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Award winning truth cuts through the haze,

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confronts the darkness
in these end times days.

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A single match struck against the fear,
hope ignites drawing redemption near.

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Can you feel the tremble in the ground?

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A buried heartbeat making sound.

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We all live in

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Dead

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America, but the dawns
creeping across the Panama.

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This dead awakens, change
begins, from broken places

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hope unpins.

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Yeah, we all live in Dead America.

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One healing spark starts the pyre,
burning brighter, taking it higher.

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Today, we’re speaking with Garret Biss.

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He is a retired Marine Corps pilot
and it’s gonna get interesting.

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Garret, could you please
introduce yourself?

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And let people know all about you, please?

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Yeah, certainly.

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Garret Biss from, uh, Eastern North
Carolina presently, and as you mentioned,

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I’m a retired Marine Corps pilot.

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And for the last ten years, I can’t
believe it’s, almost been eleven

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years since I retired, I’ve been
focusing on working in the addiction

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recovery industry as a coach, and
as a presenter, and as an advocate.

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And specifically looking at the veteran
population and some unique challenges

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that veterans all go through, which
unfortunately leads a, um, a, a higher

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percentage of veterans to mental health
and substance related challenges.

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And, uh, and, and most sadly,
I guess is this very high

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suicide rate that we’re seeing.

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Which unfortunately is not going in
the correct direction despite all

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of the funding and the awareness and
everything that’s being done towards it.

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So that’s really where I’m
focused, is on trying to

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identify like, what are the gaps?

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What are the services that are
mismatched to the veterans?

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What are the things that we can do to
better serve, uh, support and serve those

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veterans who have served our country?

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So I’m excited to dig into it and
see what you’d like to know about it.

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Well, first off, Garret, thank you
for your service to the country.

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It’s always a pleasure having
veterans on speaking about veteran

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things because veterans protect
our system and our livelihood.

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So I am always honored to have veterans on
the show, no matter their rank or title.

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So the thing that really interests me
is that leap from twenty-two a day up

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to forty-four a day, veterans losing
their lives, taking their own lives.

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Could you touch on that and tell us
a little more about that, please?

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Yeah, certainly.

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So some of the initial numbers and
reporting we’re seeing was between

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seven to seventeen to twenty-two a day.

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But when they realized, when they kind
of expanded the scope and looked at

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the needless loss of veterans lives and
they started to incorporate accidental

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overdoses, accidents due to high risk
behaviors, or veterans acting out in

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a way as a coping mechanism or as a
cry for help, and acting out in ways

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or doing certain activities that maybe
they weren’t trying to take their

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own life, but they certainly weren’t
doing much to not take their own life.

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So we, you know, we look at people that
are, that launch off their motorcycle

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at 120 miles an hour, or they’re, you
know, getting into, um, uh, chemically

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induced accidents in their vehicles.

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Maybe they didn’t set out that day
to harm themself, but they kind of

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lost everything inside that was, that
they felt was worth fighting for.

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The sense of hope that things
were gonna get better, so they

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weren’t really doing as much.

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And when we incorporate all these
other, um, needless deaths in the

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veteran community, and then sadly
that number does reach higher into

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the forties or forty-four a day.

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That’s alarming.

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And, and it’s kind of sad that we
allow our veterans to come home,

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and during this transition period
that you highlight effectively, we

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allow this disruption in their lives.

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And I, I’ve listened to a few of
the podcasts that you’ve done.

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And one of the gentlemen brings up the
issue about individuals coming home,

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they have this like great period of,
you know, reacquaintance with everyone

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and then they find this emptiness
because they are no longer serving.

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And that service, it holds the glue
of their personality, their identity.

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And when that’s lost,
it’s pretty disruptive.

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And talk to us about that disruption.

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Yeah, certainly.

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So there’s a major disruption that happens
and I’m really looking at that transition

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from military service to the last day
that somebody takes off their uniform.

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And as I, I talk about it in my, in a
TEDx talk that I did last year called

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the Unspoken Trauma That All Veterans
Face and really, we look at some of the

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fundamental human needs that we have.

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You know, veteran, you know,
veterans are humans also, even

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though sometimes they might not, uh,
seem so if you, if you coordinate

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or communicate with some of them.

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But the truth is, we all have
the same fundamental human needs.

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We have a need for connection, we
have a need for a sense of belonging,

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we have a need to be able to show
up in a way that we can be an

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authentic representation of ourself.

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And then what you touched
on is we also have this real

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fundamental need for meaning.

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So I used to understand or think of
meaning as, Okay, you know, it’s,

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it’s, it’s, uh, nice to have, it
can provide some context to our

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life if we have a sense of meaning,

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maybe we get a, a little bit
of inspiration from that.

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But what I’ve come to really understand
and appreciate is that that role

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of meaning in our life is also what
provides our capacity to endure

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suffering, it’s having a sense of
meaning, it’s, it’s, it’s knowing

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why you’re going through a struggle.

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That allows us to leverage our strengths
and really lean into our full capacity

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to deal with difficult and challenging
times that we’re going through.

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This is true of veterans and
really it’s true of everybody.

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If you think back to some major goal
that you have or something that you

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were trying to achieve, if you were just
trying to do it for some arbitrary reason

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or no reason at all, whether it’s lose
ten pounds, save a thousand dollars,

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um, you know, read a, read a book,

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if you don’t have a certain meaning
associated with that, then our

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capacity to lean into that challenge
to be uncomfortable for a little bit

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and to, and to ultimately achieve
that goal is greatly diminished.

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Also, whenever we have to embrace a time
of struggle or suffering, our natural

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capacity as an individual greatly
exceeds how we operate on a day to day.

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So if you’ve ever taken care of a young
child, an infant, or a sick, elderly,

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loved one, it requires of you doing some
certain things, dealing with less sleep,

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having more things to manage, a lot
more concerns and stress on your mind.

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But because there’s such important
meaning associated with what you’re

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doing, you have that capacity to do it.

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If we take away that meaning then
an individual’s ability to navigate

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and to survive and cope with
that struggle is also taken away.

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And the, and I was having a
conversation last week and somebody

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pointed out this relationship
between suffering and struggling.

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You know, we all go through
periods of suffering in our life.

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There’s going to be some hardships
that we’re going to face.

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The difference between suffering
and struggling, it can be the same

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challenge, it can be the same friction,
but if we’re struggling, that means

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that we have a sense of meaning
associated with that suffering.

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If we take away that sense of meaning,
now we’re just in that moment and we’re

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suffering and we’re feeling pain and
discomfort with no real context or reason

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for that, uh, for that, that distress.

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So once we’ve taken away that sense
of meaning, and for veterans, we, you

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know, many individuals, they join the
military for that profound sense of

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meaning that they get from serving
something that’s greater than themselves.

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And with this very strong and
profound sense of meaning, uh, service

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members have this capacity to go into
difficult environments, to do difficult

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things, to work extremely hard at
protecting and serving our country.

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And when that sense of meaning is taken
away or that uniform is taken off, then

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that capacity to endure that suffering
and the normal challenges, the, the

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ups and downs of life that we’re all
going to experience, that capacity

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to withstand that also goes away.

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And I think this is a major factor
that leads so many veterans to major

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mental health and substance related
struggles when that uniform comes off.

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Because the same ups and downs that
you’re going to face, everybody goes

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through financial challenges, relationship
challenges, health challenges, um,

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existential challenges, everybody
goes through those normal things.

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However, when you’re wearing that
uniform and your life as a whole has

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this very strong context and this
very strong sense of meaning, it’s

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easy to live through and even thrive
through some of those challenges.

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However, when you remove that context,
you remove that overall, that, that

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umbrella sense of meaning in your life.

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Then the ability to overcome
some of those same challenges

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that you were able to navigate in
the past, that can also go away.

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Yeah.

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But, you know, it’s very interesting,
uh, when you’re in the military,

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it’s like a brotherhood, a community.

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And when you step back into the civilian
world, there’s a disconnect with the

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community because it runs different.

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You know, there’s a
separation, if you will.

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And I noticed both in my father, and
my oldest brother, and, and my cousin

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also a touch of the alcohol abuse
after coming back and that disconnect

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and trying to regain the trust in
the community, I guess, if you will.

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So I, I really see there’s this
need for the community to understand

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where the veterans are coming
from and, and we lack education.

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And it takes people like you, Garret,
to come up and say, Hey, this is

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what’s happening in this world.

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Because even when you come out and
you’re dealing with the VA and, you know,

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dealing with doctor appointments, all of
these, it takes a lot of patience and,

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you know, stand down and just wait time.

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And in, in the world out here,
we want it now, now, now.

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So there is this disconnect between
civilians and veterans that are

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no longer active service, but
they served for so many years.

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How do we get that connection back?

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Because we’ve witnessed Vietnam, you
know, as a good example, those soldiers

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went over to do a job for us, regardless
of the politics behind it, and they got

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trapped in the political nightmares.

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And I’m seeing things today that
I’m not liking and I’m hoping

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this isn’t going to reoccur.

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What’s your thoughts on that?

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Yes.

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A great question, a great point.

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So I think to help bridge that gap
between the veterans and the civilian

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community, it just requires a lot
more conversations about this.

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I mean, anytime we don’t understand
something, then we can kind of push

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it off or just, you know, other,
you know, other people, um, and, and

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think that the problem isn’t something
that we can do anything about.

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So that was another reason that I, that I
created that short TEDx doc was not just

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to help civilians understand what veterans
have gone through, which is extremely

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important, but also to help veterans
understand what they’re going through.

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So as they feel that void emerge inside
of them and as they feel this pain or

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this discomfort, that they have some
context for what’s going on to them

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and within them that is creating this
lack of connection or this lack of,

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you know, sense of, sense of positive
identity really is what it comes to.

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And then for the, for the civilian
community to also see and understand

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what veterans are going through.

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So one of the beautiful things about
our country is there’s more than

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43,000 nonprofits in our country
that are, that are focused on

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serving veterans in some capacity.

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You know, there’s many, a, a vast
array of different kinds of programs.

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But one of the negative consequences
of that is that we have 43,000

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microphones out there all
saying and sharing a message.

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Understandably, they gotta raise money
and they gotta raise support for their

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cause, but they’re sharing a message that
veterans are somehow broken or defective,

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or they’re, they’re damaged in some
way, therefore they need our support.

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So I understand that, I
run a couple of nonprofits.

