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Can you feel it coming?

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Something’s waking up inside.

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Hearts ablaze, we’re standing
tall breaking chains of yesterday.

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Dead America finds it’s voice,
in the darkness, we make choice.

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Truth and healing lead the way,
hearts ablaze, we’re here to stay.

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Rise from ashes come what may,
we’re finding hope in disarray.

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Today, we’re speaking with Jacquie Elliot.

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She’s a certified life coach, an
author, and she came up with the

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system, Abusive Brain Chatter,
ABCs, which is kind of unique.

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So Jacquie, could you
please introduce yourself?

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And let people know just a
little more about you, please.

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Well, yes.

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Hi, Ed.

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Um, yes, I am a certified life, but I’m
also a relationship and spiritual coach.

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So I do all three of those coachings
and I kinda use them in my coaching.

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And, um, I, you know, have been spending
the last three and a half, four years

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writing this book, uh, this, you know,
it’s, it’s The Silent Bully, A Journey

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From Abusive Brain Chatter To Self-love.

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And that’s what, uh,
it’s due out in November.

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So yeah, I, um, have been a coach
for about four or five years.

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Uh, otherwise I used to mentor people
and I used to be a business owner and

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I raised money for charities, uh, about
fifteen million dollars for charities.

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So, um, I have a background in business,
but I decided that, uh, this is the path

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that I wanted to go on, helping people.

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And my own journey kind of
framed that, uh, my own journey

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with abusive brain chatter.

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So that’s kind of why I wrote this book.

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I felt like at this time in my life, it’s
really, really important to give back.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, I, I’m with you
all the way with that.

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You know, I, I suffer from
that still to this day.

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However, I’ve overcome the challenges
of understanding what I’m dealing

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with when I’m going through those
bouts of depressive disorders and

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all of these, and it helps me put a
lid on those scenarios a lot quicker.

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Could you walk us through what abusive
brain chatter is in your definition?

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Okay, so abusive, you know, we all have
chatter in our head and we all have

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negative chatter from time to time.

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That’s normal and it’s never gonna stop.

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But abusive brain chatter, I call, is
that, that voice on steroids and it

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becomes abusive when it holds you back.

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Um, and the interesting thing about
abusive brain chatter is that it

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comes from our core beliefs and
that, we, it thinks it’s helping us.

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Um, it’s chattering at us in
some bizarre way to protect us.

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And that’s the, the most interesting part
that I found is, you know, when I started

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doing my book and when I started working
with clients, I started to actually

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listen to the abusive brain chatter.

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It’s a process that I do during my
coaching, which is to, you know, when a

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client will say, Well, I can’t do that,
uh, I’ll say, Okay, well let’s talk to

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that part of you that can’t do that.

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And we actually do some dialoguing.

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And usually what we find
out is that abusive brain

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chatter is there to keep you,

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hold you back because it doesn’t want
you to fail because it has these core

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beliefs that you were raised with.

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Maybe your mother thought you were
gonna fail, or your father thought

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you were a failure so it doesn’t
want you to experience that.

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So instead it chatters in your
brain, you’re never gonna be

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good enough, you’re never gonna
do that, and it holds you back.

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And that’s the difference between just
brain chatter and abusive brain chatter.

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And the, uh, uh, the, the interesting
correlation, and I think what’s a

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little more, you know, all of, people
in the health industry and mental health

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industry, you know, talk about this, that,
that voice in our head, that inner critic.

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It’s, it’s called many names, monkey
mind, all these kinds of things.

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But what’s interesting, what I, what
I tumbled on is that abusive brain

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chatter is just that it’s abusive.

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And so, uh, people tend to normalize
it and they tend to think, oh,

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you know, it’s just, oh God,
it’s just, I’m not good enough.

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That’s just the voice in my head.

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But if you really break down emotional
abusers, emotional abusers belittle

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you, they bully you, they gaslight
you, they make, they isolate you.

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Those are all the things that
abusive brain chatter does too.

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It does the very same thing, it belittles
you, it bullies you, it’ll, it’ll

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isolate you by keeping you home and on,
addicted to, to food, to drugs, to tv.

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Um, and so once you make that connection
that you’re living with an emotional

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abuser and that emotional abuser is you,

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I find that people are more motivated
to go, Oh, wow, yeah, no, that’s

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not a voice I wanna keep in my head.

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That’s, you know, that’s not an,
that’s not a voice that, that

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serves me, that’s emotional abuse.

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And so that’s part of the ABCs that,
that I talk about in my book is,

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the first step, uh, is awareness.

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And it’s not just awareness of what
the voice is saying, because that’s

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really important, um, to really kind
of tap into what your voice is saying.

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And I, and I talk about doing it like,
um, like a, uh, um, Jane Goodall, you

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know, like an anthropologist would be like
listening to, Hmm, isn’t that interesting?

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You know, this chimpanzee
does this, this and that.

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Well, you kind of do that with
your, your brain at first,

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your abusive brain chatter.

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You kind of go, Ha, this is interesting.

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Jacquie’s abusive brain chatter is talking
about the way she looks and, um, has a lot

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of negative things about the way I look.

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And, uh, my abusive brain chatter is
telling me, um, I can’t get another job,

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you know, I’m stuck in this dead end job.

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And so it’s really important
to first be aware of what

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your abusive brain chatter is.

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And of course the second part of
that awareness is that awareness

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of emotional abuse, you know,
keep a list on your computer.

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Keep a list somewhere where you
can say, Wow, when you start

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hearing these things in your head.

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You can say, Ah, that’s that, oh,
that’s belittling, oh, that’s,

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you know, that’s criticizing, oh,
I, you know, I see what that is,

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that’s gaslighting, I’m, I’m telling
myself not to believe myself.

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Um, and so that’s the first step
is to really, really be aware.

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And, you know, the second step
is the belief step, and this is

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kind of the spiritual portion.

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You know, when you said I was a certified
life coach, I eventually became a

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spiritual coach and a relationship
coach because I felt like the clients

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I were seeing had such abusive brain
chatter and they had no ability to,

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um, change that chatter they had.

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They, that’s all they knew.

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And so what I find about abusive
brain chatter is that you, you

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have to have a higher voice.

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You know, you’re not gonna
change your mind with your mind.

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Your abusive brain chatter has
been with you for many years.

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Mine was with me for forty-two years,
it still crops up, it cropped up

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a lot as I was writing this book.

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You know, the imposter syndrome, how can
you do this and, and all of those things.

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So it’s, it’s just, you know, it, it’s,
like I said, It’s always gonna be there.

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But the tool, the most important
thing is that I have done the work

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to find my inner loving voice.

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Um, and some people are okay with
calling it God, some people call

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it a higher power, some people call
it intuition, some people call it

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mother nature, some people call it,
uh, you know, you know, the spirit.

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Whatever it is, it’s, it’s, it’s the voice
that speaks more gentle and kindly to you.

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And that’s, uh, the second step
is, you know, you have to do

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some work to actually find that.

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And I take my clients often on
a journey to find that voice.

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Uh, a lot of people, uh, you know,
are so anti-religious that when I say

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I’m a spiritual coach, they say, Oh
no, no, I don’t wanna believe in God.

