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Ed Watters: To overcome, you must educate.

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Educate not only yourself, but
educate anyone seeking to learn.

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We are all Dead America,
we can all learn something.

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To learn, we must challenge
what we already understand.

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The way we do that is
through conversation.

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Sometimes we have conversations with
others, however, some of the best

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conversations happen with ourselves.

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Reach out and challenge yourself; let’s
dive in and learn something new right now.

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Today, we are speaking with JoAnn Fawcett.

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She is an author, she has two books out.

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Her first book, Midlife Magic.

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The second book, The Prince Was Wrong.

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JoAnn, could you please
introduce yourself?

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Let people know just a little
more about you, please.

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JoAnn Fawcett: Sure.

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Thank you for having me on your show.

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I am based in Portland, Oregon, I
used to live in Northern California.

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I’ve been a bookkeeper for over
forty years, and I’m happy to say I’m

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going to start cutting back on that
because I’m turning seventy tomorrow.

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So this is, I get to start
slowing down a little bit.

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I’ve been a bookkeeper for a long
time, I have a grown daughter, I have

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three almost grown grandchildren.

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You know, a couple are still teenagers.

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But I’ve got two in college and
stuff so that’s pretty exciting.

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And, um, before COVID hit, I, I
started writing my first book about

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my marriages, many marriages and how
I also got into the realm of UFOs, and

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witchcraft, and paranormal, and fairies.

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And then as I split up from husband
number seven, my, one of my book

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editors from the first book said, You
should write a book about narcissism.

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Cause that’s what I was
experiencing and so I did.

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And so we have, The Prince Was Wrong,
uh, Leaving The Narcissist Behind.

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Because his nickname is The Prince
and I absolutely left him behind.

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So there we go.

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Ed Watters: All right.

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You know, seven husbands,
I want to go there first.

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What intrigued you to
try this seven times?

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I’ve been with my wife for
forty-one years now, and it’s tough.

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But I would never do it a
second time, let alone seven.

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Fill me in on the details,
what is that all about?

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JoAnn Fawcett: Sure.

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And I’m happy to say that I do have a
brother and sister that have both been

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married fifty and fifty-one years.

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So that’s, you know,
it’s nice to see that.

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But, you know, I grew up in the 50s and
60s watching Leave it to Beaver and all

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those fun little shows where the wife
gets to stay at home and you’ve got the

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white picket fence and everybody’s happy.

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My parents did not always have a happy
marriage, there was a lot of dysfunction.

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So, um, I learned a, a lot of bad
patterns there, how to be a codependent.

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And then when I was about twelve,
I joined the Mormon church.

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So I was a Mormon for thirty years and
the goal is, you know, you find Mr.

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Right and you get married and stay married
forever and you have a bunch of kids.

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Well, um, I married five Mormons,
they were all losers, and

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I’ve married two non Mormons.

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My daughter’s father was not a member and
he committed suicide when she was a baby.

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And, um, and then husband number seven
is in prison and I met him in prison.

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And that’s when I left the Merman
church, not, you know, just cause

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I decided it was okay to leave.

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Um, and so my, my goal was always,
you know, my image was, well,

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the way you fulfill yourself
in life is you get married and

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you have this happy family.

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And you know, I want, I wanted
that, I always wanted that.

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I wanted a lot of kids, the universe
said no, one is enough for you.

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Especially cause it, you know, I
don’t know if it, somebody knew I was

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going to have trouble staying married.

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But, um, and then, so I kept, once
I had her, then I figured, well,

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I need to find a father for her.

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You know, the poor
little thing needs a dad.

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Well, I just, I should have stayed single
because I kept finding terrible dads.

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But the other thing is in the Mormon
church, you, you’re not supposed to be

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having sex before marriage and you’re not
supposed to live together before marriage.

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And I learned, you know, in hindsight, I
learned it’s like, we never really talked

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about all the really important things

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so that you can make sure you’re
really compatible and on the

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same page before you get married.

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You know, how are we
gonna handle our money?

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How do we feel about this or that?

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You know, how are we gonna or how much,
how much are we gonna serve the church?

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It’s like, and are we on
the same page with tithing?

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And, and how are we, what
are our parenting styles?

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So all these things that they don’t
really actually tell you at church.

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I just assumed, well, if we’re both
Mormons, then everything’s going to

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be fine and we’re going to be fine.

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And, you know, if, since I met pretty
much most of them at church dances, it’s

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like, well, if we can dance together,
we’re going to be fine getting married.

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And, you know, so planning weddings was
always really fun, and, and all that.

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But, um, I didn’t lay the groundwork.

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And my parents didn’t say you
should be doing this and this

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and this before you get married.

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And they actually only told me, I
think there’s a couple of husbands

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where my mom said, Yeah, you know,
you probably shouldn’t marry him.

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And I’m, I’m gonna anyway,
because the spirit told me to.

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And no offense, you know, it’s
like, again, I was a Christian

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for a really long time.

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And now I just, I listen to my
intuition and not something that I

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think is, you know, a message from God.

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And no offense to anybody
who has, has that connection.

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Um, but it’s just, yeah, it just,
and I have lots of friends, or I had

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many friends, I used to, that are
happy Mormons and happy families.

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And, you know, I have stepkids who
are still Mormon and that’s all great.

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So I know it can work.

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Um, I just picked the wrong spouse
too many times, but I kept trying to

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do it over and, I mean, I kept trying
because I wanted a happy family.

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And, you know, my daughter is like, You
know, I didn’t really need that, mom.

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You know, I have a great uncle,
he was a great role model.

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I didn’t need all those lousy
stepfathers you inflicted on me.

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And thankfully, especially since I’ve
moved up near where she lives, it’s

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like we’ve now been able to heal our
relationship, which has been a Godsend.

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You know, it’s like, it’s, it’s been
great that we can finally sit down

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and talk about whatever angst I put
her through having to deal with,

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because some of those, um, I mean,
some of them were just jerks, but

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some of them were physically abusive.

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One, one, especially.

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One, only a couple little, you know, maybe
one incident, but the other one used to

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hit her frequently when she was a toddler.

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So, you know?

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Ed Watters: Yeah.

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That’s, that’s rough JoAnn.

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You know, I was raised Mormon myself and
my mother she got, yeah, she got divorced

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and got remarried without permission,
got excommunicated from the church.

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Several years, I’m talking twenty,

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yeah, yeah, twenty, twenty-five
years later, they finally

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accepted her back into the church.

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And it’s kind of, yeah, well, it’s
really funny how church will try

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to do that, you know, they, they,
don’t think about the consequences.

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I don’t really believe they do because
it disrupts people in many ways.

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You know, and with the Mormon church,
you have the FLDS, you know, and

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that sect of the Mormons, they, you
know, they live that way, polygamy.

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The, yeah, the, the, steeping in that
culture is deep for me, and I understand

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some of it, and so many people get turned
off of God because of men that produce

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images that are unrealistic for man.

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And that’s really the grace of God,
that I see, is we don’t have to hold

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ourselves to the standards of man.

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And people, they, they
don’t recognize that.

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A relationship with God is personal,
and it’s none of my business

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what you and God does together.

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And, you know, frankly, it’s none
of anybody’s business what me

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and my relationship to God is.

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And people get bent out of
shape over religion and it’s

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just really childish behavior.

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And, you know, if people don’t
stand up and say that, it’s

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just going to continue to grow.

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And I really think that part
of our duty now is to stand up,

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speak out of all atrocities no
matter if it’s small or large.

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We have to educate ourselves
to educate others so we can

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have a more peaceful world.

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What’s your thoughts on that?

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JoAnn Fawcett: I, I love that.

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And it’s interesting because I didn’t
leave the church because I’d had

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any big trauma and even not because
I had five lousy Mormon husbands.

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Um, you know, that’s, that was, yeah,
and it’s funny because one of them

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actually went on to be a bishop.

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It’s like, Huh?

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He became a bishop, how did that happen?

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You know, he wasn’t that
spiritual when I knew him.

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But, um, I, I met husband number seven
and he, he’s in prison and all of a sudden

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it’s like, and he was a very interesting
person until, you know, he wasn’t.

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But, um, but we were
together twenty-five years.

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So it’s like, Oh, I could spend half the
day at church or I could go visit him.

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And all of a sudden I
just didn’t need church.

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So it just, it wasn’t a big traumatic
separation for me, I just stopped going.

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I told the bishop, Sorry, I met
somebody, I’m going to go there.

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And I can’t be that primary music teacher
anymore, you know, it’s like, So see ya.

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And, you know, the, the, you
know, they have home teachers.

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So they have visitor, visiting people that
like to come give you little messages.

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I let them still come, I didn’t care.

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But I wasn’t going to go to church and
I, I’ve never regretted that decision.

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And I, I am on a very spiritual
path and I have my own spiritual

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practices and, but you know, I
still have friends in the church.

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And, and I can see, it’s
like, I don’t, I don’t

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go around talking about it being a cult.

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My daughter, you know, she’s, she’s
very vehement about it being a cult.

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But it’s like, you know, it just
didn’t work for me anymore and I’m

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really happy with the path I’ve chosen.

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And, you know, but I’ve met a lot
of recovering Mormons, I guess, as

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we call ourselves, especially at UFO
conferences so it’s kind of interesting.

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But you know, yeah, yeah, it’s,
yeah, it’s, it’s kind of funny.

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But, um, yeah, so I, I’m glad I left and

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now I’m a practicing witch and
that works really well for me.

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So, oh, oh, I was going to say in, in
real honesty, it is, but that’s also

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why the book is called Midlife Magic.

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But, you know, I, I’ve learned
too, because I do talk about

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UFOs and aliens and all that.

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But for me and what you said about making
this a better world, it’s like, I, I think

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there’s this wonderful, there can be.

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You know, we have the capacity to

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be spiritual and kind and compassionate
and, you know, connect on a better

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level with our fellow humans.

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But also if we could just raise ourselves
up, we could connect with so many

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other entities and species who are also
very kind and friendly and spiritual.

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They just are not human.

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So, or they might be human
looking, they just don’t live here.

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But, you know, but there’s a whole lot of
other entities out there who would like to

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connect with us if we were on their level.

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And we’re not, usually,
yet, but we can be.

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Ed Watters: That’s an interesting
topic, you know, because I myself

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have witnessed and I have experienced
things that physically I can’t

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explain, but they are there.

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And, you know, I’ve had confirmation
that I’m not alone with what I witnessed

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because my brother witnessed it also.