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I understand that, you know, why that
message is important, and it’s true.

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And there are some veterans
that are broken and damaged

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and they need some support.

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But what also happens is every veteran,
every, of the seventeen to eighteen

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million veterans, is constantly hearing
this message that, Hey, you’re, you know,

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you’re somehow broken, you’re messed up.

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Um, so that, that creates a challenge
and it also creates this brand image in

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the civilian’s mind of what a veteran
is, and maybe how you approach or

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don’t approach a veteran, or, uh, you
know, maybe what they’re going through.

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And then there’s another challenge that
really, um, that, that further enforces

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this is in the veteran community,
uh, in the service member community.

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We can be very adept at downplaying
some of the struggles that we’re

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going through, especially while
you’re wearing the uniform.

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You never wanna be somebody that
draws attention or draws resources

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00:13:49,604 –> 00:13:53,324
so they tell you to suck it up and
just keep going on with the mission.

214
00:13:53,415 –> 00:13:56,025
And I understand it, in that
context, why that can be important.

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00:13:56,265 –> 00:14:00,525
But when you develop this trait or you
develop this, um, this characteristic and

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00:14:00,525 –> 00:14:04,964
you carry that through to the civilian
world, then you also continue to downplay

217
00:14:04,964 –> 00:14:07,484
some of the struggles and some of the
suffering that you’ve been through.

218
00:14:07,905 –> 00:14:12,285
Um, you can also see that as a reflection
of your own sense of self-worth if,

219
00:14:12,314 –> 00:14:16,035
hey, if I can’t, if I can’t endure
this suffering, then what does that

220
00:14:16,035 –> 00:14:17,895
say about my value as an individual?

221
00:14:18,344 –> 00:14:20,834
Uh, so there’s this interesting
relationship that we have in the

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00:14:20,834 –> 00:14:25,545
military, and this is, you know, is
society, uh, wide, is that we look at

223
00:14:26,535 –> 00:14:32,385
one’s capacity to endure suffering as it
relates to the value of that individual.

224
00:14:32,385 –> 00:14:36,525
So an example would be some of the service
members that we revere and respect the

225
00:14:36,525 –> 00:14:41,115
most are those special operators, whether
it’s the Seals, or the Rangers, or Delta.

226
00:14:41,115 –> 00:14:43,815
And one of the things that we know
to be true about these individuals

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00:14:44,115 –> 00:14:47,205
is that they go through some very
difficult and challenging things.

228
00:14:47,205 –> 00:14:50,355
They go for long periods of time with
no sleep, with no food, they can operate

229
00:14:50,355 –> 00:14:51,735
in the most austere environments.

230
00:14:51,975 –> 00:14:55,785
So part of the respect that we have for
them is their demonstrated capacity to

231
00:14:55,995 –> 00:14:59,500
endure tremendous amount of suffering
and still be effective at what they do.

232
00:15:00,780 –> 00:15:05,189
The cost of this is, this creates this
unfair relationship in our mind, if

233
00:15:05,189 –> 00:15:09,870
it’s spoken or not spoken, that there is
somehow some correlation between one’s

234
00:15:09,870 –> 00:15:14,370
ability to endure suffering and the
value that they have as an individual.

235
00:15:14,699 –> 00:15:19,530
So again, if we carry this understanding
or this lens beyond the military

236
00:15:19,530 –> 00:15:23,339
service, this is another trap or a
major barrier that keeps veterans

237
00:15:23,339 –> 00:15:27,599
from reaching out for that support or
expressing some of the, the truths about

238
00:15:27,599 –> 00:15:28,859
the journey that they’re going through.

239
00:15:29,459 –> 00:15:32,579
Because they might feel that if, hey,
if I admit that I’m suffering and

240
00:15:32,579 –> 00:15:35,520
I can’t endure this struggle that,
then what does that say about me?

241
00:15:35,520 –> 00:15:38,670
Maybe I’m, maybe I am weak,
maybe I am defective, maybe I’m

242
00:15:38,670 –> 00:15:40,319
not deserving of that attention.

243
00:15:40,500 –> 00:15:43,560
And then there’s also a tremendous
amount of comparison that bleeds into

244
00:15:43,560 –> 00:15:47,430
this as well as veterans get out and
they struggle and they’re like, you

245
00:15:47,430 –> 00:15:50,189
know, I don’t wanna take advantage
of resources that are really maybe

246
00:15:50,189 –> 00:15:51,660
designed best for somebody else.

247
00:15:51,660 –> 00:15:54,479
Like, I know friends that lost
limbs or lost lives, or they were

248
00:15:54,479 –> 00:15:58,290
in gunfights, or they were in,
um, experienced IED explosions.

249
00:15:58,995 –> 00:16:02,175
Who am I if I didn’t experience
those things to take advantage of

250
00:16:02,175 –> 00:16:06,135
any of these resources and, you know,
maybe it’s gonna jeopardize somebody

251
00:16:06,135 –> 00:16:07,605
else’s ability to get that help.

252
00:16:07,965 –> 00:16:11,505
So we can, as veterans, we can downplay
a lot of the struggling that we’re going

253
00:16:11,505 –> 00:16:14,355
through, which is again, why it’s so
important to have conversations like this

254
00:16:14,355 –> 00:16:18,105
because it’s important for veterans to
be able to hear other veterans talking

255
00:16:18,110 –> 00:16:19,605
about the journey and the experiences.

256
00:16:20,025 –> 00:16:22,965
What I really truly understand, and
this is how I ended that TEDx talk,

257
00:16:22,965 –> 00:16:26,685
was that regardless of what a service
member experiences while they’re in

258
00:16:26,685 –> 00:16:30,795
the military, that transition from
military service itself can and is

259
00:16:30,795 –> 00:16:32,775
often, can be, and is often traumatic.

260
00:16:33,165 –> 00:16:36,285
So regardless of whether you deployed
ten times, deployed one time, or didn’t

261
00:16:36,285 –> 00:16:39,734
deploy at all, regardless of whether
you’re in firefights, or ID explosions,

262
00:16:40,094 –> 00:16:45,285
or not, that loss of connection, the loss
of sense of belonging, that brotherhood,

263
00:16:45,285 –> 00:16:49,125
that sisterhood that you mentioned, the
loss of that sense of meaning, the loss

264
00:16:49,125 –> 00:16:51,135
of the ability to just show up as you are.

265
00:16:51,135 –> 00:16:53,714
I mean, one of the things that’s so
profound about having this strong

266
00:16:53,714 –> 00:16:57,915
tribe or this strong sense of belonging
is for all the things that you can

267
00:16:57,915 –> 00:16:59,835
communicate without having to say a thing.

268
00:17:00,225 –> 00:17:03,405
All the things that somebody else in your
tribe knows about you, that you don’t have

269
00:17:03,405 –> 00:17:07,635
to explain or communicate, or dig into
because they are from, you know, they,

270
00:17:07,635 –> 00:17:10,545
they’ve gone through similar experiences,
so they just get you, you know, we all

271
00:17:10,545 –> 00:17:14,685
wanna be in, uh, in, in relationships
where we feel other people get us.

272
00:17:15,015 –> 00:17:17,685
And that’s a major challenge for those
service members, once you take off

273
00:17:17,685 –> 00:17:22,425
that uniform, trying to assimilate
into an, into a community or into an

274
00:17:22,425 –> 00:17:25,980
organization where they don’t have
a similar background, a similar, um,

275
00:17:26,010 –> 00:17:28,020
sense of values, beliefs in many ways.

276
00:17:28,680 –> 00:17:32,400
That, that makes it very difficult
to reestablish that deep and

277
00:17:32,400 –> 00:17:33,660
profound sense of connection.

278
00:17:34,590 –> 00:17:36,570
Yeah, it’s very interesting.

279
00:17:36,570 –> 00:17:44,910
I remember back when I was a child,
early seventies, we used to go to

280
00:17:45,000 –> 00:17:51,570
the Veterans of Foreign War, the
BFW Hall, and they would have these

281
00:17:51,570 –> 00:17:57,525
great, you know, get togethers,
community picnics, and everything.

282
00:17:57,975 –> 00:18:03,195
And all the families showed up and it
was a wonderful thing even though there

283
00:18:03,195 –> 00:18:08,625
was destructive behaviors going on,
the alcohol, the smoking, all that.

284
00:18:09,225 –> 00:18:15,105
Within that system, there was still
a sense of community back then.

285
00:18:15,105 –> 00:18:19,455
And I, I really don’t see
veterans displaying that now.

286
00:18:21,764 –> 00:18:26,625
Can you see anything that points
to the reason why they don’t

287
00:18:26,625 –> 00:18:30,615
wanna bring their families into
an atmosphere like that anymore?

288
00:18:31,335 –> 00:18:31,575
Yeah.

289
00:18:31,575 –> 00:18:34,125
So a couple different reasons
and, and every Veteran’s journey

290
00:18:34,125 –> 00:18:35,355
is gonna be a little unique.

291
00:18:35,355 –> 00:18:38,955
But some of the things that I experienced,
for one, when I retired from the

292
00:18:38,955 –> 00:18:44,070
Marine Corps, I had this, this huge
desire to go figure out who I was.

293
00:18:44,250 –> 00:18:47,010
Like I’d spent seventeen years
knowing who Sergeant Biss was and

294
00:18:47,010 –> 00:18:49,830
Captain Biss was, but I didn’t know
who Garret was, not as an adult.

295
00:18:50,159 –> 00:18:54,179
So part of me wanted to really separate
from that and go kind of find my way as

296
00:18:54,179 –> 00:18:56,219
a, as, you know, in the civilian world.

297
00:18:56,879 –> 00:18:59,520
It’s only been the last couple of
years that I’ve understood that

298
00:18:59,520 –> 00:19:03,389
journey was really a necessary path
for me to gain some experience and

299
00:19:03,389 –> 00:19:06,030
some insight so I could come back
and serve the veteran community.

300
00:19:06,030 –> 00:19:10,080
But that was a very real kind of driver
or motivation for me when I first got out.

301
00:19:10,409 –> 00:19:12,870
There’s another big
challenge when you get out.

302
00:19:12,870 –> 00:19:16,889
You’re kind of in this weird In between
zone where you know that you’re no longer

303
00:19:16,889 –> 00:19:21,800
a service member, you don’t, you’re not
still wearing that uniform, but you also

304
00:19:21,800 –> 00:19:25,815
don’t, you don’t believe that you’re
part of this community that you’ve always

305
00:19:25,815 –> 00:19:29,655
seen as, you know, separate from the
military community, the veteran community.