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I, you know, I don’t, you know, that was
my childhood and I was born Christian,

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Catholic, Jewish, and, or whatever it is.

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And, uh, no, I don’t, I don’t
wanna, I don’t wanna go there.

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And so what I often do is I often
take them on a gentle journey and that

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gentle journey is to find that voice.

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And once we find that voice, they can
name it whatever they want and they

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can access it whenever they want to.

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So that when they start belittling
themselves, and the third step

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that we go to is, challenging that.

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They actually have the ability to kind
of go, Hmm, let me just tap into myself.

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Let me tap into my kinder self and
know that, hmm, no, that’s not a kind

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thing that I wanna say to myself.

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You know, I don’t, I don’t talk
to myself that way anymore,

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you know?

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I, I call it my soul, I, I
protect, I protect my soul.

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And, you know, so when I’m saying
things that are mean to myself,

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like, Oh God, you look terrible.

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Or especially in aging, Oh my
God, look at all your wrinkles

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and you’re looking terrible.

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And I say to myself, you know,
I don’t wanna, I don’t, I

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don’t wanna hurt that soul.

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That’s, that’s not, something
I no longer wanna do, that was

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something I did as my younger self.

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But as my older self, you know, there,
there’s no way I want to crush that

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soul, uh, I wanna protect that soul.

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And so I do that through my beliefs and
that, being able to quiet that voice.

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And then the third part, of course, a
very important part is really challenging

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that core belief.

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So that’s the A, B, C challenge.

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And so first you have to understand
where your core beliefs come from.

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So I, you know, in my own life I
had a core belief that I was, uh,

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not, never gonna, that I was not
pretty and that I was never gonna

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be pretty enough to find a partner.

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And that finding a man was the most
important thing in life, you know, this

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is a core belief that I got from my
mother and maybe possibly from my father.

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The idea that, you know,
back then women get married.

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and, and so my mother was constantly
trying to fix me and change me, um, and

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that was a, a criticism, even though
she’d never meant it as a criticism.

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My mother loved me dearly, but anytime
she would try to change me, the

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message I got was, I’m not good enough.

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I’m not pretty enough, I’m
never gonna find, you know, no

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one’s ever gonna love me enough.

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And so that was a core belief that I
carried with me and as a result of that

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core belief, I chose a partner, um,
based on the fact that he just, he just

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wanted me, he was just attracted to me.

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I didn’t, I didn’t really have
any criteria for him being the

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kind of person that I wanted.

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It was more important that I was
the kind of person that he wanted,

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and so no surprise, I found a
narcissist and, you know, somebody

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who was emotionally abusive.

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Uh, because I, I was drawn to the fact
that he immediately was attracted to

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me and that started to feed my ego.

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But as I got further into the
relationship, I realized that,

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um, you know, he was just feeding
my core belief that I’m not good

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enough, and that he’s the only
one who’s gonna love me, and that,

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um, uh, you know, for whatever
reason and being gas, gaslighted.

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I was gaslit a lot in my marriage.

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And so I, of course, uh, went
into my addiction, which was

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food binge, binge uh, eating.

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And that’s how I coped, which
then, of course, fed the fear and

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the shame and kept me isolated.

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So all of those core beliefs, you know,
those core beliefs that I had at, from

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childhood really guided my life up
until I was about forty-two years old.

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And that’s when I said, Enough.

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That’s when I said to myself, Do I
wanna live the next forty-two years like

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I’ve lived the past forty-two years?

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The past forty-two years of
beating myself up, hating myself.

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Um, leaving that, uh, emotionally
abusive relationship and taking

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my emotional abuser with me,

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I didn’t recognize that.

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I thought I left the relationship
and so, oh, good for me.

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But the reality is, for the next five or
ten years, I continue to, um, to, to carry

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those beliefs and to say, Oh, you’re never
gonna find anyone, no one’s ever gonna

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love you, and you’re not pretty enough.

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And, you know, and all of
those things I, I took with me.

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And so that, that day, and, and I know
it was a day in June when I was laying

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on my bed, I talk about this in my book,
you know, a lot how, you know, what, what

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00:14:36,464 –> 00:14:39,045
that aha moment is, and how I got there.

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Um, I was laying on my bed and I
said, Um, I can’t, I can’t breathe.

209
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I was off of work for the day
and I had my asthma inhaler,

210
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I had, I had severe asthma,
I just couldn’t breathe.

211
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And I had my remote control because I
was a binge watcher, you know, I would

212
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just watch whatever I could watch.

213
00:15:01,714 –> 00:15:04,890
I, I would watch, you know,
Maury Povich, whatever it was.

214
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The TV had to be on because the TV
could drown out that chatter, right?

215
00:15:10,589 –> 00:15:16,365
And then I had a big box of cereal
in my lap and I was eating the cereal

216
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just, you know, until it was finished,
uh, you know, uh, an entire box.

217
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I mean, literally I would open a
box and then I would crunch on it.

218
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Um, and crunching would
like drown out the noise.

219
00:15:28,635 –> 00:15:32,445
It was a box of, uh, uh, mini
frosted wheats, you know, with

220
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the frosting on one side and the
shredded wheat on the other side.

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So I crunched the, and they’re wonderful
for binge eaters because, again,

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you get that crunch and drowns out
all, all of the things in your head.

223
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But we all know what happens when
you’re finished binge eating.

224
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I mean, there comes your abusive brain
chatter going, Oh, God, you’re so full.

225
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You’re so fat, you’re never gonna get
thin, never getting off this couch.

226
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And so that, that happened that day and
I was like, I can’t do this anymore.

227
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I, you know, I can’t do this anymore.

228
00:16:05,520 –> 00:16:09,540
And that’s when I really had
my aha, spiritual awakening.

229
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I knew that I couldn’t stop it.

230
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That, you know, I’d been to therapy
for fifteen or twenty years,

231
00:16:16,439 –> 00:16:18,330
and not that therapy is bad,

232
00:16:18,420 –> 00:16:21,000
you know, I mean, it, it helped
for what it did, but it didn’t

233
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stop my abusive brain chatter.

234
00:16:23,580 –> 00:16:25,740
No amount of therapy was gonna stop that.

235
00:16:26,430 –> 00:16:32,430
Um, so I had to find a spiritual
answer for me and I did.

236
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That, that day I got some, uh, I got
some help, I, I joined a spiritual group.

237
00:16:37,980 –> 00:16:44,130
I, uh, I called a therapist at the, you
know, and I literally just got down on

238
00:16:44,130 –> 00:16:46,800
my knees and I said, I’m surrendering.

239
00:16:47,100 –> 00:16:51,900
Uh, some, you know, you gotta show
me the way, you gotta help me now.

240
00:16:52,020 –> 00:16:58,290
Whoever you are or wherever you are, you
have to, you have to, just shout at me,

241
00:16:59,070 –> 00:17:03,540
you have to tap me on the shoulder and you
have to take me the rest of this journey

242
00:17:03,780 –> 00:17:06,150
because I can’t, I can’t go there alone.

