 –> 00:42:08,595
It’s all about helping people grow.

740
00:42:08,915 –> 00:42:13,295
And I really find that
very unique about you.

741
00:42:13,825 –> 00:42:18,085
Thank you for being part of the Dead
America Podcast with us here today.

742
00:42:18,945 –> 00:42:20,795
Ed, Thank you so much for having me.

743
00:42:21,105 –> 00:42:23,975
And you know, if you ever need anything
else, let me know, sir. And I’ll let

744
00:42:23,975 –> 00:42:25,435
you know if I write another book.

745
00:42:27,365 –> 00:42:29,835
I would be very excited
to talk to you about it.

746
00:42:30,235 –> 00:42:32,505
And thank you once again, Aiden.

747
00:42:33,575 –> 00:42:34,085
Thank you again, Ed.

748
00:42:34,085 –> 00:42:36,195
You have a great day and be safe, sir.

749
00:42:37,505 –> 00:42:38,405
You also, sir.

750
00:42:41,905 –> 00:42:43,645
Thank you for joining us today.

751
00:42:44,245 –> 00:42:50,495
If you found this podcast enlightening,
entertaining, educational in any way,

752
00:42:51,255 –> 00:42:57,635
please share, like, subscribe, and join
us right back here next week for another

753
00:42:57,665 –> 00:43:00,965
great episode of the Dead America Podcast.

754
00:43:01,365 –> 00:43:06,725
I’m Ed Watters, your host, enjoy
your afternoon wherever you might be.