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And, you know, thirty, forty years later,
I start talking about this with him

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and I asked him, Do you remember that?

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And he says, Yeah, I remember that.

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And it’s like that, that just
turned a light bulb on for me.

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And it’s, so what I experienced as a
child, and we’re really susceptible

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to these forces as children, you
know, it wasn’t good what I witnessed.

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You know, and there’s forces out
there that are both bad and good

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because those good forces were right
with me and they showed me the way

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through this darkness and showed
me that you don’t have to fear that

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00:14:43,285 –> 00:14:45,300
dark evil force.

210
00:14:45,339 –> 00:14:50,749
And you know, it’s, it’s truly
about that good and evil here.

211
00:14:50,770 –> 00:14:56,880
And if, if we recognize that you get
to choose if you’re going to be good or

212
00:14:56,880 –> 00:14:59,589
evil, and we all recognize what that is.

213
00:15:00,010 –> 00:15:10,230
So whatever we state we, or claim
we are is really louder through our

214
00:15:10,270 –> 00:15:12,670
actions is what I’m trying to say.

215
00:15:13,535 –> 00:15:15,625
So what’s your thoughts on that?

216
00:15:16,515 –> 00:15:21,165
JoAnn Fawcett: Well, I, I love that
because, um, you know, again, I’m coming

217
00:15:21,165 –> 00:15:25,854
out of a twenty-five year relationship
with a narcissist who on the surface

218
00:15:25,854 –> 00:15:28,835
was charming and he had me fooled.

219
00:15:28,855 –> 00:15:33,465
I mean, we had great conversations and he
taught me many things, especially about

220
00:15:33,474 –> 00:15:35,704
aliens and UFO stuff and the military.

221
00:15:35,704 –> 00:15:40,025
And, but you know, um, he was
always used to getting his own way.

222
00:15:40,025 –> 00:15:44,165
So as long as you don’t rock the
boat, you know, you were fine and

223
00:15:44,165 –> 00:15:46,405
you didn’t get his nasty side.

224
00:15:46,455 –> 00:15:50,564
Until I left and then started standing
up for myself and then this whole

225
00:15:50,564 –> 00:15:52,705
nastiness came out and I’ve got proof.

226
00:15:52,705 –> 00:15:54,794
You know, I’ve got it all written
down because we were writing letters.

227
00:15:55,265 –> 00:15:59,055
But I, I, I know that, you know, he
made it sound like, well, everybody

228
00:15:59,055 –> 00:16:00,875
at prison just thinks I’m wonderful.

229
00:16:00,934 –> 00:16:02,004
It’s like, really?

230
00:16:02,004 –> 00:16:05,315
Okay, now that I’m away from you
and talking to some of those people,

231
00:16:05,315 –> 00:16:07,015
that isn’t exactly what I’m hearing.

232
00:16:08,755 –> 00:16:13,230
And, you know, he thought he was,
you know, the best author, writer

233
00:16:13,270 –> 00:16:18,160
ever and he was always writing and
I just assumed, you know, he was

234
00:16:18,160 –> 00:16:19,780
right because I liked what he wrote.

235
00:16:20,150 –> 00:16:22,769
And then I’m talking to a mutual
friend of ours and he goes, Yeah,

236
00:16:22,769 –> 00:16:23,940
I didn’t think that was so great.

237
00:16:23,940 –> 00:16:25,390
And he loves my stuff.

238
00:16:25,429 –> 00:16:27,495
It’s like, Wow, this is cool.

239
00:16:28,915 –> 00:16:30,714
I’ve sold more books than my ex husband.

240
00:16:33,025 –> 00:16:36,935
Um, but, but you know, it’s interesting
because I was going to, and I don’t know

241
00:16:36,935 –> 00:16:41,725
how this fits in, but I used to speak at
different conferences on the UFO circuit.

242
00:16:41,754 –> 00:16:43,674
And I spoke several times in England.

243
00:16:44,185 –> 00:16:47,735
And what I loved, and this is very
spiritual for me, but so, even though

244
00:16:47,735 –> 00:16:52,815
I’m talking about aliens and military
operations with aliens, every time I

245
00:16:52,825 –> 00:17:00,440
spoke, behind me, I had so many be, you
know, so many, my father in law and, you

246
00:17:00,440 –> 00:17:01,650
know, these are all, nobody could, I mean,

247
00:17:02,430 –> 00:17:04,850
they’re dead or just not even human.

248
00:17:04,850 –> 00:17:08,750
It’s like, so, my father in law is
always behind me on one shoulder,

249
00:17:08,760 –> 00:17:13,000
my left shoulder, and then all
these angelic or fairy beings, you

250
00:17:13,000 –> 00:17:14,180
know, a combination of all that.

251
00:17:14,240 –> 00:17:16,240
I could, I could feel
the heat, the energy.

252
00:17:16,660 –> 00:17:21,030
So just, I had this holding up of, and
I wasn’t afraid to speak, but I had

253
00:17:21,030 –> 00:17:23,980
this holding up and support behind me.

254
00:17:23,980 –> 00:17:26,920
It’s like, you know, you know, you’re
telling, you’re doing the right thing.

255
00:17:26,920 –> 00:17:28,850
You’re, you’re, you’re
giving this, you know.

256
00:17:29,675 –> 00:17:31,045
You’re doing a good thing by speaking.

257
00:17:31,065 –> 00:17:36,175
And then one of my spirit guides who
is not human, she’s over here on my

258
00:17:36,175 –> 00:17:38,905
right shoulder, it’s like, that was
like, and especially when I was giving

259
00:17:38,905 –> 00:17:44,655
a quote from one of her kind, you
know, she’s just like right there.

260
00:17:44,725 –> 00:17:48,335
And it was like, so hot
and, temperature wise.

261
00:17:48,375 –> 00:17:53,500
And, you know, I had some psychics
come up after me and, so one of them

262
00:17:53,500 –> 00:17:56,810
clearly had never believed any talk I
had given when I’d been there before.

263
00:17:56,889 –> 00:17:58,560
And he goes, You know, I usually
don’t believe what you say.

264
00:17:58,560 –> 00:17:59,300
And I go, I know.

265
00:17:59,940 –> 00:18:02,139
And cause I’ve always watched
him, he was always near the

266
00:18:02,139 –> 00:18:03,629
front row rolling his eyes at me.

267
00:18:03,629 –> 00:18:08,909
And it’s like, but he goes, but I,
we could see who was behind you.

268
00:18:08,909 –> 00:18:11,019
And I go, That’s good,
cause I can feel them.

269
00:18:11,369 –> 00:18:13,780
I can’t see them, but I,
but they could see them.

270
00:18:13,780 –> 00:18:14,620
So it was lovely.

271
00:18:14,629 –> 00:18:17,290
And you know, it’s such
a positive feeling.

272
00:18:17,720 –> 00:18:24,685
And, you know, no matter who, who
your connection is, you know, um, the

273
00:18:24,685 –> 00:18:27,375
positive support really holds you up.

274
00:18:27,775 –> 00:18:31,875
And that really is one of the things
that helps me be a better person.

275
00:18:32,185 –> 00:18:36,430
Because like, for me, one of the things
that saved me is, I mean, I used to

276
00:18:36,430 –> 00:18:40,440
walk when I was in California, but now
I live in this beautiful neighborhood

277
00:18:40,440 –> 00:18:44,800
and there’s parks and everything and,
but I’ve made it a, a very spiritual

278
00:18:44,800 –> 00:18:49,460
practice to walk for exercise, but
also walk without looking at my phone.

279
00:18:49,810 –> 00:18:53,520
And I’m talking to the trees and
the birds and the plants and I’m

280
00:18:53,579 –> 00:18:57,360
touching the trees and I’m, you know,
talking to everything and telling

281
00:18:57,360 –> 00:18:58,700
the plants how pretty they are.

282
00:18:58,700 –> 00:19:07,060
And, you know, and I get inspiration
and healing and just, you know, this

283
00:19:07,060 –> 00:19:09,330
spiritual uplift just by walking.

284
00:19:09,340 –> 00:19:12,250
Because I’m, it’s almost
like my meditation,

285
00:19:12,250 –> 00:19:14,830
that’s easier for me to meditate
that way than it is for me

286
00:19:14,830 –> 00:19:16,360
to sit still for very long.

287
00:19:16,770 –> 00:19:21,310
But, you know, it’s just so wonderful
that you can have those ways to support

288
00:19:21,310 –> 00:19:23,029
you and lift you and ground you.

289
00:19:23,030 –> 00:19:26,450
And, you know, that’s one of
the things that’s helped heal me

290
00:19:26,660 –> 00:19:29,100
through this nasty last marriage.

291
00:19:29,100 –> 00:19:32,669
So, besides all the other things
I’ve done, but you know, that’s,

292
00:19:32,690 –> 00:19:34,940
that’s really been so helpful for me.

293
00:19:35,400 –> 00:19:37,909
Because when times get rough,
I can just go take a walk.

294
00:19:40,100 –> 00:19:45,130
Or instead of screaming at
him, you know, yeah, yeah.

295
00:19:45,160 –> 00:19:46,660
And I couldn’t scream at him anyway.

296
00:19:48,220 –> 00:19:48,960
It is.

297
00:19:48,999 –> 00:19:51,770
And that’s, that’s what I’ve learned.

298
00:19:51,780 –> 00:19:56,759
And that’s hopefully the, the
essence of my book is, you know,

299
00:19:56,760 –> 00:20:00,099
you got to learn to stand up for
yourself and heal yourself and become

300
00:20:00,099 –> 00:20:01,839
the best person that you can be.

301
00:20:02,379 –> 00:20:09,129
You know, I don’t wallow in, Oh my God, I
was married seven times and I’m so stupid.

302
00:20:09,129 –> 00:20:10,730
And you know, how dare I do this?

303
00:20:10,820 –> 00:20:14,180
It’s like, that’s, you
know, I, I’ve done that.

304
00:20:15,659 –> 00:20:16,159
Thank you.

305
00:20:16,159 –> 00:20:18,159
I just, I can’t live like that anymore.

306
00:20:18,170 –> 00:20:22,400
It’s like, yes, I’ve had many moments
where I cried and vented to my daughter

307
00:20:22,420 –> 00:20:24,409
and, Listen to this letter he just wrote.

308
00:20:25,309 –> 00:20:29,559
But, you know, but then, and the book,
you know, I tried to keep a very even keel

309
00:20:29,559 –> 00:20:31,279
in the book, I would express my emotions.

310
00:20:31,280 –> 00:20:33,310
Well, this is what he said,
and this is how I felt.