243
00:17:06,780 –> 00:17:10,830
And, um, and that was really
the turning point in my life.

244
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I mean, it took many years
to untangle all of that.

245
00:17:17,805 –> 00:17:23,835
But the key was, I think the initial
key was understanding that I had

246
00:17:23,835 –> 00:17:25,755
a loving voice in me somewhere.

247
00:17:26,385 –> 00:17:30,795
And the key then became challenging it.

248
00:17:31,545 –> 00:17:36,840
And, you know, the first thing I had
to do was make an amends to myself for,

249
00:17:36,899 –> 00:17:42,540
um, always beating up on myself for
doing things that were destructive.

250
00:17:42,540 –> 00:17:47,490
I did a lot of destructive behavior
in my life and I had to, I had

251
00:17:47,490 –> 00:17:51,719
to quiet the shame, I had to
just start letting go of things.

252
00:17:52,020 –> 00:17:55,620
You know, letting go of shame, shame
doesn’t fit in my life anymore.

253
00:17:56,070 –> 00:18:00,090
Um, if I start behaving differently,
I have nothing to shame.

254
00:18:00,270 –> 00:18:03,419
So I had to start eating
differently so that I,

255
00:18:03,495 –> 00:18:05,925
so that I could quiet that shame voice.

256
00:18:06,225 –> 00:18:12,195
I had to start exercising, I had
to start, uh, showing up for myself

257
00:18:12,794 –> 00:18:16,844
and, um, then I had to, like I
said, challenge those core beliefs.

258
00:18:16,844 –> 00:18:19,395
And in my book, I write about the process.

259
00:18:19,395 –> 00:18:22,995
There were different core beliefs I
had to challenge, I had to challenge

260
00:18:22,995 –> 00:18:24,495
a core belief that I was weak.

261
00:18:25,225 –> 00:18:29,005
And, uh, my asthma, that my, you know,
because I was always, you know, when

262
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you, when you watch a movie, I always
say this, you know, you watch a movie

263
00:18:32,215 –> 00:18:37,560
with kids, um, you know, the nerd is the
one who has the asthma inhaler, right?

264
00:18:38,010 –> 00:18:42,280
You know, that’s the one who’s the, the
nerdy one, the one that’s, you know,

265
00:18:42,280 –> 00:18:46,260
that people laugh at, or the weak one
is the one with the asthma inhaler.

266
00:18:46,530 –> 00:18:47,970
So I had to fight that.

267
00:18:48,240 –> 00:18:52,800
That belief that, uh, I was the
nerdy one, I was the weak one.

268
00:18:53,310 –> 00:18:58,260
And of course, as I started eating
better, and I started exercising, and

269
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I started just letting go of all the
things that I was just holding, you know,

270
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that I was, that I stopped breathing,
you know, um, my asthma improved.

271
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Just surprise, you know?

272
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And so I had to do that.

273
00:19:13,395 –> 00:19:20,315
And another thing I did was I, I ran
a, I did a five, uh, a triathlon.

274
00:19:20,375 –> 00:19:25,145
Well, I came in last,
but I did a triathlon.

275
00:19:25,145 –> 00:19:30,095
You know, somebody who’s told they can’t
exercise, they’re, they’re not strong.

276
00:19:30,095 –> 00:19:30,305
Yeah.

277
00:19:30,515 –> 00:19:30,875
Yeah.

278
00:19:30,875 –> 00:19:34,835
And, you know, and, and I even had
to be pulled out of the water by the,

279
00:19:34,895 –> 00:19:36,905
the thing, but I, I’d finished it.

280
00:19:37,325 –> 00:19:42,515
And what I learned at that moment
is I can challenge any core belief,

281
00:19:42,515 –> 00:19:44,435
it doesn’t have to be perfect.

282
00:19:44,435 –> 00:19:46,745
I don’t have, I didn’t
have to come in first.

283
00:19:48,120 –> 00:19:54,030
I can challenge it and I can
step by step start changing those

284
00:19:54,030 –> 00:19:57,000
beliefs and that’s what I did.

285
00:19:57,480 –> 00:20:01,950
And, you know, in terms of my
relationships and dating, instead of

286
00:20:02,774 –> 00:20:08,235
going out dating and saying, Pick me,
pick me, pick me, I went out and went,

287
00:20:08,355 –> 00:20:11,985
Hmm, let me sit for a little while
and see if this man interests me.

288
00:20:12,495 –> 00:20:17,205
And if he does, then I’ll, you know, and
we fit, then I’ll go out on another date.

289
00:20:17,685 –> 00:20:22,245
But it was no longer, Oh, I, I’ll be,
I’ll be whatever you need me to be.

290
00:20:22,784 –> 00:20:27,405
I, I suddenly had a core,
I, I was who I wanted to be.

291
00:20:27,405 –> 00:20:30,885
And then of course, as a result
of that, I found a partner that

292
00:20:30,889 –> 00:20:33,614
fit just perfectly with who I was.

293
00:20:34,425 –> 00:20:39,790
And so, um, that was really,
you know, the, the start of it.

294
00:20:39,790 –> 00:20:46,830
And after that, I, I quit my job, uh, a
few years later and I went out on my own.

295
00:20:46,919 –> 00:20:50,459
You know, I used to work sixty
hours to get paid for forty hours

296
00:20:50,490 –> 00:20:54,000
’cause I thought I wasn’t worth,
I wasn’t a worthy employee.

297
00:20:54,179 –> 00:20:58,919
Well, I learned also, I learned that that
was wrong, that I had a lot of value.

298
00:20:59,189 –> 00:21:05,870
And, uh, as a result I felt confident
to go out and open my own business and

299
00:21:05,870 –> 00:21:10,610
become the CEO of my own business with,
uh, you know, five or six employees.

300
00:21:10,670 –> 00:21:14,960
And then I had the courage to
go back to school, I wanted to

301
00:21:14,960 –> 00:21:16,940
get my degree in psychology.

302
00:21:17,330 –> 00:21:23,240
And so I went back to school for three
or four years before realizing that, um,

303
00:21:23,665 –> 00:21:28,645
at my age, it was gonna just take me too
long to finish that degree, and I wanted

304
00:21:28,645 –> 00:21:30,504
to start helping people right away.

305
00:21:30,804 –> 00:21:36,175
So I went back and got my certificate in
coaching, and then life coaching, and then

306
00:21:36,175 –> 00:21:40,705
I went, and then I realized I need more
information, more knowledge, and I went

307
00:21:40,705 –> 00:21:45,564
and got my certificate in relationship
coaching and spiritual coaching.

308
00:21:45,955 –> 00:21:53,520
And as a result, I, I started to really
hear that abusive brain chatter in others.

309
00:21:53,930 –> 00:22:01,100
And I said, No, this, this has gotta stop
and I have the tools now to help people.

310
00:22:01,460 –> 00:22:05,120
That’s the first thing I do when I,
you know, when, when a client comes

311
00:22:05,120 –> 00:22:08,540
to me is, you know, we, we set goals.

312
00:22:08,540 –> 00:22:10,730
Of course, as a life
coach, that’s what we do.

313
00:22:10,730 –> 00:22:11,660
We move forward.