306
00:19:29,655 –> 00:19:35,745
So I grew up with images of VFWs,
and, and, uh, and, uh, MOAs, or some

307
00:19:35,745 –> 00:19:39,285
other, you know, DAV organizations
and I was like, Oh, those are just

308
00:19:39,285 –> 00:19:43,605
all the old guys that fought in, you
know, uh, operations that I have no

309
00:19:43,605 –> 00:19:45,555
idea what, what, what it was about.

310
00:19:45,555 –> 00:19:48,225
And then may, maybe they served
in a different service than I was.

311
00:19:48,555 –> 00:19:51,405
So I never felt like there was much
connection there, that was just a

312
00:19:51,405 –> 00:19:52,995
belief that I had when I came out.

313
00:19:53,025 –> 00:19:55,605
And I understand why a lot of other
veterans find that it’s like, Oh,

314
00:19:55,605 –> 00:19:58,425
my whole tribe now is ripped away
from me and I’m separated from it.

315
00:19:58,950 –> 00:20:02,670
Yet, I don’t see myself yet as somebody
that belongs to this other tribe.

316
00:20:02,880 –> 00:20:07,770
So fortunately there are some, some,
some newer organizations that are really

317
00:20:07,770 –> 00:20:12,510
standing up for these post 9/11 veterans
and some of the younger generations

318
00:20:12,510 –> 00:20:15,480
so that they can create an environment
where they feel a little bit more,

319
00:20:15,480 –> 00:20:20,250
uh, seen and, and welcomed and, uh,
and they can interact with a community

320
00:20:20,250 –> 00:20:21,660
that’s a little bit more like their own.

321
00:20:21,870 –> 00:20:24,570
But I think that’s, you know, that’s
part of those drivers is, one, not

322
00:20:24,570 –> 00:20:27,420
feeling like you’re part of the veteran
community yet, even though you are.

323
00:20:27,764 –> 00:20:31,965
Um, still feeling like you’re part
of the tribe that you just left and,

324
00:20:31,965 –> 00:20:36,675
and therefore not really having that
comfort to navigate into this new place.

325
00:20:36,675 –> 00:20:37,965
I mean, it’s a very uncomfortable time.

326
00:20:37,965 –> 00:20:41,024
Anytime somebody goes through
something traumatic or very, uh, um,

327
00:20:41,084 –> 00:20:45,044
uh, or very stressful, one of the
things that we do as individuals is

328
00:20:45,044 –> 00:20:46,754
we kinda get into a survival state.

329
00:20:46,995 –> 00:20:50,504
And when you’re in a survival state,
you’re not looking at, you know, a lot of

330
00:20:50,504 –> 00:20:54,375
our higher cognitive functioning, a lot of
our brain functioning, a lot of our wisdom

331
00:20:54,645 –> 00:20:56,745
that we, it becomes inaccessible to us.

332
00:20:57,195 –> 00:20:59,895
Because our body, our mind,
all of our senses are primarily

333
00:20:59,895 –> 00:21:01,635
focused on just threat avoidance.

334
00:21:01,635 –> 00:21:04,695
So detecting things that could be
potential threats and trying to avoid it.

335
00:21:04,935 –> 00:21:08,324
And also when you’re in that state,
you don’t wanna jeopardize anything.

336
00:21:08,324 –> 00:21:12,794
So this ability to take action
or, or try some new things can

337
00:21:12,794 –> 00:21:14,145
also be limited or inhibited.

338
00:21:14,745 –> 00:21:18,705
Because in that fear state or in that
survival state, like you just, you don’t

339
00:21:18,705 –> 00:21:21,645
wanna pull out that Jenga piece that’s
gonna make everything come crashing down.

340
00:21:21,645 –> 00:21:23,925
So it can make a lot of
veterans really stuck.

341
00:21:23,955 –> 00:21:26,265
And that’s what, that’s one of the things
that motivates some of the work that

342
00:21:26,265 –> 00:21:29,985
I do is I see a lot of veterans that
go into traditional mental health or

343
00:21:29,985 –> 00:21:34,335
treatment programs, yet they don’t seem
to be getting the same value or the same

344
00:21:34,335 –> 00:21:38,985
outcomes as many of the participants
that those programs were designed for.

345
00:21:39,254 –> 00:21:43,365
And I think a lot of that is veterans,
uh, what they’re receiving doesn’t

346
00:21:43,365 –> 00:21:45,135
feel like it maps to their experience.

347
00:21:45,135 –> 00:21:48,615
You know, they’re in, in groups, or
in rooms, or in treatment environments

348
00:21:48,825 –> 00:21:52,815
that are really designed for a
non-veteran population most of the time.

349
00:21:53,115 –> 00:21:55,665
So a lot of the things that are
addressed or shared or the common

350
00:21:55,665 –> 00:21:59,205
concerns and challenges is not,
doesn’t map or doesn’t resonate with

351
00:21:59,205 –> 00:22:00,705
the common challenges of the veterans.

352
00:22:00,885 –> 00:22:04,004
So that’s where the work that I’m doing
is, I’m trying to find and, and bridge

353
00:22:04,004 –> 00:22:07,815
that gap, um, to provide some programming.

354
00:22:07,815 –> 00:22:10,695
And that’s what I’m working on, is
providing programming and support

355
00:22:10,695 –> 00:22:14,475
services that compliment what a veteran
might receive in their treatment,

356
00:22:14,475 –> 00:22:17,805
or in their care, or their clinical
setting so that they can be more

357
00:22:17,805 –> 00:22:20,775
receptive to all the value and all
the services that are out there.

358
00:22:21,764 –> 00:22:26,145
Have you approached the VA
and, you know, outline some

359
00:22:26,145 –> 00:22:28,004
of these concerns with the VA?

360
00:22:28,679 –> 00:22:29,010
Yeah.

361
00:22:29,010 –> 00:22:32,550
I, I’ve reached out to them a little
bit and, and in doing so, I also had

362
00:22:32,550 –> 00:22:35,820
an opportunity to start working with
some justice involved veterans, uh,

363
00:22:35,820 –> 00:22:37,409
in a small group down in Georgia.

364
00:22:37,679 –> 00:22:40,980
So I got an opportunity to, to meet with
and to share some of the programming

365
00:22:40,980 –> 00:22:43,500
that I use in a non-veteran environment.

366
00:22:43,845 –> 00:22:47,265
Uh, one of the other things I do is
I run a long-term recovery resident.

367
00:22:47,265 –> 00:22:51,405
So it’s a sober living environment with,
uh, care and support and mentorship and

368
00:22:51,405 –> 00:22:54,735
peer support services for individuals
that are seeking long-term recovery.

369
00:22:54,885 –> 00:22:57,525
And some of the things that I shared
with them and some of the many

370
00:22:57,525 –> 00:23:00,645
things that I was introduced to that
helped me in my journey in recovery,

371
00:23:00,945 –> 00:23:02,955
um, I was able to provide
that to the veterans.

372
00:23:02,985 –> 00:23:07,545
And, and, and it was very, uh, affirming
of some of the things that the, some

373
00:23:07,545 –> 00:23:12,240
of the gaps that I had presumed and,
um, was, was very well received.

374
00:23:12,240 –> 00:23:14,700
So now I’m working on trying to
expand that, how do I get this to

375
00:23:14,700 –> 00:23:16,110
more justice involved veterans?

376
00:23:16,139 –> 00:23:19,320
And the primary reason to focus on
justice involved veterans is I see

377
00:23:19,320 –> 00:23:23,340
them as a higher risk subset of
an already high risk population.

378
00:23:23,580 –> 00:23:26,800
You know, the veteran population as a
whole, the, the seventeen to nineteen

379
00:23:26,820 –> 00:23:30,870
million veterans that are out there
and the 250,000 new veterans, um, that

380
00:23:30,870 –> 00:23:34,470
take that uniform off every year, as
a population, they’re at least twice

381
00:23:34,470 –> 00:23:37,650
as likely to deal with a mental health
challenge or struggle with addiction.

382
00:23:38,100 –> 00:23:41,280
Um, and then there’s a higher
risk subset of that population,

383
00:23:41,280 –> 00:23:44,400
individuals that are really having
more severe mental health challenges,

384
00:23:44,730 –> 00:23:48,270
and sadly, and unfortunately, that
leads them to, uh, over-reliance on

385
00:23:48,270 –> 00:23:51,780
certain substances in order to numb
or cope with it, or they get wrapped

386
00:23:51,780 –> 00:23:54,780
up in some behavioral issues that get
them involved in the justice system.

387
00:23:54,990 –> 00:23:58,140
So that’s the first place I’m focusing
is on where are those highest risk

388
00:23:58,140 –> 00:24:01,710
members of the veteran population and
what can we do to alleviate some of

389
00:24:01,710 –> 00:24:04,530
their burden, to help them better connect
with the resources that are available

390
00:24:04,530 –> 00:24:05,909
so they can grow beyond this challenge.

391
00:24:06,450 –> 00:24:09,510
Well, really, Garret,
it is about resources.

392
00:24:09,510 –> 00:24:13,889
And you touched on it a little
earlier in the conversation about

393
00:24:14,460 –> 00:24:16,560
all of the nonprofits out there.

394
00:24:17,010 –> 00:24:22,710
They have to really struggle for funding,
they have to fight for the funding.

395
00:24:23,340 –> 00:24:34,680
So how, how do we change the mentality
of those that are giving the funds?

396
00:24:34,740 –> 00:24:40,320
How, how can we touch those people
with more realism in the need?

397
00:24:41,580 –> 00:24:42,270
Yeah, that’s a great question.

398
00:24:42,270 –> 00:24:45,840
So one of the things that I see, you
know, so I, I’ve, I’ve run a couple

399
00:24:45,840 –> 00:24:48,420
of nonprofits and I’ve been involved
in the nonprofit world for a number

400
00:24:48,420 –> 00:24:53,070
of years, one of the things that helps
nonprofits raise money is showing positive

401
00:24:53,070 –> 00:24:54,600
outcomes that they’re helping create.

402
00:24:54,840 –> 00:24:57,270
Um, so one of the, one of the
unique things about the approach

403
00:24:57,270 –> 00:25:00,570
that I’m taking is I want to not
compete with other nonprofits.