311
00:20:33,760 –> 00:20:38,920
But the end game of that was, it’s like,
I took the time to really work on myself.

312
00:20:38,920 –> 00:20:43,625
So, you know, we’ve been apart,
I moved up here in 2020, so

313
00:20:43,625 –> 00:20:47,105
we’ve been apart, you know, four
years and divorced fully for one.

314
00:20:47,654 –> 00:20:52,164
And I’ve worked that whole time on myself.

315
00:20:52,284 –> 00:20:56,345
You know, I didn’t start trying to date
anybody till the divorce was final.

316
00:20:56,695 –> 00:21:00,955
So I just worked on myself
and, you know, worked on myself

317
00:21:00,955 –> 00:21:02,104
and kept working on myself.

318
00:21:02,104 –> 00:21:06,414
Therapy, and walking, and
journaling, writing’s become a

319
00:21:06,415 –> 00:21:08,514
very magical healing tool for me.

320
00:21:08,544 –> 00:21:09,855
So, yeah.

321
00:21:13,480 –> 00:21:16,100
Ed Watters: Well, you know,
what, what you’ve said here is

322
00:21:16,100 –> 00:21:18,430
very important for us, because

323
00:21:20,780 –> 00:21:25,990
I, I being married for a long
time, I have experienced the

324
00:21:25,990 –> 00:21:29,399
same thing with only one wife.

325
00:21:29,820 –> 00:21:38,460
And the key here is helping yourself
figure out who you are and walking that.

326
00:21:39,090 –> 00:21:46,225
And, and it takes a lifetime to figure
that out sometimes, and sometimes a

327
00:21:46,225 –> 00:21:48,995
person’s just not going to be that,

328
00:21:49,115 –> 00:21:54,255
I have a muddy shoe theory, and
the good mud will stay in the soles

329
00:21:54,255 –> 00:22:00,334
of your crack of your shoes as you
walk down this muddy trail of life.

330
00:22:00,545 –> 00:22:06,415
The heavy mud, you’ve got to find
a rock and scrape that stuff off.

331
00:22:06,445 –> 00:22:12,180
Get it off, and keep going or else
you’re going to wear yourself out

332
00:22:12,200 –> 00:22:14,160
before the end of your journey.

333
00:22:14,470 –> 00:22:18,550
So if it’s good mud in your
cracks, you’re going to carry

334
00:22:18,550 –> 00:22:20,500
that with you and that’s fine.

335
00:22:20,760 –> 00:22:25,719
But if it’s the heavy stuff, people,
places, and things, that’s the mud.

336
00:22:26,105 –> 00:22:29,685
People, places, and things,
wipe it off if it’s heavy.

337
00:22:29,915 –> 00:22:37,245
And heavy means, you know, narcissistic
behaviors, uh, the people that want

338
00:22:37,245 –> 00:22:43,325
to gaslight you, or any of these
psychological terms you want to place

339
00:22:43,335 –> 00:22:46,205
on the behavior that is childish

340
00:22:46,530 –> 00:22:49,590
and inconsiderate of the other person.

341
00:22:49,860 –> 00:22:51,700
That’s really what we’re talking about.

342
00:22:51,710 –> 00:22:54,000
And that is an emotional intelligence.

343
00:22:55,540 –> 00:23:01,699
And once you center yourself around
that and start walking into your

344
00:23:01,699 –> 00:23:07,190
greatness, it doesn’t matter if you’ve
got ten partners or one partner,

345
00:23:07,470 –> 00:23:10,630
you’re going to experience that mud.

346
00:23:11,400 –> 00:23:19,060
And you have the right to scrape it off
or leave it there and wear yourself out.

347
00:23:20,830 –> 00:23:23,640
JoAnn Fawcett: Well, I love, I love that.

348
00:23:23,650 –> 00:23:27,010
Cause I like the walk into greatness
or the walk in the greatness,

349
00:23:27,010 –> 00:23:28,410
but I also like the mud thing.

350
00:23:28,410 –> 00:23:33,679
Because you know, you watch dogs
play in the mud and animals and

351
00:23:33,679 –> 00:23:37,030
when you’re a little kid, you
loved jumping in the mud puddles.

352
00:23:37,665 –> 00:23:40,034
So it can be good mud.

353
00:23:40,044 –> 00:23:45,294
It can be fun and squishy and
fun and find that childhood joy.

354
00:23:45,304 –> 00:23:48,605
And, you know, one of the things I
did, especially because it was COVID

355
00:23:48,625 –> 00:23:51,034
when I moved here and we couldn’t, you
know, we just stayed in our little,

356
00:23:51,044 –> 00:23:53,884
my daughter and her kid, you know, we
were all in this quarantine bubble.

357
00:23:54,004 –> 00:23:56,934
I don’t live with them, but,
you know, we were the only

358
00:23:56,935 –> 00:23:58,825
people who, we didn’t talk to,

359
00:23:58,875 –> 00:24:02,145
we didn’t see anybody else,
but, or we didn’t go anywhere.

360
00:24:02,145 –> 00:24:07,380
But it was interesting because it gave me
the time to make a, start making a list

361
00:24:07,380 –> 00:24:11,450
of, it’s like, Well, what am I really
wanting in a relationship, you know?

362
00:24:11,450 –> 00:24:13,810
And you could backtrack, it’s
like, Well, what didn’t I get?

363
00:24:13,830 –> 00:24:17,500
You know, it’s like, I already knew what
I didn’t get out of the last relationship.

364
00:24:17,990 –> 00:24:21,835
And it’s like, you know, one of
them was clearly like, well, I want

365
00:24:21,885 –> 00:24:24,785
somebody who can, and I’m perfectly
willing to do the same for them.

366
00:24:24,785 –> 00:24:28,905
I want somebody who can tell me why
they like me, you know, why they want

367
00:24:28,905 –> 00:24:30,595
to be with me for all these years.

368
00:24:30,615 –> 00:24:34,374
And my ex is like, Well, I,
you know, guys don’t do that.

369
00:24:34,375 –> 00:24:35,995
I go, Sure they do.

370
00:24:36,314 –> 00:24:39,335
No, no guys just, if they’re
still with you, they like you.

371
00:24:39,335 –> 00:24:41,275
It’s like, well, that’s a lame excuse.

372
00:24:41,595 –> 00:24:43,135
So he wouldn’t tell me.

373
00:24:43,305 –> 00:24:46,225
And it’s like, I was always telling
him things that I liked about

374
00:24:46,225 –> 00:24:47,875
him, but he would never tell me.

375
00:24:47,875 –> 00:24:50,955
And he just thought guys couldn’t
do that or didn’t, didn’t do that.

376
00:24:50,975 –> 00:24:52,905
It’s like, well, they better start.

377
00:24:53,374 –> 00:24:54,985
You know, it’s like, that’s terrible.

378
00:24:55,394 –> 00:24:55,814
And

379
00:24:57,815 –> 00:24:58,655
yeah, that is.

380
00:24:58,695 –> 00:25:03,414
That’s like, but I,I so, you know, I have
this like at least a page, page and a

381
00:25:03,415 –> 00:25:09,925
half, maybe, list of, they’re not all deal
breakers, you know, some could be a little

382
00:25:09,925 –> 00:25:11,584
negotiable, but the things that I want.

383
00:25:11,614 –> 00:25:15,504
And I want to be on, in sync on many,
many of the, most of these things.

384
00:25:15,634 –> 00:25:21,524
And, um, you know, I’ve dated,
well, or, or chatted with several

385
00:25:21,524 –> 00:25:22,824
people on these dating apps.

386
00:25:22,824 –> 00:25:26,495
It’s like, well, okay, that
list is totally unreasonable.

387
00:25:26,525 –> 00:25:29,165
Cause they ask, you know, you ask each
other, Well, what are you looking for?

388
00:25:29,165 –> 00:25:30,705
And it’s like, Well, here’s my list.

389
00:25:31,024 –> 00:25:34,025
And even if I didn’t share the whole
list, like, Oh, that’s unreasonable.

390
00:25:34,045 –> 00:25:37,295
It’s like, well, okay, then we’re
not a good fit if you think right off

391
00:25:37,295 –> 00:25:39,365
the bat that none of that could work.

392
00:25:39,775 –> 00:25:42,625
And you know, it’s like, well, that
could be reasonable, but then, you

393
00:25:42,625 –> 00:25:45,890
know, we, other people, it’s like, well,
that sounds reasonable, but you know,

394
00:25:45,900 –> 00:25:47,300
then you find you’re not a good fit.

395
00:25:47,300 –> 00:25:52,190
But, um, but you should be able to
at least be willing to share that.

396
00:25:52,230 –> 00:25:56,540
And so, and also it’s like, I
keep teasing everybody, I’m a Leo.

397
00:25:56,610 –> 00:25:59,620
I’m a very strong Leo and I’m
really letting that strong

398
00:25:59,620 –> 00:26:00,929
Leo come out these days.

399
00:26:00,949 –> 00:26:04,320
Not that I want to trample over
anybody, but I mean, obviously

400
00:26:04,320 –> 00:26:05,810
I like to speak and chat.

401
00:26:05,820 –> 00:26:08,380
So this is really helpful,
I love, I love this.

402
00:26:08,800 –> 00:26:11,875
And, um, but I’ve let
the Leo out of the cage.

403
00:26:11,875 –> 00:26:15,455
So now I am standing up for myself
and I’m being very transparent.

404
00:26:15,455 –> 00:26:17,145
I go, Here’s who I am.

405
00:26:17,544 –> 00:26:19,784
You know, I’m not a
Christian, I am a witch.

406
00:26:19,834 –> 00:26:21,594
I like this, this, this, this, and this.

407
00:26:21,604 –> 00:26:25,990
And where do we, you know, where
do we drive on those points.

408
00:26:26,010 –> 00:26:29,330
And you know, it’s like, I really
don’t want to go camping in a tent

409
00:26:29,360 –> 00:26:31,060
anymore, especially at my age.

410
00:26:31,060 –> 00:26:35,269
And, you know, if you, if
that’s all you want to do, it’s

411
00:26:35,270 –> 00:26:36,559
like, that’s not going to work.

412
00:26:36,560 –> 00:26:38,159
So, but I’m just very transparent.

413
00:26:38,159 –> 00:26:40,379
I don’t, you know, I love the outdoors.

414
00:26:40,419 –> 00:26:48,370
I just don’t want to be in a tent and,
you know, the, a RV is fine, a hotel

415
00:26:48,389 –> 00:26:50,360
by the lake sounds really good to me.