314
00:22:11,660 –> 00:22:16,005
But, but the thing is, why
aren’t you reaching your goals?

315
00:22:16,005 –> 00:22:17,895
What’s, what are your blocks?

316
00:22:18,375 –> 00:22:22,044
And we start looking at those
blocks and often the blocks are

317
00:22:23,514 –> 00:22:25,004
abusive brain chatter, right?

318
00:22:25,215 –> 00:22:29,235
So we, we start addressing that
and I start listening to it.

319
00:22:29,235 –> 00:22:32,745
And then I started saying, No,
no, I got, I gotta write a book

320
00:22:32,745 –> 00:22:34,635
about this or, or do a TED talk.

321
00:22:34,635 –> 00:22:36,705
That was my goal, I
wanted to do a TED talk.

322
00:22:37,185 –> 00:22:42,385
But I realized, first I have to get really
clear with what I, what my message is.

323
00:22:42,385 –> 00:22:48,295
So I just finished this book and it’s due
out in November, and so that’s my journey.

324
00:22:48,415 –> 00:22:53,125
And, you know, it’s, it’s ongoing, it’s
completely, like I said, it’s ongoing.

325
00:22:53,125 –> 00:22:57,385
You know, if anybody out there has abusive
brain chatter, you’re gonna hear it.

326
00:22:57,415 –> 00:22:58,435
You’re gonna hear it.

327
00:22:58,435 –> 00:23:07,845
But, you know, the tips are to pause,
be aware of it, categorize it and

328
00:23:07,845 –> 00:23:09,495
say, Yeah, yeah, that’s abusive.

329
00:23:09,524 –> 00:23:10,004
Okay.

330
00:23:10,425 –> 00:23:16,335
And then tap into yourself
and say, No, I need, I need, I

331
00:23:16,335 –> 00:23:17,835
need to be guided out of this.

332
00:23:17,835 –> 00:23:21,705
I need a higher voice to help me with
this, with abusive brain chatter.

333
00:23:21,705 –> 00:23:23,685
And is that really true?

334
00:23:24,105 –> 00:23:27,795
Do I really have to be
beautiful to get married?

335
00:23:28,125 –> 00:23:29,115
Is that really true?

336
00:23:29,115 –> 00:23:30,585
Am I not good enough?

337
00:23:30,855 –> 00:23:34,185
You know, here I’ve got my degrees, I’ve
got my this, I’ve got my, that, I’ve

338
00:23:34,185 –> 00:23:37,965
got a good paying job, I’ve got a, you
know, is, is all of that really true?

339
00:23:37,965 –> 00:23:39,315
Am I really not enough?

340
00:23:39,375 –> 00:23:43,035
And if I feel like I’m not
enough, what steps do I need

341
00:23:43,570 –> 00:23:45,429
to make me feel like I’m enough?

342
00:23:45,429 –> 00:23:47,649
What goals do I need to set?

343
00:23:48,010 –> 00:23:49,239
What’s holding me back?

344
00:23:49,659 –> 00:23:53,169
Uh, if, if it’s because I think, like
the imposter syndrome, maybe I don’t

345
00:23:53,169 –> 00:23:58,689
have enough, enough degrees, or I don’t
have enough training, well, then what

346
00:23:58,689 –> 00:24:00,610
steps do I need to take to go train?

347
00:24:00,610 –> 00:24:04,120
Just like I realized when I
was coaching that I needed more

348
00:24:04,659 –> 00:24:08,475
information, I needed more education.

349
00:24:08,505 –> 00:24:13,725
And so instead of just saying, Oh
no, this life coaching isn’t for me,

350
00:24:13,725 –> 00:24:15,495
I, I just don’t feel like I have it.

351
00:24:15,495 –> 00:24:18,885
I just, I said, Okay, what
more information do I need to

352
00:24:18,885 –> 00:24:20,535
be a really good life coach?

353
00:24:20,925 –> 00:24:23,745
And then I took the steps to do it.

354
00:24:26,235 –> 00:24:30,735
Augment yourself with
all of these tools, yeah.

355
00:24:32,430 –> 00:24:33,300
Exactly.

356
00:24:33,300 –> 00:24:36,390
That’s, that’s the, uh,
that’s the A, B, C method.

357
00:24:37,800 –> 00:24:38,250
Yeah.

358
00:24:38,670 –> 00:24:39,990
Uh, I like it a lot.

359
00:24:40,050 –> 00:24:45,420
You know, and very interesting
going back to the beginning, you,

360
00:24:45,420 –> 00:24:48,125
you kind of touched on it, where

361
00:24:51,690 –> 00:24:58,695
our framing of our past
really is who we are.

362
00:24:58,995 –> 00:25:04,064
And if we don’t recognize
that, the behavior will

363
00:25:04,064 –> 00:25:06,675
continue, continue, continue.

364
00:25:07,215 –> 00:25:13,004
I was lucky enough to find a good
woman and she set me straight and

365
00:25:13,004 –> 00:25:20,955
she was strong enough to put up
with, uh, an immature adolescent.

366
00:25:20,985 –> 00:25:26,355
You know, we got together at seventeen
and, you know, here in a couple

367
00:25:26,355 –> 00:25:33,965
weeks, uh, we’ve been married forty
years, uh, together forty-two.

368
00:25:34,635 –> 00:25:38,730
So forty-two years with a woman that has

369
00:25:41,000 –> 00:25:42,495
helped me grow.

370
00:25:43,035 –> 00:25:48,764
And at the same time, I’ve helped
her grow by understanding that

371
00:25:48,764 –> 00:25:55,004
we need each other to grow and
the rest is just ups and downs.

372
00:25:55,065 –> 00:26:02,840
So a lot of life comes with,
you know, just doing it.

373
00:26:03,900 –> 00:26:09,660
And that fear that holds you
back from just doing it, it

374
00:26:09,660 –> 00:26:11,940
can really devastate your life.

375
00:26:11,940 –> 00:26:17,190
And that, that chatter that you
talk about that tells you I’m not

376
00:26:17,280 –> 00:26:26,700
good enough, I’m an imposter, all of
these mandate that you be this way.

377
00:26:27,540 –> 00:26:33,330
You’ve gotta toss that book aside
and be a cornucopia, be who you

378
00:26:33,570 –> 00:26:39,629
truly want to be, not who somebody
else thinks you should be.

379
00:26:39,929 –> 00:26:44,100
And if, if you truly find
that gift, it is a blessing

380
00:26:44,100 –> 00:26:45,240
in many ways.

381
00:26:45,629 –> 00:26:53,639
I am a believer of Christ myself
and to many people, you know, that’s

382
00:26:53,639 –> 00:27:00,645
disturbing but I find comfort in
it and I’m solid in my belief.

383
00:27:01,004 –> 00:27:06,405
But I can be challenged without
behaving erratic because I

384
00:27:06,405 –> 00:27:08,445
am so solid in my belief.

385
00:27:09,014 –> 00:27:15,165
So it’s okay to be challenged and you
should challenge what you believe.

386
00:27:15,675 –> 00:27:22,040
And I like that last C is
challenge that, reflection is big.