404
00:25:00,570 –> 00:25:02,460
I’m not saying like, Hey,
I’ve got a better program,

405
00:25:02,490 –> 00:25:04,020
um, I, I deserve the funding.

406
00:25:04,725 –> 00:25:09,255
What I wanna do is help amplify the
outcomes that other nonprofits are making.

407
00:25:09,255 –> 00:25:12,375
Help the veterans that are, that
they’re serving experience better

408
00:25:12,375 –> 00:25:15,735
outcomes by complimenting what
they’re doing or providing a better,

409
00:25:15,945 –> 00:25:19,875
um, uh, repairing the foundation
for which, with which they operate.

410
00:25:20,325 –> 00:25:22,845
Um, because I think when we can look
at collaboration and when we can

411
00:25:22,845 –> 00:25:26,355
look at how do we serve each other to
create better outcomes, then this is

412
00:25:26,355 –> 00:25:30,465
something that’s gonna help us get more
attention and therefore get more funding

413
00:25:30,465 –> 00:25:31,635
and be able to serve more veterans.

414
00:25:32,564 –> 00:25:34,814
Yeah, I, I think that’s a good thing.

415
00:25:36,705 –> 00:25:41,834
On your TED Talk, you
gave three solutions.

416
00:25:42,074 –> 00:25:49,574
Be the connection, express your
truth, and seek more joy, these are

417
00:25:49,574 –> 00:25:58,185
the things that can help us recognize
ourself and understand our true self.

418
00:25:59,475 –> 00:26:01,905
Can you talk to us about those reasonings?

419
00:26:03,149 –> 00:26:03,629
Yeah, certainly.

420
00:26:03,629 –> 00:26:07,080
So each of these ties back to one of those
core fundamental needs that I, that I

421
00:26:07,080 –> 00:26:11,669
talk about in the TEDx talk, that need for
connection, that need for authenticity.

422
00:26:11,940 –> 00:26:16,020
And really the need for authenticity is
what allows us to experience connection.

423
00:26:16,320 –> 00:26:20,430
So we’re biological creatures we need, we
have a fundamental need for connection in

424
00:26:20,430 –> 00:26:22,740
order to regulate, in order to survive.

425
00:26:23,070 –> 00:26:25,440
Uh, there was a recent study
that came out, it was a Surgeon

426
00:26:25,440 –> 00:26:28,740
General’s report, and they looked
at the impact of loneliness and

427
00:26:28,740 –> 00:26:30,510
lack of proper social connection.

428
00:26:30,660 –> 00:26:33,570
And they showed, the results of the
study showed that a lack of proper

429
00:26:33,570 –> 00:26:38,034
social connection had the same or similar
adverse effects on our health as drinking

430
00:26:38,034 –> 00:26:42,084
six or more alcoholic beverages or
smoking fifteen cigarettes every day.

431
00:26:42,564 –> 00:26:45,294
So it’d be no shock to anybody that
that kind of behavior repeated every

432
00:26:45,294 –> 00:26:48,385
day over time is probably going to
have some negative implications on your

433
00:26:48,385 –> 00:26:50,425
overall wellbeing and your longevity.

434
00:26:50,814 –> 00:26:53,635
Well, they also, and this is what
the, the outcome of this study

435
00:26:53,635 –> 00:26:56,544
was that those people that don’t
have proper social connections

436
00:26:57,195 –> 00:27:00,885
experienced some of those, uh, very
similar adverse effects to their health.

437
00:27:01,215 –> 00:27:04,575
But here’s the need for connection, we
are biologically wired for connection.

438
00:27:04,575 –> 00:27:07,695
Our ability to survive, our most
basic fundamental human needs.

439
00:27:07,695 –> 00:27:10,335
If you were to look at the Maslow’s
hierarchy of needs, at the very

440
00:27:10,335 –> 00:27:11,985
bottom is our physiological needs.

441
00:27:11,985 –> 00:27:14,865
Everything that we need to, you
know, to, to live another day,

442
00:27:14,865 –> 00:27:18,195
it’s our needs for food, water,
shelter, um, sense of security.

443
00:27:19,020 –> 00:27:24,570
We, as tribal creatures, are designed for
and biologically hardwired for connection.

444
00:27:24,570 –> 00:27:27,179
So when we look at a lot of the
emotions that we deal with, whether

445
00:27:27,179 –> 00:27:30,810
it’s embarrassment, fear of rejection,
or some of the punishments that we

446
00:27:30,810 –> 00:27:33,899
might put on somebody, one of the
harshest punishments that we can,

447
00:27:34,080 –> 00:27:36,810
um, inflict on somebody is isolation.

448
00:27:37,199 –> 00:27:39,480
So even those that are in the
justice system or those that are

449
00:27:39,480 –> 00:27:42,449
incarcerated, if they really have a
behavioral issue, then what do they do?

450
00:27:42,449 –> 00:27:46,605
They put ’em in solitary confinement
because that is such a severe punishment

451
00:27:46,605 –> 00:27:49,815
for the way that we feel, and the way
that our body, and our, our physiology,

452
00:27:49,875 –> 00:27:52,665
our physiology even, uh, reacts inside.

453
00:27:53,025 –> 00:27:57,495
But with this need for connection, in
order to experience the full benefits

454
00:27:57,495 –> 00:28:02,355
of it, we need a connection that is
predicated on you accepting me for me.

455
00:28:02,745 –> 00:28:07,095
Not you accepting me for this version
of myself that I’m letting you see.

456
00:28:07,575 –> 00:28:10,635
Because the big challenge is,
if I feel like I need to show

457
00:28:10,635 –> 00:28:12,075
up as a version of myself

458
00:28:12,435 –> 00:28:15,885
in order for Ed to think that I’m okay
and want to experience this connection

459
00:28:15,885 –> 00:28:19,845
with me, then that means fundamentally
what I’m doing is I’m putting on a mask

460
00:28:19,845 –> 00:28:23,325
and I’m just showing up and presenting
to you what I think you want to see in

461
00:28:23,325 –> 00:28:24,705
order to think that I’m good enough.

462
00:28:25,065 –> 00:28:27,585
The challenge is, as you’re
looking at this mask, you’re only

463
00:28:27,585 –> 00:28:30,015
connecting with this mask you’re
not really connecting with me.

464
00:28:30,405 –> 00:28:33,555
And on the inside of that mask, I’m
seeing this message repeated over

465
00:28:33,555 –> 00:28:37,375
and over that somehow or in some way,
I’m not good enough just as I am.

466
00:28:38,235 –> 00:28:41,535
So we get the benefits of connection,
maybe we get a little bit of the sense

467
00:28:41,535 –> 00:28:44,745
of safety, or a little bit of the
sense of try, but it’s always watered

468
00:28:44,745 –> 00:28:49,425
down with this fear that this self,
um, this message that we’re continuing

469
00:28:49,425 –> 00:28:52,305
to share to ourselves that, Hey,
maybe I’m not good enough as I am.

470
00:28:52,605 –> 00:28:57,435
So instead of experiencing the sense
of security and safety and the, the

471
00:28:57,435 –> 00:29:02,895
positive physiological benefits of
connection, we’re, we’re feeling and

472
00:29:02,895 –> 00:29:08,220
we’re, we’re more present with this
realization or this idea that there’s

473
00:29:08,220 –> 00:29:09,750
things about me that I must hide.

474
00:29:10,320 –> 00:29:12,780
There’s parts of my truth
that I better not let get out.

475
00:29:13,140 –> 00:29:15,330
And if somebody were to see the
real me, then maybe I wouldn’t

476
00:29:15,330 –> 00:29:17,550
be good enough and all this would
kind of come crumbling down.

477
00:29:17,760 –> 00:29:22,590
So therefore, to establish the positive
benefits that we can get from connection,

478
00:29:22,950 –> 00:29:25,140
it needs to be done in an authentic way.

479
00:29:25,560 –> 00:29:26,910
So I say be the connection.

480
00:29:26,910 –> 00:29:29,190
And what, what, what I’m
encouraging individuals to do

481
00:29:29,190 –> 00:29:32,700
here is to be that connection
that they wanna see with others.

482
00:29:33,000 –> 00:29:35,820
If you want to have somebody that’s
gonna be there with you in the hard times

483
00:29:35,820 –> 00:29:38,610
and show up with you and help you, you
know, fight the fight, whatever you’re

484
00:29:38,610 –> 00:29:42,390
going through in your life, then first
demonstrate that willingness to others.

485
00:29:42,705 –> 00:29:45,254
A lot of times it’s what we
put out that is reciprocated.

486
00:29:45,254 –> 00:29:45,705
It’s a lot.

487
00:29:45,705 –> 00:29:48,855
It’s what we put out and what we show
to others is what we receive from them.

488
00:29:49,185 –> 00:29:52,815
So instead of recoiling and isolating
and just waiting for somebody to come

489
00:29:53,055 –> 00:29:56,625
establish that bond or invest in that,
that connection or that relationship

490
00:29:56,625 –> 00:30:00,075
with you, first and foremost, we need
to get out and offer that kind of

491
00:30:00,075 –> 00:30:01,575
connection to others so that it can grow.

492
00:30:02,285 –> 00:30:05,135
Um, expressing your truth is
exactly what we just talked about,

493
00:30:05,135 –> 00:30:06,305
so do it in an authentic way.

494
00:30:06,305 –> 00:30:07,895
Yeah, there are gonna
be some jerks out there.

495
00:30:07,895 –> 00:30:09,635
There’s gonna be some
people that reject us.

496
00:30:09,995 –> 00:30:13,325
There’s going to be some people that don’t
like it, you know, some things about us.

497
00:30:13,325 –> 00:30:17,435
But the more that we can connect with
ourselves first, connect with the true

498
00:30:17,435 –> 00:30:21,065
values and the worth that we have as an
individual, then this can provide us that

499
00:30:21,065 –> 00:30:25,235
confidence to go out and, and be a little
bit more authentic in our relationships.

500
00:30:25,475 –> 00:30:29,435
As I touched on a moment ago, when we’re
in that survival state, when we’re in

501
00:30:29,435 –> 00:30:35,835
that high stress state and we’re prone to
looking for things that could be potential

502
00:30:35,835 –> 00:30:41,445
threats, many times that field of
perception turns inward and focuses on us.