416
00:26:50,730 –> 00:26:53,260
But, and if you’re a
fisherman, that’s great.

417
00:26:53,290 –> 00:26:57,909
But I’ll sit on the bank and watch
you fish and read my book or knit

418
00:26:57,909 –> 00:27:02,080
and say, and cheer you on, but you
know, that’s, that’s not going to be,

419
00:27:03,675 –> 00:27:06,955
I’m not necessarily going to want to
date that person first because they’ve

420
00:27:06,955 –> 00:27:10,245
got this giant fish they’ve gotten
and they show it on their dating app.

421
00:27:10,245 –> 00:27:14,054
But I, I’ve learned that it’s important
for me to be very transparent.

422
00:27:14,424 –> 00:27:17,435
So, you know, it was difficult
to stand up for myself with my

423
00:27:17,464 –> 00:27:22,704
ex and I’m finding that people
appreciate it and then you, you find

424
00:27:22,860 –> 00:27:24,710
that you’re not a good fit a lot sooner.

425
00:27:24,730 –> 00:27:27,970
But, cause he would look, I would
even tell him, like the last time we

426
00:27:27,970 –> 00:27:31,469
saw each other in person, like, You
know, I’m a really amazing person.

427
00:27:31,490 –> 00:27:33,740
And he would roll his
eyes, his eyes glazed over.

428
00:27:33,740 –> 00:27:38,160
It’s like, after twenty-five years,
how could you not even agree with me?

429
00:27:39,379 –> 00:27:40,949
Of course we had been fighting by then.

430
00:27:40,960 –> 00:27:44,570
But it’s like, you know, it’s
like, you need to tell your

431
00:27:44,580 –> 00:27:46,470
partner that they’re amazing.

432
00:27:46,985 –> 00:27:49,665
And maybe not every day, because
maybe not every day they’re,

433
00:27:49,725 –> 00:27:51,905
you, feel amazing to you.

434
00:27:51,905 –> 00:27:56,795
But it’s like, you know, I want somebody
who I can look at them and just shine

435
00:27:56,815 –> 00:28:02,064
and see that, oh, I am so glad I’m with
you today, even with all our bad hair.

436
00:28:02,065 –> 00:28:04,785
But it’s like, I just, I want that.

437
00:28:05,120 –> 00:28:08,910
And I think I can have it and I think we
all can have it and we can deserve it,

438
00:28:08,910 –> 00:28:10,180
but you know, we have to do the work.

439
00:28:10,690 –> 00:28:15,180
So, and you have to communicate
a lot before you plunge in.

440
00:28:17,190 –> 00:28:19,529
Ed Watters: Yeah, that, that is all true.

441
00:28:20,029 –> 00:28:22,319
No, no, that, that is all true.

442
00:28:22,620 –> 00:28:30,790
And, you know, the, the bottom
line is your, your spouse, your

443
00:28:30,820 –> 00:28:34,229
partner, you should cherish them.

444
00:28:35,010 –> 00:28:39,989
Time here is short and by time
you want to squabble it away,

445
00:28:40,650 –> 00:28:42,699
you could have enjoyed so much.

446
00:28:43,330 –> 00:28:50,660
So your transparency and being upfront
about it, that is the secret to a

447
00:28:50,660 –> 00:28:53,120
happy marriage, a happy relationship.

448
00:28:53,410 –> 00:28:59,270
Get it out and say it right up front and
don’t feel bad about saying it because

449
00:28:59,600 –> 00:29:01,889
that’s your need, that’s your want.

450
00:29:01,930 –> 00:29:07,309
And as a partnership, you
need to weave that into your

451
00:29:07,320 –> 00:29:09,809
synergy and it’s very important.

452
00:29:10,549 –> 00:29:19,099
So, you know, it’s very interesting, my
number one top episode of the year is

453
00:29:19,445 –> 00:29:23,415
covering dating over the age of forty.

454
00:29:24,505 –> 00:29:31,774
And this is a, it’s incredible,
but there’s a struggle out there.

455
00:29:31,814 –> 00:29:39,764
And, you know, people are just finally
figuring out, be transparent, be

456
00:29:39,774 –> 00:29:46,095
open and know who and what you want,
and that is the key to everything.

457
00:29:46,435 –> 00:29:53,344
Don’t be shy because they might
not like you if you say this.

458
00:29:53,564 –> 00:29:54,735
I don’t care.

459
00:29:55,280 –> 00:30:02,510
You know, I, I, if you don’t like
me because I say this, well, are

460
00:30:02,510 –> 00:30:09,390
you that petty that you can’t come
back with a rational conversation

461
00:30:09,440 –> 00:30:13,139
to sort out why I feel this way?

462
00:30:13,839 –> 00:30:17,960
Because I’ll change my mind as
long as we can have a rational

463
00:30:17,990 –> 00:30:25,760
conversation and you know what your
pinpoints or your concerns are.

464
00:30:26,380 –> 00:30:32,489
Because that, that is conversation
and that is the key to a healthy

465
00:30:32,489 –> 00:30:35,360
relationship, good conversation.

466
00:30:35,950 –> 00:30:36,539
JoAnn Fawcett: You’re right.

467
00:30:36,579 –> 00:30:42,285
And it’s like, to me, and I say it right
there on my dating app and or profile,

468
00:30:42,285 –> 00:30:45,755
it’s like honesty is like crucial to me.

469
00:30:46,335 –> 00:30:50,715
And because I spent twenty-five years
with somebody who lied the whole time

470
00:30:50,855 –> 00:30:53,185
about many, many, many, many things.

471
00:30:53,745 –> 00:31:01,225
And, and then I had, this guy said hello
and he seemed, you know, we, oh, we

472
00:31:01,225 –> 00:31:02,725
have a nice connection, this is good.

473
00:31:02,725 –> 00:31:04,695
So we set up a date, we had a lovely date.

474
00:31:04,695 –> 00:31:09,144
You know, we had a meal then we went
for a hike because we both like to walk.

475
00:31:09,715 –> 00:31:13,085
And then, you know, a couple,
so that’s, this is a great date.

476
00:31:13,124 –> 00:31:14,985
And well, do you want to
see each other next weekend?

477
00:31:14,985 –> 00:31:15,615
Sure.

478
00:31:16,095 –> 00:31:19,145
And then, you know, I text him a
little bit during the day, say,

479
00:31:19,145 –> 00:31:20,375
Hope you’re having a nice day.

480
00:31:20,415 –> 00:31:23,395
And then, um, well,
something’s bothering me.

481
00:31:23,395 –> 00:31:26,194
I go, and, and, okay,
I’m going to be seventy.

482
00:31:26,275 –> 00:31:28,385
He said on his profile
that he was fifty-one.

483
00:31:28,405 –> 00:31:31,225
Now I don’t care if
you’re younger than me.

484
00:31:31,795 –> 00:31:35,324
And, but then a couple of days
later, it’s like, Well, you

485
00:31:35,324 –> 00:31:36,935
know, I’m really only forty-four.

486
00:31:37,375 –> 00:31:37,955
Okay.

487
00:31:37,985 –> 00:31:41,105
So now you’re younger than
my daughter and you lied.

488
00:31:41,595 –> 00:31:44,065
And that just like, you know?

489
00:31:44,065 –> 00:31:47,705
Probably if, if you had told me
you were forty-four, but see, it

490
00:31:47,715 –> 00:31:49,365
was an over fifty dating site.

491
00:31:49,365 –> 00:31:51,615
It’s like, and I’ve seen
other people do that.

492
00:31:52,475 –> 00:31:55,214
I have on my profile, I’m fifty-one,
but I’m really only forty-four.

493
00:31:55,235 –> 00:31:58,025
And it’s like, as long as you didn’t lie
to me, I would probably say, Thank you,

494
00:31:58,025 –> 00:31:58,565
but no, thank you.

495
00:31:58,915 –> 00:32:00,765
I really don’t want to date
anybody younger than my daughter.

496
00:32:01,285 –> 00:32:04,405
You know, that’s, that’s just
probably kind of my line, you know?

497
00:32:04,825 –> 00:32:08,170
And I don’t want her, not that I was
looking for a stepdad, but I don’t want

498
00:32:08,170 –> 00:32:10,410
her stepdad to be younger than her.

499
00:32:10,410 –> 00:32:12,730
You know, that’s just, you
know, not gonna work for me.

500
00:32:13,120 –> 00:32:15,180
And so it’s like, You know,
you just ruined it right there.

501
00:32:15,200 –> 00:32:16,670
Well, I was really attracted to you.

502
00:32:16,680 –> 00:32:18,969
It’s like, but you lied
right out the gate.

503
00:32:18,970 –> 00:32:20,900
So it’s like, you know, bye.

504
00:32:22,220 –> 00:32:24,209
There obviously will not be a second date.

505
00:32:24,209 –> 00:32:25,880
That is so important to me.

506
00:32:25,880 –> 00:32:30,720
And it’s like, if you, if you don’t
look like your picture and you’ve

507
00:32:30,720 –> 00:32:33,900
been faking me and, you know, you, you
probably, I don’t know who was your

508
00:32:33,900 –> 00:32:37,890
guest on that episode, but you know,
there’s so many fakers and scammers.

509
00:32:37,890 –> 00:32:43,399
And it’s like, If you look like this,
you know, upstanding white businessman,

510
00:32:43,629 –> 00:32:47,089
when we have a conversation, don’t
sound like that’s not who you are.

511
00:32:47,819 –> 00:32:51,600
Cause I can tell in the voice
that that’s not who you are.

512
00:32:52,720 –> 00:32:56,960
You know, I’m not a racist or anything,
but I can tell that’s not who you are.

513
00:32:57,600 –> 00:32:58,989
And that’s happened twice.

514
00:32:59,110 –> 00:33:04,060
And it’s like, there’s so many
weird things and Oh, let’s

515
00:33:04,060 –> 00:33:05,190
go over to this other app.

516
00:33:05,190 –> 00:33:06,220
I go, Yeah, no.

517
00:33:07,740 –> 00:33:10,410
Uh, you know, it’s just,
it’s, it’s a minefield.

518
00:33:10,740 –> 00:33:11,590
It’s a minefield.

519
00:33:12,200 –> 00:33:14,020
So you have to be very careful.

520
00:33:15,219 –> 00:33:21,515
Ed Watters: You know, it’s, it’s very
interesting because what she said was

521
00:33:22,845 –> 00:33:29,725
if you did not meet within like the
first week, there’s a game being played.