387
00:27:22,875 –> 00:27:28,455
You know, all, all of this A, B,
C of what you’ve laid out is very

388
00:27:28,455 –> 00:27:31,395
important for a stabilized life.

389
00:27:32,055 –> 00:27:35,325
And, you know, you, you said what?

390
00:27:35,325 –> 00:27:36,325
forty-five?

391
00:27:36,345 –> 00:27:42,805
You started to get it and click, or
forty, it didn’t hit me until fifty.

392
00:27:43,305 –> 00:27:50,485
And, you know, that, now I’m on a good
roll with it and I’m about to turn sixty.

393
00:27:50,535 –> 00:27:58,800
So now I’m having fun in life, even
though I have a lot of different misery,

394
00:27:58,800 –> 00:28:06,660
and pain, and suffering all around me,
in myself, but yet I understand that

395
00:28:06,690 –> 00:28:15,175
that’s okay and tomorrow’s gonna be
tomorrow no matter how I perceive the day.

396
00:28:15,805 –> 00:28:21,655
So if we can encourage ourself to
look for the good in all of the bad

397
00:28:21,655 –> 00:28:24,895
that surrounds us, you’ll find it.

398
00:28:25,465 –> 00:28:31,675
Flowers grow in the crack of
concrete, and if you’re able to

399
00:28:31,675 –> 00:28:34,585
spot that, that’s where beauty lies.

400
00:28:35,865 –> 00:28:36,135
Yeah.

401
00:28:36,135 –> 00:28:39,195
I, I loved what you said, that, you
know, you’re a follower of Christ.

402
00:28:39,195 –> 00:28:44,295
And, um, everybody has their own path
and that’s really, that is every, but,

403
00:28:44,295 –> 00:28:49,665
but what I say is that if your path
isn’t taking you to love, you know,

404
00:28:49,695 –> 00:28:52,504
Jesus was a, a, a person of love.

405
00:28:52,504 –> 00:28:58,445
He, he preached love, and kindness,
and tolerance, and all of those things.

406
00:28:58,504 –> 00:29:03,034
And so what I say to people when I
help them find their spiritual center

407
00:29:03,034 –> 00:29:08,014
is that if you haven’t found a loving
kind, God, if you have found a punishing

408
00:29:08,375 –> 00:29:15,115
voice inside of you, you haven’t found
the spirit, you haven’t found it yet.

409
00:29:15,385 –> 00:29:18,715
Because, uh, and that’s why
it’s okay whatever you believe.

410
00:29:18,715 –> 00:29:24,685
You know, Buddha, uh, Jesus, you know,
we’re all on our own path, but our, our

411
00:29:24,685 –> 00:29:29,575
goal is to be our best selves, to be our
authentic selves, to be our truest self.

412
00:29:29,635 –> 00:29:34,650
And whoever leads us to that
is okay, I, I respect that.

413
00:29:34,650 –> 00:29:38,610
I think that’s, that’s wonderful,
I have complete respect for that.

414
00:29:38,940 –> 00:29:43,110
And, um, the other thing I wanted to
say was that, you know, you mentioned

415
00:29:43,110 –> 00:29:48,300
that at fifty you found that, and a lot
of people do come to, you know, part

416
00:29:48,300 –> 00:29:51,225
in their life where they’re getting
older and, you know, I haven’t got time

417
00:29:51,225 –> 00:29:53,670
for the pain as, uh, Carly Simon said.

418
00:29:53,970 –> 00:29:56,760
I, you know, ’cause tick-tock,
tick-tock is what I always say.

419
00:29:56,760 –> 00:30:01,020
tick-tock, tick-tock, do I wanna spend the
next ten years beating myself up, right?

420
00:30:01,560 –> 00:30:06,240
But there’s still a lot of people I, I
know and I work with who are in their

421
00:30:06,240 –> 00:30:10,950
sixties and seventies who are still
doing it, they haven’t learned that.

422
00:30:11,040 –> 00:30:15,780
And I find that really sad because I
think to myself, Wow, you know, I’m

423
00:30:15,780 –> 00:30:20,040
seventy-three and so, you know, I don’t
know how many more years I have left.

424
00:30:20,040 –> 00:30:24,450
Maybe I have ten, maybe I have
fifteen, but, you know, I had a bad

425
00:30:24,450 –> 00:30:29,130
health scare this year that reminded
me that, I could have tomorrow.

426
00:30:29,220 –> 00:30:36,915
And so it’s even more important
as we age to really, um, know who

427
00:30:36,915 –> 00:30:40,005
that voice is and, and let it go.

428
00:30:40,395 –> 00:30:44,775
And it’s going to keep screaming
at you until you find those tools.

429
00:30:45,285 –> 00:30:50,535
I, I don’t know if you ever watch,
um, uh, was it, uh, Family Guy?

430
00:30:50,565 –> 00:30:50,745
Yeah.

431
00:30:50,745 –> 00:30:54,945
Well, there’s this little character on
it named Stewie, and there’s this, this

432
00:30:54,945 –> 00:30:59,865
little bit that he did where he was
going, mom, mommy, mommy, mom, mom, mom.

433
00:31:00,165 –> 00:31:04,005
And he did that for about, you
know, fifteen or twenty-five

434
00:31:04,025 –> 00:31:09,245
seconds just pulling at, at, uh,
Lois’s, his mother’s apron strings.

435
00:31:09,915 –> 00:31:13,055
And I just, I think that’s
hilarious because, to me, that’s

436
00:31:13,055 –> 00:31:14,555
what abusive brain chatter is.

437
00:31:14,825 –> 00:31:20,660
It’s trying to get your attention
and if you don’t turn around and

438
00:31:20,660 –> 00:31:25,540
face it, it’s just gonna keep going,
Jacquie, Jacquie, Jacquie, Jacquie,

439
00:31:25,639 –> 00:31:28,250
Jacquie, Jacquie, danger, danger.

440
00:31:28,310 –> 00:31:29,120
Oh, the danger.

441
00:31:29,210 –> 00:31:29,660
Danger.

442
00:31:30,080 –> 00:31:35,840
And, you know, I do my, my Instagram and
my Instagram posts now, I do a bit where I

443
00:31:35,840 –> 00:31:41,870
am actually the abusive brain chatter and
myself, so that I, I teach people how to

444
00:31:42,620 –> 00:31:44,570
talk to abusive brain chatter, you know?

445
00:31:44,570 –> 00:31:47,629
And, and the abusive brain, I’ll
look in the mirror, like I did one

446
00:31:47,629 –> 00:31:50,780
where I’m looking on Zoom and then
my abusive brain chatter comes and

447
00:31:50,780 –> 00:31:52,550
says, Oh my God, you look terrible.

448
00:31:52,550 –> 00:31:54,500
You know, put a filter on you look awful.

449
00:31:54,710 –> 00:31:57,260
You know, this, you should
have gotten your facelift.

450
00:31:57,500 –> 00:31:59,120
Oh my God, you know?

451
00:31:59,120 –> 00:32:02,905
And, um, and so I teach
people how to talk to it.