503
00:30:42,075 –> 00:30:45,044
So now we become hyper aware
of the weaknesses or the

504
00:30:45,044 –> 00:30:46,070
perceived defects that we have.

505
00:30:46,830 –> 00:30:51,389
We’re very cognizant of any mistake or
misspeak that we had that, you know,

506
00:30:51,389 –> 00:30:54,930
yesterday, or any failure, or any
embarrassing memory that we had in our

507
00:30:54,930 –> 00:30:59,040
past, that’s what’s consuming all of
our, our mental bandwidth at that time.

508
00:30:59,370 –> 00:31:02,910
Because what we understand is if I
were to repeat those behaviors, this

509
00:31:02,910 –> 00:31:04,620
could jeopardize the connection.

510
00:31:04,620 –> 00:31:06,930
This could jeopardize
my ability to survive.

511
00:31:07,274 –> 00:31:11,939
So in that process, what we’ve become
disconnected with, is what is also true.

512
00:31:11,939 –> 00:31:14,879
I’m not suggesting that there’s anybody
out there that hasn’t made mistakes

513
00:31:14,879 –> 00:31:18,360
or blunders or have things to be
embarrassed about, but what is also

514
00:31:18,360 –> 00:31:22,260
true is that every individual also has
a lot of strengths, a lot of worth.

515
00:31:22,560 –> 00:31:25,649
No matter how many mistakes you’ve made
in the past, you have a much longer list

516
00:31:25,649 –> 00:31:27,330
of wins and successes along the way.

517
00:31:27,330 –> 00:31:28,439
Otherwise you wouldn’t be here.

518
00:31:28,620 –> 00:31:32,129
So, yeah, maybe you, uh, did fail that
test in the third grade, but guess what?

519
00:31:32,129 –> 00:31:34,110
You also learned how to tie your
shoes, you learned how to ride a

520
00:31:34,110 –> 00:31:36,419
bike, you learned how to walk, you
learned all these other things.

521
00:31:37,155 –> 00:31:40,665
So before we can go and reestablish
connections with others, we need

522
00:31:40,665 –> 00:31:43,725
to reestablish a connection with
ourself and see the true worth and the

523
00:31:43,725 –> 00:31:45,405
value that we have as an individual.

524
00:31:45,405 –> 00:31:47,715
So that’s a lot of the early
coaching work that I’ll do

525
00:31:47,715 –> 00:31:49,725
with somebody is let’s get you,

526
00:31:50,745 –> 00:31:55,035
let’s, let’s help expand your lens of
focus so that you’re not just seeing the

527
00:31:55,035 –> 00:31:56,475
things about you that you don’t like.

528
00:31:56,475 –> 00:31:59,205
You’re not just listing your defects,
or thinking about the mistakes that

529
00:31:59,205 –> 00:32:01,925
you made, or some of the struggles
that you’re currently facing.

530
00:32:02,385 –> 00:32:07,155
Let’s expand that, that aperture on your
camera or on your, your mental, uh, field

531
00:32:07,155 –> 00:32:11,595
of, of perspective to also recognize
and give worth to the many great things

532
00:32:11,595 –> 00:32:13,274
that there are also true about you.

533
00:32:14,024 –> 00:32:16,425
When we can do that, then this
helps us kind of settle that

534
00:32:16,425 –> 00:32:20,685
nervous system down and reduces
that pressure to hide behind a mask.

535
00:32:20,685 –> 00:32:23,145
You know, the, the more that we’re
connected with the worth and the more that

536
00:32:23,145 –> 00:32:26,835
we’re in touch with the worth that we have
as an individual, then the easier it is

537
00:32:26,835 –> 00:32:29,985
for me to express my truth to somebody
else that I’m trying to connect with.

538
00:32:30,645 –> 00:32:35,084
So being the connection, sharing your
truth, and then lastly, seeking more joy.

539
00:32:35,084 –> 00:32:38,925
So I understand joy is a very powerful
emotion that can be an indicator or a

540
00:32:38,925 –> 00:32:43,155
guiding star to where we will find the
greatest sense of meaning in our life.

541
00:32:43,485 –> 00:32:45,705
You know, we can engage in many
different activities and be a part

542
00:32:45,705 –> 00:32:49,425
of many different things, but there’s
some things that we do where it seems

543
00:32:49,425 –> 00:32:51,254
to provide a greater sense of joy.

544
00:32:51,254 –> 00:32:54,765
So that’s a great indicator for
us on, Where do I wanna focus a

545
00:32:54,765 –> 00:32:58,155
little bit more time and attention
so that I can experience a, a

546
00:32:58,155 –> 00:33:01,545
greater sense of joy and therefore a
greater sense of meaning in my life?

547
00:33:02,645 –> 00:33:04,215
Yeah, I like that a lot.

548
00:33:04,635 –> 00:33:07,305
And, and that equals boundaries.

549
00:33:07,605 –> 00:33:14,505
When you learn to set and adhere to
your own boundaries, you experience joy.

550
00:33:14,715 –> 00:33:20,265
And, and it’s hard for people to
grasp that, but I love my old self.

551
00:33:20,985 –> 00:33:26,445
I used to hate it and I used to
try to hide it, and now I am so

552
00:33:26,505 –> 00:33:31,995
proud that I’m here now instead of
where I was with the old person.

553
00:33:32,325 –> 00:33:40,545
So I am always looking for
more experience, I don’t

554
00:33:41,460 –> 00:33:43,290
try to run from it anymore.

555
00:33:43,350 –> 00:33:50,310
I want to, if I’m uncomfortable with a
situation, there’s a reason for that.

556
00:33:50,340 –> 00:33:56,340
And you need to lean into that to
understand a little more about what

557
00:33:56,340 –> 00:33:59,400
is your fear or your hesitation there.

558
00:34:00,150 –> 00:34:07,050
And that shows you your true self,
your strength, your weakness, and

559
00:34:07,050 –> 00:34:09,130
your acceptance of all of that.

560
00:34:09,480 –> 00:34:11,715
So, I really like that a lot.

561
00:34:13,095 –> 00:34:16,035
It’s that ability to listen to yourself
internally too, and this is another

562
00:34:16,035 –> 00:34:18,765
challenge that we have when we’re
in that survival state or when we’re

563
00:34:18,765 –> 00:34:23,445
over-relying on a substance or behavior
to soothe or numb the pain inside.

564
00:34:24,495 –> 00:34:26,535
The problem is you can’t selectively numb.

565
00:34:26,985 –> 00:34:30,540
So you can’t selectively numb
bad emotions and not also

566
00:34:30,540 –> 00:34:32,100
numb all of the good emotions.

567
00:34:32,160 –> 00:34:35,580
And the more that you live by packing
all the things inside that you can’t deal

568
00:34:35,580 –> 00:34:38,940
with and then pouring some alcohol on it
or doing something else in order to put

569
00:34:38,940 –> 00:34:44,430
out the flames, the more disconnected you
come from that internal guidance system or

570
00:34:44,430 –> 00:34:46,200
that intuition that you’re talking about.

571
00:34:46,200 –> 00:34:50,250
That, the ability to sit with
and understand and investigate

572
00:34:50,250 –> 00:34:51,780
that discomfort that’s coming up.

573
00:34:51,960 –> 00:34:55,050
So this is a beautiful thing that
progresses, that in somebody’s recovery

574
00:34:55,050 –> 00:35:00,720
journey is gaining a, a reacquaintance
with some of those internal feelings

575
00:35:00,720 –> 00:35:04,050
and emotions and getting, stepping
outside of that survival state so that

576
00:35:04,050 –> 00:35:07,380
you have a strong enough footing where
you can say, Okay, I am uncomfortable,

577
00:35:07,380 –> 00:35:08,970
but let me stop and reflect on this.

578
00:35:08,970 –> 00:35:09,960
Where is this coming from?

579
00:35:09,960 –> 00:35:14,160
Is this a, is this a reflection of a
past traumatic experience that I had?

580
00:35:14,160 –> 00:35:17,100
And my, my essential nervous system
is kind of queuing up that maybe

581
00:35:17,100 –> 00:35:18,300
there’s something dangerous here.

582
00:35:18,510 –> 00:35:19,230
Is there a fear?

583
00:35:19,230 –> 00:35:21,960
Am I picking up on something that’s
really not that good in a certain

584
00:35:21,960 –> 00:35:23,460
opportunity or an individual?

585
00:35:23,775 –> 00:35:27,015
And the more that we can connect with
that, then the more that we can use

586
00:35:27,015 –> 00:35:31,185
that as a, as a guiding system in our
life and help us tend back towards

587
00:35:31,185 –> 00:35:33,045
greater, uh, joy and experiences.

588
00:35:33,135 –> 00:35:35,055
And another thing you touched
on was the boundaries.

589
00:35:35,385 –> 00:35:38,715
And this also, I believe, ties back
a lot to that authenticity piece.

590
00:35:38,925 –> 00:35:42,255
So one of the challenges that we see when
somebody feels like they can’t show up

591
00:35:42,255 –> 00:35:45,315
authentically, and they’re really just
kind of, they’re, they’re constantly

592
00:35:45,315 –> 00:35:49,455
showing up as a reflection of what they
think those people in front of them

593
00:35:49,455 –> 00:35:54,870
need to see and they’re disconnected
from their own worth and value.

594
00:35:54,930 –> 00:35:57,690
Then what we do is we’re living
our whole sense of self-worth, our

595
00:35:57,690 –> 00:36:03,150
self, our self-esteem is predicated
on other people’s validation of us.

596
00:36:03,150 –> 00:36:05,910
So this is a very dangerous
and unhealthy situation to be.

597
00:36:05,910 –> 00:36:09,060
So imagine somebody who’s completely
disconnected with all their own

598
00:36:09,060 –> 00:36:13,710
self-worth, they’ve, they’re, they’re
completely, um, um, uh, disconnected

599
00:36:13,710 –> 00:36:16,590
or unaware of the strengths and the
wins that they’ve had in their life.

600
00:36:18,240 –> 00:36:22,259
This can, this can put them in a place
where their only sense of self-worth is

601
00:36:22,410 –> 00:36:27,180
through the validation of others, which
is then a self-reinforcing problem of now

602
00:36:27,180 –> 00:36:31,259
I have to show up as this other version,
uh, as this person wants to see me.

603
00:36:31,380 –> 00:36:34,049
And this can be the thing that
completely disrupts our ability

604
00:36:34,049 –> 00:36:35,400
to have any kind of boundaries.