522
00:33:30,875 –> 00:33:38,225
And you know that, that’s very interesting
to me because I’m old school, you know, I,

523
00:33:38,265 –> 00:33:42,735
I want to know who I’m face to face with.

524
00:33:42,735 –> 00:33:50,530
I want to meet you, uh, you know, I don’t
want to have tea on, uh, video chat.

525
00:33:50,560 –> 00:33:52,890
I want to actually know who you are.

526
00:33:53,130 –> 00:33:55,850
Let’s get together and let’s have coffee.

527
00:33:56,520 –> 00:34:00,540
Nothing, you know, just
let’s see who each other are.

528
00:34:00,780 –> 00:34:04,689
That way, you know, because a lot of
the times we see this much of each

529
00:34:04,689 –> 00:34:14,365
other and a lot of the attraction
is that appealing physique, or

530
00:34:14,525 –> 00:34:17,915
whatever might attract the individual.

531
00:34:17,935 –> 00:34:27,594
And if they can’t fully engulf,
that actually tends to put a damper

532
00:34:27,594 –> 00:34:33,115
on things for individuals, even
psychologically, because, you know,

533
00:34:33,125 –> 00:34:36,205
we’re so used to being face to face.

534
00:34:36,215 –> 00:34:42,625
And with the advent of the computer
and the internet now, so often we’re

535
00:34:42,625 –> 00:34:48,674
like this instead of having that
physical interaction to meet and greet.

536
00:34:49,395 –> 00:34:52,960
JoAnn Fawcett: Yeah, I’ve had several
coffee dates that didn’t go anywhere.

537
00:34:53,020 –> 00:34:57,240
And I dated one guy for a month and
realized, okay, that’s not going to work.

538
00:34:57,780 –> 00:35:01,310
And, you know, I dated another guy
a couple of times and, you know, we

539
00:35:01,310 –> 00:35:04,460
kind of, it was mutual, we figured,
you know, it wasn’t going to work.

540
00:35:05,020 –> 00:35:10,870
And, um, but then I was like, in the
same week, I was just texting or dating

541
00:35:10,870 –> 00:35:12,540
app chatting with a couple of guys.

542
00:35:12,540 –> 00:35:14,450
It’s like, Well, do you
want to get on a phone call?

543
00:35:14,700 –> 00:35:17,449
You know, we’ve chatted for
several days now by message, do

544
00:35:17,449 –> 00:35:18,400
you want to have a phone call?

545
00:35:18,760 –> 00:35:20,619
Nobody would say sure.

546
00:35:21,000 –> 00:35:23,800
And it’s like, and then
one’s going, Well, hi hon.

547
00:35:23,800 –> 00:35:24,500
Or hi babe.

548
00:35:24,500 –> 00:35:26,100
It’s like, yeah, yeah, Honey bear.

549
00:35:26,120 –> 00:35:28,959
It’s like you don’t get to
call me that until I’ve met

550
00:35:28,959 –> 00:35:30,300
you and we’re actually dating.

551
00:35:30,620 –> 00:35:32,940
And it’s like, and the other
guy did the same thing.

552
00:35:32,940 –> 00:35:36,925
It’s like, Don’t call me that kind
of stuff unless we’ve actually

553
00:35:36,935 –> 00:35:39,945
met and we have gone on a date
or two and we like each other.

554
00:35:39,965 –> 00:35:42,335
It’s like, You, you know, you
don’t, you don’t get to call me

555
00:35:42,335 –> 00:35:45,135
honey and babe and, um, yeah, no.

556
00:35:45,175 –> 00:35:52,255
And, and the other, yeah, yeah, yeah,
it’s like, and the one guy again, I caught

557
00:35:52,285 –> 00:35:54,275
him kind of in a lie or a weirdness.

558
00:35:54,295 –> 00:35:57,084
It’s like Well, I’ve got to
go on this business trip.

559
00:35:57,084 –> 00:35:59,735
I go, Do you want to get together
for a date before you go?

560
00:35:59,765 –> 00:36:01,114
No, let’s just wait till I get back.

561
00:36:01,115 –> 00:36:01,694
It’s like, Okay.

562
00:36:01,695 –> 00:36:05,244
And I’ve got to take my kids to
stay with my grandma, or their

563
00:36:05,245 –> 00:36:07,580
mom, their grandma in Idaho.

564
00:36:07,690 –> 00:36:08,850
It’s like,Okay.

565
00:36:09,230 –> 00:36:12,220
And he made it sound like, and I’m
going to stay there and then go

566
00:36:12,220 –> 00:36:13,700
to Seattle for my business trip.

567
00:36:13,980 –> 00:36:16,950
But then it’s like that day came and
it’s Well, I’m settled in my hotel.

568
00:36:16,950 –> 00:36:19,499
I go, I thought you were
spending the weekend in Idaho.

569
00:36:19,749 –> 00:36:20,219
Why?

570
00:36:20,230 –> 00:36:21,080
How’d you get that?

571
00:36:21,080 –> 00:36:23,310
I go, Cause this is what
you told me on Wednesday.

572
00:36:23,310 –> 00:36:25,110
Do you, should I look back at the message?

573
00:36:27,140 –> 00:36:29,960
I keep all the dating app
messages until I delete you.

574
00:36:29,960 –> 00:36:30,530
You know, it’s like,

575
00:36:31,190 –> 00:36:34,075
and I go, And besides, you know,
it’s like, this isn’t going to work.

576
00:36:34,075 –> 00:36:36,265
You’ve got little kids,
I’m almost seventy.

577
00:36:36,315 –> 00:36:39,045
I don’t want to raise somebody’s
little kids, you know?

578
00:36:39,045 –> 00:36:41,234
And it’s like, Well,
we’re not dating the kids.

579
00:36:41,234 –> 00:36:43,704
I go, Yeah, but I don’t
want to raise them either.

580
00:36:43,734 –> 00:36:45,895
So it was like, Forget it.

581
00:36:45,904 –> 00:36:49,035
We’re not going to make it to
our first date, just forget it.

582
00:36:49,055 –> 00:36:52,545
And, but it’s like, Don’t,
don’t tell me stupid stories.

583
00:36:52,545 –> 00:36:54,365
It’s like, I’m too old for that stuff.

584
00:36:55,675 –> 00:36:58,704
And even if it, twenty years ago, I
would have been too old for that stuff.

585
00:36:58,715 –> 00:36:59,835
So, you know?

586
00:37:02,545 –> 00:37:07,585
Ed Watters: You know, that, that
is all valuable information.

587
00:37:07,585 –> 00:37:09,795
I want to segue into your books.

588
00:37:10,205 –> 00:37:13,294
Uh, the first book, Midlife Magic.

589
00:37:13,875 –> 00:37:16,464
Tell us about it and why did you write it?

590
00:37:17,525 –> 00:37:21,825
JoAnn Fawcett: I wrote, the first
half of it is about, the first

591
00:37:21,825 –> 00:37:25,005
six, well, there’s a chapter on
my childhood to lay some context.

592
00:37:25,415 –> 00:37:29,920
And then it was like kind of why I
believed in getting married, in general.

593
00:37:29,920 –> 00:37:31,510
And I’ve said that already on here.

594
00:37:31,510 –> 00:37:35,640
But, and then it goes, each, each
husband gets a chapter and I was

595
00:37:35,640 –> 00:37:38,290
married to husband seven at the
time and we were getting along.

596
00:37:38,580 –> 00:37:41,830
So he got a couple of chapters like,
you know, how we met, you know, what

597
00:37:41,830 –> 00:37:46,209
it was like to be married to somebody
in prison, and, and how he really

598
00:37:46,210 –> 00:37:49,740
introduced me to all these cool
things that I totally embrace now.

599
00:37:50,160 –> 00:37:53,240
So it was about, you know, the
marriages and what I learned

600
00:37:53,250 –> 00:37:55,270
and why they went haywire.

601
00:37:55,710 –> 00:37:57,320
And what I learned from each of those.

602
00:37:58,170 –> 00:38:02,610
And then meeting him, because I thought,
Okay, he’s, and I had him on a pedestal,

603
00:38:02,610 –> 00:38:05,380
I’ll tell you, and I just thought,
Okay, this is going to last forever.

604
00:38:05,380 –> 00:38:08,710
Until all of a sudden I’m realizing
he’s never going to get out, I’m

605
00:38:08,710 –> 00:38:12,400
going to be working till I drop
dead at the computer supporting him.

606
00:38:12,410 –> 00:38:14,829
So it’s like, you know, this is terrible.

607
00:38:15,350 –> 00:38:21,295
But, um, and, but I do, but I, so I
changed my life in my forties, because

608
00:38:21,305 –> 00:38:23,305
that’s when we met, my early forties.

609
00:38:23,715 –> 00:38:26,375
And, you know, I left the
church and I started learning

610
00:38:26,375 –> 00:38:27,894
about all these other things.

611
00:38:27,894 –> 00:38:31,345
It’s like, Oh, this magic
stuff, this is really cool.

612
00:38:31,375 –> 00:38:33,675
And fairies are really cool.

613
00:38:34,085 –> 00:38:40,285
And I’d, I’d had paranormal experiences
before I ever met him because I,

614
00:38:40,335 –> 00:38:44,225
I used to be married to a funeral
director and so I could sense the

615
00:38:44,225 –> 00:38:48,335
spirits there when I would go to the
funerals he was, um, in charge of.

616
00:38:48,925 –> 00:38:54,385
And, um, and I’ve had many paranormal
experiences with and without psychics.

617
00:38:54,385 –> 00:38:59,525
But, um, and now I work for the channeling
medium every couple weeks and I talk

618
00:38:59,525 –> 00:39:01,215
to dead people and it’s fabulous.

619
00:39:01,325 –> 00:39:04,245
And, you know, they’re, they’re going
to help me, they’re, they’re, they’re

620
00:39:04,245 –> 00:39:05,955
giving me information for my next book.

621
00:39:06,465 –> 00:39:10,835
But, um, so it’s like how I changed my
life and embraced all these cool things.

622
00:39:11,214 –> 00:39:15,510
And how, you know, it’s like I ended
basically with, I don’t know where

623
00:39:15,510 –> 00:39:19,030
my life’s going to go from here,
but I know it’s on this cool path.

624
00:39:19,360 –> 00:39:22,710
And I also talk about my intuition
and how I protect myself.

625
00:39:23,110 –> 00:39:26,949
And my connection with animals
and just having these really

626
00:39:26,950 –> 00:39:30,780
strong energetic connection with
animals and nature in general.