452
00:32:02,905 –> 00:32:04,044
Like, well, you know what?

453
00:32:04,284 –> 00:32:08,514
No, I’m not gonna hide my face from the
world, you know, I’m turning on my camera.

454
00:32:08,635 –> 00:32:11,274
Uh, people need to, you know,
it’s okay for people to see me.

455
00:32:11,514 –> 00:32:14,004
And what you think of me is
none of my business you know?

456
00:32:14,185 –> 00:32:17,995
I did one in a bathing suit where I was
looking in the mirror in a bathing suit.

457
00:32:17,995 –> 00:32:20,395
Well, that’s pretty hard at my age, right?

458
00:32:21,415 –> 00:32:26,660
But I realized I gotta talk to that
abusive brain chatter and say, No, I’m

459
00:32:26,660 –> 00:32:30,350
not gonna not go swimming just because
you say I look terrible in a bathing suit.

460
00:32:30,620 –> 00:32:31,820
You know, I’m gonna go to the beach.

461
00:32:31,820 –> 00:32:32,720
I’m gonna go swimming.

462
00:32:32,960 –> 00:32:36,800
So, so I teach people how to do
that in a kind of a funny way.

463
00:32:38,245 –> 00:32:38,665
Yep.

464
00:32:39,445 –> 00:32:39,835
Yeah.

465
00:32:40,025 –> 00:32:45,044
You know, you, you mentioned
that, that self-doubt and being

466
00:32:45,044 –> 00:32:50,534
okay with who you are, it’s
great to feel okay with yourself.

467
00:32:51,225 –> 00:32:56,385
My wife had to come in before I
started this chat with you today

468
00:32:56,385 –> 00:33:03,165
because I was out doing some things
and I had my hat on and I don’t think

469
00:33:03,225 –> 00:33:05,745
too much about what I look like.

470
00:33:05,895 –> 00:33:11,955
I just go and she, Oh, you’ve got
to take that hat off and combs

471
00:33:11,955 –> 00:33:13,965
my hair for me and all that.

472
00:33:14,415 –> 00:33:19,919
And, you know, I, it’s because
it, it doesn’t matter to me.

473
00:33:19,919 –> 00:33:25,500
And I do understand that I should try
to appear pleasant and all of that,

474
00:33:25,679 –> 00:33:27,510
but I wanna be real with people.

475
00:33:27,510 –> 00:33:33,860
And the, the more I can do that
naturally, the better person I

476
00:33:33,860 –> 00:33:39,629
become because then I can treat
others with that same expectation.

477
00:33:40,199 –> 00:33:47,129
And you don’t have to look like a,
a Sports Illustrated model to get my

478
00:33:47,129 –> 00:33:56,070
attention, my attention comes from who you
are and what you have to offer the world.

479
00:33:56,070 –> 00:33:56,705
It’s not about me.

480
00:33:58,034 –> 00:34:03,855
You know, and we were talking about that
earlier, about that self-centered life.

481
00:34:04,065 –> 00:34:08,685
You have to tear that down and
really open up to that there’s

482
00:34:08,685 –> 00:34:11,145
something higher than me.

483
00:34:11,625 –> 00:34:18,225
And when you find that B belief,
boy, it opens up doorways.

484
00:34:18,764 –> 00:34:21,614
I, I love that it’s in your ABCs.

485
00:34:23,490 –> 00:34:24,150
Yes.

486
00:34:24,150 –> 00:34:28,980
And, you know, uh, one of the
meditations I take people through is

487
00:34:28,980 –> 00:34:31,110
actually unzipping your earth suit.

488
00:34:31,620 –> 00:34:32,820
I call it your earth suit.

489
00:34:32,820 –> 00:34:36,389
Because when you look at it like
your earth suit, you know, I came to

490
00:34:36,389 –> 00:34:41,045
earth with this, you know, um, uh,
with these legs, uh, my thighs, I,

491
00:34:41,045 –> 00:34:43,985
that’s the way they were, you know,
I got short arms, you know, I’ve

492
00:34:43,985 –> 00:34:48,605
got, I, this is how my, my earth suit
is and I can’t take credit for it.

493
00:34:48,635 –> 00:34:51,875
You know, it’s like the only
thing I can do, and I say is

494
00:34:51,875 –> 00:34:53,135
that, Yeah, you care for it.

495
00:34:53,615 –> 00:34:57,185
You’re responsible for caring for
it, so you’re responsible for keeping

496
00:34:57,185 –> 00:34:59,855
it healthy and groomed, right?

497
00:35:00,035 –> 00:35:04,175
Those are the two things that you’re,
otherwise, when you, and what happens

498
00:35:04,175 –> 00:35:09,700
when you unzip your earth suit is
that you feel this white light, the,

499
00:35:09,705 –> 00:35:14,775
the who you are, you free yourself
from who you are on the outside.

500
00:35:14,865 –> 00:35:22,365
And so suddenly your light gets brighter
and I’m like you, I mean, I, I love

501
00:35:22,365 –> 00:35:24,585
to see people whose lights shine.

502
00:35:25,035 –> 00:35:32,235
I think aging is so beautiful because
I see so many people who are, are aging

503
00:35:32,565 –> 00:35:36,255
and, uh, with such grace and acceptance.

504
00:35:36,285 –> 00:35:40,515
And I look into their, their
faces and I look into all that

505
00:35:40,515 –> 00:35:41,985
they’ve been through and all that.

506
00:35:42,194 –> 00:35:45,015
You know, as we age, we
can give back so much more.

507
00:35:45,345 –> 00:35:47,325
You know, and we wanna
give back so much more.

508
00:35:47,325 –> 00:35:50,745
So the souls are what I look, I look for.

509
00:35:51,165 –> 00:35:57,345
And, um, and so I, you know, you hit
the nail on the head it’s not about how

510
00:35:57,345 –> 00:35:59,055
we look, that’s just our earth suit.

511
00:35:59,085 –> 00:36:01,125
It’s, it’s about who we are.

512
00:36:01,635 –> 00:36:05,325
And we can’t be who we are if
we’re doing this to ourselves.

513
00:36:05,325 –> 00:36:09,975
So I say, Free yourself from this
body and go explore how large you

514
00:36:09,975 –> 00:36:12,375
can make that inner white light.

515
00:36:14,295 –> 00:36:14,835
That’s right.

516
00:36:15,285 –> 00:36:18,255
You know, and the quicker we
can do that, the quicker we can

517
00:36:18,255 –> 00:36:22,290
become our natural, who we are.

518
00:36:22,785 –> 00:36:26,400
And, and it’s okay to
be that, I, I guarantee.

519
00:36:26,670 –> 00:36:34,620
And don’t let pressures surround you
to the point where you succumb to the

520
00:36:34,620 –> 00:36:37,830
pressure, it’s, it’s just not worth it.

521
00:36:38,100 –> 00:36:42,630
And setting boundaries in
your life is the key to that.

522
00:36:43,170 –> 00:36:48,510
And understanding boundaries are
for yourself not for other people.