605
00:36:35,580 –> 00:36:40,125
Because if I’m living, if I’m surviving
off of your acceptance of me, then if

606
00:36:40,125 –> 00:36:43,155
you ask me to do something, I don’t want
to do it, or if you, you know, if you

607
00:36:43,155 –> 00:36:46,035
need me to be involved in something and
I just don’t have the time and energy, I

608
00:36:46,035 –> 00:36:49,395
can’t say no because of, that jeopardizes
the way that you feel about me.

609
00:36:49,395 –> 00:36:51,975
Then my whole sense of
self shatters as a result.

610
00:36:52,215 –> 00:36:55,815
So the more that we can first reconnect
with ourselves and see and remember

611
00:36:55,815 –> 00:36:59,295
the truth and the value that, and, and
the love ability that we have as an

612
00:36:59,295 –> 00:37:03,405
individual, then this allows us to then
show up a little bit more authentically

613
00:37:03,405 –> 00:37:07,665
and have the courage to have those
boundaries when, when it’s necessary

614
00:37:07,665 –> 00:37:08,985
and not to overextend ourselves.

615
00:37:10,455 –> 00:37:10,905
Yeah.

616
00:37:11,415 –> 00:37:14,775
It brings up my analogy,
the muddy shoe life.

617
00:37:15,015 –> 00:37:20,715
Life is like you’re a muddy shoe and
you’re walking down this muddy trail.

618
00:37:21,495 –> 00:37:26,235
That mud on the trail, it’s
people, places, and things.

619
00:37:26,595 –> 00:37:32,655
And if you’ve ever hiked in heavy clay
mud, you know that it can get clingy

620
00:37:32,655 –> 00:37:39,735
and heavy and it’s hard to keep going
if you continue to grab this mud.

621
00:37:40,545 –> 00:37:44,085
Find the first rock
and clean yourself off.

622
00:37:44,085 –> 00:37:50,475
If you can find a mud puddle, uh, really
clean it, it makes yourself lighter

623
00:37:50,505 –> 00:37:55,424
and you can reach the end of the trail
with a lot less stress, headache, hurt.

624
00:37:56,085 –> 00:38:03,015
And it, it’s showing your vulnerable
side to understand these things.

625
00:38:03,225 –> 00:38:10,740
That it’s okay if Bobby and Sue is
treating me wrong, for me to say,

626
00:38:10,890 –> 00:38:17,340
Hey, Bobby and Sue, I really do not
like the attitude here against me.

627
00:38:17,370 –> 00:38:19,920
Did I do something wrong to you?

628
00:38:20,760 –> 00:38:26,760
And, and this equals emotional
intelligence when you can actually not get

629
00:38:26,760 –> 00:38:30,540
mad and withdraw, but actually connect.

630
00:38:30,540 –> 00:38:35,970
And what that does is it helps
the individuals displaying

631
00:38:35,970 –> 00:38:41,780
those disagreeable sentiments.

632
00:38:41,940 –> 00:38:45,450
You can, you can actually
say, Hey, I don’t agree with

633
00:38:45,450 –> 00:38:47,549
that, and that should be okay.

634
00:38:48,029 –> 00:38:52,859
If it’s not, you need to find new
friends because they don’t respect

635
00:38:53,445 –> 00:38:58,335
your personal boundaries and they
don’t respect who you truly are.

636
00:38:58,335 –> 00:39:03,015
Like you stated, it’s
okay to be who you are.

637
00:39:03,765 –> 00:39:10,035
And if we don’t find the people that
accept us for that true, authentic

638
00:39:10,395 –> 00:39:16,785
self, we’ll always be grasping
for something that we don’t know

639
00:39:16,785 –> 00:39:19,515
what we’re really grasping for.

640
00:39:19,935 –> 00:39:21,134
And that’s identity.

641
00:39:21,435 –> 00:39:22,185
It’s simple.

642
00:39:24,795 –> 00:39:28,605
And, and, and being okay with your own
identity, not some projection of your

643
00:39:28,605 –> 00:39:30,525
identity in order to get that acceptance.

644
00:39:30,734 –> 00:39:33,375
And that’s a, that’s a beautiful thing
a lot of individuals see in their

645
00:39:33,375 –> 00:39:37,455
recovery journey as they begin to be
more confident about who they are and

646
00:39:37,455 –> 00:39:41,685
accepting of who they are, and they
begin to show up more authentically.

647
00:39:42,194 –> 00:39:45,525
The people that should not be in your
life, they’re gonna, they’re going

648
00:39:45,525 –> 00:39:48,194
to, you know, they’re gonna separate
and they’re gonna go away anyway.

649
00:39:48,255 –> 00:39:51,975
You know, there’s certain people that
are, you know, not, not, not demeaning

650
00:39:51,975 –> 00:39:54,285
to the individuals, but maybe they’re
going through something and they

651
00:39:54,285 –> 00:39:57,255
need to leach off of the positive
energy or the vibe that you’ve got

652
00:39:57,255 –> 00:39:58,335
and that’s what’s holding them up.

653
00:39:58,365 –> 00:40:01,935
Well, you know, and when we’re doing
acts of service, that can be one thing

654
00:40:01,935 –> 00:40:04,665
to provide that, but we can’t live
constantly in an environment where

655
00:40:04,665 –> 00:40:08,444
people are needing to get something
from us in order to survive themselves.

656
00:40:08,444 –> 00:40:11,760
We want to be surrounded by other
people who are also on a strong

657
00:40:11,760 –> 00:40:14,370
enough foundation of their self-worth
so that you can have some of those

658
00:40:14,370 –> 00:40:17,700
honest conversations and support one
another in our, in our own growth.

659
00:40:19,950 –> 00:40:26,160
I, I’m really just now starting to figure
that out through my podcasting journey.

660
00:40:26,730 –> 00:40:31,650
There are a lot of true people, but
there are a lot of those people just

661
00:40:31,650 –> 00:40:38,865
out there to bolster who they are and
get what they need instead of helping

662
00:40:38,865 –> 00:40:41,625
the whole community grow as a whole.

663
00:40:41,805 –> 00:40:47,685
And that’s really what we need most
right now in our world, is a community

664
00:40:47,685 –> 00:40:50,715
that knows their value, their worth.

665
00:40:51,315 –> 00:40:59,205
And if somebody is diminishing that
worth, that value, find a new friend.

666
00:40:59,475 –> 00:41:01,635
It’s, it’s the only way out.

667
00:41:03,105 –> 00:41:03,465
Right.

668
00:41:03,645 –> 00:41:03,795
Yeah.

669
00:41:03,795 –> 00:41:06,765
And find other people that have that
strong, you know, stable foundation so

670
00:41:06,765 –> 00:41:09,465
they can model that for you, sometimes
we learn the best through modeling.

671
00:41:09,765 –> 00:41:12,345
But I think as a community at
large, the more work that we can

672
00:41:12,345 –> 00:41:16,875
do ourselves to reconnect with the
worth that we have then the better

673
00:41:16,875 –> 00:41:18,165
that we can show up for other people.

674
00:41:18,165 –> 00:41:22,125
Then we don’t feel like somebody’s lack of
acceptance or their judgment of us is a,

675
00:41:22,290 –> 00:41:26,865
a rejection that I’ve gotta now maneuver
so I can, um, overcome that rejection.

676
00:41:27,225 –> 00:41:30,495
We can just show up authentically
and, and, and, and therefore be a

677
00:41:30,495 –> 00:41:32,895
little bit more vulnerable, share
a little bit more of our truth.

678
00:41:32,955 –> 00:41:36,675
And I think this comes back to that
primary adjusting of that aperture,

679
00:41:36,675 –> 00:41:39,495
don’t just see yourself for the
defects and for the mistakes, and

680
00:41:39,495 –> 00:41:42,345
the obstacles, and the challenges,
and the people that you’ve let down.

681
00:41:42,345 –> 00:41:46,515
Those things are true, but you also
have a lot of other truth to your story.

682
00:41:46,710 –> 00:41:49,875
So that if we can adjust that
aperture, and this is a big challenge.

683
00:41:49,875 –> 00:41:51,755
And, you know, for anybody
that’s in the room, this is a big

684
00:41:51,755 –> 00:41:52,875
challenge that a lot of people have.

685
00:41:53,265 –> 00:41:56,805
And, you know, going through some,
some normal processes or, or or step

686
00:41:56,805 –> 00:42:01,125
programs in the room is that initially
there can be a lot of focus on, okay,

687
00:42:01,125 –> 00:42:04,125
let’s get real clear about all the
things that are messed up and the things

688
00:42:04,125 –> 00:42:05,625
that I’d like to change about myself.

689
00:42:05,715 –> 00:42:07,305
Very important work to do,

690
00:42:07,545 –> 00:42:11,515
but if we do that prematurely, or if
we do that once we, before we’ve had

691
00:42:11,515 –> 00:42:14,610
a chance to reconnect with the worth
and the value that we have, then

692
00:42:14,610 –> 00:42:17,340
that can be an obstacle or that can
be a hill that’s too big to climb.

693
00:42:17,670 –> 00:42:21,180
So that’s why I love working with
individuals that have seemed to stagnate

694
00:42:21,180 –> 00:42:24,960
or get stuck in some of their self-worth,
because to me it’s an indicator, okay,

695
00:42:25,259 –> 00:42:26,820
we gotta adjust that aperture again.

696
00:42:26,820 –> 00:42:30,390
We gotta come back out and see yourself
as somebody who’s worth that extra

697
00:42:30,390 –> 00:42:33,450
investment of effort and the strain and
the struggle that you’re gonna go through.

698
00:42:33,450 –> 00:42:37,380
Because we can all get stuck in this
place where if all we see is the bad in

699
00:42:37,380 –> 00:42:42,255
us and the bad about us, then feeling
like we even deserve to have a better

700
00:42:42,255 –> 00:42:43,964
experience is a hard thing to get to.

701
00:42:43,964 –> 00:42:47,745
As I mentioned, I I run a long-term,
um, Sober Living Recovery residence.

702
00:42:47,865 –> 00:42:50,805
And that’s the common obstacle
that everybody faces is sometimes

703
00:42:50,805 –> 00:42:52,125
things start to get better.