627
00:39:30,780 –> 00:39:36,219
But I mean, I used to have deer
come on our property all the time.

628
00:39:36,229 –> 00:39:38,709
Because I mean, it’s kind of,
it’s on a hillside, so a lot of

629
00:39:38,709 –> 00:39:41,050
open space, but the deer would
always come and have their babies.

630
00:39:41,080 –> 00:39:42,310
And I’ll share this story.

631
00:39:42,310 –> 00:39:47,490
It’s like, um, and I think I still
lived there, but one, this one

632
00:39:47,490 –> 00:39:51,670
morning I had to go to the store
early because I’d run out of cat food.

633
00:39:51,670 –> 00:39:55,540
Shame on me, I’m a cat mama and I ran out
of cat food and the cats were screaming.

634
00:39:55,540 –> 00:40:00,159
And so I walked down the driveway
and usually there’s one or two

635
00:40:00,169 –> 00:40:01,370
mama deer with their babies.

636
00:40:01,370 –> 00:40:04,149
Well, there were like five at least.

637
00:40:04,489 –> 00:40:08,320
And they, you know, ran down, ran out
from behind the back of the house and ran

638
00:40:08,320 –> 00:40:10,150
down the hill and over to the next hill.

639
00:40:10,640 –> 00:40:12,289
And it’s like, Well, this is really cool.

640
00:40:12,650 –> 00:40:15,589
And then all of a sudden, all
these bucks, it’s like, Oh my

641
00:40:15,589 –> 00:40:17,299
gosh, I have a whole herd here.

642
00:40:17,809 –> 00:40:21,070
And five of them just stood on
my hill grazing a little bit.

643
00:40:21,089 –> 00:40:24,745
And one of the really young ones that,
you know, the grandpa stood at the

644
00:40:24,745 –> 00:40:28,585
top of the hill and this young one
came right down almost to the top of

645
00:40:28,585 –> 00:40:30,205
the, where the retaining wall was.

646
00:40:30,265 –> 00:40:33,325
And we just had this connection
like, I’m talking to you.

647
00:40:33,325 –> 00:40:34,465
Yes, blah, blah, blah, blah.

648
00:40:34,915 –> 00:40:39,965
And it was like, he was so, we were
having this conversation, it was fabulous.

649
00:40:40,355 –> 00:40:45,145
And another time, and it might’ve been,
I’d already left the house, but I, you

650
00:40:45,145 –> 00:40:48,055
know, went to the house cause I had to
keep working on it and purging stuff.

651
00:40:48,055 –> 00:40:54,180
But, um, this mama dear, you know, we were
just within feet of each other and she

652
00:40:54,180 –> 00:40:59,880
was like up on the level where the garden
was and this vortex just and it’s like we

653
00:40:59,880 –> 00:41:03,620
had this soul connection, this deer and I.

654
00:41:03,770 –> 00:41:06,090
It was like, just so amazing.

655
00:41:06,730 –> 00:41:08,840
So that’s, that’s my life.

656
00:41:09,170 –> 00:41:12,200
And then, you know, again, I
was married to number seven.

657
00:41:12,230 –> 00:41:15,260
Well, we were married a little over twenty
years, but we courted for five years.

658
00:41:15,260 –> 00:41:16,840
So we were together twenty-five years.

659
00:41:16,840 –> 00:41:23,465
So the second book is, you know,
once I moved here, um, and started,

660
00:41:23,815 –> 00:41:25,515
and talked to my other book editor.

661
00:41:25,515 –> 00:41:27,065
It’s like, cause her
husband was a narcissist,

662
00:41:27,065 –> 00:41:28,815
she goes, You should
write a book about that.

663
00:41:28,825 –> 00:41:32,135
And I’m going, Yeah, no,
that’s a sticky, icky topic.

664
00:41:32,745 –> 00:41:36,735
But I decided, no, I really need to,
because it’s, it’s an important topic.

665
00:41:36,735 –> 00:41:41,385
And once I got into therapy and
realized that Oh, a lot of people

666
00:41:41,385 –> 00:41:44,195
are experiencing the same thing I am.

667
00:41:44,195 –> 00:41:47,205
And I didn’t really know that
until I started promoting the book.

668
00:41:47,605 –> 00:41:49,695
It’s like, there are so many
people who are dealing with

669
00:41:49,925 –> 00:41:51,355
narcissists in their lives.

670
00:41:51,815 –> 00:41:55,174
So by the time I left,
again, he’s in prison.

671
00:41:55,375 –> 00:41:59,080
And since I, you know, live Oregon
to California, it was a 1, 000

672
00:41:59,080 –> 00:42:01,720
dollars every time I wanted to
go back down there and visit him.

673
00:42:02,360 –> 00:42:05,790
And because we didn’t say divorce
until I’d already been gone

674
00:42:05,790 –> 00:42:07,290
for like a couple years or so.

675
00:42:07,570 –> 00:42:11,479
We were trying, you know, we’d go
up and down trying to make it work.

676
00:42:11,480 –> 00:42:15,480
So I have three years of letters
of trying to go up and down and

677
00:42:15,480 –> 00:42:17,150
then he would just tirade me.

678
00:42:18,080 –> 00:42:21,990
And it’s like, eew, and that was,
you know, he might’ve been, might

679
00:42:21,990 –> 00:42:23,300
as well have been screaming at me.

680
00:42:23,680 –> 00:42:26,240
So I have three years worth of nasty

681
00:42:26,610 –> 00:42:31,590
excerpts from letters just showing example
after example of what a narcissist says.

682
00:42:31,620 –> 00:42:34,080
This just vile crap
comes out of their mouth.

683
00:42:34,520 –> 00:42:38,370
And, and the, the, their logic
is just like, Well, you started

684
00:42:38,549 –> 00:42:40,040
your business in my house.

685
00:42:40,080 –> 00:42:43,250
Because the house in California
belonged to him, he inherited it.

686
00:42:43,880 –> 00:42:48,530
It wasn’t community property because he
inherited it before I got married to him.

687
00:42:48,810 –> 00:42:51,710
But it’s like, You started your
business in my house and then

688
00:42:51,710 –> 00:42:53,300
turned your back on my needs.

689
00:42:53,300 –> 00:42:57,760
It’s like, Well, that business paid
for all our bills and paid for all the

690
00:42:57,760 –> 00:42:59,510
repairs on your house for twenty years.

691
00:42:59,510 –> 00:43:03,990
So, you know, it’s like, What,
what’s, what’s your problem?

692
00:43:04,390 –> 00:43:07,540
You know, it’s like, And how dare you
want to get paid back for any of that?

693
00:43:07,540 –> 00:43:11,429
I go, Well, yeah, cause I can’t retire
unless you pay me back some of that money.

694
00:43:11,750 –> 00:43:15,240
You know, You, you, you expected
me to just sit around hoping you’d

695
00:43:15,240 –> 00:43:18,770
get out of prison and you, you
know, you, you lied to me about

696
00:43:18,770 –> 00:43:20,930
having money stashed away somewhere.

697
00:43:21,420 –> 00:43:23,304
And it’s like, I never saw it.

698
00:43:23,675 –> 00:43:28,925
I saw one, one payment of 500 dollars to
help me pay for a hole in the roof where

699
00:43:28,925 –> 00:43:33,395
the raccoons, they just keep tearing
up the, the, the shingles on the roof.

700
00:43:33,444 –> 00:43:35,875
It’s like, and there was
another one a few weeks ago.

701
00:43:35,885 –> 00:43:37,664
It’s like, Oh, look,
the raccoons are back.

702
00:43:37,665 –> 00:43:40,454
But, um, so just all this weird logic.

703
00:43:40,495 –> 00:43:42,995
And again, like the thing about,
Well, I, men don’t, I don’t

704
00:43:42,995 –> 00:43:44,255
have to tell you how I feel.

705
00:43:44,265 –> 00:43:46,415
It’s like, Well, sure you do
cause that’s important to me.

706
00:43:46,415 –> 00:43:48,955
And I, you know, I tell you how I
feel, whether you like it or not.

707
00:43:48,955 –> 00:43:51,145
But, um, just weird stuff.

708
00:43:51,215 –> 00:43:55,250
And, and it, you know, that I go
through, how I was in therapy and then

709
00:43:55,280 –> 00:44:00,690
the major issues that we went through
just as a couple anyway, and how, how

710
00:44:00,730 –> 00:44:02,579
easy it was to get a divorce in Oregon.

711
00:44:02,580 –> 00:44:06,480
Thank you very much, a lot
easier than California.

712
00:44:06,960 –> 00:44:11,100
And, um, it doesn’t take as long as
long as everybody’s in agreement.

713
00:44:11,679 –> 00:44:15,530
And then also, you know, again, we’ve
been untangling still for three years.

714
00:44:15,600 –> 00:44:18,965
And the money piece is hopefully
finally going to get resolved,

715
00:44:18,965 –> 00:44:20,425
but it’s taking forever.

716
00:44:20,845 –> 00:44:23,905
And, you know, the book is already out
and I put a little caveat in there.

717
00:44:23,905 –> 00:44:27,554
Okay, I think we’re on the road to getting
that resolved, but, you know, stay tuned.

718
00:44:28,025 –> 00:44:32,795
But so, and it also has a chapter on,
you know, how I have, I am thriving

719
00:44:32,845 –> 00:44:37,285
and, and what I do for my self care and
just all these steps, you know, that

720
00:44:37,315 –> 00:44:39,545
I’ve done to help heal myself and work.

721
00:44:39,805 –> 00:44:42,804
And, you know, so, kind of suggestions
on, well, here’s, you know, you

722
00:44:42,805 –> 00:44:44,074
could try these kinds of things.

723
00:44:44,255 –> 00:44:47,534
And also it’s like, you know, if
your spouse is hitting you, get the

724
00:44:47,534 –> 00:44:49,204
heck out of there and call the cops.

725
00:44:49,204 –> 00:44:50,825
You know, just, I have some tips in there.

726
00:44:51,065 –> 00:44:55,235
But set the boundaries, like you
said, and stand up for yourself

727
00:44:55,235 –> 00:44:56,655
and speak up for yourself.

728
00:44:56,715 –> 00:45:00,455
And they may not like it, but
it’s important for yourself.

729
00:45:01,080 –> 00:45:04,030
And, you know, there’s just things
you need to do, whether it’s a

730
00:45:04,030 –> 00:45:06,310
narcissistic relationship or just toxic.