523
00:36:48,890 –> 00:36:56,790
So if it offends other people, that’s
okay because if, if it offends other

524
00:36:56,790 –> 00:37:04,185
people, they’re not really considering
who you are, what you are, and most

525
00:37:04,185 –> 00:37:07,695
importantly, what you want around you.

526
00:37:07,695 –> 00:37:09,615
So they’re not part of it.

527
00:37:10,125 –> 00:37:16,545
And I, I wanna share my muddy
shoe, uh, little thing here.

528
00:37:18,960 –> 00:37:25,350
Life is like a muddy shoe and
we’re walking down a muddy trail.

529
00:37:25,950 –> 00:37:31,049
The people, places, and things
are the mud in our life.

530
00:37:31,560 –> 00:37:38,190
And, you know, you’ve walked down
those muddy trails and there’s

531
00:37:38,190 –> 00:37:40,319
different variations of mud.

532
00:37:40,319 –> 00:37:44,790
There’s light mud, and then
there’s that cling on heavy mud.

533
00:37:45,585 –> 00:37:50,295
You wanna get rid of that cling on
heavy mud because it’s gonna make you

534
00:37:50,444 –> 00:37:53,895
tire, it’s going to make you give up.

535
00:37:54,435 –> 00:37:59,145
And find the first rock and
free yourself from heavy mud.

536
00:37:59,685 –> 00:38:05,055
And the really liquidy mud, it’s
gonna soak up into the fibers of

537
00:38:05,055 –> 00:38:07,275
your shoe and be with you for life.

538
00:38:07,605 –> 00:38:12,975
And if we can learn to shake
off the heavy, we can really get

539
00:38:12,975 –> 00:38:18,945
down the trail a lot further with
a lot less stress in our life.

540
00:38:19,125 –> 00:38:22,245
And that’s by setting those
boundaries that we talked about.

541
00:38:23,145 –> 00:38:24,035
I love that.

542
00:38:24,195 –> 00:38:28,545
I love that, I’m a big, uh, analogy
person and I love that analogy.

543
00:38:28,545 –> 00:38:28,815
Yeah.

544
00:38:28,815 –> 00:38:30,915
That, you know, I, I like to see that.

545
00:38:30,915 –> 00:38:32,040
And, yes.

546
00:38:32,070 –> 00:38:36,240
And, um, I, there’s also a great
expression that I say a lot to

547
00:38:36,240 –> 00:38:40,080
myself is, If one of us is going to
be angry, it might as well be you.

548
00:38:40,259 –> 00:38:42,840
So I’m gonna set my boundary, right?

549
00:38:43,200 –> 00:38:46,380
Because otherwise I’m
gonna hold a resentment.

550
00:38:46,380 –> 00:38:50,100
If I haven’t, if I, if I’ve
allowed you to trample my boundary,

551
00:38:50,430 –> 00:38:51,660
I’m gonna hold a resentment.

552
00:38:51,660 –> 00:38:53,310
And that’s just like poison for me.

553
00:38:53,310 –> 00:38:55,860
So if one of us has gotta
be mad, let it be you.

554
00:38:58,515 –> 00:38:59,234
That’s right.

555
00:38:59,595 –> 00:39:05,384
And, and that’s okay because that’s
how we clarify who we’re around

556
00:39:05,384 –> 00:39:10,634
in our, and, and our life is so
important, that clarification.

557
00:39:10,904 –> 00:39:17,535
The quicker we can become who we
are, it’s by recognizing who we’re

558
00:39:17,535 –> 00:39:20,294
around, and that’s what we become.

559
00:39:20,654 –> 00:39:27,375
And I’ll tell you, it’s not too
hard once you get that formulation

560
00:39:28,395 –> 00:39:31,425
to become a decent, happy person.

561
00:39:31,635 –> 00:39:35,805
You might not be the richest person,
you might not be the prettiest

562
00:39:35,865 –> 00:39:41,985
person, you very well might not be
the popular person in the room, but

563
00:39:41,985 –> 00:39:43,785
you’re gonna be happy with yourself.

564
00:39:44,115 –> 00:39:46,285
And that’s what’s really important.

565
00:39:47,565 –> 00:39:51,975
You know, um, one of the things that
I’ll, I’ll share with, with your, uh,

566
00:39:52,005 –> 00:39:57,910
listeners is that, uh, it’s really
important to live within your values,

567
00:39:57,910 –> 00:40:00,430
and I think we forget that along the way.

568
00:40:00,430 –> 00:40:04,569
It sounds like you’re a man who lives
within your values and your values,

569
00:40:04,569 –> 00:40:08,200
sounds like they’re love, they’re
kindness, they’re teaching, you

570
00:40:08,200 –> 00:40:10,089
know, tolerance, all of those things.

571
00:40:10,419 –> 00:40:14,799
And so what I say to people, in
fact, I even have a little, uh, I, I

572
00:40:14,799 –> 00:40:19,190
have one of these little, uh, it’s,
it’s a, uh, thing I give out to my

573
00:40:19,190 –> 00:40:20,960
clients, it’s what do you value?

574
00:40:20,960 –> 00:40:22,070
It’s a post-it note.

575
00:40:22,670 –> 00:40:27,830
And so what you do is you take the post-it
note, you peel off, you know, you peel off

576
00:40:27,830 –> 00:40:33,085
about five or six of ’em, and you write on
there what, on each one, what you value.

577
00:40:34,215 –> 00:40:37,485
And, um, and then you
start moving them around.

578
00:40:37,995 –> 00:40:39,435
Do I value this over this?

579
00:40:39,435 –> 00:40:41,025
Do I value this over this?

580
00:40:41,205 –> 00:40:46,545
Do I value this over this until you
come to, you know, really core values.

581
00:40:46,605 –> 00:40:49,815
And then you ask yourself, you
do the work and you ask yourself,

582
00:40:50,265 –> 00:40:52,305
Am I living within those values?

583
00:40:52,335 –> 00:40:56,325
I see so many people right now
in our country and, and in the,

584
00:40:56,445 –> 00:40:59,055
not living within their values.

585
00:40:59,385 –> 00:41:01,665
And it’s like you say you value this,

586
00:41:02,035 –> 00:41:05,725
you say you value love, but
are you living within that?

587
00:41:06,115 –> 00:41:08,035
Are you talking within that?

588
00:41:08,035 –> 00:41:13,345
Are you, um, are you treating
people within those values?

589
00:41:13,795 –> 00:41:16,435
And so it’s a really,
really good exercise.

590
00:41:16,435 –> 00:41:21,125
And if you’re not, then you have to go
back and you have to say, Either these

591
00:41:21,125 –> 00:41:26,225
aren’t my values, or, you know, write
down how can I live within my values?

592
00:41:26,225 –> 00:41:30,095
What do I need to change
so that you know my values?

593
00:41:30,095 –> 00:41:34,775
I, I now know who my value, what my
values are, because I’ve done that work

594
00:41:34,775 –> 00:41:41,045
to go find it, to go soul searching, to
understand what my soul was meant to do

595
00:41:41,045 –> 00:41:43,474
on this earth, to be my authentic soul.