704
00:42:52,485 –> 00:42:55,904
If they don’t feel like they’re deserving
of things getting better yet because

705
00:42:55,904 –> 00:42:59,115
they’re so focused on the bad that
they see in them or the bad that other

706
00:42:59,115 –> 00:43:02,910
people are telling them, then they’ll
start to jeopardize, you know, they’ll

707
00:43:02,910 –> 00:43:06,480
start to self-sabotage and they’ll,
and they’ll fall backwards, um, back to

708
00:43:06,480 –> 00:43:08,130
something that they’re more familiar with.

709
00:43:08,130 –> 00:43:11,460
Which is the chaos and the pain of the,
of the experience that they’re used to.

710
00:43:13,140 –> 00:43:13,710
That’s right.

711
00:43:14,040 –> 00:43:18,960
You know, it, it’s really easy to
say you’re gonna do it, but when

712
00:43:18,960 –> 00:43:24,000
you start doing it, there’s always
that hesitation, doubt, fear.

713
00:43:24,660 –> 00:43:30,510
And that’s why as an individual
that lives it, I watch for the

714
00:43:30,510 –> 00:43:36,480
people below me so I can reach down
and help them up to where I am.

715
00:43:36,480 –> 00:43:41,400
And I hope they get above me so
they can pull me beyond where I am.

716
00:43:41,760 –> 00:43:45,270
And that’s how we build a
community and we get stronger.

717
00:43:45,780 –> 00:43:51,270
Nobody’s going to lead the pack all
the time, you need somebody to take

718
00:43:51,270 –> 00:43:55,230
that lead and let yourself rest.

719
00:43:55,605 –> 00:44:00,765
And that, that way we’re well
oiled and we can maneuver well.

720
00:44:02,175 –> 00:44:02,755
Certainly, Ed.

721
00:44:02,775 –> 00:44:04,605
Back to the, uh, hiking
analogy that you had.

722
00:44:04,605 –> 00:44:07,095
I mean, if we’re all in a community
together and we’re hiking through the

723
00:44:07,095 –> 00:44:09,705
woods, there’s gonna be times where
you’re like, Hey, watch out for that

724
00:44:09,705 –> 00:44:11,355
rock, or watch out for that stick.

725
00:44:11,355 –> 00:44:14,145
And there’s gonna be times where
somebody’s passing you a hand to

726
00:44:14,145 –> 00:44:16,755
help you get your gear up the next,
uh, little cliff and then you’re

727
00:44:16,755 –> 00:44:18,135
gonna turn around and help them up.

728
00:44:18,405 –> 00:44:22,770
So that’s a beautiful thing when we can
all be both recipients of and providers of

729
00:44:22,770 –> 00:44:24,870
that recovery support along this journey.

730
00:44:25,110 –> 00:44:28,020
I think that’s as, how we come
together as a community and best serve.

731
00:44:28,080 –> 00:44:31,110
And again, that comes back to
each individual understanding.

732
00:44:31,110 –> 00:44:33,330
Regardless of the amount of stuff
that they got in their pack and

733
00:44:33,330 –> 00:44:35,970
the challenges that they’re, that
they’re carrying through that journey,

734
00:44:36,300 –> 00:44:39,030
that they also do have a lot of
worth and they have a lot of value.

735
00:44:39,060 –> 00:44:41,430
For every pain that we’ve been
through, we also picked up a little

736
00:44:41,430 –> 00:44:42,810
bit of insight and experience.

737
00:44:43,140 –> 00:44:45,630
And that’s something that, you know,
when I first got involved in recovery

738
00:44:45,630 –> 00:44:49,100
work, a lot of people would ask me like,
Hey, you know, you’re, you’re a human

739
00:44:49,125 –> 00:44:52,214
potential coach, you do these other
things, like why, why would you choose

740
00:44:52,214 –> 00:44:54,225
this population of people to work with?

741
00:44:54,615 –> 00:44:56,234
And really, there’s two reasons for it.

742
00:44:56,234 –> 00:44:59,504
One is for every individual that’s
struggling with a substance or with

743
00:44:59,504 –> 00:45:02,895
a mental health challenge, that’s not
just a struggle that they’re facing,

744
00:45:02,895 –> 00:45:05,924
it’s also a struggle that impacts their
entire family, their neighbors, their

745
00:45:05,924 –> 00:45:07,785
coworkers, really the community at large.

746
00:45:08,205 –> 00:45:11,925
So if I can help that individual
get to a better place, then, then

747
00:45:11,925 –> 00:45:15,555
the, uh, the, the, the positive
benefit of the gains from that are

748
00:45:15,585 –> 00:45:17,505
many times, uh, many times greater.

749
00:45:17,745 –> 00:45:20,625
The other thing is, I think that
life in many ways and a person’s

750
00:45:20,625 –> 00:45:22,245
experience is a lot like a pendulum.

751
00:45:22,455 –> 00:45:25,575
And the further that it swings in
one direction of pain, and despair,

752
00:45:25,575 –> 00:45:26,825
and discomfort, and heartache,

753
00:45:27,150 –> 00:45:30,720
the greater the potential it has to swing
in the other direction of compassion,

754
00:45:30,720 –> 00:45:34,799
and ambition and drive, and, and really
living into somebody’s potential.

755
00:45:34,799 –> 00:45:38,190
So that’s why it’s such a beautiful thing
when you find somebody in their recovery

756
00:45:38,190 –> 00:45:41,970
journey, when they’re able to take all
of the pain and all of the hurt, and

757
00:45:41,970 –> 00:45:45,690
now invest that through their wisdom and
through their experience and encouragement

758
00:45:45,960 –> 00:45:47,610
to help other people along their journey.

759
00:45:48,900 –> 00:45:52,020
Yes, I, I believe that 100%.

760
00:45:52,980 –> 00:45:58,500
So is there anything else, Garrett,
that we should be discussing today?

761
00:45:59,620 –> 00:45:59,890
I don’t know.

762
00:45:59,890 –> 00:46:02,400
What’s a question that I haven’t thought
of or that you haven’t thought of yet?

763
00:46:05,730 –> 00:46:13,049
Uh, it’s, it’s all a journey and that
journey should be a journey of discovery.

764
00:46:13,920 –> 00:46:17,850
I know a lot of people, they
don’t like to discover new things.

765
00:46:17,850 –> 00:46:22,800
You touched on it, the,
the norm, the comfort.

766
00:46:22,890 –> 00:46:28,890
And when we rip that scab off
and we hurt a little bit, we can

767
00:46:28,890 –> 00:46:33,540
find out there’s a lot under the
scab that still needs to heal.

768
00:46:34,470 –> 00:46:34,650
Yeah.

769
00:46:34,650 –> 00:46:36,900
It’s that, it’s that process and
that journey, and that’s the thing.

770
00:46:36,900 –> 00:46:40,605
I mean, if I could leave everybody with
one message it’s, Regardless of the

771
00:46:40,605 –> 00:46:43,785
darkness that you’re in or the struggles
that you’re facing today, or the, maybe

772
00:46:43,785 –> 00:46:49,275
the, the lack of self-worth that you have,
know that you are lovable as you are.

773
00:46:49,545 –> 00:46:53,115
You are deserving of greater peace,
of greater joy, of greater happiness

774
00:46:53,115 –> 00:46:55,125
in your life and you can achieve that.

775
00:46:55,125 –> 00:46:58,424
And you can experience those things
if you’re willing to accept some

776
00:46:58,424 –> 00:47:01,875
of the discomfort and go through a
process of learning and of growth.

777
00:47:02,115 –> 00:47:04,754
All the pain that you’ve been carrying
with you, all the things, you know,

778
00:47:04,754 –> 00:47:07,334
we have the metaphor of the carrying
the things in your pack, everything

779
00:47:07,334 –> 00:47:09,524
that you’ve been carrying in your
pack from the heartache, and the

780
00:47:09,524 –> 00:47:12,225
adversity and the hardships, and the
traumas that you’ve been through,

781
00:47:12,825 –> 00:47:16,365
there’s an opportunity to use those
things in order to stimulate and

782
00:47:16,365 –> 00:47:20,115
foster growth and, and greater
joy and happiness in your life.

783
00:47:20,115 –> 00:47:21,285
So know that that’s possible.

784
00:47:21,285 –> 00:47:23,924
There’s people that are around you
that have experienced some of that,

785
00:47:23,924 –> 00:47:27,075
and they can help lead you on the way,
whether it’s in a clinical setting

786
00:47:27,075 –> 00:47:28,665
or in a community support setting.

787
00:47:29,045 –> 00:47:31,695
You’re, you’re a human and you’re
going through human experience.

788
00:47:31,695 –> 00:47:34,575
And sometimes we can go through that
human experience and we get too much

789
00:47:34,575 –> 00:47:38,355
of that mud stuck on our boots, that
it really makes us feel stuck and like

790
00:47:38,355 –> 00:47:40,185
things might, might not get better.

791
00:47:40,455 –> 00:47:42,674
But the truth is, if you’re
willing to continue that journey

792
00:47:42,674 –> 00:47:45,465
and, and continue the process,
that things can get a lot better.

793
00:47:45,705 –> 00:47:47,025
You certainly deserve that.

794
00:47:47,055 –> 00:47:50,265
Um, you’re worthy of it as an individual
and you’re worthy of turning that

795
00:47:50,265 –> 00:47:52,755
heartache and the pain that you’ve been
through into something that’s, that’s

796
00:47:52,755 –> 00:47:54,195
beautiful and beneficial for you.

797
00:47:56,085 –> 00:47:56,535
That’s right.

798
00:47:56,535 –> 00:48:01,785
And, and remember the muddy shoe
life, we’re on mud and we’re

799
00:48:01,785 –> 00:48:03,525
gonna slip, we’re gonna fall.

800
00:48:04,095 –> 00:48:08,445
And it’s okay to get a little
muddy, it’s part of life.

801
00:48:08,925 –> 00:48:17,549
So it really makes us who we are, that
hardship, that durability that we have

802
00:48:17,549 –> 00:48:21,299
come through and we’re still alive.

803
00:48:21,959 –> 00:48:22,500
So

804
00:48:25,020 –> 00:48:30,270
I, I guess the big takeaway
here is know yourself.

805
00:48:32,160 –> 00:48:32,759
I think so.

806
00:48:32,819 –> 00:48:34,890
And, and learn to love
and accept yourself.