731
00:45:06,350 –> 00:45:10,379
Because you need to be able to
support yourself or find the

732
00:45:10,380 –> 00:45:13,290
resources in your community, you
know, cause there’s help out there.

733
00:45:13,780 –> 00:45:17,790
Um, thankfully I’ve always, I’ve
had education, so I’ve been able to

734
00:45:17,799 –> 00:45:20,769
stay employed and, you know, I’ve
had my own business for a long time.

735
00:45:20,830 –> 00:45:23,560
And, you know, there’s just things you
need to do to take care of yourself.

736
00:45:23,560 –> 00:45:29,220
But then I’ve also discovered this way
broader community of support, especially

737
00:45:29,220 –> 00:45:31,290
in the narcissistic abuse arena.

738
00:45:31,690 –> 00:45:34,290
So, so that’s what the
second book is about.

739
00:45:34,290 –> 00:45:35,740
You know, it takes you
through the journey.

740
00:45:35,740 –> 00:45:39,880
So maybe yours, nobody’s journey is
exactly the same, but I think we’ve each

741
00:45:39,880 –> 00:45:44,729
experienced enough of the same things in
that, that you can, people can resonate.

742
00:45:44,770 –> 00:45:47,590
And even, you know, as I’m promoting
it, I’m saying, Well, you know,

743
00:45:47,590 –> 00:45:50,560
maybe, you know, somebody who’s
going through that, you know?

744
00:45:50,875 –> 00:45:54,595
Maybe buy them the book, you
know, it’s like, for my birthday,

745
00:45:54,595 –> 00:45:56,555
buy them the book, you know?

746
00:45:56,655 –> 00:45:57,825
Because maybe your friend needs it.

747
00:45:57,835 –> 00:46:00,175
Maybe you don’t, but maybe
your friend needs that.

748
00:46:00,235 –> 00:46:04,205
And they don’t even know
that’s an, an option, you know?

749
00:46:04,435 –> 00:46:08,740
So it’s, it’s, it’s my, my way of,
yes, I would love to sell copies,

750
00:46:08,740 –> 00:46:13,100
but I mean, it’s one of my ways, the
beginning of like how I can help people,

751
00:46:13,510 –> 00:46:17,550
you know, recognize what narcissism
is and know that they can get help.

752
00:46:17,700 –> 00:46:22,150
And, and there’s hope and that there’s a
ton of people out here who want to support

753
00:46:22,150 –> 00:46:24,980
them because it’s, it’s a crazy ride.

754
00:46:25,030 –> 00:46:27,910
I, you know, and the book about,
you know, sounds like it is a

755
00:46:27,910 –> 00:46:30,370
roller coaster because, you know,
one minute you’re getting along

756
00:46:30,370 –> 00:46:31,530
and the next minute you’re not.

757
00:46:31,560 –> 00:46:32,860
And it’s like, Oh my gosh.

758
00:46:36,795 –> 00:46:37,135
Yeah.

759
00:46:38,545 –> 00:46:45,265
Ed Watters: So, uh, leading with
that, do we expect a trilogy then?

760
00:46:47,394 –> 00:46:48,975
JoAnn Fawcett: There is a trilogy, yes.

761
00:46:49,005 –> 00:46:53,034
And what it is, is my dear friend
who said that my writing’s really

762
00:46:53,035 –> 00:46:55,994
good, who also knows the ex, bless
his heart, he’s my best friend.

763
00:46:56,414 –> 00:46:58,155
Um, you know, he said, You
should write your third book

764
00:46:58,165 –> 00:47:00,005
about how you’re really okay.

765
00:47:00,585 –> 00:47:06,060
And the way that’s coming about is
because I, and I said I talk to dead

766
00:47:06,060 –> 00:47:10,279
people, but a couple of years ago or so,
I had a psychic reading and she said,

767
00:47:10,290 –> 00:47:12,720
Your ancestors want you to write a book.

768
00:47:13,495 –> 00:47:17,135
They have messages that they want to get
out, and they want you to be their voice.

769
00:47:17,895 –> 00:47:22,334
So, part of it, part of my healing,
because I do talk to my ancestors

770
00:47:22,365 –> 00:47:28,744
regularly, and other people, but,
um, and so to help break the patterns

771
00:47:28,744 –> 00:47:34,260
that, I apparently inherited several of
the patterns from my, um, mom’s line.

772
00:47:34,260 –> 00:47:35,350
I don’t know about all the lines.

773
00:47:35,350 –> 00:47:39,820
But, so I’m talking to my mom and
several of my grandmas about, you know,

774
00:47:39,820 –> 00:47:41,939
What was your life like growing up?

775
00:47:41,940 –> 00:47:44,250
Because they don’t, they never
talked about their family history.

776
00:47:44,250 –> 00:47:47,379
So that part is just, you know, family
history, but also it’s like, And what

777
00:47:47,379 –> 00:47:49,439
was it like to be a woman in your time?

778
00:47:49,439 –> 00:47:51,780
Because now we’re going
way back into the 1800s.

779
00:47:51,820 –> 00:47:54,900
And it’s like, Were you allowed
to stand up and use your voice?

780
00:47:55,205 –> 00:47:59,275
And my great grandmother the other day
said, Well, that was a well kept secret.

781
00:47:59,425 –> 00:48:03,424
It’s like, oh crap, this, this isn’t,
and they have things to say because

782
00:48:03,425 –> 00:48:09,785
the women in my family are strong
and we’re all very powerful, but we

783
00:48:09,785 –> 00:48:11,915
weren’t always able to be powerful.

784
00:48:12,234 –> 00:48:15,695
And I have granddaughters and,
you know, now we have a powerful

785
00:48:15,695 –> 00:48:17,085
woman running for president.

786
00:48:17,585 –> 00:48:23,015
And it’s just, you know, regardless
of what your politics are, women

787
00:48:23,015 –> 00:48:27,165
need to be able to stand up for
themselves and just speak their truth.

788
00:48:27,744 –> 00:48:32,184
And so, you know, that is kind
of a theme in my family that

789
00:48:32,185 –> 00:48:34,445
always hasn’t been an option.

790
00:48:34,685 –> 00:48:38,700
And even, I’ve talked to a great
grandmother on a different line who

791
00:48:38,700 –> 00:48:43,260
was a witch in Germany back in the
1800s or, you know, it’s like, you

792
00:48:43,260 –> 00:48:44,680
know, and everybody else was Lutheran.

793
00:48:44,680 –> 00:48:46,370
It’s like, Yeah, we had
to kind of hide that.

794
00:48:46,380 –> 00:48:49,120
But, so these old ancient
ways have passed down.

795
00:48:49,120 –> 00:48:53,569
So I’m learning about what magical
ways have been passed down through

796
00:48:53,569 –> 00:48:58,540
my families, but also combining
that with, you know, really feeling

797
00:48:58,540 –> 00:49:00,930
empowered to be our best self.

798
00:49:01,520 –> 00:49:05,900
So that is going to be this crowning,
and I’m so, I’m really, I mean, yes,

799
00:49:05,900 –> 00:49:08,569
I’m still promoting, you know, the
new, the book that just came out.

800
00:49:08,570 –> 00:49:14,080
But I’m really excited because like, this
has become obviously very important to me.

801
00:49:14,219 –> 00:49:19,160
And, you know, and I’m, I’m being
accepted by all kinds of people

802
00:49:19,160 –> 00:49:22,570
who think it’s really okay for
me to be this powerful woman.

803
00:49:23,300 –> 00:49:26,180
Because, again, I’m not trying
to trample and be aggressive.

804
00:49:26,230 –> 00:49:30,280
And, you know, I dated for a little,
this one guy I dated, he was a lovely

805
00:49:30,280 –> 00:49:32,510
guy, but, um, you know, Well, I’m a Leo.

806
00:49:32,739 –> 00:49:36,139
Oh, it’s like every Leo I’ve
dated has been very aggressive.

807
00:49:36,140 –> 00:49:38,110
I go, Well, I’m not
aggressive, I’m chatty.

808
00:49:39,180 –> 00:49:42,749
But I’m not, you know, I can, you
know, I use my hands all the time,

809
00:49:42,749 –> 00:49:44,680
but I think that’s from a past life.

810
00:49:44,680 –> 00:49:49,460
But, um, but I can be
strong and, and that’s okay.

811
00:49:49,460 –> 00:49:52,810
And I don’t want the man in
my life to be afraid of that.

812
00:49:52,830 –> 00:49:55,770
I want us to be seen as equals.

813
00:49:56,649 –> 00:50:01,320
And, you know, that’s the
other thing my ex could not do.

814
00:50:01,320 –> 00:50:03,210
It’s like, you know, We, I
want to be equal partners.

815
00:50:03,320 –> 00:50:09,409
That freaked, he just couldn’t even
fathom, you know, he saw women as pets.

816
00:50:09,419 –> 00:50:13,330
So, you know, I don’t want to be your
kitty cat, I want to be your partner.

817
00:50:15,539 –> 00:50:16,209
Ed Watters: Right.

818
00:50:16,779 –> 00:50:21,489
Well, with that, you know,
every human being, man, woman,

819
00:50:21,509 –> 00:50:25,199
child, you know, we’re all life.

820
00:50:25,369 –> 00:50:30,085
And as far as that goes, that
goes for any life on this planet.

821
00:50:30,665 –> 00:50:34,395
It’s, it’s something to
be treasured and valued.

822
00:50:34,735 –> 00:50:39,705
It doesn’t matter if you’re black,
white, green, you know, it’s

823
00:50:40,845 –> 00:50:43,475
really about respecting life.

824
00:50:43,955 –> 00:50:49,745
And that’s, empowering
women is a big thing.

825
00:50:50,255 –> 00:50:57,875
You know, my, my wife went through sexual
abuse and, you know, sorting through all

826
00:50:57,875 –> 00:51:01,515
of this in a relationship is very hard.

827
00:51:02,265 –> 00:51:09,525
And if a woman does not have the
right to express herself, now, now

828
00:51:10,235 –> 00:51:15,394
you have to express yourself in
the right mannerisms to get any

829
00:51:16,125 –> 00:51:20,675
quality of, uh, uh, any quality back.

830
00:51:20,914 –> 00:51:25,575
So it’s really about finding out how
to communicate with your partner.

831
00:51:25,845 –> 00:51:28,115
You’re always going to have disagreements.

832
00:51:28,805 –> 00:51:32,175
A hundred percent, I’m going
to tell you, I guarantee it.