596
00:41:44,305 –> 00:41:49,590
And, um, and from time to time, I have
to go back and remind myself of that very

597
00:41:49,590 –> 00:41:53,340
same thing ’cause I get all wrapped up in
stuff and I can get these thoughts in my

598
00:41:53,340 –> 00:41:57,420
head and I have to go back and go, Wait
a minute, you value kindness, you, you

599
00:41:57,420 –> 00:42:02,550
value loving, you value tolerance, let’s
go back and see, see what you’re doing

600
00:42:02,550 –> 00:42:04,560
that’s not in alignment with who you are.

601
00:42:04,860 –> 00:42:06,870
And then it’s easier to
love yourself, right?

602
00:42:09,280 –> 00:42:10,380
Yep, that’s right.

603
00:42:10,680 –> 00:42:17,380
And, and it’s truly a gift when
you start that cycle, review, and

604
00:42:17,780 –> 00:42:21,060
sift, and become, it’s beautiful.

605
00:42:21,295 –> 00:42:23,865
Jacquie, I could speak with you for hours.

606
00:42:23,865 –> 00:42:30,615
I got lost and our time’s already up, uh,
is there anything you want our listeners

607
00:42:30,615 –> 00:42:33,465
to understand before I let you go?

608
00:42:33,465 –> 00:42:37,995
And also could you let them know how to
get your book and how to reach out to you?

609
00:42:39,390 –> 00:42:40,080
Yes.

610
00:42:40,140 –> 00:42:44,129
Um, well, I just, I really,
really, my heart hurts when I

611
00:42:44,129 –> 00:42:46,410
hear people demean themselves.

612
00:42:46,440 –> 00:42:48,330
It just, it’s painful.

613
00:42:48,330 –> 00:42:52,379
It’s, it’s, it’s not pleasant to be
around people who don’t like themselves.

614
00:42:52,379 –> 00:42:56,250
So if you aren’t there
yet, go on that journey.

615
00:42:56,280 –> 00:43:02,400
Go on that, that spiritual journey, you
know, uh, find the tools, um, pick up

616
00:43:02,400 –> 00:43:06,630
my book and, you know, I have exercises
in there that walk you through that.

617
00:43:06,630 –> 00:43:11,400
And my book is again called The
Silent Bully, uh, Journey From

618
00:43:11,460 –> 00:43:14,540
Abusive Brain Chatter to Self-Love.

619
00:43:14,940 –> 00:43:16,740
And I’ll take you right through that.

620
00:43:17,010 –> 00:43:20,465
And the other thing is, if you
wanna reach me, um, I think my

621
00:43:20,465 –> 00:43:32,105
Linktree is, uh, Jacquie Elliott,
which is J-A-C-Q-U-I-E-E-L-L-I-O-T-T

622
00:43:32,495 –> 00:43:34,185
and that’s through Linktree.

623
00:43:34,565 –> 00:43:39,365
And you can find all of my Instagrams,
you can follow me and get tips,

624
00:43:39,365 –> 00:43:42,335
and, you know, and write to me.

625
00:43:42,395 –> 00:43:45,055
Um, my website, healingabc.

626
00:43:45,570 –> 00:43:48,799
Healing, uh, you know,
all one word, healingabc.

627
00:43:49,470 –> 00:43:51,270
And Ed, thank you for having me.

628
00:43:51,270 –> 00:43:53,135
I love what you’re, the
message you’re spreading.

629
00:43:54,225 –> 00:43:59,035
Uh, you know, it, it’s a pleasure
having somebody like you, Jacquie.

630
00:43:59,055 –> 00:44:04,455
It, it really shows that if we come
together, we can accomplish something

631
00:44:04,964 –> 00:44:07,545
even if it’s a little something.

632
00:44:08,205 –> 00:44:12,015
Uh, a little bit here, a
little bit there, adds up.

633
00:44:12,105 –> 00:44:17,625
And the more people that climb on the
bandwagon and say, I’m going to give back.

634
00:44:18,345 –> 00:44:20,265
That’s the key, you said it earlier.

635
00:44:20,505 –> 00:44:22,815
Thank you for being here and
being part of the family.

636
00:44:23,790 –> 00:44:24,420
Thank you.

637
00:44:24,420 –> 00:44:25,350
Thanks again.

638
00:44:25,890 –> 00:44:26,279
Bye.

639
00:44:27,549 –> 00:44:35,279
Used to run for my reflection,
searching for somebody else’s affection.

640
00:44:36,149 –> 00:44:38,400
Thought the mirror was my enemy,

641
00:44:40,500 –> 00:44:42,875
till I learned to set myself free.

642
00:44:44,805 –> 00:44:53,045
Every voice that tried to break me down,
was just my own fear wearing a crown.

643
00:44:53,385 –> 00:45:01,745
Now I’m dancing in the truth I
found, purple lights surround.

644
00:45:02,215 –> 00:45:12,235
Silent bully screams inside,
till self-love becomes the guide.

645
00:45:12,235 –> 00:45:18,550
Jacquie shows the way to peace,
inner critic finds release.

646
00:45:19,200 –> 00:45:29,140
You are enough just as, as you are,
you are the sun, you are the star.

647
00:45:29,140 –> 00:45:31,250
Colors change

648
00:45:33,430 –> 00:45:38,085
when you see clear,

649
00:45:40,500 –> 00:45:43,050
red becomes desire not fear.

650
00:45:44,850 –> 00:45:46,950
All the judgment melts away,

651
00:45:49,020 –> 00:45:51,270
when you choose to love today.

652
00:45:53,380 –> 00:46:01,640
Every voice that tried to break me down,
was just my own fear wearing a crown.

653
00:46:01,930 –> 00:46:10,769
Now I’m dancing in the truth I
found, purple lights surround.

654
00:46:10,769 –> 00:46:18,679
Silent bully screams inside,
till self-love becomes the guide.

655
00:46:18,679 –> 00:46:30,259
Jacquie shows the way to peace,
inner critic finds release.

656
00:46:33,029 –> 00:46:45,939
You are enough just as, as
you are, you are the sun, you

657
00:46:48,339 –> 00:46:51,029
are the star.

658
00:46:52,209 –> 00:46:59,099
I’m the temple and the
prayer, I’m the question

659
00:47:07,039 –> 00:47:11,599
and the answer there.

660
00:47:11,899 –> 00:47:17,339
Sacred body, whole in mind,
leave the poisoned world behind.

661
00:47:17,429 –> 00:47:18,289
Far behind.

662
00:47:18,289 –> 00:47:24,279
Silent bully screams inside,
till self-love becomes the guide.

663
00:47:24,279 –> 00:47:28,169
Jacquie shows the way to peace,
inner critic finds release.

664
00:47:28,889 –> 00:47:29,189
You

665
00:47:33,249 –> 00:47:38,479
are enough just

666
00:47:40,489 –> 00:47:46,179
as, as you are,

667
00:47:50,229 –> 00:47:50,459
you

668
00:47:52,699 –> 00:47:58,599
are the sun, you are the star.

669
00:47:58,599 –> 00:47:59,219
You are enough just as you are.

670
00:47:59,409 –> 00:47:59,829
You are enough.

671
00:47:59,949 –> 00:48:00,159
You are enough.