807
00:48:35,729 –> 00:48:39,720
In a, in a slow, or as an uncomfortable
process as that is, be willing

808
00:48:39,720 –> 00:48:41,339
to do the work to know yourself.

809
00:48:41,970 –> 00:48:45,450
Understand who you are today and
how you’re showing up and, and

810
00:48:45,450 –> 00:48:46,950
understand where that came from.

811
00:48:47,339 –> 00:48:50,850
I mean, back, at the end of the day, we’re
all humans going through human experience.

812
00:48:50,850 –> 00:48:55,470
And some of the unfavorable ways that we
might be showing up today, really, that’s

813
00:48:55,470 –> 00:48:58,725
just our best ability to deal with the
situation that we are, are, that we are,

814
00:48:59,460 –> 00:49:01,410
uh, not better equipped to deal with.

815
00:49:01,770 –> 00:49:05,010
Doesn’t mean that we can’t learn that in
the future and we can’t continue to grow.

816
00:49:05,370 –> 00:49:08,370
Um, I, I love your, your talk about
getting that mud off our boots.

817
00:49:08,370 –> 00:49:10,980
And I always associate this with
like the self-care things that

818
00:49:10,980 –> 00:49:14,160
we need to do so that we can
clean ourselves up a little bit.

819
00:49:14,190 –> 00:49:17,100
Many times I talk about, uh, uh,
as we go through life, it’s like

820
00:49:17,100 –> 00:49:18,900
pushing a Swiffer across the floor.

821
00:49:19,260 –> 00:49:21,750
You know, we’re gonna pick up some
grime, we’re gonna pick up some dirt.

822
00:49:21,750 –> 00:49:25,920
And the self-care is our, is the processes
that we can do to help clean that,

823
00:49:25,920 –> 00:49:27,450
get some of the mud off of our boots.

824
00:49:27,750 –> 00:49:31,200
Um, so, uh, there is a, uh, there’s
something I think I mentioned to

825
00:49:31,200 –> 00:49:33,180
you that I wanted to share with
all of your listeners, it’s,

826
00:49:33,180 –> 00:49:34,680
it’s called the Warrior Reset.

827
00:49:34,740 –> 00:49:38,550
It’s really branded for veterans, but
the, uh, but the message and the material

828
00:49:38,550 –> 00:49:39,810
there is really helpful for anybody.

829
00:49:39,810 –> 00:49:42,810
Especially anybody that’s in a
recovery journey or seeking recovery.

830
00:49:42,960 –> 00:49:47,715
And what it is, is I found, uh, the, the
best self-care practices and the best

831
00:49:47,715 –> 00:49:51,585
things that somebody can do to really
bolster that foundation of self-worth and

832
00:49:51,585 –> 00:49:53,055
get some of that mud off of their boots.

833
00:49:53,295 –> 00:49:57,015
Um, the four best interventions are
daily practices that I’ve found over

834
00:49:57,015 –> 00:50:00,405
the last twelve years, I, I provide
them, uh, in this Warrior Reset.

835
00:50:00,405 –> 00:50:02,745
So anybody that’s interested, if you
want to check it out, you can simply

836
00:50:02,745 –> 00:50:07,005
go to thewarriorreset.com and you
can download a free resource there.

837
00:50:07,065 –> 00:50:09,825
And what I’ll do is I’ll walk you
through and I’ll teach you how to do

838
00:50:09,825 –> 00:50:11,655
these different practices every day.

839
00:50:12,359 –> 00:50:15,089
You can do them, all four of them,
in less than fifteen minutes a day.

840
00:50:15,089 –> 00:50:18,299
So that’s the most efficacious
and most kind of fast acting, uh,

841
00:50:18,330 –> 00:50:21,120
things that you can do or that I
found that an individual can do.

842
00:50:21,120 –> 00:50:22,984
So I wanted to share that with any
listeners that were interested.

843
00:50:24,705 –> 00:50:25,965
That’s, that’s wonderful.

844
00:50:26,205 –> 00:50:34,575
So can you tell people where to actually
find you and get a hold of you and

845
00:50:34,575 –> 00:50:36,345
get involved with what you’re doing?

846
00:50:37,605 –> 00:50:38,085
Yeah, certainly.

847
00:50:38,085 –> 00:50:41,955
So you can go to, I’m, I’m probably
most active on LinkedIn, so if you go to

848
00:50:41,985 –> 00:50:45,735
LinkedIn and just type in my name, Garret
Biss, I should be the only one to show up.

849
00:50:45,735 –> 00:50:49,125
If, uh, if, if not, then maybe there’s
something, something fishy going on.

850
00:50:49,575 –> 00:50:52,395
Uh, or you can just come to my
website, garretbiss.com and I’ll

851
00:50:52,395 –> 00:50:55,605
provide those links and you can share
them with anybody that’s interested.

852
00:50:56,985 –> 00:50:59,235
Watch out for that AI, that’s for sure.

853
00:51:00,825 –> 00:51:03,615
Garret, it’s been a pleasure
speaking with you today.

854
00:51:03,615 –> 00:51:07,245
I, I appreciate that you’re
out there, you’re sharing.

855
00:51:07,815 –> 00:51:11,835
The big thing is, you’re caring
about community, other people.

856
00:51:12,075 –> 00:51:17,025
And when we look beyond our ourself,
that’s when we’re finding our

857
00:51:17,025 –> 00:51:20,505
passion, our purpose, and our tribe.

858
00:51:22,064 –> 00:51:23,145
Right, absolutely.

859
00:51:23,145 –> 00:51:26,024
Well, I, I appreciate this opportunity and
I thank you so much for what you’re doing.

860
00:51:26,024 –> 00:51:29,294
I know you’re trying to bring a lot
of difficult but, but very needed

861
00:51:29,294 –> 00:51:33,134
conversations to individuals and sometimes
it, that’s all it takes is hearing

862
00:51:33,134 –> 00:51:36,165
somebody else talk about something that
feels like what you’re going through to

863
00:51:36,165 –> 00:51:38,955
encourage somebody to take those steps and
get to a better place in their own life.

864
00:51:38,955 –> 00:51:42,345
So I really appreciate this platform
and your, the energy and the time that

865
00:51:42,345 –> 00:51:46,334
you’re investing in making sure that these
conversations are had and, and, uh, and

866
00:51:46,334 –> 00:51:47,459
are heard by those that might need it.

867
00:51:48,585 –> 00:51:49,545
I appreciate you.

868
00:51:49,545 –> 00:51:49,964
Thank you.

869
00:52:08,145 –> 00:52:12,444
Jet fuel dreams and screaming blue,
the day the sky betrayed the truth.

870
00:52:12,914 –> 00:52:16,964
Metal screamed and engines
died, left my wings in suicide.

871
00:52:17,025 –> 00:52:21,225
Free fall through the shattered
light, guns removed, I chose to fight.

872
00:52:21,685 –> 00:52:26,655
Not with bullets, not with rage,
but turning over every page.

873
00:52:26,655 –> 00:52:34,190
Trembling hands on silent steel,
learning how the broken feel.

874
00:52:35,174 –> 00:52:40,700
Ground rushing up so fast, is
this freedom built to last?

875
00:52:43,520 –> 00:52:47,835
Darkness becomes the strength,
found myself beneath the steel,

876
00:52:48,305 –> 00:52:52,394
Garret showed us how to kneel.

877
00:52:52,484 –> 00:52:54,184
Not from weakness, but to heal.

878
00:52:54,604 –> 00:52:57,974
From the wreckage, from the fall, learned
to stand up, stand up, stand up tall.

879
00:53:03,604 –> 00:53:11,114
Darkness becomes the strength,
found myself beneath the steel.

880
00:53:11,144 –> 00:53:13,874
Garret met us in the grey,
where the ghosts we carry stay.

881
00:53:13,904 –> 00:53:16,354
Said the thunder in the chest, it’s
just soul that won’t find rest.

882
00:53:16,594 –> 00:53:20,750
Lay the armor on the floor,
Find the man behind the war.

883
00:53:20,750 –> 00:53:27,985
The sky you lost, the ground you
crave, is buried in the soul you save.

884
00:53:27,985 –> 00:53:33,455
Echoes fading in the night,
replaced by sparks of inner light.

885
00:53:33,795 –> 00:53:44,535
The ground feels solid, strangely
real, learning how the broken heal.

886
00:53:44,635 –> 00:53:49,334
Darkness becomes the strength,
found myself beneath the steel,

887
00:53:49,785 –> 00:53:51,845
Garret showed us how to kneel.

888
00:53:52,064 –> 00:53:53,845
Not in weakness, but to heal.

889
00:53:54,075 –> 00:53:57,775
From the wreckage, from the fall,
learned to stand up, stand up tall.

890
00:53:58,715 –> 00:54:01,705
Darkness becomes the strength, found

891
00:54:03,814 –> 00:54:05,524
myself beneath the steel.

892
00:54:05,615 –> 00:54:12,534
No more dogfights in the sun,
the war I fight has just begun.

893
00:54:12,624 –> 00:54:13,674
Against the shadows, deep

894
00:54:13,714 –> 00:54:14,904
inside, where the wounded pilot hides.

895
00:54:14,904 –> 00:54:17,774
The fall wasn’t the final flight,
it was the dawn, it was the light.

896
00:54:17,824 –> 00:54:21,994
Stripped bare of all I thought was mine,

897
00:54:26,484 –> 00:54:34,824
found a purpose, redefined.

898
00:54:34,824 –> 00:54:39,964
Just a heartbeat, raw and real,

899
00:54:41,624 –> 00:54:43,554
learning how the broken heal.

900
00:54:43,554 –> 00:54:44,824
This is strength, the darkness sealed.

901
00:54:44,824 –> 00:54:48,320
Darkness becomes the strength,
found myself beneath the steel,

902
00:54:48,800 –> 00:54:50,010
Garret showed us how to kneel.

903
00:54:50,010 –> 00:54:57,109
Not in weakness, but to heal,
from the wreckage, from the fall,

904
00:55:03,380 –> 00:55:04,900
Learned to

905
00:55:07,410 –> 00:55:15,231
stand up, stand up tall.

906
00:55:15,231 –> 00:55:27,926
Darkness becomes the strength,
found myself beneath the steel.

907
00:55:27,926 –> 00:55:30,125
Choose to fly without the
gun, rising slow into the sun.

908
00:55:30,125 –> 00:55:32,545
Beneath the steel the healing’s done,
Found the strength to finally fly.