833
00:51:32,685 –> 00:51:37,795
And, and knowing how to be able
to come to your partner and

834
00:51:37,795 –> 00:51:39,205
say, Hey, we have a problem.

835
00:51:39,235 –> 00:51:41,925
Can we sit down and discuss this?

836
00:51:42,885 –> 00:51:44,344
That is golden.

837
00:51:44,465 –> 00:51:50,485
When I found that in my
relationship, I will fight tooth

838
00:51:50,485 –> 00:51:52,685
and nail to empower my wife.

839
00:51:52,965 –> 00:52:00,775
Because her voice has learned to be very
strong, and she is the wisest woman that

840
00:52:00,775 –> 00:52:05,044
I know, and she is caring and loving.

841
00:52:05,575 –> 00:52:14,094
And all that took to understand
that is to observe the relationship

842
00:52:14,305 –> 00:52:17,750
in an internal light, look in.

843
00:52:18,560 –> 00:52:21,840
Because I’m telling
you, I was a narcissist.

844
00:52:22,170 –> 00:52:26,890
And if you’re unwilling to look
at yourself and be critical

845
00:52:26,890 –> 00:52:30,910
about who and what you were,
you’re never going to change.

846
00:52:30,910 –> 00:52:37,050
And you’re always going to be that thing,
because that’s what it is, a thing.

847
00:52:37,060 –> 00:52:38,400
It’s not a human being.

848
00:52:38,910 –> 00:52:45,289
So, we really have to demand
strength in our relationship.

849
00:52:45,330 –> 00:52:50,730
Like we talked about earlier, it’s
about that truth and the strength.

850
00:52:51,520 –> 00:52:55,260
Build it in your foundation
early, the earlier the better.

851
00:52:56,090 –> 00:52:57,000
JoAnn Fawcett: Exactly.

852
00:52:57,670 –> 00:52:59,480
So you, you overcame
that personality trait?

853
00:53:03,230 –> 00:53:06,550
Ed Watters: I’m still overcoming it.

854
00:53:06,550 –> 00:53:07,570
It, it, you know, it,

855
00:53:10,420 –> 00:53:13,770
yes, well, you know, it’s
just like a drug addiction.

856
00:53:14,690 –> 00:53:18,180
You know, we all carry
addictive personalities.

857
00:53:18,410 –> 00:53:21,519
We all have narcissistic tendencies.

858
00:53:22,029 –> 00:53:27,795
So it’s really important to know
yourself, we talked about that.

859
00:53:28,165 –> 00:53:35,085
And once you know yourself, then you can
have empathy towards somebody else because

860
00:53:35,085 –> 00:53:37,695
you know what a jerk you really are.

861
00:53:38,075 –> 00:53:45,194
And, and really, that’s the magic of being
truthful and open up front, you know?

862
00:53:45,755 –> 00:53:50,125
And if you can find that,
it’s a great feeling.

863
00:53:50,125 –> 00:53:50,445
Go ahead.

864
00:53:53,860 –> 00:53:55,170
JoAnn Fawcett: That’s what I
was going to say, you know?

865
00:53:55,170 –> 00:53:57,410
And one thing that, um,

866
00:54:00,090 –> 00:54:05,900
I hear, you know, I, I hear, I, I’m around
my, my teen grandchildren sometimes.

867
00:54:05,930 –> 00:54:10,819
And, and it’s like, listen to the way
they talk to their parent, their mother.

868
00:54:10,870 –> 00:54:13,100
And it’s like, That’s your mom.

869
00:54:13,230 –> 00:54:15,280
How dare you talk to her like that.

870
00:54:15,350 –> 00:54:19,890
And you know, what I want to say is, and
they don’t see any problem with that.

871
00:54:19,890 –> 00:54:21,289
Well, we’re just saying how we feel.

872
00:54:21,289 –> 00:54:24,920
I go, But there’s a way to, it’s
like, But you know, it’s like I

873
00:54:24,920 –> 00:54:27,640
want to say, Here read my new book.

874
00:54:27,700 –> 00:54:31,580
How, I don’t call him grandpa Mark
anymore, but it’s like, Read what

875
00:54:31,610 –> 00:54:33,825
my ex, how he would talk to me.

876
00:54:33,835 –> 00:54:37,165
It’s like, to me, that is
how you sound to your mother.

877
00:54:37,525 –> 00:54:41,165
And, you know, my daughter, it’s like, my
daughter acknowledges, like, I would have

878
00:54:41,165 –> 00:54:42,435
never been allowed to say that to you.

879
00:54:42,435 –> 00:54:43,574
I go, Heck no.

880
00:54:43,655 –> 00:54:46,524
And, you know, I wasn’t allowed
to talk to my parents like that.

881
00:54:46,815 –> 00:54:48,885
But my therapist said
something very interesting.

882
00:54:48,885 –> 00:54:51,855
She goes, All these mothers are
coming to me and saying, That’s

883
00:54:51,885 –> 00:54:53,475
how all their children are talking.

884
00:54:53,475 –> 00:54:54,845
I go, Well, that’s disgusting.

885
00:54:55,265 –> 00:55:00,225
It’s like, How, you know, not disgusting
on the parents, I mean, yes, parents need

886
00:55:00,225 –> 00:55:03,555
to try and nip that in the bud, but you
know, your kids are going to be, you know,

887
00:55:03,565 –> 00:55:07,895
and, and yes, we, we could excuse them
for being teenagers, but that’s no excuse.

888
00:55:07,895 –> 00:55:12,810
It’s like, if you’re going to just show
up that way, but then you’re nice at

889
00:55:12,810 –> 00:55:14,540
school to your teachers and your friends,

890
00:55:14,540 –> 00:55:19,120
like, how are you going to show up
in a job or to your future partner?

891
00:55:19,460 –> 00:55:23,410
If you’re, if you think it’s okay to
talk that way now, because I, I’ve

892
00:55:23,420 –> 00:55:28,255
tried to tell them, you know, it’s
like, your family is what you have and

893
00:55:28,265 –> 00:55:30,015
your friends are going to come and go.

894
00:55:30,265 –> 00:55:33,885
But you’re, you’re, hopefully your
family’s going to stick by you forever.

895
00:55:34,295 –> 00:55:36,515
And why are you talking to them like that?

896
00:55:37,035 –> 00:55:38,615
And it just, it drives me nuts.

897
00:55:38,695 –> 00:55:40,375
But, um, you know, I hate it.

898
00:55:41,155 –> 00:55:44,644
And I’m sorry to hear that so
many parents are hearing that

899
00:55:44,644 –> 00:55:46,164
same stuff from their children.

900
00:55:46,165 –> 00:55:48,425
And I don’t think it’s
just Portland based.

901
00:55:49,115 –> 00:55:54,175
But I’ll, but you know, it’s like,
on a positive note, um, I have this

902
00:55:54,175 –> 00:55:56,285
lovely quote, which I always forget to

903
00:55:56,620 –> 00:55:58,050
bring to any of these things.

904
00:55:58,060 –> 00:56:05,789
But a non human, an alien senator at
a conference once gave this wonderful

905
00:56:05,790 –> 00:56:07,570
speech at this treaty conference.

906
00:56:08,330 –> 00:56:13,220
And part of this speech, which I love
to share, it’s like, he talks about

907
00:56:13,560 –> 00:56:18,819
how infinite the universe is and
how everything, you know, the, the

908
00:56:18,819 –> 00:56:21,639
universe is abundant and everything is

909
00:56:22,149 –> 00:56:24,775
wonderful and unique and incredible.

910
00:56:25,035 –> 00:56:30,935
Whether you have eyes or ears, you look
totally different, or you can’t share the

911
00:56:30,935 –> 00:56:33,475
same language, but it’s like so moving.

912
00:56:33,894 –> 00:56:37,814
And it’s like, here’s this, and I call
them people, they look like dinosaurs.

913
00:56:37,814 –> 00:56:43,085
But here’s this person who has
this wonderful perspective on the

914
00:56:43,115 –> 00:56:45,825
beauty that this universe provides.

915
00:56:46,810 –> 00:56:50,720
Among things that, there are so many
things that don’t look like us, you know?

916
00:56:51,050 –> 00:56:55,430
And it’s, just to know that there’s
spiritual beings and educated and

917
00:56:55,430 –> 00:57:00,845
intellectual beings that don’t, you
know, cause, you know, you know, humans

918
00:57:00,845 –> 00:57:06,365
are okay, cool, but, you know, we’re
maybe, but we’re different from everybody

919
00:57:06,365 –> 00:57:08,025
else and we’re younger than they are.

920
00:57:08,425 –> 00:57:14,085
But it’s like this, it just reminds us
that there’s so much cool, wonderful

921
00:57:14,245 –> 00:57:22,975
energy and possibilities, you know,
for connection and just acceptance

922
00:57:23,820 –> 00:57:26,250
of other humans and of other non humans.

923
00:57:26,250 –> 00:57:29,040
And it’s like, it’s just, it’s
like, you know, you look in space.

924
00:57:29,040 –> 00:57:33,790
And my nephew does some incredible
astronomy photography and it’s like,

925
00:57:34,510 –> 00:57:37,209
you know, if you look out there,
there’s probably somebody that lives

926
00:57:37,209 –> 00:57:39,379
out there and they don’t look like you.

927
00:57:39,970 –> 00:57:43,650
So yeah, it’s, it’s pretty
amazing what I’ve learned.

928
00:57:44,510 –> 00:57:48,825
But I will, um, say, because we might
be almost out of time anyway, But

929
00:57:49,445 –> 00:57:52,115
I have a website, joannfawcett.com.

930
00:57:52,365 –> 00:57:55,634
I’m on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

931
00:57:55,815 –> 00:57:59,695
My email is joann@joannfawcett.com
if anybody wants to chat.

932
00:58:00,645 –> 00:58:03,555
Um, I’m happy to help and
support you in however I can.

933
00:58:03,575 –> 00:58:06,665
Even just a listening
ear, I am here for you.

934
00:58:08,135 –> 00:58:10,185
And I’m really happy to
be on this show today.

935
00:58:15,725 –> 00:58:17,255
Ed Watters: Thank you
for joining us today.

936
00:58:17,414 –> 00:58:23,625
If you found this podcast enlightening,
entertaining, educational in any way,

937
00:58:24,115 –> 00:58:29,820
please share, like, subscribe, and join
us right back here next week for another

938
00:58:29,830 –> 00:58:32,870
great episode of Dead America Podcast.

939
00:58:33,090 –> 00:58:37,920
I’m Ed Watters, your host, enjoy
your afternoon wherever you may be.